⚠️This chapter contains mentions of child abuse and self-harm. Viewer discretion is advised.⚠️

Queen

I sunk into the chair behind me as Syn's voice sounded in my ears. A warmth filled me- the defensive wall in my chest breaking down as I began sobbing. This was him. I couldn't pinpoint exactly how I knew, but I felt it. There was nothing in my mind begging me to dissect anything— it was just him.

"I'll give you two minutes to cry," he said. "But then you need to stop because it's hurting me, okay?"

Okay. I sniffled, speechless and unable to find the words to say to him. It couldn't have been more than a few days— at least for me, but it felt like an eternity had passed here without him.  All the stress and confusion I had been holding in these past few days along with what Lilith's revelation meant to me was let go. Just at the sound of his voice.

"I'm here, Princess," he said calmly. "Just breathe." My chest heaved— anxiety crawling through my veins, but I let out a labored breath at his request. "Oh, come on. I know you can give me better than that," he told me. "Breathe in— I won't be satisfied until I hear you almost cough on that breath. Do that for me."

I took a deep breath, feeling my lungs expand until I couldn't take in any more air. "Good. Now let it out," he instructed. I let it out in a long shaky breath, my eyes closed. "Again." I followed his instructions. Again, and then another time until my panic was replaced with a numb feeling.

"Don't leave me yet," he said, pulling me back to him. "Talk to me."

I sniffled. "You heard?"

"I did," he replied and I ran a hand past my hair. I never talked to Syn about Sebastian. Besides what he knew from just being there, I never expanded on it. I wasn't ready to. Syn was possibly the strongest person I'd ever known and although I wasn't afraid to be vulnerable with him, this felt different.

Sebastian hurt me in a way I wasn't sure I'd ever forget and I couldn't admit that to Syn— he wouldn't understand. He'd hate that the memory was still fresh in my mind and that there was nothing he could do to change that. It didn't mean that I didn't love him or wanted Sebastian, but I wasn't prepared for Syn to think that was the case. "It's okay, I'm okay now." I wiped my cheeks. "Besides this isn't the time anyway—"

"You're hurt now," he said lowly. "This is a better time than any. If you're just not ready, tell me that. I can wait as long as you need me to. Just know that you can tell me anything."

A tear fell down my cheek and I nodded. "I know."

"I know I don't talk much about my past either," he said. "But I need you to know you can talk to me about yours. I'm going to tell you something I've never told anyone- not even Xavier."

"What is it?"

"When I was younger— in the palace. My mother was banished and I was under Julius's thumb for a while. He wasn't very nice, but his punishments were always predictable," he said flatly. "There was a woman- very nice, I thought. She was a servant tasked with bringing me my one meal every other day...her name was— it doesn't matter. I just remember her always being so...nice when no one else was. She'd clean my wounds, bring me books...sneak snacks and pastries for me through this little slot in the door. It went on for maybe a few months or so until I was twelve.

"Then she started coming in with the snacks. I didn't think much of it, I liked the company and I trusted her but it was never just company," he said and I felt a chill run through my body. "It started as touching me here and there— her excuse being that she wanted to make sure I was okay everywhere." He paused and I could feel deep down inside me how hard this was for him to tell me. I could feel his pain- his confusion and anger as he recounted the memory and my heart ached.

"Syn, you don't have to..."

"I do," he said. "Just listen." I bit my tongue, holding back my feelings, and let him continue. "The touching turned into her kissing me and before I knew it we were having sex— if that's what you could even call it. I hardly ever ate, I was always dehydrated and there were days that went by before I realized that I had been just staring at a fucking wall. I was in no state to decide that that's what I wanted— I didn't want it. I hated every second of it all, but every time I spoke up and told her to stop, I'd be reminded of what the world thought of me. No one would believe me anyway.

"So I just let it happen. Sometimes I'd cut myself just so that she'd be sympathetic enough to just...leave me alone. I'd pee the bed and not bother cleaning up in hopes that she'd be disgusted, but she never was and it never stopped. The worst part of it all was that I didn't understand any of it. All I remember is the confusion and the betrayal."

"Syn, I'm so sorry," I sobbed, guilt stabbing at me for every time I joked or inquired about him telling me about his first time. That couldn't have felt good for him.

"I didn't tell you this for you to pity me, Queen," he said. "I only want you to know that me— in all my powerful glory." He let out a bitter laugh. "...knows what it's like to have your freedom of choice be taken from you- the helplessness of it, I've been there. You can shut out the rest of the world, but not me- I need you to let me in."

I nodded, wiping away my tears. "Who was she?"

He was silent for a long moment and I waited anxiously. "Does it matter to you?"

"No," I said quickly. "Yes— I just want to know."

He laughed softly although I could hear the sad edge in it. "Why? Will you kill her?"

"She's not dead already?!"

"I have no idea."

That was a surprise to me. Most of the people that hurt Syn didn't live long enough to even brag to the next person. He was quick about things like that so it came as a shock to me that the person that there was a chance that the person who hurt him this deeply may have still been alive.

"Can I ask why you haven't made sure she is?"

He sighed. "Because a long time ago— before she ever even touched me in that way...I made her a promise that when I was old enough I'd free her from Julius. Kill her," he said. "Her still being alive and suffering is punishment enough— and if she has passed, oh well. I can live with both."

"There were plenty of servants in that palace, Syn," I said. "Are you not telling me her name because I'd know her?"

"I'm not telling you her name because I know you," he whispered. "You're going to stay up all night searching that beautiful mind of yours for any interaction we might have had with her and wonder if there were any signs you might've missed."

"She was that close?!"

He chuckled deeply. "Don't worry about it, okay? It was a long time ago."

I frowned. "I am going to worry about it because I love you. If she's still living, I'm going to find the whore, skin her alive, and make her wish she'd never been born."

"Oh, that does sound intriguing," he whispered.

"Syn."

"I miss you," he said, clearly wanting to change the subject and I forced myself to calm down. He had already told me more than I ever thought he would— I didn't want to push.

"I miss you too," I answered. "I wish you were here."

"Oh, yeah?" He asked and I smiled. "What would you do?"

"Oh, no!" I cringed, laughing into my hand and his chuckle rumbled through the phone. "You're taking me back to high school with that one."

"Good," he said. "I'll never forgive you for not being there earlier. We could've had six kids by now but you just chose to be born so late, Princess. It's heartbreaking."

"You're a mess."

"And you love me," he whispered.

"In spite of it," I teased.

"Because of it," he corrected me. "And I love you for the mess that you are as well."

I smiled, biting the inside of my cheek. "We're going to be okay?"

"We're going to be fucking amazing," he responded. "Where do you see yourself in ten years?"

"What type of question..." I whispered, glancing at the door.

"Just answer."

"With you," I said. I didn't have to think twice about the answer to that.

"That's a boring answer, Princess. Of course, you're going to be with me."

"Fine, what's your answer?" I sat back. "Where does the devil see himself in a decade?"

"Hmm." He hummed. "Okay. In ten years, you will be my wife...barefoot and pregnant with our third- maybe fourth child. You'll have asked for a divorce once, maybe twice but you throw that out there quite a few times in anger—and I ignore you because you're a pain in the ass and you don't leave me because you're madly in love—"

"Why don't we sound like a happy couple?" I laughed. "That seems depressing."

"Hey, I don't question your fantasies—"

"I don't tell you my fantasies."

"Is that so?" His tone became serious and a flutter ran through me as I bit my lip. "What fantasy haven't you told me?"

I laughed softly, shaking my head. "You have one more day, Syn. Remember?" I reminded him. "If you manage to figure out a way for us to get out of this shit, I'll tell you everything."

"I'm going to hold you to that," he said. "I'll be seeing you tomorrow, Princess."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Oh, hold me to whatever you'd like."

I rolled my eyes at him, knowing the call was coming to an end yet wanting so badly for it to continue just a second longer. This was going to be the longest twenty-four hours of my life. "What was the ten years question for?"

"That was for that depressing ass shit you pulled the other day— Take care of yourself. I wanted so badly to pull you over that balcony and take you over my knee."

My eyes widened, my mouth going slack at his words. An unexpected shiver ran through my body and I shifted in my sit— my dress suddenly feeling way too short as I pulled on it. "Oh," he said lowly. "What was that?"

"What was what?"

"That," he whispered. "You just did it again."

"Did what?" I looked around, amused.

"Shifted in your seat like that," he said and I caught my movement, freezing. "I know you. You do that when you're getting wet."

"I do not!" I denied it. "Are you watching me?"

"Oh, you do." He ignored my question. "Is that one of the fantasies- do you want me to spank you, Princess?"

"I'm going to hang up on you now," I whispered, my cheeks heating with embarrassment.

"I am going to have so much fun with you," he whispered back.

"Leave me alone." I covered my face.

"Never." I heard him laugh at my evident embarrassment one more time before speaking again. "Hang in there until tomorrow for me, Princess; and I will fulfill every single fantasy you've ever thought of. I more than love you— infinitely, forever."

"I more than love you infinitely, too. Always," I said. The line went quiet for a moment- both of us knowing we needed to say goodbye yet neither of us was ready to let the word fall into the air. That made things more real and goodbye meant that we'd be stuck wondering if tomorrow would truly come. "Thank you for calling me, Syn. And thank you for telling me what happened...you didn't have to."

"Thank you for listening," he said. "I intend to be there to listen whenever you're ready too, Queen."

"I love you."

He chuckled. "You already told me that."

"Just in case- it slipped your mind for a second."

"I didn't," he replied. "But I love you back."

"Bye, Syn."

"Tomorrow, Princess," he said. "And be ready because, after that, I don't plan on letting you out of my sight again. I'll chain you to my bed if I have to."

"I could live with that."

"Is that another one?" He gasped. "Do you want me to tie you up?"

"And you're done. Bye!" I hung up before he could say another word and held the phone against my chest. Only he could get me this frazzled and bothered under these conditions. The world could be ending and Syn would tease me like it was just another day.

The phone vibrated against me and I looked down at it before I remembered it wasn't my phone. It was Lilith's— how she had service was still a question to me but I didn't want to invade her privacy. It vibrated once more and I glanced down, catching my nickname and realizing it was meant for me.

Unknown: Keep this phone hidden and silenced, but on you. Paris installed it with its own network so text or call me as you please.
12:36 p.m.

There was the answer to my questions and I held on tightly to the cell phone. It was a tether to the rest of the world- to Syn, that I hadn't had for days. I needed it. It lifted a hundred ton weight off my shoulders. I scrolled down, my eyes drifting to the second text, and my breath caught.

Unknown: Also, would you prefer to be tied up with chains or silk, Princess?
12:37 p.m.

꧁꧂

I think we all know who the bitch is and if y'all don't!! y'all betta ask someone in the comments Chile😤cuz we've met her a FEW times. I know her being in so many flashbacks always seemed random...but I hope it makes sense now.

Anyway, this was a sort of sensitive chapter so here's a wellness check for everyone, I love y'all❤️ If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm HERE. I answer EVERYTHING.

Let me know what you thought about the chapters🥹✨