May 8, 2023

Queen

I woke up with memories of last night's conversation with Syn fresh in my mind. Every time I thought about how stubborn he was being I wanted to strangle some sense into him but even I knew that it wouldn't work. He'd go an eternity and beyond not letting me cross any boundaries he set for himself.

I never remembered our relationship in the past being so fucking hard. Yes, he was always a hard ass but I chose to marry him. He still never opened up to me back then but...I was close. Regardless of the unspoken truths he kept to himself when I was beside him, I was his person. If we actually left for our honeymoon that night and continued on as a married couple, I was sure things would have changed.

Syn, however, wasn't so simple. He remained ever-changing in his thoughts about how far or close he'd hold me and these days it was as far as possible.

I guess I couldn't fully blame him though...I had my issues as well. Maybe I wanted too much from him.

A sudden sound of glass breaking from downstairs made me jump to my feet and storm out of my bedroom. I rushed down the steps as quickly as I could, thinking something awful had happened but when I reached the living room, I let out a sigh of relief.

Syn bounced Saint in his arms as Saint rested his cheek on his chest. Noticing my sudden presence, Syn looked over at me and gave me a curt nod and smile. "Morning."

"Hey," I said lowly as I took slow steps to the kitchen island. "I thought you were going to be gone by now so when I heard someone downstairs...I thought someone had broken in."

He chuckled softly and shook his head. "No intruders just yet. How did you sleep?"

Horrible.

"Good. You?" I sat on the stool across from where he was standing with Saint.

"Good." He nodded before giving me a small smile. It didn't quite reach his eyes and I knew he was lying but I didn't call him out on it. Not when I was doing the same thing. I didn't doubt for one second that he didn't know I was being dishonest as well. After the tense conversation last night, we were both walking on eggshells.

"He's letting you hold him now." I pointed out as I smiled at Saint who was occupied with playing with Syn's dark tie.

"For now," he replied. "He didn't let me touch him this morning until I brought up food."

"That's my son," I teased proudly.

Syn scoffed, shaking his head as he walked toward me. "Sure is. Take him for a second, will you? I dropped a glass and I need to clean it up before someone gets hurt."

I held out my arms for Saint and he leaned into my hold. His small head rested on my chest, but his grip on Syn's tie remained strong. We both laughed briefly at the image, but when Syn tried to remove his tiny hand with no luck, we both raised a brow at one another.

"Saint, I'll be right back," Syn assured him. "Let go."

He tried gently removing his hand once again but when Saint's hand didn't appear to budge, I frowned. "Syn, it can't be that hard. He's a baby."

With my free hand, I put my hand over Saint's and tried to get it off Syn. It didn't move. If anything, it became stronger, leaving me in complete shock. I looked down at Saint to see a playful smile on his small face and I sighed. "Baba, come on. You need to let go of daddy, okay?" Instead of paying any mind to what I had said, Syn's face abruptly moved closer to mine, making me jump back in my seat in surprise. "What are you doing?"

"I'm not doing anything." He tried to move away from me, but every time he did, Saint tugged him back. I burst into laughter at the struggle between them and Syn scowled at me. It was a serious moment considering Saint had never pulled something like this before, but seeing a baby overpower a man as large as Syn was hilarious.

My laughter continued on until Syn's face was close enough for me to feel his minty breath on my lips. That's when everything stopped being funny and my breath caught in my chest as my heart raced. His familiar cologne mixed with the smell of his aftershave made my body tingle. I swallowed a breath to control myself and tore my eyes away from his which did nothing but make my stomach do somersaults as they fell on his pink and full lips.

He licked his lips and I looked away in embarrassment. Get ahold of yourself. I usually did have a hold of myself. Only, it was with everyone else except him. Something that was beyond the scope of our vision was pulling us together like a magnet and it wasn't the baby in my arms.

"Saint," he whispered pleadingly, "you're going to get me in a world of trouble. Let go."

"Trouble?" I looked back at him.

"Trouble, Queen. Being in the same house or room as you is hard enough without being a literal inch away from everything I want."

I held back the waves of emotion swelling in my throat and shook my head softly. "I can't believe that. Not when you turn down every opportunity I give for us to be closer."

"You do the same, you know?"

What?

"How do I-"

Before I could finish asking him what he meant, I heard a tear in the fabric and a moment later he was as far away from me as he could be. "No tie today then," he muttered as he removed the half-torn piece of his tie from his neck and walked toward the garbage.

I looked down at Saint's hand to see the other half of the tie and I sighed. "What were you trying to do?" I frowned. I removed the material from his hands and he looked up at me with big teary eyes. His lip quivered as if he were about to cry and I held him against me, whispering soothing words.

A part of me knew that this distance between Syn and me was hurting him along with the both of us, but I didn't know how to fix it.

"Okay well, I'm about to head out," Syn said as he grabbed his keys from the counter beside him.

"You're still leaving?"

"I have things I need to do," he reminded me and my eyes dropped back down the counter. "I should be back in a few hours. I ordered food for you both and..." he paused and I looked back up at him. "...unless you want me to stay?"

"Stay here?"

"Your entire attitude changed when I said I was leaving. If you're afraid to be here alone I could always just wait-"

"I'm not afraid."

"Well, if you just want me to stay-"

"It's fine. Go do what you have to. We'll be okay."

He remained quiet for a moment, silently observing me before nodding and walking around the island. He gave Saint a quick kiss on the head and left for the door without so much as another word to me. As soon as I heard the door shut, I groaned and leaned my head against Saint's.

"Ughh."

Syn

I was disappointed that Queen didn't want me to stay with her and Saint, but in hindsight, it was for the best. I couldn't push this meeting away any longer. I took a sip of the sweet coffee and immediately cringed. It seemed that only Dimitri was able to get it just right. Every time I tried to order coffee without her it just turned into a shitfest.

"Hey," I heard.

I looked up to see Hades looking down at me in the booth and I tilted my head toward the empty seat across from me. When he took his seat, we both remained silent, waiting for the other person to talk and after a few moments of awkwardness, he laughed.

"What the fuck, Syn?" He shook his head.

"What?"

"You asked to meet me and now you're sitting here like I'm the one who called."

"I just wanted to give you the opportunity to speak...if there was anything you wanted to say."

"I have a lot to say," he said. "But you don't want to hear it. Trust me."

I sighed, holding the warm cup of disgusting coffee in my hands. I knew I needed to be the one to speak. I just didn't know where to start. After remaining quiet for a few moments longer, I swallowed my pride and opened my mouth. "I'm sorry," I said lowly.

"What was that?" He asked, holding a hand over his ear and turning his head.

"I'm sorry," I repeated, looking around briefly.

"What?" He asked in amusement. "You think the barista is going to judge you for apologizing to me?"

"I'm being serious right now," I said earnestly as I looked at him. "I shouldn't have put my hands on you."

"It's alright." He shrugged. "I forgot my place and I crossed a line. You're the king and I'm-"

"You're my friend," I admitted. "It doesn't matter if I'm your King or not. You're my friend and I should've never done that. For that, I apologize profusely."

"I don't give a fuck about you getting physical, Syn. It happens. I live in Hell for fucks sake. What I do give a fuck about is your killing yourself with this shit you're doing," he said. "I don't want to tell anyone and hurt you, but it's getting to a point where I don't know what else to do to get you to stop."

"Hades, I'm fine. Why can't you believe that?"

"Because I'm not an idiot," he scoffed. "You may not see it, but you're changing. Call me annoying or selfish, but I refuse to see you die within the next few centuries."

"I'm not going to die."

"How do you know? You've died before."

I shook my head. "That's fucked up."

"It's the truth. It may not have been to drugs but can you say with one-hundred percent certainty that if a threat were to come for you and your family you'd be able to protect them? Are your mind and body alert enough?"

"Yes," I said half-heartedly, not fully believing myself.

"What if you aren't?" He asked. "I've seen how broken you were after Queen left you. Could you imagine how fucked up you'd be if she were hurt and you were too high to help?"

I shut my eyes tightly and lowered my head in shame. As irritating and painful as it was to hear, he was right. I could never live with myself if anyone I loved were to be hurt and I couldn't protect them.

"You know deep down that those pills won't do anything but fuck up your life, Syn." I nodded in silent agreement and he sighed. "Do you trust me?" He asked. "Not just as your right-hand man in Hell, but as a good friend who won't let you hurt yourself. Let me help you, Syn."

"No." I shook my head, mentally waving away all his words of assistance. "I got myself into this shit and I need to get out of it on my own. I don't need help."

"Syn, it's not that simple. You should-"

"I got it," I said seriously. "If you want to help, just help me find Drake."

"Surely Drake would be the least of your concerns with everything going on, Syn," he insisted. "We need to-"

"Hades," I said in a tone harsher than intended. I appreciated him worrying but I didn't need to be treated like a child. I knew what I was doing. "Let me do this...alone, okay? All I request from you with my personal matters is silence. Nothing more. Nothing less."

He shook his head in disappointment yet I remained firm in my stance. These days, feeling everything felt like a burden. Everyone around me began seeing me as someone who needed "help" and I fucking hated it.

Where were they before?

I ignored the deflated expression he wore as he looked around and I blew out an exasperated breath. "Look, all I came here to do today was apologize for what I did. If you truly believe that I'm not capable of my Kingdom and myself, then take it up with the council."

My father, centuries ago created the factions as not only representation for all the beings in Hell, but also so we could check each other if need be. To vote out one of the leaders of a faction, there would need to be a majority vote. However, to dethrone me...it would take every single fucking one of them. Even if Hades were to go to them, it wasn't likely that anything would come of it.

"I'm not going to the council, Syn. I just want you to promise that you'll quit. Not for Hell, but for yourself."

"Yeah, sure. I promise. Can we talk about work now?"

꧁꧂

Author's Note
*How I'd be looking at Syn if I was there*

Do y'all believe him though? Do you really think he'll listen to Hades's advice?...
I guess we'll see chile.

Also, idk if y'all can feel it but the tension with Syn and Queen could be cut with a knife🤧. I can't breathe.
I wonder what Saint was doing tho...

Read on✨ and Lmk your thoughts❤️