Syn

I looked at her, my mouth unintentionally parting. I was shocked. There wasn't exactly a beginner's guide to dealing with resurrected succubi fiancés. But if there was, I doubt there'd be a subsection on sex. Second thought, there might be.

Regardless, I had to navigate this myself.

"Are you sure you're not confusing the two?" I finally asked her and she bit the side of her lower lip as she scanned me from head to toe. My eyes flicked to her lips and my throat went dry. I wanted nothing more than to say fuck it all and bury myself in her.

My entire body screamed for it actually. It was the reason why I stood up to get food.

I just needed a minute to get myself together. She was making me lose my mind.

How could I not lose it when she was telling me that I was enough and she was glad to belong to me...completely?

She always did, but there was no way out anymore. No escape. And that was okay with her.

Even if I couldn't give her anything else but me and that alone, she was happy with it.

Before I met her I never imagined hearing those words from anyone or saying them myself. Relationships were business and sex was transactional. I never did anything without getting something from it and nobody did anything for me without wanting something.

But here she was in front of me saying forget everything else.

She refused to add another scar to my already marred body because she loved me so much...I couldn't deal.

There was a brief moment where I thought I'd never hear her voice again, see her eyes waiting for a response from me like this again. Almost everyone thought I had lost it. I was beginning to believe I had as well, but I held out. I would've held out forever if I needed to.

Reality and my imagination could collide into each other until the only place I saw her was in my dreams, and I'd be happy.

Insanity would be a welcome acquaintance.

"Is the hospital gown throwing you off?" She asked me, frowning as she undid the tie on the back of her neck. "I'll take it off."

"Queen," I warned her but she let the garment slip down her arms and cast it aside. I averted my eyes, clearing my throat. She needed rest. Not sex. We had all the time in the world when she was back to full health.

"Syn," she mocked me. "What? You don't want to?"

"It's not that."

"Then?" She tilted her head, catching my eye and I sighed.

"I want you to heal."

"Well, if you took your eyes off my face and looked anywhere else, you'd see that I am healed," she said, shifting to sit on her heels. I heard her wince when she moved her arm and I raised a brow. Healed? She rubbed the aching spot on her arm. "To be fair this one is from you and all the needles."

Still.

I grabbed the hospital gown from the floor where she let it fall and held it out for her, my eyes glued to hers. She frowned, amusement still dancing in her eyes as she took it from my hand. The moment I took a step away to put some distance between us, she grabbed my hoodie and tugged. Pulling me back.

I sighed, flush against the hospital bed and she grinned, rising on her knees. Her body pressed against mine, her lips only inches away. My eyes scanned her beautiful face before settling on her dark eyes and her fingers moved to the zipper of my jacket. My hand covered hers in a feeble attempt to stop her and her eyes searched mine.

"If you want me to stop because you genuinely don't want this, tell me. You know I'll stop," she said. "But if it's because you think I'm not ready...I'm not willing to accept that as an excuse."

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I wanted her. Just as badly as she wanted me. But she'd been through a lot already and I didn't trust myself not to hurt her even more.

With no response from me, her lips pressed together into a smile-- her dimples showing. I couldn't help but smile back. She was getting to me and I was less than a second away from giving in as she lowered the zipper. Her fingers grazed the hem of my jeans, bringing my attention to the pain in my pants. I was hard. Painfully so, but how selfish would I be if I thought of myself before her?

Her fingers moved down my chest to my stomach, her fingers learning the new scars Aiden had given me. It was her, and I was by no means insecure about anything. But it wasn't a pretty sight.

There were a couple of things I didn't want to look at myself much let her see further. That alone gave me the little bit of strength I needed to take a step back. Which in itself was a horrible idea as her eyes fell to my abdomen again.

I suddenly felt a little bit too exposed and zipped up my jacket. I laughed, trying to break the tension as I shook my head. "You're too weak right now, Princess."

Her eyes floated back to my eyes and she sighed. "Too weak to beg for it? Yes. But not too weak to take it, I assure you." I tilted my head at her and she paused. "Unless you want me to? Beg?"

Something in me went crazy at her words. My cock stiffened even more than I thought possible at the moment and a noise erupted from my throat. Something between a groan and me trying to clear my throat.

"You never have to beg for anything."

In all seriousness.

"I'm damn near begging now," she exclaimed. "I am literally on my knees."

I laughed a bit at her pent-up frustration but caught myself. "You will never have to beg for anything that's good for you at the current time of said begging," I rephrased.

She nodded slowly, appearing to understand and my chest ached. I hated denying her anything, but this was for the best. "So..food?" She was watching me intently, but the look on her face was blank. Like my words were flying over her head.

I felt a tugging in my head, then in my gut. A soft pull drew me to her and a rumble of laughter left my chest. "Are you trying to compel me right now?"

She toyed with her hair and shrugged a shoulder. "However could I possibly do such a thing? I thought I was too weak?"

Fuck it. I couldn't hold myself back anymore.

"You become so...eloquent when you lie." I smiled as I took a step toward her and she glanced at me.

"Okay. I tried and failed. And I accept the loss," she rambled, scooting backward as I moved toward her. "All's well that ends well. I'm sorry."

I placed a palm on the bed-- one on either side of her and my eyes trailed down her body. Her throat worked as she swallowed a breath and my eyes moved down, taking in the swell of her breast. Just fucking perfect.

"Okay, now you're making me nervous."

"How so?" I kept looking, my eyes lingering on her light grey panties. Her thighs pressed together as she laughed softly and she moved back, sitting on her butt. Wrong choice if she intended to get away from me. I grabbed her calf, pulling her to me and she yelped. "How am I looking at you?"

I spread her legs with my hand, my other sliding down to her cotton panties. When I felt them my eyes followed, my dick lunging--wanting a taste, and I sucked in a sharp breath. So goddamn wet. "Hm?" I reminded her of my question as I dipped a finger past the soaked material. "Answer me. How am I looking at you that's made you shy all of a sudden? You were so bold a few seconds ago."

She was breathless. Swallowing a breath and licking her lips before giving me an answer.

"You're looking at me like I'm going to need a safe word this time."

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