May 9, 2023

Queen

"Listen to me..."

He relaxed, leaning his chin on his hand as he waited for me to continue on. "Aiden is a great guy," I said honestly. "Truly fucking great, but he's just...not you. With you gone, I forced myself to try and move on. He happened to be there at my lowest points and our friendship became something else."

It pained me to say this about Aiden after he introduced me to his family and friends, but it was the truth. I had just never said it out loud before. Maybe if I were a different girl in a different life meeting him before I met Syn, things would have been different. But in this life...right here and right now, Syn SinClaire was the only person my heart craved.

That would never change.

"I really really tried to let it become something more so I could feel like the hold you had over me was all in my head, but it's not. I love you more than the word 'love' could possibly express and thinking about either of us being with anyone else breaks my heart. So stop thinking about Aiden, and I'll forget about Stella. I just need to know that you're here now...with me."

"I am." He took both of my hands into his and placed a kiss on them. "I'm sorry...for everything that I've said I'm sorry for, and everything I haven't. I'm just so fucking afraid of losing you, Princess. If you knew the person I became after you left, I'm not sure if you'd still be here."

"I'm not going anywhere," I said. "I promise."

He took in a shaky breath and looked down at our intertwined hands. "I hope you mean that...because there's something I need to tell you," he whispered.

"What?" He took his hands out of mine and buried his face in them. I waited a few moments, my heart pounding as the seconds of silence passed. I heard a sniffle come from him and my brows furrowed immediately.

Is he crying?

"Syn." I placed my hand on his arm. His movements were so small that I couldn't see them, but I could feel him shaking. "What is it? You can talk to me."

It was rare to see him cry in general, but this moment felt different than the rest. He just completely broke down. It looked him he was battling with something. I didn't know if it was him deciding whether or not to tell me what he needed to, or if it was because what he said to say was something that would ruin us.

He wiped his eyes and looked up at me with red and puffy ones. His green eyes were glossy with fresh tears and my heart broke into a million pieces to see him like this. I scooted closer to him and wiped his cheeks before giving him a quick kiss on the lips. "I more than love you, okay? Whatever it is...we'll figure it out together."

With a small nod and shaky breath, his eyes returned to the space between us. "I umm," he started quietly. "I've been doing—"

A phone rang in the room, cutting him off abruptly and we both looked around. Our eyes landed on his phone resting on his bedside yet neither one of us moved. Picking up the phone would mean interrupting the one time Syn started to be vulnerable with me.

He reached for it, and I placed a hand on his arm. "Don't answer it."

"It's your brother," he replied. He picked up the phone and stood up from his seat. I blew out a frustrated breath and sat back deflated. Whatever it was couldn't wait a few damn seconds?!

"Okay, Cain," Syn said into the phone as he spoke to my brother. "I'll tell her...Okay." When he hung up the phone, he tapped it gently on his palms before looking over at me. "You need to leave."

"What? Why?"

"Aiden is in the hospital. And..." His breath wavered as he looked away from me. "...he needs you."

"W-what?" I stood up. "What happened?"

"I didn't get the details from Cain. All I know is he couldn't reach you so he called me."I laid a hand over my head in frustration and worry. How the hell did he end up in the hospital? "You should go to him."

"Okay." I nodded quickly, almost stumbling over my legs as I walked to the door. When I placed my hand on the knob, a wave of resistance hit me, keeping me from opening it. How would I look going to be with Aiden because he needed me...when Syn obviously needed me to be here.

He may have been telling me to go, but I couldn't imagine what was going through his head. All I knew was that if he left me right now to go be with Stella, I'd probably kill him.

I let go of the door and turned around. Syn was seated in the chair, still looking deep in thought as he stared at the floor. I walked back over to where he was sitting and sighed as I placed my hands on the chair across him.

"Do you mind if I borrow your phone?"

꧁꧂

Syn

I ignored the burning in my chest as I unlocked my cell phone and passed it to her. I was so close. I was one second away from telling her everything. For the past couple of days I stopped taking the pills. I wanted to prove to Hades that I didn't need them but it was harder than I thought. I could hardly sleep unless I was completely wrapped around Queen and even then it wouldn't be more than a few hours.

I didn't know the effect they had on me until I stopped. This conversation made me desperately want to leave and go back to my condo and get my next fill. Each moment of it drained me. It wasn't until Queen began truly speaking from her heart that I finally thought things would be okay.

For one moment, I believed her when she promised she wouldn't leave.

But that phone call was the shot of reality I needed. It was a remind. A reminder that she loved me and continued to love me so long as I was becoming a better person than I used to be. She'd run for the hills if she found out I had actually become far worse.

As aggravating as it was to receive that call from Cain, it may have prevented me from yet another heartbreak of watching Queen leave all over again.

I heard her dial a number, and a few moments later, she started speaking. "Cain, what happened?" She paused. "Tell him I'll be there in the morning. I can't make it tonight."

I lifted my head to look up at her in shock and she gave me an understanding smile. A cool wave of relief flooded my chest at her conversation with him. She wasn't leaving. At least not tonight.

"I'll see you guys in the morning," she said. She hung up the phone and sighed before sitting in front of me. She handed me back my phone, and I watched her, searching for any signs of regret.

I knew I vocalized how I truly felt about her and Aiden, but I didn't want her to resent me for not going to see her friend. Id rather her leave me here knowing we talked about as much as we could, than her stay and wish she were with him.

"You don't have to stay," I told her. "I know you're probably worried."

"I am." She nodded. "But I'm more worried about you right now."

"Did Cain tell you why he's in the hospital?"

"He had an allergic reaction," she said. "He's allergic to peanuts...I don't know how that happened though. He's usually so careful..." She remained deep in thought, staring off to the side with her brows furrowed in concentration.

"What are you thinking?"

"I umm..." She shook her head. "I don't know. Nothing, I guess."

"Tell me."

She sighed. "He checks every single ingredient in everything. Something just feels...off. I have a bad feeling. I don't what exactly it is but there's something nagging at me."

"You don't just want to go see for yourself?"

"I do, but not tonight," she said, wrapping her arms around my neck. "I want to be here with you right now, and at exactly midnight, I want us to go wake up our son and wish him a happy birthday."

I smiled and placed my hands on her thighs. "That sounds nice."

"And tomorrow...if you're not busy, of course—"

"I won't be," I said quickly, making her laugh softly.

"The three of us could do something after I stop by the hospital. No guards though," she said, reminding me of our argument hours ago.

"I'm sorry about that. I should've talked to you. I just...I can't afford to lose another..." I sighed. "I can't lose Saint. I know you're capable of protecting him and yourself but you and I know more than anyone that there are things beyond our control."

Sadness filled her eyes as she caught on to what I was saying. I didn't blame her for Xavia. I knew she fought like Hell to stop the Seers, but at the end of the day, she was outnumbered. If I could prevent it, that would never happen again. The Seers were gone, but dangers we didn't know about were still lurking around the corner.

"Do you ever wonder where she is?" Queen asked sadly, removing her hands from around me and placing them into her lap. Her eyes were lowered as she twiddled her thumbs and I watched as her face morphed into one of sorrow.

"Always," I said. "If I knew where she was right now, there would be no force strong enough to stop me from getting to her." She smiled sadly and we exchanged a look of understanding. "I believe one day...one way or another...we'll see her again."

She nodded quickly, a few stray tears falling down her cheeks before she wiped them away. "I just miss her."

"I do too." I wrapped my arms around her and she leaned into my hold. We stayed like this. Neither one of us exchanged a word yet completely understanding the meaning of the moment; we never had the chance to mourn. Not like we should have...

Together.

We remained that way for a few more minutes until Queen pulled away. "What were you going to tell me earlier?"

"What?"

"Before Cain called," she reminded me. "You seemed like you had something important to say?"

"I do." But I can't. "But it can wait. I need something else from you right now."

꧁꧂

Author's Note
Damn damn damn damn damn!!!!

SYN WAS SO MF CLOSE TO TELLING HER EVERYTHING OMGGG😭🤧
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