if it wasn't for selim i would've died from boredom here , he was indeed very entertaining but now our time together was coming to an end because we had to go back to the capital .

I was still not fully recovered but i can do my activities normally , it's been exactly one week and a half since we've been here . my mother only stayed here for two days before she went back and today we were packing to leave again

" I am not excited to go back sultana knowing what happened i feel hatred towards all of them" aynur paced around the room as she packed our stuff . i layed back on the couch and looked at the ceiling

"Trust me neither do i , i don't wanna see them . i don't wanna even breathe the same air as them" I closed my eyes a little bit before i opened them again

"i'm sure they trained their puppet turhan enough now" i carefully cracked my neck as i said that and i could clearly hear aynur sighing

" Sultana we should take our revenge on them , you're not safe with them in the same place" she came close to me and i moved my head towards her letting out a chuckle .

"Just wait , i'm gonna show them who i am this time . they took advantage of my kindness but everything's gonna change don't worry" she gave me a sweet smile before she continued packing .

when we finally finished we went to the garden where the carriage was all ready , i noticed that so many guards were there . selim must've doubled them and i understood that

"Attention his majesty sultan selim khan" i looked behind me and there he was coming , we all bowed down to him and stopped when he grabbed my hand .

"How do you feel better ?" his fingers intertwined with mine and i swear i felt my heart skip a beat .

"Much better , i mean you took care of me right" i shyly answered him and responded with a smile before he squeezed my hand .

we both got into the carriage , he was being very careful with me as if i was going to break .

Me and him were the only ones in the carriage obviously and still he prefered to sit next to me instead of sitting infront of me .

the small gestures mattered so much to me . the carriage started moving and i immediately started recalling that traumatic night , the mental impact it had on me was as bad as the physical one .

i tried to swallow the lump in my throat and looked away to not make him worry . we started moving for what seemed like half an hour and it was all fine but the sickening feeling didn't leave me alone it kept bugging me and i felt something build up in my stomach .

"Are you okay?" selim slipped a hand around my waist and pushed my hair out of my face with his free hand .

" I'm fine" i breathed in and gave him a faint smile but he didn't seem to buy that .

"Is it your wound ? do you feel pain somewhere ? just tell me something" i shook my head and before i could give him answer i put a hand over my mouth wanting to throw up

he instantly banged on the door telling them to stop and it did just in time because i yanked the door opened and threw up outside . i was running out of breath and throwing up at the same time was just a very bad combination .

my hand clutched my stomach as i continued throwing up , i was too absorbed in what i was doing that i didn't realise the grasp around my waist helping me .

Selim handed me water which i used to clean my mouth after the mess .

"Do you feel better ? is it something you ate ?" he asked while i was sipping water , my gaze turned towards him and i shook my head .

"No no it was a panic attack , i didn't realise that after that incident i'll be traumatised from getting in carriages . i'm sorry" my hands travelled to my face in frustration .

"Hey hey you have nothing to be sorry for it's okay" selim grabbed my hands and pinned them down before he embraced me carefully .

he stroked my hair for some moments and i closed my eyes feeling safe in his arms . he let got of me and steadied my face with his hands .

"I'm here , you have nothing to be scared of" he brushed the tear that escaped my eye and held me tight again .

"It's okay love , everything's fine" i never thought the power of words until this moment , he was beyond perfect as if he understood me very well .

he tightened the hug one last time before he held my hand and squeezed it .

"Let's go , you will overcome your fear with me now" i was hesitant, i preferred going back to the capital walking instead of getting in .

but this time it was different , he knew about my fear and he'll make it easier for me . He got in first and i followed him , as soon as i sat he put his arm around my shoulders and made me lean on his shoulders .

" Are you ready ?" he asked and i couldn't say anything but nod , it was going to be okay .

the carriage started moving and his arm only got a tight grip around me , my hand grabbed his finger and held it for the rest of the ride . i closed my eyes and it was getting easier , every time i wanted to stop again i would take a deep breath and get reassured by him .

"See ? you're very strong . now sleep a little bit our ride is far from over" i smiled as i looked up at him and closed my eyes once again trying to focus on sleeping .