Queen

I wasn't an idiot and I wasn't delusional either. Syn and I both had been with other people, but to bring me here. To a store that his old fucking fling owned— a fling that he had very much still been keeping in contact with and working with.

Jeez.

I was seething.

"You know what?" I set the dresses down, my chest aching as I looked at her. "I'll try on everything in here that's my size. And I'll buy all the bags."

"Oh," she sputtered, surprise all over her features.

I opened my bag and held out his card. "It's his card. Put everything on it. Don't hold back, he insisted and I'm sure you'll do everything in your power to oblige?" She missed the shade as the card filled her vision and she took it into her fingers.

"Of course, Ms. Beverly." She grinned. "I'll
charge the bags and then we can proceed with the clothes."

I gave her only a nod and she strode past me, her blonde hair cascading around her. I crossed my arms. That genuinely hurt more than I wanted it to. And I never considered myself a jealous person before, but I wanted to burn the building down. It's honestly exactly what I should've done if I wanted to make his pockets hurt.

I felt my phone buzz in my purse and I took it out.

Syn.

Speak of the damn devil.

Not right now. I declined the call and silenced my cell phone.

You're being childish. I could hear the better side of me telling me to grow up, but that other half...that one that wanted me to be free of my inhibitions, wanted me to sit in this pain a little bit longer. She wanted me to tear the building down and kill the woman. She was hard to ignore, but I couldn't do that.

A few minutes later, Phoebe came back, a receipt in her hands. It was dragging on the floor as she tried to roll it up and I crossed my arms. "I put one of all the bags in inventory. Here is the receipt."

I took the paper from her hands and she picked up the bit on the floor. "Thanks," I muttered.

"No problem." She held her hands together. "If you'd like to go to the dressing room, I'll bring you everything else." I nodded and she led me back to the hallway where the room was. "Give me ten minutes."

"Okay." I pushed the door open and walked inside. Once I closed the door, I shut my eyes and leaned against it. Relax.

"Shopping until you drop, hm?" I heard the voice and my eyes snapped open to the direction. The last person I wanted to see right now. Syn. He sat on the loveseat adjacent to Paris, his elbows resting on his thighs as he rubbed his hands together. He must've been here because of the money. If an apology was what he wanted, he wasn't getting it. "Are you having a good time?"

"Uh, can I go?" Paris spoke up.

"Yes," Syn replied.

"No," I answered and Syn looked at me curiously before glancing at Paris.

He still stood up and walked toward me. "Sorry. Boss trumps all. Good luck, excuse me."

I stepped aside and he walked out of the room, closing the door. I crossed my arms, my eyes finding their way back to Syn as he sat back in the chair, his navy shirt peeking out from below his dark blazer. He looked good as always, and my body reacted despite my mind sending all types of vulgar remarks his way. The conniving asshole.

I walked to the couch, set my bag down, and took over Paris's old spot. "If you're here about the money, I'll wire it back to you," I said flatly, picking up the glass of wine on the table.

"What are you talking about?"

I held up the receipt and tossed it toward him. "Is that not why you're here?" It landed on his lap and he picked it up, absentmindedly folding it as he looked at me.

"It has nothing to do with money...I gave it to you to spend it. I'm here because before you left you told me you wished that I could come with you. I pushed all my meetings into an hour so that I could be here," he said. "Was I wrong to come?"

"You were." I kept my eyes glued to the glass table ahead.

"Is something wrong?"

I downed the drink and reached for the bottle. "Nopeee," I popped my lips. "Everything is perfect."

He took the bottle from my hand before I could pour it. "What's the problem then?"

"Can I have that back?"

"You don't even like red wine, Queen," he said.

"Well look at that," I said. "You thought you knew me and I thought I knew you. I guess we're both sorely disappointed today."

"What?" His brows furrowed.

"I like red wine."

"I don't give a fuck about the wine, Queen," he said lowly. "If you suddenly like it, I don't give a shit. What I do care about is the reason why your attitude has suddenly gone to shit. If I've done something wrong, then tell me. You had no problem being honest about your feelings earlier. Where did that openness suddenly go?"

"To shit, I guess."

The door opened and Phoebe walked in, pulling a rack of clothes behind her. When her eyes landed on Syn, she immediately stood up straight and adjusted her hair. Fucking perfect. I looked over at Syn whose eyes were still on me before he glanced up at her for a brief second. "Phoebe. Hello."

"Mr. SinClaire. It's good to see you," I heard her say and I rolled my eyes. Syn nodded at her and his eyes moved back to me. "Ms. Beverly, I brought up a selection of clothes. Once you try these, I will bring up the rest."

"Thank you, Phoebe," Syn spoke up, his voice stern. "Please excuse us and don't bring anything else up until I call you."

"Yes, sir." She scurried out of the room and closed the door, leaving us alone again.

"Now," he started and I cut him off.

"Do you have a thing for blondes?" Because we were three and out now. I included Xyla. I hadn't seen him fuck or date anyone that remotely resembled me now that I thought about it. And as stupid as it was, that didn't feel good.

His brows tightened as he looked at me. "What?"

"You just seem to have a type, Syn," I muttered, staring down at the glass.

"Queen," he said, setting the bottle down and moving beside me on the couch. "I don't have the energy to go back and forth today and neither do you. Make both of our lives easier and just tell me why you're so upset. Please."

I could feel my walls weakening as he looked at me and I shook my head softly. "I can't read your mind," he said. "You know this. If you keep this up, I'll just start believing you like arguing with me. If that's what it is let me know and I will happily comply." He looked at me, waiting, and when I still didn't say anything, he nodded. "Fine."

He sat back and rested his arm on the back of the couch as he looked me up and down. "I don't like how you left your robe on the floor in the closet. And...you didn't pick up your phone when I called you. That makes you messy and irresponsible and I don't like either one. I don't like you."

"You don't like me but you're with me?" I played along. I felt a smile tug at my restraint as my eyes watered. I knew he'd never intentionally hurt me...but it still did hurt.

"See how stupid this shit is?" He rubbed his temples. "I can't even pretend to be upset at you for anything. It's hard. And I know it's hard for you to be mad at me, so why even try? It'd be so much easier for you to just talk to me. You've been brave all day, don't stop now."

I took a deep breath and sat back. "You slept with the woman who owns this store?"

"Huh?" He said loudly, sitting up and I raised my brows. He looked genuinely confused by that. "Phoebe?"

"Unless there's another woman...then yes."

He looked at me for a moment before squinting his eyes in thought. "No. At least I don't think—" He paused, clicking his tongue. "Oh. Yes, I did..."

He still had a faraway look on his face as if he was still thinking about it and I shoved his shoulder. "You're seriously thinking about it right now?"

"Yes," he said, confused by my reaction before realizing what he had said. "Not about the sex, but about when exactly it was...You're going to have to give me a second if you want me to remember something that happened more than a decade ago."

I faltered a bit at that. "A decade ago?"

"I think I was...nineteen, maybe," he said. "I was at some party with Xavier. He was interested in her friend and she was interested in me, I think? One thing led to another and we fucked in the bathroom of a bar..." He looked down at me. "Is that what you're referring to?"

"It would've been fine if you just said it was a decade ago," I muttered and he gave me an apologetic smile. "The way she made it sound, you two are rekindling something."

"Oh, no. Never."

"Yet she's the owner of a business you invest in."

"Purely a coincidence," he answered. "I have an accountant that invests in up-and-coming businesses in the Underworld. I didn't even know she was the owner until recently."

"She named the store after you."

"I genuinely didn't realize." He frowned. "We're in the Underworld. You'll find two or three places named 'Sin' on every block. People aren't very creative."

"She says you've been good to her. Those were her exact words," I continued.

"She was probably talking about my money," he said. "I haven't had any other contact with her, especially not sexual."

"She has your number."

He tilted his head. "Because I called the store before you and Paris arrived?"

"When you personally requested she help me shop?"

"Do you think I intentionally set her up with you because we fucked?" He asked lowly, an edge in his voice. "She's the owner and she has a good eye. I thought you'd appreciate having someone who knew the store with you. It's five stories— do you not trust me at all?"

Shit...

I closed my eyes, the embarrassment setting in and I heard him sigh. "I apologize for not remembering. But that happened a lifetime ago. I told Paris to bring you here because I thought you'd like it," he said. "I thought above all people, you'd be the one to give me some grace if you suspected something, Queen. You should've just asked me."

I looked back up at him and there was nothing but hurt looking back at me. It killed me. "Syn, I'm so—"

His phone rang in his pocket and he pulled it out and answered, looking away from me. After a few seconds of speaking into the phone, he set it back into his pocket and stood up. "You're forgiven, as always."

"Syn—" He bent down and placed a kiss on my lips before pulling away. "Can we talk for a second?"

He ran a hand through his hair. "I came here for you, Queen. I've been here wanting to talk to you but instead of answering, you wanted to ignore me."

"I'm sorry."

"For which part?"

"All of it." I stood up.

"And I've forgiven you."

"But you're still mad."

"Of course, I'm still mad. That's how feelings work, right? Just because I happen to be the one who always tries to fix our issues doesn't mean I'm made of steel. I am angry— I'm pissed. But above all else, I'm fucking hurt, Queen," he said. "The entire world already thinks so little of me. And none of it mattered if you were the one person who— I guess I'm sorry for putting that pressure on you." He ran a hand through his hair and glanced down at his watch. "I need to go."

He headed for the door and I spoke up again, "Syn, please wait."

He turned back around. "Queen. I love you. I've apologize for not remembering, and I forgive you for thinking the worst. Can I go now?"

Tears pricked my eyes at his clipped voice. All I could do in that moment was nod and he nodded a couple of times before walking right out the door.

It sunk in immediately at that moment that he had given me a chance to stop him...

And I had done nothing.

I let him go.

I sunk back into the couch and buried my hands into my hair. I messed up big time and this was the first time I'd ever seen Syn so disappointed with me. I assumed the worst of him even though deep down I knew he'd never do something like this. I just let my thoughts get the best of me.

"Okay, that was bad..." I lifted my head and Paris entered the room.

"You heard?"

"Unfortunately." Great. Another witness to my idiocy.

"Are you here to rub it in?"

"No," he said and took a seat next to me. "I was downstairs and on his way out he told me to stay with you."

That only made me feel worse. Amid his anger, he was still looking out for me. Ugh. "I seriously fucked up."

"Yes, you did." He reached down to the side of the couch and lifted a bouquet of sunflowers. "I guess now would be a bad time to say he got these for you..."

My eyes watered and I bit back a sob. "Really bad time, Paris."

He winced and set them down beside me carefully. "Are you going to cry again? Please don't—"

I shook my head quickly and stood up. I fanned my eyes. "No, no more crying. I need to fix this." I thought for a moment until I realized I had no idea what to do.

"What are you going to do?" He asked me.

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," I glanced at him and paused. "Paris, you're a man, aren't you?" He crossed his arms, a look of annoyance flashing across his face and I sat down beside him. "What do I do?"

"It would be cheating if I told you," he whispered and I sighed. "He's just hurt, Queen. Stop thinking of him as some man whose feelings you hurt and think of him as someone you genuinely love. He's in pain because the one person he adores more than anything in this world hurt him...What do you think it is that he truly wants right now?"

I thought for a moment, but my answer didn't make sense. "Me?"

"Obviously."

Was that true?

"He left, though."

He shrugged. "I'm sure you've also left when all you wanted was for him to make you stay. Right?"

I nodded slowly before looking at him. "Why are you single?"

He deadpanned. "Don't you think you should finish shopping?"

"For what?"

"The dinner is still tonight," he said.

"You think he still wants me to go?" I asked him genuinely. He may have heard what Syn said, but he didn't see his eyes.

"Did you listen to nothing I said?" He asked. "Not going won't make up for anything. It'll be tense, but if you don't go you'll only be prolonging the inevitable and being a coward."

"So I should go..." I nodded slowly.

"No shit. Get a move on, woman."

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