Queen

I lay on my side, staring blankly ahead. My head was throbbing, countless waves of anger, confusion, and pain wreaking havoc on me. Another hit of nausea passed over me and I grabbed the trash can, placing it next to the nightstand. I leaned over the bed as bile rose in my throat again. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I sobbed- trying my hardest to control my breathing.

After a few minutes, the nauseating feeling floated away and I let go of the trash can. I relaxed back into the bed, pulling my knees up to the fetal position as fear tingled through my body. I heard a small noise outside and my head snapped to the window. There were always noises outside— owls, squirrels, the wind pushing tree branches against the window...we were in the fucking woods. My logic knew better and my mind was certain nothing was wrong, but I couldn't shake the feeling.

The only fear that truly paralyzed my mind right now was whether or not Syn was okay. I remembered sitting on the couch earlier, reading a magazine as a cooking show blasted on the television in the background. I was bored, but I was okay.

That was until I went from feeling nothing...to feeling every single negative emotion imaginable.

Crippling fear, guilt, sadness— anger. It came out of nowhere, sending me into a frenzy of screams and sobs. I knew they weren't mine, of course. It had been a long time since I felt him like this, but I recognized the feeling. My mind could still differentiate the foreign pain as one that didn't belong to me, but my heart and body couldn't be rationed with.

I tried calling Syn— I probably tried one hundred times but every call went dead before it even rang. The cell service and Wi-Fi had gone out in the house, leaving me no way of communicating with him or anyone for that matter. I remembered how helpless I felt at that moment— how worried I was. I recalled the panic wrapping its dark claws around my neck— pulling me down a dark hole as I struggled to breathe.

I forced my way through it, taking hoarse breaths to try and calm myself down— but nothing was helping. There was nausea sneaking its way up my body, sending goosebumps up my skin like metallic pins stabbing the inside of my flesh.

I had to run to the bathroom so I didn't throw up everywhere.

I didn't know how long I hovered over the toilet. I just remembered not being able to find the will or the strength to get up. Just like now. I had managed to get myself out of the bathroom, but it was only a switch in placement. I went from the floor to the bed, but nothing changed. I had been laying here just like this for the past hour.

With my cell phone not working, I had only Syn's word to rely on. If something was wrong, he'd let me know. He promised that, and I had to trust that right now. If I didn't—...no, I had to. There was no other alternative.

One more hour, I decided. I'd give him one more hour of trust in his word before I got my ass up and went downstairs to Aiden. I would get Drake's location myself. Knowing I could do that eased the tension in me a bit.

I was alive...there was no physical pain at all—that meant he was safe at least. But when he got home I'd have to grill him about what the hell happened.

Creak.

My eyes snapped to the door from the noise and I stilled, raising my head off the pillow and quietly moving my legs off the bed. My eyes roamed quickly across the room— looking for anything I could use as a weapon, but there was nothing. It was just me. I let the panic and everything I was feeling subside for a moment as I told myself that that was enough to kill whoever the hell this was.

There was another creak in the wood accompanied by a heavy footstep and I sighed as the door began to slowly open. I rose on my feet and walked over to the door quietly, standing behind it. I was ready to swing.

I stepped in tangent with the slow-moving door and when I heard the first couple of steps into the room— I swung. I felt a strong arm wrap around my wrist followed by a deep chuckle and my eyes snapped up to Syn. "Boo." He grinned, his eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Why would you do that shit?!" I hit his chest with my free hand and he burst out into laughter. "It's not funny. I was really scared."

He stopped laughing, a grin remaining on his face as he looked down at me. "I'm sorry." I narrowed my eyes at him, taking my wrist out of his hold and crossing my arms. His apology didn't feel genuine in the slightest but I guess that was to be expected.

"What happened to you today?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" He shrugged out of a navy blue suit jacket and I frowned as I looked at his clothes. He noticed my stare and looked down at his outfit before moving his eyes back to me. "What? I didn't want to come back covered in blood."

"Right...since when do you care about that?" I asked.

He shrugged, tossing his jacket across the room to an empty chair and I frowned. That was unusual. Syn's habit of cleanliness had dwindled a bit over the years from being obsessive to now a nagging concern, but it was still prevalent. Even when we'd thrown our clothes all over the room and fall into bed together— when I woke up, they'd be picked up and neatly folded somewhere or in the washer.

Regardless of all that, whenever he came home— wherever home was at the time...his first step was to kiss me, then immediately walk to the closet and take off his clothes. I knew he always did this because I always watched him. He found it amusing—telling me to go away, but it had become a religious routine for us.

I looked at the jacket, spread across the chair before looking back at Syn. He was stretching and yawning, but other than that— he was completely put together. There wasn't a hair out of place on his head, it was neatly styled back- making the frown on my face deepen. He had a notorious habit of running his hands through his hair- it was a stress thing. But it was what generated the usual tousled look most women sinfully dreamed around running their fingers through.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" He smiled, laying his hands on my waist and pulling me against him. "Did you miss me?"

I placed my hands on his muscular arms, still leaning slightly back to study him. "Are you okay?"

"I'm great." He grinned, leaning closer to my lips and I moved back, placing a hand over his mouth. "What's wrong?" He asked, muffled against my hand.

"What happened today?" I asked. "I could feel you going through a whole bunch of shit...but you look fine. I mean- different, but you look like nothing happened."

He raised a brow, looking at me like I was losing my mind and I frowned. "You could feel me..." He shook his head, not understanding. "And what do you mean different? Are you alright?" He placed the back of his hand over my forehead and I rolled my eyes. "All I did was clean myself up, Queen. I showered."

"Your hair is dry, Syn." I pushed his hand away and he scrunched his brows— giving me a look of disbelief.

I didn't like the way he was looking at me- like I was crazy or overthinking things. Maybe I was, but Syn wasn't one to let me know it. He'd give in to my delusions a little bit— teasing and joking his way out of whatever questions I had unloaded on him. But he wasn't doing that right now. If anything...he looked slightly annoyed.

"Because I dried it..." he whispered before letting out a small laugh.

Huh? "You dried your hair?" I asked and he rolled his eyes.

See, there weren't a lot of things in this world I knew about— my intuition was fucked and I had more than my fair share of consequences for that. I didn't even consider myself smart in most aspects— especially not with Syn. There were things about him I had no idea about and maybe I'd never know...but because of that, I studied his visible traits and habits like a fucking maniac.

And he was acting weird right now. I wasn't crazy.

"Queen, please. I'm tired and all I've been thinking about all day...is coming home and getting into bed with you," he said. "Yes, I dried my hair. What does it matter—"

"Dried it with what?" I kept up and he let go of me. He walked past me to the dresser and removed his tie. The closet was less than two feet away from him yet he was undressing here. I hated how obsessive I was acting over the small detail. Like him, I missed him all day too, and wanted nothing more than to get in bed. My head just wouldn't let my tongue rest with the questions his actions were provoking within me. "And you felt nothing today?" I asked again, walking closer to him until I was a couple of feet away. "I was fine, Syn. Then out of nowhere, I felt all this shit! I had a panic attack, then threw up—"

"You threw up?" He interrupted, tensing as he glanced at me in the mirror.

"And I've been depressed all—"

He turned to face me. "You threw up," he said again, crossing his arms. "Are you pregnant?"

"What?" I looked at him in confusion. "I tell you that I had a panic attack and severe depression out of thin air and you only ask me if I'm pregnant?"

"Are you?" He asked, his jaw clenching as anger flared in his eyes. I scrunched my brows, trying to figure him out. He looked stressed. I waited one second, ready for him to run his hand through his hair as a visual indicator...but his hands remained crossed against his chest. "Are you pregnant, Queen?" He asked in a firmer tone, snapping me out of my stare as I met his eye.

"Don't be an idiot, Syn," I said. "You know I'm not."

He shrugged, blowing out a relieved breath before a smile returned to his face. "You said you threw up. How could I possibly know that you're not?"

"I'm on my period, Syn," I reminded him slowly. "Unless you have magical sperm that can defy the laws of the female reproductive system...I think we're good."

A cringe crossed his handsome features before he cleared his throat and turned back to the dresser. "When did you start?" He mumbled, aggressively tugging at his tie and I frowned.

I glanced around the room, looking for cameras or waiting for the prank to be revealed. This had to be a joke. I laughed softly, an uncomfortable feeling inching its way up my body as I hugged myself. "A couple of days ago..."

"When will it be gone?" He asked, his back to me and I frowned.

"Well, if I could make it go away now...I would." I watched him shake his head, not saying another word and irritation bubbled in my gut. "You're acting like it grosses you out now."

He sighed, turning around and unbuttoning his dark button-up. "It doesn't gross me out. It's just unnatural."

"Unnatural?"

"Women are supposed to be pure— virtuous and untainted. The blood you're shedding is a reminder of your failure to fall in line with your man's lead— Eve started it all, but you all continue to follow in her footsteps. It's a shame and it's sickening—"

"So all the women in the world have periods because they don't obey their boyfriends?" I laughed out loud. "That was good. Your acting just really gets me sometimes because that's the most misogynistic thing I've ever—"

"I'm not acting," he said. "If anything, this is the most honest I've ever been."

The amused smile on my face slowly dropped as I took in his serious expression. What. The. Fuck. I felt my heart splinter a bit as I thought back to this afternoon. He was probably disgusted the entire time if this was what he truly felt. It was a painful realization. "You can't be serious."

"I am," he said. "And if I've done anything to lead you to believe anything other than just that, I apologize. It had to be purely for your benefit."

A short breath left my mouth as the pain of his words sunk in. His smile...his words— it was all just to make me happy? It didn't make sense at all. It couldn't be true but his green eyes boring into me as he unveiled the painful truth clouded my vision.

I didn't ask him to fuck me. I knew how guys were which was why I withdrew from him the moment he suggested it, but I trusted him. I let go of my insecurities and trusted him— I wished he had never touched me at all if this was how he felt.

A tear fell down my cheek and I wiped it immediately. "That's really hurtful, Syn."

"I don't mean to hurt you." He shrugged out of his shirt and balled it in his fist before setting it on the dresser. The move was completely unlike him, but it was a strange and distinctive trait I swear I had seen somewhere before. I couldn't bring myself to focus on it long enough though. All I wanted to do was crawl into a hole and let someone bury me alive. "You are beautiful, Queen. I think you're perfect, okay? But—"

"But not right now..." I sniffled, finishing his words. I knew they were coming but I thought they'd hurt less if they didn't come from his mouth- the words would occupy my dreams if I heard his voice utter them.

I think you're perfect, but not right now.

He smiled. "I'm glad you understand. I thought that—"

"You need to find somewhere else to sleep tonight." I held back tears, clenching my jaw as I willed myself to stay strong.

"Excuse me?"

"What?" I shrugged a shoulder. "You're so disgusted by me right now...why would you want to stay in the same room— let alone bed?" I asked.

"Oh, of course," he said. "I only meant that this is my bedroom. You should be the one searching for another room to sleep in."

"You're kicking me out?"

"Don't say it like that." He cupped my cheek and I slapped his hand away, making him sigh. "Think of it as a break for the next few days. You can deal with your hormones in peace and I will have the distance needed to miss you even more— the heart grows fonder, you know this."

My eyes bore into him, shooting daggers at his face as a familiar rage began to consume me. I felt the spark- a small burn start in my stomach until it grew larger. The lights in the room began to flicker as I stared at him and he looked around in shock. He let out a small laugh but I could've sworn I saw a flash of fear pass his eyes for a brief second before he looked back at me. "Calm down, Queen. You know I love you—"

The large windows shattered, sending waves of cool air into the room. The light bulbs in the room burst one by one until nothing but moonlight lit the room and I blew out a relaxed breath. "Okay." I gave him a tight-lipped smile. "Enjoy the room."

He didn't say anything else as I walked out and slammed the door, hearing the wood splinter. I headed down the hall to the empty guest bedroom I stayed in before and walked inside, closing the door behind me. Fuck him. I didn't know why he was acting so differently, but it hurt like hell.

I felt my breathing become short as I locked the door. I leaned against it for a brief second, trying to compose myself...but I needed air. Wiping my eyes, I walked out to the balcony and welcomed the harsh cool wing. It stung just enough against my skin that the pain of Syn's words were slowly fading— very slowly.

I sunk into one of the chairs and buried my face into my hands. Something had to have happened tonight. This had to be a way for him to piss me off and push me away so he wouldn't have to give me an explanation— that made sense. I was used to Syn doing that- never to this extent but I could believe it if I had to. What I couldn't believe though, was that I disgusted him.

The idea was wild.

I knew the way he looked at me and although he rarely flat-out admitted it, he adored me. That look of desire and adoration was in his eyes from the first time we kissed to the moment he asked me to marry him— both times. And it was the same one that filled his eyes as he looked at me fully in the office. The only change was now— I didn't see that same look in his eyes.

Sure, I saw lust...maybe desire as he looked at my body but something purely and completely Syn was missing. I hardly recognized him and that meant one of two things;

Either he had fallen out of love with me in a matter of hours or something was going on.

My insecurities clung to the first one, whispering hurtful doubts to my mind and making my chest ache. But my heart was drawn to the second one- the thick velvet strings of love wrapping and interweaving their way around the thought until it snuffed out my insecurities.

"Okay." I nodded with a whisper.

Something was wrong.

꧁꧂

Chile.

Hehehe I know y'all are sick of my cliffhangers but in my defense, the next upload is tomorrow 😮‍💨🤚🏾 so you'll live but it felt right to end it here today.

So...what are we thinking right now?👀
Lmk✨ and I'll see y'all tmmr💕