Queen

I kept a safe distance away from her, circling her both in shock and slight curiosity. She eyed me in return. Not with the same peculiar fascination that I did, but with boredom and a hint of amusement. "How are you not freaking out right now?" I asked her. "This is a really trippy dream."

"Not a dream." She crossed her arms and took a seat on the swing. "Just your subconscious. And I'm not as starstruck as you are because I've been here. With you, since we were born. I've just been...in somewhat of a deep sleep. That's the best way I can put it."

"Wow." I crouched down in front of her and studied her face-- my face. Dark chocolate almond-shaped eyes, dark lashes, defined brows with the same familiar birth marks laying on her caramel skin-- one above her lip, the other faint above her left cheekbone. It was me. I saw the same reflection every day, but this felt different. The insecurities I had weren't ones I could see on her. Hmm. If this was what Syn saw...I could understand why he was so in love.

I reached out, touching her face. My fingers trailed along her soft, dark pink lips and a slow, teasing smile spread across them. "Do you want to fuck me?" I heard her say. I immediately dropped my hand, giving her a disgusted look. She raised her brows and shrugged. "Why not? It's not like anyone would know. Besides," she leaned forward, hooking a finger into the neckline of my top, "I know what you like."

"Haha, that doesn't seem incestuous at all." I deadpanned and stood back up.

"We're not sisters," she reminded me, dropping her hand back to her lap. "I am you, and you are me. If you've touched yourself, then you've touched me. But now if I touch you back..." she licked her lips, batting her lashes up at me, "that would be a problem?"

"Uh, yeah." I wrapped my arms around myself and took a step back. The way she was looking at me had to be illegal. If Syn saw it, he'd snap her neck. Or would he...I didn't know how that math worked in this situation.

She stood up and my eyes unintentionally skirted down the rest of her body. I was stunned again. I was no better than a man. Suffice to say it-- I was curious and what other opportunity would I have to satiate said curiosity. "Weird question, but can I touch you?"

She seemed taken aback for a brief second before holding her arms out. "Feel free."

I took her hand and flipped it. Palm upward. The hand which only moments ago seemed mundane moments ago began to turn black at her fingertips. It continued down, painting her hand a deep inky color. At her wrist, it disbursed into small lines, like veins up to her forearm. I felt something sharp graze my wrist and I snapped my eyes away from the lines. Her nails had grown into claws as dark as night, just like her hand. "What are you?" I whispered in awe.

She smiled. "A part of you that's been inert for far too long."

I furrowed my brows. "You're not from Lilith," I said slowly, the reminder of her making my heart hurt for a moment. Being in here made me forget why exactly I ended up here in the first place. I withdrew my hand from hers, immediately missing the warmth. But I needed to regain my focus. "You say you've been with me since I was born, but Lilith just died..."

"Well, not from Lilith. But because of Lilith, I'm here with you," she said, further confusing me. "I've always been here-- an intrusive thought, a whisper urging you to give in...but when you killed her..." her words trailed on.

She wasn't from Lilith's dark magic. She was here, in my subconscious because I killed my mother. Someone who loved me..

Putting two and two together, I found my words and spoke, "You're a succubus."

She winced. "That has to be a slur." She sighed. "But for lack of better words, yes. You are."

"Me?"

"You should learn to stop separating us," she said. "We are one, Queen. The part of yourself that you try to suppress and control all the time...I'm that, personified. You're just finally able to see me for who I am. You."

"Ah." I crossed my arms. "Are you also the one responsible for my low self-esteem and negative thoughts?"

"No, that's all you," she said simply. Much to my disappointment. "If you accepted me, wholly," she whispered, looking me up and down, "you'd never feel that way again. We're incapable of feeling or thinking about things like that. You'll learn that soon enough if you embrace it. Don't try to control or hide me."

"Or what?" I challenged.

She smiled that smile again, tilting her head. "That wasn't a threat, Queen. But you'll give yourself a headache trying to inhibit me...yourself. Just like your body yearns for the air to breathe. How your blood needs your heart..." Her fingers moved my hair over my shoulders. "I need liberation...in all ways."

I ignored the sexual double entendre in her words and shook my head. As inscrutable as this was, I had bigger things to deal with. Bigger fish, per se.

"I have to go."

She pouted, feigning innocence. "What happened to touching me? Did my hand scare you?" A sharp claw slowly moved along my collarbone. "You've never seen a demon in its true form, have you?"

No, I hadn't. It was a disappointing thought considering I reigned in Hell for so long, but it was true. Demons happened to like their human forms, even while they were in Hell. Even in the pit, they liked to either be in those bodies or some manifestation for whomever they were torturing.

"I'm going to assume that's a no," she eyed me for a few seconds before laughing softly. "Why am I acting so aloof? I know you haven't. But don't you wonder?" She questioned. "How it would be to have Syn in his true form? Unrestrained?...Uninhibited?"

"I..." I was at a loss for words. It wasn't something I had ever thought about.

"Hm." She dropped her hand. "Maybe he doesn't want to scare you. We're not exactly...aesthetically pleasing to the untrained eye." She quoted with her fingers. "Or so I've heard. But in my opinion, Angels are much more displeasing to look at. Yet we Underworld creatures are the monstrosities."

I didn't want my thoughts to linger here any longer, but I couldn't stop thinking about what she said about Syn. Maybe he doesn't want to scare you...That couldn't be true. He knew I loved him and I was the last person to run scared. But then...if that was all true; why hadn't I seen it?

She snickered a bit and sat on the swing. "As much as I enjoy making you second guess everything. You need to leave. You're in danger."

Right.

"Lilith's power," I finally spoke up. "Do you know how I can control it?"

I didn't feel any different yet. But if everything she said was true, it was going to hit me like a train. I wanted to be at least a little bit prepared for when I woke up.

"That's your problem. You want to control everything that you don't understand," she said. "Free yourself from the shackles of 'Should I..' and 'What if..' and just, be. Just do what feels right and everything else will follow. Stop thinking so much."

I scoffed. That was easy for her to say. I was the one that had to bear the consequences. And if I did what she said and just gave in, I'd become someone else completely. Somebody that wouldn't be able to look themselves in the mirror. Someone like...

"Lilith?" she asked, completing the thought for me.

"I'm not going to let myself turn into my mother over this."

"You need to trust yourself."

"I do. It's the magic I don't trust."

"This darkness, the magic...it is you. It courses through its host but all it does is heighten the person you truly are. Lilith, may she rest in peace; was a shit person until the last ten minutes of her life. So, of course, she was a raging, psychotic bitch when she took Lucifer's power. But we are not her. She only had to control it because it was forcing her to be who she was inside all along. With you, it'll be different. It will be a good thing if you let it. It can make us closer too, you know?"

She told me the last part as if it should have been the thing that made it all worth it and I laughed. Maybe she was right..but could I trust her? Could I trust myself?

"If you want anything good in this life, you'll have to learn to," she answered. Of course, she could read my thoughts. "I would never do or tell you to do anything that would hurt us...unless we're into that?" She raised a suggestive brow.

"No."

"Ugh, you've been so vanilla. It pains me," she said before waving her hand. "Your trauma has been restraining you and Syn, I understand. I will fix it, no worries."

"First of all. I am not," I defended. "Second, you will do no such thing."

"You forget, I am you." She whispered. "All your desires and dirty kinks are now my fantasies. And I told you, I want to be liberated. In every. Single. Way. So I will do such things. It's for the greater good."

Before I could argue, she spoke up again, "Anyway, keep us alive, will you?" She winked, blowing me a kiss and my eyes fluttered shut. I felt my body fall backward for a few moments before I was thrust forward and my eyes shot open.

I gasped, struggling to catch my breath as if I'd had a nightmare. Everything looked the same in the cabin, the destruction left from the struggle around me, and my arms heavy with...I couldn't look down. Not right now, not ever again. As much as her last moments ripped me apart, it would be all the tears she'd get from me.

And that was okay...I assured myself as I removed myself from her lifeless body. Blood soaked my shirt and jeans, sticking to me like a second skin and I swallowed a breath.

I was a mess.

I peeked around the dining table, half-expecting to see Aiden still sprawled out on the floor, but not being surprised that the spot was now empty. Shit. I stayed quiet, crawling around the dining table. He couldn't be that far. Knowing how sadistic the bastard was, he was somewhere just past the shadows waiting for me to let my guard down.

My eyes darted across the dark living room, and down the hall that led down to the basement. Empty. The front door couldn't be more than twenty feet away from me. I could make a run for it. But how far could I go before the barrier stopped me?

I could hide, sure. But for how long? I was sure he didn't have anything better to do. He'd spend all night searching for me if he had to.

There was still another almost twenty hours until Syn...Syn. I cringed at the sudden reminder of him and his words. Be safe. Don't get yourself killed. Wait for me...If only he could see the cluster-fuck I'd managed to get myself into. I winced. He wouldn't let me hear the end of it if I didn't make it out of this alive. He'd torment my soul in Hell for the rest of eternity.

So, for the sake of peace, Saint, and him, I needed to just...survive. I could manage, I think.

I had to just think.

Aiden was faster than me- if I ran he'd catch me. Stronger by a long shot- if I fought he'd overpower me. From what I gathered this far, he was infinitely smarter too. He was calculated. Planned everything two, sometimes three steps ahead. The only reason Lilith managed to get him was because he didn't see it coming...

"Okay..." I whispered to myself. Okay.

I moved back to where Lilith lay and adjusted myself behind her once again. It felt disrespectful. To be using her like this when she should've been resting in peace, but I needed her. One final time.

I closed my eyes, willing my pulse to return steady. The quick pitter patter became a dull thumping and I focused on that as I let my head fall forward. My shoulders slumped in tangent, my body becoming heavy and I remained still.

Minutes passed before I heard footsteps come down the stairs. One followed by another until they stopped, just a few feet away. I could feel his burning eyes on me and I was suddenly thankful for the hair that had fallen into my face. It provided a little bit of a shield from his stare.

My scalp prickled, the hairs on my body coming to a stand as he got closer. I felt him crouch, less than a couple feet away from me and his hand met my thigh. I resisted the urge to flinch away from his touch and kept up the ruse. He wasn't close enough and his guard was nowhere near down. He was observing me.

His fingers trailed to my cheek and he pushed my hair behind my ear, taking away my shield. His other hand moved to my jaw and he tilted my head up. I bit my tongue hard enough to draw blood. If he kissed me, I wouldn't stay still. I'd rather die first. He sighed and his breath hit my cheek. "We would be so happy if you were always this...compliant."

Sick fuck.

He moved closer, inhaling before letting out a shuddered breath. "Things didn't have to be this way, Queen. They all could've lived if you just...accepted the way things are supposed to be. But now I'll have to kill them all."

Fuck it. He was close enough.

I grabbed the knife from Lilith's side and slashed it across his throat within the same second. His blood splattered across my face, the pungent, rotten scent making my lips curl in disgust. He stared at me, shock and surprise painted on his face as he lifted his hand to his throat.

He staggered back on his heels and I stood up, knife in hand. I wiped my face with the back of my hand, trying my hardest to ignore it but that smell. It took me aback. It smelled like rotten flesh that had been left out in a hot car. All summer.

To say it was just nauseating was a compliment.

He groaned, reeling on the floor for a few moments before becoming abnormally still. He wasn't dead. I wasn't stupid enough to believe he was, but he was definitely trying to fool me.

Instead of letting my guard down, I lifted the knife once again to stab him.

He grabbed the blade before I could make contact, the blood pouring from his hand not having any effect on him. He laughed. "Did that make you feel better? Can we sit down and have a civilized conversation now?"

I strengthened my grip on the knife and kicked him in the chest. He fell backwards, letting out a shriek of laughter and I bolted away from him.

His hand wrapped around my ankle and I fell to the floor face first. The knife clattered away from me as I reeled in pain and I felt him crawl up behind me. His hand moved up the back of my thigh with a death grip. I kicked against him, but he held me in place with a knee against my back. "I can't say I'm not enjoying this, Queen. But my patience is wearing thin."

His hand moved up my back to my neck and he fisted my hair. He placed a wet kiss on the back of my neck and I gagged audibly. There was no use hiding it anymore. He paused at the noise. It must've pissed him off because his breathing became shaky against my neck. "Maybe I haven't given you a reason to be afraid yet, hmm?"

His finger circled the hem of my jeans and he whispered a few words into the air between us. I didn't know just what it was until I felt the gravity shift. A ton of weight, its magnitude unknown pressed me into the ground and I was frozen. Again. I felt the suffocating onset of panic as he flipped me onto my back.

There was a crazed look in his eyes. Like he was a second away from snapping on me. It was one I'd seen before as his eyes flashed a quick shade of brown before turning green again. It was quick, but my eyes caught it.

The rage, the curiosity, the half-crazed yet manic gaze...those eyes. Brown- unmemorable like most. But why did it set my skin on fire? Why did memories of a man with another face suddenly flash across my mind?

A question I pondered earlier crossed my mind again. Which time were you? He smiled as I became complacent, his sweaty hands moving down my hip as my mind raced. Then his eye twitched.

That eye twitch.

Then suddenly I knew the answer to that question.

And it wasn't just the one time he admitted to.

Something broke in me as I saw him for what he truly was. Behind the mask, behind Syn's face and all the ones he wore, he was a sick bastard with a nasty eye twitch. One that he couldn't hide despite whose skin he draped himself in.

A numbness began to crawl up my body, starting from the soles of my feet. It was dark, all-encompassing, and it terrified me, but I welcomed it. It clouded my mind, sending a million horrifying thoughts and images through my head.

A familiar energy- snaked with something foreign began to build in my gut as he spoke. It was cold and empty, fighting the warmth in me. But it was comfortable, in a way. It reminded me of Syn.

I let myself slip into the void, the cold. And I felt Aiden shake my body. "What have you done?!" I heard him growl.

I wasn't exactly sure what he meant, but suddenly, everything in me became still. That weight that held me like a magnet to the ground was lifted, and I snapped my eyes open.

"Queen!" He stared at me, distraught as his eyes searched my face. "What the hell have you done?!" He snarled. His hand wrapped around my wrist tight as he looked at my arm and I caught sight of the dark lines.

Whatever I had just invited- no, accepted into me...had taken root. And my eyes shut.

꧁꧂