May 6, 2023

Queen

Syn and I stormed into the house, making a sharp turn to the living room. Instead of seeing a bunch of vampires as Drake threatened, we were faced with shocked faces sitting in the living room, looking straight at us.

Abel dropped his chip, his mouth wide open as he looked at Syn and me. Cain and Iris's eyes were filled with shock at the sight of us and her grandfather chuckled as he focused on the movie playing on the television. "That man is funny!" He laughed as he pointed at the TV. When he turned to see if anyone heard him, he noticed Syn and me. "Did I miss something...?"

"Where is Saint?" Syn spoke up.

Almost everyone pointed upstairs and Syn turned around, heading towards it. I didn't give myself time to explain to everyone what happened as I followed immediately behind him. With his long legs, he practically flew to the top of the stairs while I struggled in my heels. He turned the corner, disappearing from my vision and when I reached the top of the stairs, I rushed to Saint's bedroom.

I pushed the door open and when I saw Syn lifting him from his small bed and holding him against him, I leaned against the wall and let out a relieved breath. "Shit," I breathed out, running my hands down my face. All of the tension in my body that kept me from losing it on the way here left, and the waterworks started. My shoulders shook as I dropped the gun and cried into my hands.

The thought of losing Saint was beyond heartbreaking. It made me think of Xavia and all the ways I failed in protecting her when I needed to.

Within a few seconds, I felt a strong arm wrap around my shoulders. My head rested on Syn's chest as he held Saint and me against him and I took caulking breaths, not wanting Saint to see me crying.

Syn kissed the top of my head as I wiped away my tears and after a few moments, I took Saint into my arms. "Hey, baby," I sniffled, instinctively checking him for any sign of harm as he looked up at me. He let out a small yawn as we looked down at him and I laughed softly. "Did we wake you up, baba? I'm sorry." I bounced him slightly as I moved around Syn to go to his bed.

His eyes fluttered shut as he struggled to keep them open and I lowered him onto the bed. I laid down next to him, lifting the blanket over his small body and patting his back gently. Syn laid on the other side of him, his head resting on his hand as he looked at me. His legs hung off the bed and I smiled softly, knowing that he must've been uncomfortable yet didn't say anything about it as he made sure Saint and I were okay.

I realized then that this was what he always did. Ignored his own needs and feelings to put us first. When he saw me crying, he immediately came to me without any hesitation. There was no time for him to regain his composure and experience the same relief that I felt, he was just fine.

As always.

As Saint's tiny snores filled the space between us, Syn got off of the bed and ran a hand through his hair. "Are you okay?" I questioned him, sitting up at the edge of the bed as I looked at him.

He placed his hands on his sides and let out a long breath as he looked up at the ceiling. "Ask me again in a few seconds," he replied. Not knowing what else to do, but wanting to do something. I stood up and opened my arms. His eyes moved to me and he raised a brow as he eyed me curiously. "What?"

"Do you need a hug?"

"Not...necessarily." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Come here," I insisted.

"No...?"

"Syn, you know you want one."

"No...I don't— I umm...don't think I do?"

"Fine." I sighed, dropping my arms as I turned and headed to the door. "We should go explain to everyone what just happened." He didn't say anything, but I heard him follow behind me as I left the room. I wasn't hurt that he rejected my effort to comfort him, I was just slightly disappointed that I couldn't do anything for him.

I continue walking, but when I reached the top of the stairs, Syn took my hand, stopping me in my tracks. When I turned to face him, I raised my brows in question and he dropped my hand, glancing at the floor beneath us before looking at me. "Could you...well...?" He tilted his head, seeming to weigh his options.

"Could I what?"

"You can hug me," he said. "If you don't make a spectacle out of it."

"Why would I make a spectacle?"

"Because you're weird," he replied simply. "Don't make this weird."

I sighed. "Just forget it," I said. "I don't want to make you do something you're clearly uncomfortable with."

"Well, I..." he paused, looking around for an answer. "Okay, let's just go talk to everyone." He walked around me, heading down the stairs and leaving me in the same spot confused as to what just happened. He was the one so against me hugging him...so why did he look so disappointed when I stopped pestering him?

Before he could go further down the steps, I pulled the back of his collar and turned him around. Before he could say anything that made me doubt that this is what he needed right now, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders pulled him against me. Caught off guard, his hand rested on my hip as I practically had him in a chokehold against my boobs.

After a few moments, he relaxed in my hold, and slowly, his arms wrapped around my waist. I sighed, running my fingers through his dark hair as he remained quiet. "I'm sorry, Syn. For not doing this any time in the past when you may have needed it," I bit the inside of my cheek, "for talking too much when I should've been listening..." A test rolled down my cheek. "Sometimes I forget how far you've come and I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me...but you can take a break, you know? You didn't fall in love with a weak bitch."

He let out a small huff of laughter and I shook my head. "I'm serious. I can handle shit. I won't ask you to be fully transparent with me, but I do ask that you come to me if you need me. I won't judge you for taking a break from being Syn SinClaire," I said. "I love you...like Hell, I seriously do. I know I irritate you more often than not and I can't swear that'll change overnight, but I'll try to respect your boundaries when it comes to your past, " I sniffled. "Just tell me what you need from me and I'll do it."

His arms wrapped tighter around me and he buried his head into the crook of my neck. "I just need time," he said lowly.

I nodded. "Okay."

"Okay," he whispered.

"Just know I'm always here for you no matter what?" I pulled away, looking down at him. I noticed his puffy eyes brimming with tears as he turned around and my heart reached out for him. He ran a hand down his face, giving me an appreciative nod before taking a shaky breath and walking down the rest of the steps.

Although I wasn't any steps further than I was a few minutes ago when it came to him, something felt different. It felt like I made a tiny dent in his stone walls— which wasn't much considering how guarded he was, but if it provided him with any sort of comfort, then it didn't matter to me what he did or didn't open up about.

If time was what he needed, then that's what I'd give him.

I gathered myself before heading downstairs to join everyone and when I arrived, Syn was explaining everything that happened. From Drake to his threat, and now how we'd have to take measures to make sure we all stayed safe.

"I can have guards here within the hour," Cain said as he typed away on his phone. "Queen and Iris can have a couple with them at all times."

"What?!" Iris and I said at the same time.

"I don't need bodyguards," I said to him. "I'm more than capable of watching over myself." I looked to Abel for any help defending me against Cain since they usually disagreed with one another, but he winced and shrugged his shoulders.

"You're my little sister," he said. "I like the idea of you having someone to watch over you."

My mouth dropped and I looked at Syn, hoping he'd have my back. "Can you tell them please?"

"Actually," he shoved his hands into his pockets. "I'm with Cain on this one. I'm not with you all the time, I'd feel more at ease knowing someone else was."

"Ugh, whatever," I muttered, shaking my head and standing up as Iris began arguing her case with Cain. He remained adamant that she needed to be safe despite her disapproval, and I shook my head.

The idea of some dude I didn't know following me everywhere I went made me uneasy. I knew what type of shit Cain was involved in before he met us. His men were vicious from what I had heard and I didn't want any parts in that.

I opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water, letting the chatter behind me fade away. When I closed it, I saw Syn leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and I shook my head in disappointment. "Right after we just had a moment..."

"I'd hope that my concern for your safety doesn't make you take back what you said to me." He raised a brow.

I took a sip of water, feeling defeated as he looked at me with those damn eyes. I didn't have the heart to argue when he looked at me like that...not today. "It doesn't." I closed the bottle, toying with the cap quietly.

"What's bothering you so much about this?"

I shrugged, not wanting to dive into the conversation and he stepped forward, tilting my chin in his direction. "Talk to me."

I sighed. "It just makes me nervous, okay?" I admitted. "I—...I don't like men, Syn. It takes me so long to get close enough to trust one after everything, and now you guys are just forcing some stranger on me."

His brows scrunched in thought as he looked at me and I took my eyes off of him. Honesty was fucking hard. It made me feel exposed as he looked at me and I wanted to disappear in this very spot.

"You've never told me that," he said.

"Told you what?"

"That you're afraid of men."

"I didn't say afraid."

"Queen..." he tilted his head, making me look down at the counter and shake my head. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I shrugged. "Because," I said. "I remember the way you treated me after the whole..." I waved my hand, not wanting to say Sebastian's name out loud. "Thing. You didn't touch me, kiss me— I was some fragile thing in your eyes and I didn't like that. What would you have done if I had told you I was afraid of something you are?" I asked. "It doesn't make sense and it's irrational so I figured I'd just deal with it on my own until I got over it."

"It's not irrational at all," he said. "You went through a lot and if you ever want to talk about it...or not talk about it..."

"I know."

"No bodyguard then," he finally said.

"Thank you."

"But I want you and Saint to stay with me then. At least then I'll be with the both of you and not worry."

"Hmm?" I crossed my arms. "With Stella and the booze?"

"That's not what I had in mind," he replied. "Besides I'm sure Drake knows where I stay."

"Then where?"

"Just trust me and start packing. Right now."

꧁꧂

Author's Note

Haha, Saint is fine😎...for now.
Anywho, I think this chapter lowkey was kinda to soothe our hearts after all of this shit and I'm here for it😤 We deserve it after everything I put us through.
Baby steps?🤞
Lmk your thoughts and if y'all have analyses on the chapter or sum lmkkk, I love reading those😮‍💨✨
What y'all think about that moment on the stairs tho...