Elide startled, sweat gathering on her forehead while her T-shirt was already wet. It took her eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness, but as soon as she could at least see the outline, she realised she wasn't with Carl. And no sooner did the thought occur to her than she looked down and realised in frustration that she was lying on a bed and wearing different clothes.

Panicking, she threw the covers off her body and swung her legs off the bed. She was wearing more comfortable trousers and a T-shirt she had never seen before, let alone worn.

She stroked her face tiredly before getting up and putting on Carl's long sleeve shirt, followed by her boots. It had to be evening already, when she looked out of the window there were only a few lights left on in the houses. But it could well be because so many people had died.

Without literally groping in the dark any longer, Elide opened the door and ran downstairs, where she could already make out lowered voices. As soon as she got downstairs, Daryl turned to her; their eyes met and Elide bit down hard on her inner cheek to ignore the look.

If she looked at him any longer, she would probably burst into tears.

"Why am I here?" She finally asked, realising how scratchy and hoarse her voice sounded. Maggie smiled gently and motioned Elide to sit at the table where Glenn and Carol were sitting.

Elide rolled her eyes and sat down on the chair, her thoughts on Carl. If she gave herself over to this conversation faster, she could be with Carl again.

"Daryl brought you here yesterday when you fell asleep," she explained softly, placing her hand on Elide's arm, which was covered by Carl's shirt. His scent enveloped her throughout, as if he were sitting next to her. It reminded her strongly of the day Elide had met the group.

"Yesterday?" Elide sat back, shocked. "How long was I asleep?"

Now Glenn interjected as well.

"A whole day," he said quietly. "But you needed it, trust me."

Snorting, Elide stood, turned away from the situation and ran into the kitchen. It seemed that someone had followed her, but she was too tired to be able to tell now which of them it was.

But as soon as she looked out the window, Daryl was reflected in it.

Elide turned to him. "You here to give me a sermon? If so, then-," Daryl harshly interrupted the girl.

"Hell nah, I ain't doin' that shit to myself again." He shouldered his crossbow and nodded outside. "I'm going hunting, you're coming with me," he decided.

Elide's eyebrows shot up as she looked at the older one in front of her.

"No, thanks. I should be back with Carl by now and not wasting my time any further," she said, her voice firm, her eyes staring past his shoulder at the clock. It was almost midnight and Daryl was still going hunting?

"Carl needs rest," Daryl replied.

Elide laughed, even if it sounded rather sarcastic.

"He's been asleep for two days and he needs rest? Funny."

"He's awake, Elide."

The fact that Elide didn't understand what Daryl had just said there for a few seconds could either be because she had just woken up or the fact that she was trying not to listen to Daryl. Either way, she understood now.

She didn't hesitate a second longer and wanted to run past Daryl, but he had other plans and held her by the shoulder, his look something of sadness. Immediately, Elide's heart sank, pounding loudly. Something wasn't right.

"Then why the fuck, are you stopping me?"

He instantly let go of her and forced himself to say the next words.

"Kid said he don't wants to see ya," he finally muttered.

Her heart broke. It broke into a thousand pieces with a loud noise as she suddenly felt completely numb.

Her mind had understood, but not her heart, which was bleeding terribly.

"What? What're you talkin' about?"

Elide clutched at Carl's shirt. Her eyes were dilated in horror, her legs felt like they were about to give way.

Carl....Her Carl didn't want to see her? After all that had happened, after all that Elide had done, he didn't want to see her? It felt like someone had plunged a knife into her back from behind.

"Rick just told me, Elide, I know just as much as ya."

Elide didn't want to hear any more. She turned, yanked open the door and ran outside. Immediately an icy cold night air enveloped her. The rain was over and surprisingly only a few walkers were lying around somewhere. Most of them were lying in various heaps.

Elide quickened her steps, her thin arms wrapped around her shivering body as she arrived at the house where Carl was.

But before she could even open the door, it was opened from the inside and Rick stepped out; However, when he saw Elide, all upset and shaking, he bowed his head.

"So it's true?"

He raised his head after hearing her broken, trembling voice. Only very slightly could it be seen in the moonlight that her eyes were glittering once more.

She had made a promise to her brother and was too weak to keep it. And now, when she thought she could start anew, together with Carl, he pushed her away from him?

"He's going through a rough time right now," Rick breathed, taking a few steps closer to the girl who suddenly seemed so small and weak. "Needs to learn to deal with his new situation."

It made sense. It made perfect sense. Except for the part where Elide wasn't in it.

"I know, Rick. That's why I'm here," she laughed wryly. "I spend every minute of my time with Carl, hopin' and prayin' that he'll be okay. That everything's gonna be okay again. And now that he's awake, now that I can finally stand by him, he doesn't want me with him?"

"I told him you were with him. And believe me when I tell you he was anything but thrilled with his own idea."

Frustrated, Elide shook her head.

"So why won't he see me?"

"I wish I could tell you."

"Let me see him," Elide demanded, her voice suddenly firm even though her whole body was shaking.

Rick looked down thoughtfully, his hands braced exhaustedly on his hips.

"Please, Rick. In the meantime, you can rest. I'll stay with him no matter what he says." And she meant exactly that.

Fine, it was his choice if he didn't want to see her. But she had promised herself to stay with him no matter what. Even if it meant sitting in a corner with her back turned to him, just to make sure he was okay.

"All right. Denise is close by if anything should happen," he said in his soothing voice before putting his hands on her shoulders and then walking past her with slow steps.

Even though Elide was afraid of what she was about to encounter, she wasted no time in opening the door and walking to Carl's room. With each step, her heart beat twice as fast as before. Her heart threatened to explode as she slowly and without haste pushed down the door handle and gained entry to the room.

Since it was still dark, she couldn't see where Carl was at first.

She was so nervous that she couldn't even find the door handle she had just let go of. But she didn't even get to close the door.

"Go away."

Elide winced, tears that had been building up for minutes beginning to run down her cheeks, leaving warm trails.

"Carl...," Elide whispered hurt, her voice so low.

"No, just go away, Elide." Carl's voice was so rough and low she hardly recognised him. Even greater worry spread through her.

It had been so long since Carl called her that.

She finally managed to close the door, her sadness fizzling into frustration.

Elide walked towards him and could now see more clearly what he looked like. He was sitting on the bed with his back to her, his legs dangling down the edge. It was like the day they first got close. He wore no top, just a pair of dark cloth trousers similar to the ones Elide had on.

The girl swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat.

"I'm not going anywhere," Elide clarified as she approached with slow steps. "Please, Carl, what's wrong?"

He didn't answer. The boy only turned his head further away from her as she tried to get closer.

"Carl. Stop being like that. I was almost dying of worry! I've been here every second waiting to finally have you back and now what? After all we've been through together, you push me away?"

His head was bowed and his heart ached beyond belief. He hated hearing Elide like this, let alone seeing her.

"I know, Elide. I heard you," he murmured softly.

Elide stopped in her movements. "You...you heard me?"

"Every single word."

"And yet you want me to...to just go?" It was beyond Elide's comprehension. Even if Carl explained to her what the reason for his behaviour was, Elide couldn't accept it.

"Yes."

Shaking her head, Elide now wanted to turn the corner to him so she could sit next to him. She wanted to talk to him, needed to finally know what was wrong with him. He was awake. He was alive. He was healthy.

"No, stop. Don't come near me!"

His loud voice echoed in the room. Elide did not stop, even though her entire body was shaking.

She was now standing directly in front of Carl. He was looking at the floor, his body unhealthily tense. Elide felt more, silent tears making their way out.

"Please, El. Just go," Carl breathed again, this time sounding so soft and weak that Elide was almost sorry she hadn't just left.

Slowly Elide got down on her knees, sitting on the floor so that she could now stare directly at Carl from below. He had closed his left eye tightly, blocking Elide's longing desire to finally see the blue she liked so much again.

Carefully, so as not to frighten him, Elide lifted her hand to place it against his right cheek. Looking very closely in the dark, she saw that a large part around his eye, where the bandage was now, was contracted skin. Carl didn't flinch, he didn't push her away, he didn't say a word.

But no matter how scarred and bruised his skin was, to Elide it would always remain soft and perfect.

Elide seized the moment and pushed his head up a little. A tear escaped his left eye when he finally opened it and looked Elide in the eye for the first time since he had fainted. Her breath hitched. Carl's breath caught.

She was crying, for him.

"You're crying," he stated incredulously. He had never seen her cry before. He had never seen her so broken.

Elide sobbed hurtly. "You blame me? I thought you were dead, Carl. I thought I'd lost you," she finally cried. Carl's heart contracted at the sight.

"And then you wake up and don't want to see me?"

He shook his head and put his hand on hers, but only to pull it away from there.

"I don't want you to see me," he corrected her, his voice low and whispering.

Now she didn't understand anything.

Before she could open her mouth to say anything, however, Carl beat her to it.

"I...I'm not like I was, Elide. Things are different now," he said softly, looking so sad and empty.

He was so afraid. He was afraid of not being able to live with this situation. He was missing an eye. He would never be able to live the way he did before. He would never be able to look at himself in the mirror the same way again. He was disguised in his eyes. Ugly.

Elide sniffled loudly and could hardly believe what she heard coming out of his mouth.

"Carl, you're still the same boy, i-," she interrupted herself. Carl's gaze had lifted immediately. What was she about to say? Had she seriously intended to tell him that she loved him?

"You're still the same boy, I knew before all that happened," she restarted. Her hand settled on his. They had grown warmer, so relief flooded her body.

"The same boy who showed me I was worth it. The same boy who makes me laugh and gives me a hug when I feel like absolute shit."

The boy shook his head and looked intensely into her eyes. "How can you be so sure?"

Laughing, Elide now sat down next to Carl so she could be close to him, her thighs touching his. The fact that he was still topless didn't bother her; There were more important things now.

"How can I be so sure? Carl, you're still the same. I just know that. Trust me."

He wasn't convinced. He had a headache and the fact that he could only see out of one eye was driving him crazy. It felt like there was something in his eye, like he couldn't open it because of it. Everything was spinning.

Carl no longer answered but bit his lips hard. Elide suppressed a sob, her hands fighting each other. She wished she could take all the suffering away from Carl. All that he had to live.

"Carl," she breathed, gently turning his head towards her so that they were now level. "I'm so sorry."

A single tear escaped his eye again and fell onto her hand. That spot began to burn, reminding her of Carl's pain.

"It's not your fault, El," he breathed.

El, there it was again.

She nodded instantly. "Yes it is."

"No," Carl said with the best conviction he could manage. His voice was still shaky, but authoritative.

"I heard what you said and even though I didn't want to see you, El, I hate how you blame yourself," he whispered softly. "It's not your fault and I'd rather it happened to me than you."

Elide could take no more and burst into tears. Her chin trembled uncontrollably as she tried to keep her sobs to herself.

Without thinking any more about it, she slid closer to Carl and wrapped her thin arms around his warm body. Immediately, a warmth came over her that she had missed so much. She buried her head in the crook of his neck, drawing in his scent. It wasn't long before Carl had elicited the embrace; tightly, with all the strength he had at his disposal, he squeezed Elide.

"Thank you," he breathed. Almost inaudibly.

The two teenagers cried silently as they hugged.

"Thank you for coming here, El, and for never leaving me alone," he continued to speak, his hot breath bouncing off her neck.

Elide sniffled again and moved away from him a little to look him in the eye. They were both still very close, too close, for Carl. He tried to pull away, but Elide wouldn't let him and held onto his arm.

"Don't," she breathed.

"Stop, El, let go of me."

She shook her head and raised her hand to run gently over the faint marks of the scars. Carl closed his eye in agony. "Don't do that, please."

"Why not?" She wanted to know softly, her voice nothing but a whisper.

Carl raised his hand and removed Elides. "Because I'm ugly. That," he pointed to his eye. "Is disgusting. I don't want you to see it."

The girl couldn't believe her ears.

Without wasting another second, she leaned over and kissed the area with the scars gauzily. A hundred butterflies gathered in her stomach while all the hairs stood up. The skin under her lips felt rough, yet soft.

Carl blushed, but immediately took some distance. His eye widened.

"Stop that," he breathed.

Elide couldn't stop the slight grin that settled softly on her lips.

"Carl, you're so beautiful. I don't care if you've only got one beautiful blue eye. To me, you're still the same."

Her voice was so soft and careful.

Carl looked up again, his eye shining in the moonlight. He didn't know what to say. When he woke up, he had never expected to live like this. He was uncomfortable and embarrassed to walk around with these scars and wounds. But now that Elide was here, even though he was so rude to her, and showed him and told him so many times that she didn't care, he suddenly didn't feel so small and weak anymore.

Elide saw his inner conflict.

"You're so brave. You're so strong, like no one else is. If anyone can live with this situation, it's you, Carl. And I haven't doubted you for a second."

"Why are you being like this to me?" The boy wanted to know didn't even respond to her words, even though he had heard them.

Elide looked outside briefly when she heard voices, but the front courtyard was empty. She looked back at Carl and sat up a little straighter.

"Because you are everything to me," she said hesitantly, waiting for his reaction. "You're all I have. And you promised me something," she murmured further.

"I know," Carl replied. "And I would never have broken it."

Elide let a few more tears escape as she dropped her head onto his bare shoulder with a gentle movement. He wrapped his arm around her waist and rested his head on hers as best he could. His eye closed and he enjoyed her closeness to the fullest.

His heart was pounding so fast and loud that he feared all of Alexandria could hear it. He would make it.

He would make it as long as Elide was with him.

__

hehe. maybe there will be another chapter very soon, because i'm really motivated. or i'm just afraid that i won't have time during the school time that starts tomorrow.

rip.

hope you liked it<3