𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏
November 1918

During her years alone, Margaret found herself aimlessly wandering the halls of her family estate with boredom. She would wake every Thursday and rush to see if she had any post. And, most times, she did. All from Thomas Shelby.

And in every single one, he never failed to impress her.

But as time went on, his letters seemed to be filled with pain and upset. In one of them, he spoke of how he wanted to go home and it upset Margaret. She couldn't even imagine what the men fighting would be going through.

War was an awful thing. It killed many and left families grieving the faces they feared they would one day forget. It left wives and children wondering if the husband and father would return. Sisters waiting for their brothers. Mothers waiting for their sons.

Margaret found herself reading poetry when she had nothing to do.

The four years that the war had gone on were painfully slow for everybody.

But, on one evening in November of 1918, Margaret found herself opening up another letter from Thomas but this one was different. The handwriting seemed rushed and it began explaining how they were coming home.

A loud gasp escaped her lips which attracted the attention of the maids that walked the home. She apologised quietly and spun on her heels to rush back up to her bed chambers. She could not believe it.

But what she was yet to find out was that he wasn't returning the same man. He would be different — a shell of his old self.

And for the days after reading that letter, she waited. She waited and she waited for more news. But nothing seemed to come. So, Margaret took it upon herself to go down to Birmingham and see if the Shelby men were home.

Her shoes touched the cold cobble of the place she didn't think she'd return back to. The fog consumed her and she took a deep breath, her heart heavy and overwhelmed. She walked through Watery Lane to the one house she was familiar with.

Their family home.

She knocked first and could hear loud footsteps from inside. She stepped back with caution and moments later the door flung open. A beautiful, short haired brunette faced her. "Oh, Margaret is that you?" The girl pulled her inside.

"Ada.." Margaret breathed with relief, accepted the young girls hug.

"Oh how nice it is to see a familiar face round here." Ada sighed. Margaret pulled back to examine the girl, "you've grown." She noticed. Ada chuckled. "I have." She nodded.

Ada's breath hitched. "Oh— you must come inside. They're back— all of them!" Ada said with excitement, "they got back this morning. Tommy will be delighted to see you. . ." Ada whispered as she pulled Margaret through the house. "Tommy there's someone here to see you."

As the two entered, Tommy looked up slowly, his eyes softening at the sight of the face he had longed to see. She had remained beautiful and somehow grown more beautiful than he had remembered. He stood slowly, arms hanging at his sides.

"Hello. ." Margaret smiled slightly, her words coming out as a whisper. He walked toward her and said nothing. He just wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes in relief. He didn't want to let go of her. He had waited so long just to see her face.

She held him tightly and laughed ever so slightly as she rubbed his back. "You're here.." Tommy whispered. "Yes— why wouldn't I be?" She asked him.

He pulled back to look at her face. "I didn't think you'd wait." Tommy said honestly as he brushed his knuckles against her cheek. She shook her head and took his hand. "Why would I have lied to you?" She said.

Tommy just examined her features and felt relief flood through him.

"Oh my is that.." Polly's voice sounded as she appeared from the kitchen. Once her eyes had landed on the Howard girl, she couldn't help but gasp. "Oh— you're here!" She said.

Margaret smiled and nodded.

Polly couldn't help but engulf her in a hug and sigh. "Thank god you're back with us, Margaret." She said.

"Thank you.." she replied with unsureness.

Tommy watched her from where he was stood and didn't know what to say. It all felt surreal. He didn't want her to realise he wasn't the same anymore. He didn't want her to see the look in his eyes that refused to go away. He didn't want her to see how he had changed.

That night, both Margaret and Tommy ended up being the last awake. They sat in the living room in separate seats. Tommy held a whiskey in hand and Margaret was trying not to watch him.

She could feel that something was different and it made her feel. . . cautious.

Tommy stole glances of her whenever he could. "You look different." He said bluntly. She raised a brow. "Do I?" She asked. He hummed. "You look prettier— I didn't think that was possible." Tommy complimented but his tone was cold.

She shifted in her seat and began to wring her hands in her lap. "Thank you.." she mumbled as she looked away. She could feel his eyes as he watched her and she just stared into the fire. "Are you okay, Thomas?" Margaret asked seriously.

He huffed and stood up. "It's late." Were the only words that left his mouth. He glanced at her a singular time and walked out.

Margaret, feeling defeated and somewhat upset, nodded to herself slowly and bit down on her lip. Her nails dug into the sides of the chair and she forced herself to stand. She stared at the door, waiting for Tommy to come back through. But he never did.

She picked at the skin on her lips and hesitantly made her way up the stairs. She grew paranoid that Tommy had changed his mind and did not want her around any more.

By the time she had gotten to the room, Tommy seemed to be asleep. Or at least he was pretending to be.

Margaret watched for a moment to see if he would move but he didn't. She climbed into the bed beside him, sure not to touch him. She faced away, looking toward the door as she hoped that sleep would find her.

And sure enough, it did.

—

"Oh, you can't go." Polly said with disappointment. Margaret offered the woman a sympathetic smile and shook her head. "I think it's best, Polly. I don't think he wants me here any more. It isn't 1914 and I think he's outgrown me." She said.

"Don't be silly— he could never." Polly whispered.

The was a loud bang as Finn jumped off the couch and ran at the girl. His hands clutched at her coat. "You aren't going are you?" He asked. Margaret tutted and nodded. "No, you can't! I was supposed to show you the horses at Uncle Charlie's Yard." He complained.

"Oh, i'm sorry Finn." She said with genuine sympathy.

Finn huffed and stormed off. Margaret looked back at Polly. "I'm sure he'll warm up to you again, Margaret. You were the first thing he asked about when he returned." She said.

Margaret's eyes flickered and she placed her fingers to her bottom lip, thinking. "I will come back.. I always do. I think just for now, I should go home. Let the boys settle back in." She tried to explain. Polly hummed and placed a hand on Margaret's cheek. "Very well then. If you need anything at all, you write to us." She said seriously.

Margaret nodded and turned to the door. "Tell the boys and Ada I said goodbye." She asked, opening up the door where the car had been waiting for her.

As she stepped outside, she almost collided with the chest of Tommy. He grabbed her shoulders to stabilise her and she looked up at him with wide eyes. "Are you off somewhere?" He asked, seeming slightly more lively than he had a few days prior. She took a breath, "I'm going home."

Thomas looked at his Aunt and she just gave him a stern look before turning away.

"Has your father asked for you to be home?" He suggested.

Margaret shook her head. "No. . I think it's best I go home for a while. Just whilst you get used to home again." She said. He nodded slowly though not understanding. He didn't want her to go home. But he didn't seem to argue with her and that just made her urge to leave grow.

"Will you come back?"

"Soon yes." Margaret felt a lump in her throat whilst looking at the man who once said he'd marry her. He seemed shallow and unbothered by her.

Just looking at him made her conflicted. She wanted to stay, to spend her days with him again like she did all those years ago. But he wasn't the same man. His eyes were colder and he had lost a piece of himself. Five years ago, he'd have begged her to stay and maybe even force her to stay. But five years later he seemed to be completely clueless as to what was going on around him.

But this was just the beginning.

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not proof read. i want to give you a broken tommy and the woman who so desperately wants the old him back.. so that's what i'll try and do.