May 10, 2023

Queen

My mouth dropped as I stared up at Caspian and he silently waited for me to say something with a charming smile on his face. My mouth went dry from being agape for so long and he placed a finger under my chin to close it. "Do I look that good?" He teased.

"H-how did you know," I stuttered as my heart pounded against my chest. "...that I-I was here?"

"I'm a vampire, darling," he whispered lowly as he crossed his arms. "I heard you the moment you set foot into the castle." Oh...I nodded slowly, not knowing what to say. "No one else knows if you're worried about that. I wasn't going to bother you, but I had no idea when you were going to leave again and I couldn't miss the chance to see you one more ti-"

I threw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his slender build, surprising us both. I let out a long breath as he hugged me back tightly. "I missed you, chipmunk..." he whispered with a small laugh. My eyes watered and I slowly pulled away to look at him fully.

"Oh my gosh," I sniffled as I studied him. "Look at you, Cas. Your hair!" I whispered excitedly as I looked at his long pink hair tied up into a messy bun at the top of his head. The sides were shaved down, giving a small glimpse into the tattoos that ran down his neck and past the v-shaped neckline of his white t-shirt.

"I grew it out a bit." He waved his hand in the air in front of me, his familiar jeweled wrists and fingers flashing before me. He crossed his arms again, his teeth capturing the ring on his lip as he looked at me nervously. "Hi."

"Hey." I grinned as a small awkwardness began to float into our moment.

"How are you?"

"I'm good." I nodded.

"Are you?"

"I am," I said. "And you?"

"A lot better now." I laughed softly at his reply and he rubbed his hands together nervously. "I umm, I had children. Well, we...we had kids," he said as he closed his eyes momentarily. "I wasn't sure if you knew..."

"I know," I assured him and he nodded, remaining quiet for another few seconds.

"I called," he told me.

I nodded slowly. "I know."

"Okay..." He sighed with a nod. "Would you like to see them?"

"Cas, I don't think I'm ready for-"

"My kids," he clarified with a small grin. "Would you like to meet them?"

"I-I'd love to." I nodded quickly. "I'm just not ready to see anyone..."

"You don't have to," he said in understanding. "I'll just sneak them over."

"Sneak the babies-..."

"Wait here."

"I..." In the blink of an eye, he was out of my sight and I let out a nervous breath, wiping my sweaty palms against the long shirt. With a gust of wind flashing in front of me, I looked up to see Cas with two small babies in his arms and my mouth dropped slowly as my eyes filled with tears.

"Do you mind if we come in?" He asked softly. I looked at one of the babies in his arms to see them holding out their small arms to me. "This is Phoenix," Cas sighed. "She's very social but...I'm working on it. I'm afraid she gets it from her mother."

"May I?" I asked permission as I pointed to her and held back a tight knot at the base of my throat.

"Of course." He smiled.

He leaned lower to my level and I took Phoenix into my arms. She squealed in my hold, planting a sloppy kiss on my cheek, and the tears I tried to hold back so desperately, streamed down my cheeks. Her small face contorted into a frown at my expression and a few moments later, she began to cry as well.

"See?" He said. "Just like her mother."

I laughed softly at his reaction and sniffled as I held her against me. "She's precious," I sniffled. My eyes floated to the other baby in his arms and from what I remembered of Syn's story, I had an idea of who he was. "Ember?"

At the mention of his name, his small head turned toward me for a brief second before he let out a small smile and buried his face into his father's neck. "Yes," Caspian said. "He's a bit more reserved than Phoenix as you can see." He tilted his head toward Phoenix who was touching random parts of my face curiously.

"Phoenix, sweetheart," Cas said sweetly. "Leave her alone." She peeked over at her father for a few seconds before turning back to me and continuing what she was doing. That earned a sigh from him and he shook his head. "We can't control her, I'm sorry."

"It's alright." I laughed, taking Phoenix's roaming hand into mine. She looked up at me with big grey eyes, and I smiled down at her. Caspian may have been irritated with her rebelliousness but of course, he'd be the last one to notice that she completely got it from him. If he thought she was a handful now, I couldn't wait to see what happened when she grew up. Maybe a little karma for how much smugness and cockiness he put into the world.

"Can you hold him for a moment as well, I do have one more I'd like you to meet," he said. I nodded quickly and held out my free arm for Ember. When he was in my arms, he looked at me curiously for a few seconds before lying his small head on his chest and looking at his sister.

She pointed at him and looked up at me. "Emba!"

"Oh, that's his name?" I played along and acted surprised. She nodded quickly, her brown short curls bouncing as she looked up at me. "Thank you for telling me."

"Welcome," her tiny voice uttered as she placed her finger down. My chest swelled with pride at her talking but a bittersweet pain filled my chest. This was another thing I missed.

"Nice to meet you, Emba," I said lowly as I looked down at him. He only glanced at me, not saying anything in response yet not moving away from my hold. They looked just alike but they were polar opposites. Phoenix would spew out random words in an incoherent yet excited mumble, and he would say nothing. All he would do was watch her talk and then look at me to check if I was listening. It was the most heartwarming thing.

I walked deeper into the room, sitting at the edge of the bed with them in my arms and I looked up when I heard footsteps. Caspian walked into the room, gently kicking the door shut before slowly walking toward me. "Well..." he sat down. "This is a bit of a long story but-"

"It's okay." I smiled. "Syn told me."

He let out a breath of relief. "I love that man." Me too. "I don't mind telling it, but to this day I'm not so sure what exactly took place. All I know is that I have two sons that the woman I love brought into this world and I love them both with all my heart."

"Well," I said. "You're a good father."

"No." He shook his head. "I'm a fucking exceptional father."

"Fuckig!" Phoenix yelled after him.

"First of all," he said to her. "I said fucking. Second, bad words are a no-no in public, understand?"

"No," she replied softly.

"Anyway," Caspian said as he looked back up at me. When he saw the look of shock on my face he smiled. "Don't act as you've never heard a baby cuss."

"I'm not acting." I laughed softly.

"I never really liked the idea of there being words that are bad," he said. "They're only words that have power because of the adults in our lives that forbade us from using them. And that's not who we are, you know? We believe in living beyond social stigmas and bad words is one of the worst ones. Cussing doesn't make anyone a bad person. Take me as an example: I've been cussing all my life and I'm pretty amazing."

I smiled. "Damn. I would've loved to have parents like you guys."

"Well." He winced. "It comes with its own set of problems. Phoenix calls her nanny a "beach" quite often. We're working on pronunciation, but also...her not calling her a bitch. We'll figure it out though. No worries."

I smiled at his rambling and my eyes dropped to the dark bundle of blankets in his arms. "Is that him?" I said lowly.

"Oh, right," he said before turning his body toward mine. "You can put Ember and Phoenix on the bed," he said. "They'll be fine."

I reluctantly placed them down one by one beside us and Phoenix immediately crawled to the head of Syn's bed and stood up, holding on to the headboard as she jumped and fell repeatedly. "Be careful," I said to her, worried that she may somehow fall off the bed.

"Don't worry," Caspian assured me. "She knows her dad is fast enough to catch her if something were to happen. I suppose maybe that is why she's so reckless, hmm?" He pointed out in thought. "Anyway." He shook his head. "This is our son...

Azrael

...Syn named him," he said as he placed him into my arms.

Angel of Death.

"Syn did a good job." I smiled, looking down at the small baby. He hadn't made a sound in my arms, but his eyes were stuck on mine. He shared the same grey specs in his that Phoenix and Ember had, but his were a bit darker. If I looked long enough, it felt like I was being pulled into some dark void. It reminded me of Syn's eyes when we first met; watchful yet missing something.

The moment made me think about Genesis. I wondered about how she reacted when she saw Syn for the first time. How did she feel when she looked into those eyes? Lost in thought, I didn't snap back until I felt a small hand touch mine. I looked down to see Azrael wrap his hand around one of my fingers and I smiled down at him.

"He likes you," Caspian said.

"How can you tell?"

"He doesn't like to be touched by most people and he hasn't killed you, so..." My smile dropped and he burst into laughter. "I'm messing with you, Queen. I can just tell."

I scoffed at him and looked back down at the baby. Just like everyone else, I had no idea what his future and our part in it would be...but I'd be there for him. For all three of them. Their parents and I weren't exactly in the best situation, but it wouldn't last forever.

I was sure of that.

I just needed a bit of time.

"I'm sorry," Cas spoke up.

"Hmm?"

"For what happened," he said. "We- I should have trusted you more than that. You deserved more than that. I was a shitty friend, Queen, but I am beyond happy that you've gone on and built a life for yourself somewhere you're happy. I hope it's everything you've ever dreamed of."

"I mean..." I shrugged a shoulder before nodding. "It is a good life and I'm content."

"Just content?"

"I don't know." I sighed. My life on Earth was great, but there were so many things it was missing. My family. Of course, Cain and Abel were my brothers and I loved them more than anything, but this is where my people were...where my father, son, and friends lived...

This place was where Syn was, so Earth, could never truly contain everything I ever dreamed of. Life down there was a million times easier of course, but that's all it was; an easy out. An out to the craziness that happened in the Underworld...an out to the hectic relationship Syn and I shared...As long as I had it, it would place a hindrance on our relationship but I wasn't quite ready to let go of the comfort of having it.

"Piece of advice?" He asked.

"Yes, please."

"Follow your heart and figure out the rest later," he said before standing up. "It's going to get you in a lot of fucked up shit, but it's always right in the end. Doing just that is the biggest leap you can take in life."

I let his words sink in and smiled. He was right. My heart knew what it wanted, but my brain was a hard machine to turn off. It would remind me of every reason not to do what Cas had just told me.

I heard a yawn from the bed and I looked down to see Ember preparing to lay down on the bed. "And that's our cue to leave," Caspian said as he picked him up. He took Phoenix into his arms after several no's from her and she whined as he lifted her against his chest. I helped him place Azrael into his full arms and he smiled before looking down at me.

"Whatever you decide to do, I wish you nothing but the best, Queen," he said. "If there is ever nowhere to turn or you're just missing my greatness, I'm one portal away."

"Thank you, Cas." He bent down, placing a kiss on the top of my head before turning and sending me a wink over his shoulder. I waved at him one more time before he disappeared out of the room and I sunk onto the bed. His stay was short, but I enjoyed every minute of it. I didn't know how much I missed him until he was right in front of me.

I laid back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling in thought. What would happen if I took a leap? Would I end up getting myself hurt again? Or would I be the one hurting Syn this time...

It wasn't a surprise. It was what we were created to do to each other, but was I ready to let him be the one I argued with forever? A part of me knew the answer to the question, but another more logical part of my mind was waiting for the ball to drop. We'd be good, even great and then something would pop up out of thin air and just destroy-

A phone in the room let out a ping, disturbing me from my thoughts and making me sit up. I still didn't have my phone so I knew it wasn't mine. Remembering that, I laid back down and sighed.

Ping! It sounded again.

Followed by another one...

And another.

Ping!!

PiNg!!!

PING!!!!

It continued until I couldn't take it anymore and I immediately sat up to find the source of the noise laying on Syn's bedside. It was his phone. One notification was followed by another and driving me insane. I reached out my hand to take it and check who wanted to speak to him so badly, but remembered it truly wasn't my place...was it?

We hadn't truly sat down and made things official once again...but I was in his room...in his bed...and in his shirt. I mean...if we were being technical, I was still technically his wife! Better yet, his Queen. If I couldn't step past his cloak of privacy, who could?

I made plenty of excuses for myself as I grabbed his phone but I knew the truth. My possessiveness was rearing its ugly head and I was curious to know who was texting him so...aggressively at almost eleven at night. He hardly had any friends and I couldn't imagine many people who truly were feening for a friendly conversation with him.

The home-screen lit up and seventeen notifications were before me. Every single fucking one from Stella. I couldn't see the content of the messages as his phone was locked, but I didn't think twice before scrolling up and typing in his password from when we were together.

When it unlocked, I took that as another invitation to snoop as I pleased and when directly to his messages from her.

Syn: I don't want anything to do with you, Stella. I don't want to have to ask you again to leave me the fuck alone.
6:32 a.m.

Stella: Why are you doing this to me? All I've done is be there for you!
6:35 a.m

Stella: Syn, please just come and talk to me.
6:36 a.m.

Stella: I have some Cap if you want some. Just come home.
10:03 a.m.

Stella: Answer your fucking phone!
12:53 p.m.

Stella: Syn!
1:00 p.m.

Stella: SYN!
6:37 p.m.

Stella: I fucking hate you right now! I swear if you're ignoring me to be with that bitch I'm going to go crazy on both of you!
7:21 p.m.

"What bitch?" I whispered, raising a brow.

You're not talking about me...

Right, Stella?

꧁꧂

Author's Note
Chile if I were in this book and I were Queen's friend...😤

What do you guys think is about to happen...👀
Was she wrong to go into Syn's phone?
Also, we got to see Cas again🥺 did anyone miss him?

Lmk your thoughts✨💃🏾