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"𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓."
"𝑻𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒏𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔," 𝑯𝒆 𝒔𝒂𝒊𝒅. "𝑵𝒐𝒕 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒎𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇."

_𝑪𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒓𝒂 𝑪𝒍𝒂𝒓𝒆.

𝕁𝔸𝕄𝔸𝕃

"Now that Tolani has decided to be no show since JAMB ended, I have to be the one teaming up with Denola Da'silva to get things ready for our last months in this school." Skye whined again but then, I have learnt to always block her out when her whining got annoying.

Especially when I'm not even in the mood to be the pacifier.

"It's even better that you are the one handling her position for the time being." Somadina chipped, causing Mateo to snicker.

"I am 99.99% sure that for our field trip on the last week, she'd have probably made us go to a strip club." He added making Mateo's snicker to turn into a full blown laughter. Skye chuckled but Vanessa didn't. She probably didn't find it funny.

Like me.

I didn't know her excuse but I knew mine.

I was numb.

"That's so degrading and demeaning. I get that Tolani is not our best person but please, can we stop insulting the babe at every chance we get?" Vanessa rolled her eyes, lazily munching on Rite.

Skye scoffed.

"That bitch insulted my mum and my entire family. She's happy that all she's getting are insults." She stated, looking through her notepad which she liked to call her "Idea book".

Not having anything else to do, we were hurled up in the seniors cafeteria whiling away time with a few other of our mates cluttered around the large hall as well. School was still very much in session with the SS1 and SS2 students having class, making us have the hall the ourselves.

JAMB had ended since last weekend but our results weren't out yet. WAEC wasn't until the ending of April which was approximately a month and a half away. That meant we had at least five weeks free time to start preparing as well as put some things in place.

Since it was our final year, Limelight Trojans had a lot of things planned to make the last few months as memorable as possible. That was what Skye was trying to plan, doing Tolani's work as the social prefect. I was certain they were going to burst their asses as much as possible to make things work.

Too bad that was the least of my problems.

...I need a break, Jamal...

That was three weeks ago.

Three bloody weeks since I messed everything up...

Three weeks of excruciating torture.

Elyon and I have never been apart for more than a day whenever we have an argument or something of that sort. Three weeks now and I haven't been able to talk to her, or really see her. It was driving me crazy, insane. I haven't been able to think straight, worrying myself, beating myself up, feeling guilty for saying those hurtful things to her.

But not as much as I felt more burning hatred.

It was all his fault.

I wouldn't have said something so hurtful to someone I love if he wasn't involved!

Khalil.

My blood began to boil at the immediate thought of him. He has finally found a way to get into my head.

Ever since he showed up here, things haven't remained the same. It has been issues upon issues, arguments upon arguments and fights upon fights. I tried to protect Elyon from him, I tried my best but he finally found a way to poison her mind, taking advantage of her large and tender heart, leading us to this very present moment.

This was all his doing!

I can't believe I was still trying to protect him under the shadow of family instead of me to have ripped his head off his bloody neck the first day he got here. Faizal was so wrong about giving him a benefit of doubt!

"Jamal, Jesus. Stop!" It was Skye's shriek that jerked me out of my reverie. I looked at her, wondering why she had screamed my name like that.

"Do you have to scream my name?!" I snapped back at her, suddenly feeling edgy and annoyed over everything and nothing.

"You are crushing my hand." She told me and I looked down to see that I was actually holding her hand, having it in a death grip in fact. I quickly dropped it, wondering how I had taken hold of her hand in between my train of thoughts.

Get a grip, Jamal.

"Sorry." I muttered, feeling everyone's gaze burning holes into my body. "I didn't even know when I picked it up." I said, looking away from all their scrutinizing gaze.

"Jamal, are you okay?" Mateo asked, eyes peering at me intently.

"I'm fine. Just deep in thoughts." I answered, looking away from him. Mateo squinted at me, his expression giving away that he didn't buy my excuse but he didn't say anything further.

For the past three weeks, I've been able to lie my way through every break down, every zone out, every melt down, telling my parents and my friends that I was fine when in fact I really wasn't. And they knew I wasn't but they have respected the fact that I didn't want to talk about it.

The only person I had issues convincing was Mum and Skye.

"So," Somadina started, trying distract us from the suddenly tensed atmosphere and it worked because all attention turned to him. "I was speaking to the principal about our last moments in school plans and he said we might need to incorporate a symposium." He stated. Ma

"Trust the school to want to cut all our fun and replace them with talk shows and seminars. This is our last few months in school. It's supposed to be fun not boring." Mateo chipped, rolling his eyes dramatically. Vanessa chuckled but didn't say anything to that.

"I honestly think the symposium is a good idea." Skye shrugged, buying into the idea.

"But the issue is when. At this point, all the weeks after WAEC is booked. Some students are doing NECO. We can't be having fun while they are having exams and we definitely can't have a seminar without them." She said, earning nods from the trio while I just sat there, listening to them, having absolutely nothing to comment.

"Well, you can't decide it here. We probably have to call an emergency prefects meeting for us to settle when the symposium will hold." Vanessa finally said.

"And also the theme of the symposium. Princii asked us settle that one as well. The teachers won't pick for us." Somadina pitched in and Skye nodded, jotting everything down in her "Idea book".

"Jamal, you didn't say anything about the symposium idea." Mateo said, his voice prodding. Like, he wanted me to stop thinking about what he knew I was thinking about. He wanted to get my mind off Elyon to focus on something else Andi was grateful for that.

Too bad it wasn't working.

"What do you expect me to say?" I asked shrugging nonchalantly. "You guys have it all figured out, so you don't need me." I added dismissively. I didn't care about the symposium or our last few months in high school of Elyon wasn't going to be part of it. I heard Skye sigh and I could literally feeling the pity looks they were giving me.

Can they just stop and leave me!

"Fuck..." I heard Somadina cuss. I wasn't going to pay any attention to him until I heard Skye's loud hiss and Mateo's inaudible murmurs. Vanessa wasn't saying anything but I could feel her gaze on me. I looked up at them, my brows furrowed in confusion.

I started to say, "What's the matter with all of..." Then I realized that they weren't even looking at me. I started turning my head towards the direction of their gaze.

"Jamal, don't look." Skye began to warn but she was a little too late because I had already looked, my eyes landing on the last person in the entire universe that I wanted to see.

Khalil.

My face contorted in a grimace as I glared at him, wanting nothing more but to walk up to him and bury my fist deep in his face. That has been the urge for the past three weeks and God knows how much restraint it took for me not to beat him up into a pulp, especially when he was living with me.

But that wasn't the worst part.

The worst part was that he wasn't alone.

Elyon was with him.

They walked into the hall together.

And they were laughing.

What!

Skye was saying something but I wasn't even listening to her. My eyes was fixated on Elyon and Khalil as they made their way to an extreme corner of the hall, taking their seat and talking about only God knows what. They didn't even seem to notice that they were being stared at. Elyon didn't notice me.

Did she get over me that fast?

I felt a pang in my chest at that thought.

God, don't let that be true.

"I can't believe she is still hanging around him, even after everything. Like, doesn't she feel bad for what she did?" Skye's voice range out, laced with annoyance and disdain. She scoffing immediately after her statement.

"What do you expect after you pushed her away?" Vanessa said suddenly, shocking Skye, Mateo and Somadina. And most especially, shocking me. I turned to look at her , disbelief marrying my face but I was tongue tied because I  saw an element of truth in what she said.

But Skye wasn't even having it.

Of course she wasn't.

"What do you mean we pushed her away?" Skye asked, not hiding the disdain in her voice. "She basically fell for Khalil's lies, wimps and caprice and you are saying we pushed her away? Are you serious Vanessa?" I began to feel a strong wave of head ache as they started talking.

Am I even listening to this?!

"You accused her of cheating on your brother. I think the last place she wants to be is around you, or any of us." Vanessa maintained adamantly, not backing down for a second. Her statement even made me remember how Skye had actually accused Elyon of cheating...

How I had indirectly accused her as well.

God, I messed up big time!

"Babe, we said we won't take sides." Somadina tugged at Vanessa's sleeve, whispering though he was loud enough for us to hear.

"Yes, I said I won't take sides but then, that doesn't mean I won't point out what is wrong and what is not." She answered Somadina then turned to look at a seething Skye.

"I'm disappointed. You are supposed to be her best friend, Skye. Accusing Elyon of cheating was low and I'm not sorry for saying that." She added, shrugging nonchalantly like she obviously didn't care what Skye thought.

They are talking like I am not even here.

I want to leave this place...

"I think we all need to calm down and take a breather. We are already making noise." Mateo started, trying to salvage the growing tension.

I looked around the hall, thankful that most people weren't really paying attention to us. I looked towards the direction of Khalil and Elyon but they were not paying attention as well. I wasn't sure whether to be happy or angry at that. I didn't even know how to feel about the situation. I wanted to stand up and leave, but I couldn't move from my position.

"Things happened that day that we honestly didn't have any control over and I'm sure if we just calm down to talk about it all..." He kept saying but Somadina interrupted him.

"I don't think we are in any position to talk about anything that really isn't our business." He stated matter-of-factly.

"Thank you, Somadina!" Skye bellowed, eyeing Vanessa with so much contempt. "Please tell your girlfriend to mind her business like she already said she would. This is none of her concern." She spat out disdainfully. I sat there, heads clasped in my hands, trying to block their voices out as a stronger wave of headache.

Fuck.

"I should mind my business?" Vanessa asked incredulously, before letting out a sarcastic laughter. "You should also mind your business, Skye. Just because your brother is involved doesn't mean you should always butt into his matter. You are in your own relationship! Your brother doesn't butt into it!"

Why are they talking about me like I'm not even here?

"He's my brother!" Skye snapped. "It's my job to look out for him. Yes, I am Elyon's best friend but Jamal was my brother first and I won't have anyone hurt him!"

Okay, I've had it!

"ENOUGH!"

And everywhere went silent in an instant; so silent that all I could hear was my precipitated heartbeat.

I was clutching the egde of the table, my breathing erratic and unstable. Everyone in the hall had suddenly stopped to look at our table and I could feel their gaze burning holes into every part of my skin. The once spacious hall suddenly became too congested for me, sucking the fresh air right out of my lungs.

I need to get out of here.

Making good on my thoughts, I picked up my bag and stood up from the chair.

"Jamal..." Skye started but I started walking, not wanting to listen to anything anymore or I might just faint.

"Let me go after him." I heard Mateo tell her but that didn't make me stop because I kept walking.

Then I stopped, feeling my breath hitch.

I could feel her eyes on me. So, I looked.

She was on her feet, books in hand and yes, she was looking-no, staring at me, so intently that I couldn't look away. My eyes ran down the length of her body, noticing every detail of her dressing.

She suddenly looked more beautiful in the uniform I have seen her wear everyday. Her braids were packed in a simple high pony tail, her face void of make up which made her even more beautiful. I looked back up and my eyes met hers again.

God...

There were so many emotions running through her face- her eyes, that I couldn't unravel. But, it was okay. With the way she looked at me, it was enough.

Elyon.

It was like a breath of fresh air, bursting through my compressed lungs. I was suddenly able to breath properly. Just one look from her did that. That's how much power she had over me even without knowing.

Until Khalil came closer to her and with his eyes trained squarely on me, he whispered something into her ear, causing her to look away from me and at him. I stilled, my breath of fresh air gone.

Just like that.

"Jamal..." Mateo called me, reaching where I was standing.

I didn't let him continue before I dashed out of the hall...

My mind in an haiku of emotions.

☆☆☆☆

I raced all the way to the art studio, ignoring the frantic calls of Mateo as he followed behind me, trying to catch you with me which was a shocker, since he was the fastest guy in school. But I didn't give a fuck at that moment. All I needed to do was to breath.

Elyon looked away from me and looked at him, instead.

I wasn't the one making her laugh that way.

That fucker was.

He has finally gotten what he wanted!

Son of a bitch!

Breath, Jamal. Breath. I chanted to myself, walking into the art studio.

I tried to close the door, lock it. I wanted to be left alone but Mateo wasn't going to let that happen. He was quick the stretch his hands in-between the crack of the door, not caring if I had slammed the door against his hand. He walked into the room, shutting the door behind him. I looked away, suddenly feeling the need to pace...

And I started pacing, feeling Mateo's gaze follow my every move.

"Jamal, you need to calm the fuck down." He stated factually, earning a scoff from me.

"I'm calm, Mateo. I am very, very calm." I replied, flashing him a smile which I was sure came off as sardonic and derisive. Especially with the way Mateo had veered back with a creeped out look on his face.

"That..." He gestured to my entire demeanor, "is not being calm. That, isn't even remotely fine. You are not okay, Jamal and I'm worried!" The concern in his voice had gone more than just a notch up. He began to walk towards me, his facial expression holding a hint of worry and fear.

Out of nowhere, I suddenly became pissed.

"I said, I AM FINE!" I screamed at him, unintentionally punching the fibre glass that was leaned against the wall by my side.

Fibre glasses don't shatter, or break, or even crack. But this one did. It broke into a thousand pieces, piercing painfully into my knuckles and drawing a lot of blood. It wasn't until I realized what I had done that so much pain shot through my body like a tidal wave.

"Fuck!" I growled out in pure agony, holding unto my bloody wrist. I didn't miss the petrified look on Mateo's face as he stared at me, eyes widened like a saucer, breathing heavily. Falling to the coach behind me, I kept wailing like a wounded animal.

"Fuck... Fuck...Fuck..." I chanted, feeling a lot of emotions overwhelm me like a tsunami. Pain, anger, sadness, loss, heartbreak. Tears stung my eyes and I allowed myself to cry, not caring for one second that my best friend was standing right there, watching me.

"Jamal, we need to go to health centre. Your hand is broken and you really to get that checked out. There is blood everywhere." The panic in his voice was undisguised but I paid him no heed, my mind- thoughts, all over the place.

"Jamal..." Mateo called to me and I looked up, bloodshot eyes and tear stained face. Mateo looked scared, terrified. I was too, but I couldn't help it.

"Did you see it?" I asked him but his eyes held a hint of confusion. "Did you see the way he was the one making her laugh, making her smile and not me? Did you see that?" I asked frantically, watching as Mateo's eyes softened, a sigh escaping his lips. He crouched to my level so that he could be at eye level with me.

"I know you are hurt and sad and angry but you have to calm down." He said, picking his words one by one to make them have effect on me. "Right now, you need to get to the health centre and get your hand checked out. That's the most important thing at this point." He maintained and I sniffed, nodding.

"I'll go on my own." I told him, causing him to frown. Ignoring the look he was giving me, I stood up and made my way towards the door.

"Jamal, you can't..." He started but I stopped him.

"Leave me alone, Mateo." I said, watching the way his frown changed into a hint of hurt. But I didn't care. "Y'all should just leave me the fuck alone."

With that, I walked out of the studio.

☆☆☆☆

Clangs of cutleries again plate. That was the only sound that emitted from the dinning table.

On a normal day, the table would be full of chatters and laughter, no one caring about their table manner. Even when Khalil came, that didn't die. He found a way to get involved in every discussion and my parents loved to engage him.

But lately, it has just been dead silent on the table. I had a feeling I was the one that caused it because I wasn't even ready to speak to anyone. I could feel my parents eyes on me, watching me. That was unavoidable since I came up with a bandage wrapped around my right fist and I was struggling to use my left to eat.

"You still haven't told me what happened to your hand, Ini." Mum's calm voice broke through the overbearing silence. I looked up to see her staring at me, her and dad. I could also feel Skye's gaze on me. Clearing my throat, I dropped my spoon.

"I fell." I simply replied, trying to sound as convincing as possible. What was I supposed to tell them? That I punched a glass, tearing my skin up and breaking my bones, all because I got my heart broken and couldn't contain my rage?

"You are lying." Skye said and I turned to glare at her.

"You should mind your business." I fired back at her and she scoffed, looking back to her food. Khalil was seated at the head of the table, pressing away on his phone like nothing was going on. It pissed me off that he seemed so unbothered when I saw sure he knew this was all about him.

"Inioluwa," Dad started and I looked at him. "You know I hate it when people lie to me, especially my children." It was more of a statement than a question but I nodded anyway, swallowing in invisible lump in my throat.

"Good. I'm going to ask you one more time. What happened to your hand?" He asked again, eyes boring deep into mine so intensely that I shivered. But I still couldn't tell them the truth.

"I'm not lying, dad. I fell down." I repeated the same lie I had told them earlier, looking my dad straight in the eye to say it. He stared right back at me, wanting to read me. So, maintained a straight face. I'd have gotten away with it, I honestly would have.

But he just had to laugh and my parents turned their attention to him.

Khalil laughed and with the way he was holding his phone, it seemed as if he was laughing at something he saw on it. But we all knew he wasn't. He kept laughing, a long, hearty laughter with a hint of sardonicism that had my blood boiling, with the feel anger and hatred flowing through me.

Then he stopped to looked at me, shaking his head and with his lips quirked in a smile.

"You are a terrible liar." He simply said, making me almost burst into flames of anger. Not caring that my parents were on the table, I dragged my chair back, stalking towards him in anger.

"Jamal, don't..." Skye began but I didn't even look at her, my eyes focused on the fool that has decided to taunt me for all eternity.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?!" I growled at him, pushing him against the chair he was still sitting on. The fact that he still had a smile on his face made mead with intense rage.

"Jamal, go back to your seat right now!" Mum snapped but I ignored her, not breaking my eye contact with Khalil.

"You should listen to your mum." Khalil said, shrugging nonchalantly. But I wasn't backing down, closing my ears to the frantic calls and screams from my parents and my sister.

"I said, who the fuck do you think you are!" I screamed at Khalil, pushing him against his seat again. He let out a low chuckle, getting up from his chair to stand in front of me. The smile had wiped off his lips and his face had contorted into a glare.

"You don't want to do this now, dear cousin. So, do yourself a favour and go back to your seat." He said calmly but I could sense the edge in his s voice. I let out a humorless laugh before I pushed against his chest again.

"Make me." I dared him, my eyes unwavering from his gaze. He looked on, his glare still intact.

"Don't push me again, Jamal." He warned me, his tone telling me to back off. But I wasn't going to give this asshole the satisfaction of knowing that he scared me. He doesn't scare me one bit. So, I pushed against his chest again.

"Or what?" I pushed again, and again. Until he stopped my hand from going any further. Frantic and angry, I threw my left fist against his face, punching him and causing him to fall back to his chair.

It felt good.

"Blood of Jesus! Jamal!" Mum screamed, rushing over to Khalil to check on his. I was going to say something sardonic when I felt a palm strike against my face. My face jerked to the side, my mind registering that I had been slapped. I looked back to see my dad standing beside me, indicating that he was the one that had slapped me.

My Dad slapped me.

Because of Khalil?!

"Dad!" Skye screamed. My gaze unwavered from my dad's glare, tears stinging my eyes.

"Go to your room, now." He ordered, his voice low and dangerous, daring me to defile him. I held his gaze for a few more moments before I took off. I heard my mum asking Khalil if he was okay and it made the water works increase even more.

"Wait, Jamal." Skye called to me, following behind. I ignored her, reaching my room and wanting to close to door but Skye forced her way in. I fell to my bed, bursting into tears.

How can my parents care more about Khalil than they care about me?

"Jamal..." Skye called softly, settling on my bed.

I felt her hand on my back, rubbing soothingly. But instead of it to calm me down, it made me angry. Suddenly all my emotions were heightened. The flood gates were open and I could feel every single emotions bursting through me. I wanted to be alone. I didn't want to have anyone around me.

Not even my sister.

"Get out."

"What?" She sounded so confused, looking at me like I had grown horns on my head. I sat up from the bed, cleaning my tears.

"I said, Get out!" I repeated, trying to be as calm as possible. But she still stood there, looking at me like I was some deranged human being.

Maybe, I was. I didn't give a fuck.

"I should get out? Are you serious, Jamal?" She asked incredulously. I hissed, getting up from the bed so fast that it shocked her. I took her hand tightly in my grasp and legit dragged her out of the room.

"Get out!" I pushed her out, slamming the door in her face and locking it. Immediately, all the sadness and pain I was feeling came rushing back and I fell back to the bed again, allowing myself to wallow in my misery.

Jamal Inioluwa Bamidele, you are loosing your mind...

A/N

Mehn! Jamal is very miserable at this point.

Have you ever felt this way because you got heart broken and then you see the person you hate the most warming their way into your ex's life? I think I have felt just a fraction of what Jamal is feeling at the moment.

Jamal is possibly the only character in this book that does not fail to hide his insecurity and his break downs. You can legit read him like a book. That's why the guys are always very worried because, even though he says he's alright, they can see it all over his demeanor that he isn't. He doesn't even know how to lie. He has succeeded in pushing everyone away, even his sister.

Do you think Khalil was intentionally trying to rile him up?

Who agrees with what Vanessa said to Skye?

Is Elyon actually getting over Jamal?😂 is that even possible?

Let me know what you think.

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See you later this week ❤️❤️.