March 5, 2015

'Jinnie <3' (bold = Hyunjin)

Hi Hyunjin

Hi Chan wsp? Why are you up so late

Idk, I couldn't sleep TT

The real question is why are YOU up so late

The same reason as you

Wanna stay up 2gether?

Yeah, how are you? Ik I haven't been talking to anyone lately..

I'm ok ig, Han came over yesterday

Han? He's not ghosting anyone?

No, he came over with snacks last night

Dang, well has anybody else contacted you but Han and I?

Nope, only you and han

Welp, ig everyone is still sad about him

I mean, how could we not? Aren't you still sad?

I am.. I hope the others are doing ok

My dad's home

I gtg

Oh, ok then, bye hyunjin  

Delivered 3:20 am

Hyunjin was always scared of his father. Every time I'd ask him about it, he'd say that it was nothing. I knew it wasn't nothing, but I wasn't going to force him to talk.

I sighed, putting the phone down. It's so lonely without Jeongin. I looked around the room, spotting a picture of Jeongin and I from two years ago. He seemed so happy. He was always so happy. Why would he do that to himself? I can still imagine him in my head, but I can barely even remember what he sounded like.

"..."

I can't remember what he sounded like.

...

"Wake up Felix."

I fluttered my eyes open to reveal Minho looking down at me. "Good morning, Minho, what time is it..?" Minho stared at me blankly. "3:38 am." His voice was tired and low. "What happened..?" I asked him, but Minho didn't reply. Instead he sat down next to me and leaned his head onto my shoulder. "Minho..?" I asked him, wrapping my arm around his shoulder. "Promise you won't leave me." He said.

"What?"

"Just promise."

"Minho, look at me."

Minho turned his head to look at me, his eyes dark and dull. "You don't need to worry about me leaving you. I won't leave you, ok? I promise." Minho's gaze softened. "Don't make promises you can't keep. You break this promise I'll kill you." He said. I softly chuckled. "I promise, don't worry." I smiled at him.

...

"I hate you." I heard Jeongin say. I turned around to look at him. "Jeongin? Hello? What did I do?" I called out. "You hurt me. You're the reason I'm like this. You ruined my life." He said, his voice deep and dull. "What? Jeongin, please come out. I just want to talk to you." I called out, I was on the verge of tears, did he really think of me that way? Did I really ruin his life? All of a sudden I felt my stomach getting punched. I fell to the ground. I then felt my hair being pulled but I couldn't see anybody.

Then I started to fight the creature or person that hurt me. I punched it and pulled it's hair. I could hear its cries of pain and agony. Then, when I stopped, I saw the beat up boy on the floor. It was Jeongin. "Jeongin! I'm so sorry! Wait, are you ok?" I said before kneeling down to touch him. But the moment I touched him he smacked my arm away. "You're a monster."

Then I jumped awake. This was the second time I've had a dream like this.

I don't want to sleep anymore.

...

Ding dong!

I heard my doorbell ring, this is the second day in a row. I then opened my door to reveal another tired looking Seungmin. "Hi Changbin..." He said, his voice cracked as he spoke. "What do you want? It's 4:30 am" I said. Maybe if I sound mean, I'll shoo him away. "I...I don't know. I can't sleep.." He said, how am I supposed to turn him down when he looks like this?

I sighed. "Come in." I said, opening the door for him. He walked in, plopping himself down on my mini couch. I sat next to him. "Are you tired?" I asked. "Yeah. I had a nightmare." He said, closing his eyes and leaning back on the couch.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No."

He seemed distressed in a way. With his eyebrows furrowed together and his body stiff. "It'll be okay y'know?" I said.

"It will all be okay."

...

There's nobody.

Nobody can help me.

It's too late.

I took all the pills and swallowed them. Just wait, Jeongin. Han is coming soon.