July 2, 2015

(hyunjin's P.O.V the whole chapter)

Living with my father is like being trapped in a jail with a missing key. I never really had a healthy relationship with him, my mother didn't either, which explains why she left.

No matter how hard I try, there's always something that isn't enough for him. There's always something I'm missing. Something I'm doing wrong. Maybe I'm the problem.

I mean, I'm always in my room, either sleeping or scrolling through TikTok...I don't really have the motivation to do anything else. I get why father is disappointed in me.

Sometimes I wonder what he would do if I dropped dead one day. Would he even care? I bet he wouldn't even notice. I find myself longing for some type of comfort from him, but I know that'll never happen.

"Hwang Hyunjin!" I heard my father call, making me lose my thoughts. I ran down the stairs to see him. "Yes father?" He gave me a stern look...but he always had a stern look so I couldn't say much. "The hell are you doing up in that damn room all day? Do you know what time it is?" He yelled at me, his voice making my head pound.

"Uhm..." I looked down, his face alone sent shivers down my spine. "It's 9pm goddamnit! You're good for nothing, a waste of space!" He yelled before kicking me, I fell back, hitting my head against the stair railing. I hesitantly lifted my head, my eyes meeting his. I soon regretted it though, cause he just seemed to get more mad.

He knelt down on his knees, getting down to my level, literally inches away from my face. "I should just get rid of you..." I heard him mumble, he was drunk, I smelt it in his breath. "Father..?"

He got up, and I attempted to stand up and run away but I was too dizzy. "Father, please, I-I can do better, I promise!" I said, struggling to speak properly. What if he actually kicks me out? "No, you won't. I know your tricks you brat." He said.

I looked up at his eyes. All I could see was hate. He couldn't even show a bit of love for his own son. I always blame him for hating me, but I never thought that it could be my fault. Maybe I am really that bad to the point where all his love for me disappeared.

"You don't love me, I bet you don't even care about me. I'm living with a son that doesn't even want me. Do you know how hard I fucking work for you? Just to be rewarded with a lazy ass kid who can't do shit right." He kicked me again, my head hit the floor as I laid there. "I love you, I really do!" I yelled as he got closer to me. I couldn't stand up, I was too weak. Probably because I've barely been eating...

"Liar." He said coldly before stomping on my chest. I wheezed. God, that hurt. I couldn't breathe properly, and my abdomen ached in pain. I think he broke something. "F-" I tried to speak, but he stomped on my body three more times. I struggled to think or even keep my eyes open.

I closed my eyes, in an attempt to stop the pain just for a second. But I wouldn't open them after that...

 I'm sorry.