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                      15 years timeskip

« Sultana your coat » one of the maids put a coat around gevher's shoulders while i stared from a distance .

« Valide i am not a kid anymore i promise you , two rounds and i'll be back here » i still was hesitant to let her go , but i tried my best to look reassured .

« If i dont find you here when i ask for you i will come search for you myself » she nodded happily and left my room running .

Gevher grew up very differently from her other siblings , she was the oldest but the youngest in my eyes . her childhood was mostly riding horses , she preferred that over anything else and i was trying to let her do what she wants .

I still vividly remember when she was 11 she fell down the horse and broke both her arm and leg , she was sick for months and i was so scared for her .

So many things have changed these past years , i was still the same but i had two other children . I myself wasn't planning on having them but when they came to life everything have changed , it was once again a girl and a boy .

Hatice was born before Ahmet , she was 2 years older , she was way different from her oldest sister . Hatice was very delicate and sophisticated, she reminded me of my sister akça a lot

Ahmet was also like her , he never liked going go campaigns with his father or have his training sessions , he always gave me a headache before i send him for training .

Orhan was already taller than me and selim , he looked older than his actual age and i can't help but remember the day he was born . it felt like yesterday , i loved my four kids so much i would die for them .

"Sultana his majesty is getting close to the palace " i turned around quickly when i heard what sumbul said .

"What do you mean close ? why didn't you tell me earlier" i nervously walked towards the mirror to fix my hair.

"Nurbahar go call the kids and bring them to my room" i ordered her while i put my hair clip on .

"Mashallah sultana you are as pretty as you've always been" i could see sumbul stare at me from the mirror and i smiled .

"you're still as kind as you were sumbul , i guess we grew together at this point" i finally finished and got up from my seat , girls were still tidying up my room .

my door opened to reveal hatice and ahmet , they walked in towards me and bowed down to me .

"Valide i miss you , lessons have been awful" ahmet hugged me and i looked down at him with a laugh .

"We're not about to have that talk again right ?" i rubbed his back gently before he broke the hug , hatice came to me and kissed my hand .

"You know that i feel old when you do that" i jokingly said and she seemed genuinely surprised.

"If i do it to my father i'd do it for you too" she rubbed my hand and stood next to her brother , they kept talking to each other while i was waiting for orhan and gevher .

Few moments passed  by and orhan came in , he walked straight towards me and kissed my hand .

"You rarely come see me don't you" he looked up and shook his head denying my claim .

"Of course not mother , you know how much i love you" i gave him a soft chuckle and let him stand next to his other siblings .

"And as always gevher always being late" i said to myself while approaching the kids .

"I wish i could've went with my father , i still don't know why you didn't let me" orhan said to me and i titled my head a little .

"We've talked about this orhan , you're still young to go and your health is not as its best right now , your father promised you for next time" he didn't agree with me , i didn't know he was still bitter about me not letting him go .

Orhan was asthmatic and i wouldn't wanna risk him going , he still had to rest and he'll go with selim next time .

"Sumbul go check where gevher is , tell her to hurry up" before sumbul could leave , the aghas announced selim's presence and everyone stood still .

Selim came in to my room and i couldn't help but smile , i have missed him so much .

"Your majesty welcome back home" he walked towards me first and hugged me , when he broke the hug i kissed the back of his hand .

"I am very happy to see you , it's been a while" he rubbed my shoulder lightly and smiled , he then moved to orhan who kissed his hand .

"Baba , Welcome we have missed you" orhan spoke to his father which made my  heart melt .

" My lion , i have missed you too . I can see you took great care of your mother while i was away" selim looked over at me and i nodded with a smile .

"Where is gevher ?" he looked around concerned "I came back after months and she's not here ?" i could see his face tense, he was angry with her i could tell but i am going to have a talk with her soon about this .

" Baba won't you carry me like you used to ?" Ahmet folded his arms together and pouted , selim bent down and grabbed ahmet's face .

"You're grown up now , but i will if you tell me you attended all of your training lessons" ahmet threw his hands behind selim's neck .

« My mother can tell you , i attended every single session » ahmet and selim looked over at me for an answer .

« I can assure you that he did » i laughed and selim followed me with a chuckle , he grabbed ahmet and carried him in his arms .

« I'm so sorry » the door opened and revealed gevher looking like she ran around the garden .

« Aren't you a little bit late ? » i asked her and she kept looking down at my remark , she went to her father and kissed his hand .

« I'm so sorry for being late i tried to catch up in time » she said trying to get her breath steady , selim looked at her and nodded .

« I don't want you to repeat this again » he patted her shoulder and put ahmet down . he smiled at her and was planning to leave but i followed him .

« Why don't you stay ? we've missed you » i grabbed his forearm trying to make him stay .

« I have to see my son and turhan now , but i promise i'll come over for dinner . i've missed you more than anything » i smiled and closed my eyes slightly .

« I'll wait for you » he nodded and left the room , i turned around to the kids and they were already starting to chat with each other , hatice was talking to gevher and it looked like she was scolding her .

« Good night kids , go to bed early .Tomorrow we'll have breakfast with your aunt and your father » they all agreed and we're starting to leave .

« Gevher you stay » she stopped in her tracks and watched her siblings leave , i sat down on the couch and looked at her .

« Do you mind explaining this delay ? why were you late ? » she started looking around .

« Look at me when i'm talking to you , i've never raised you to look down » she immediately looked at me and answered .

« I got carried away valide , i was enjoying the weather too much that i forgot about the maids telling me that our father was close to the palace » I crossed my legs together and extended my hand for her , she took it and sat down next to me .

« You saw how upset your father was right ? i don't want you to repeat that ever again, i've always been finding excuses for you » she nodded after me understanding what i was saying.

« A sultana knows how to plan and organise her life , i don't want yours to be messy okay ? i hope this is the last time we're going to have this talk »

« Valide im sorry , i will not put you in such position again . i promise i'll get better with this it's just a matter of time » she was genuinely speaking and i could sense that , she got close to me and put her head on my shoulder .

It's like all the upsetting i was feeling faded away , being a mother has changed me a lot .

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