NAOKI'S EYES FLASHED OPEN, her heart jolting as she sat up, sweat coursing down her back and sticking her to the sheets.

Beside her, a boy twitched, stirring. His voice was slurred, muffled with sleep. "Noki? You okay?"

Naoki jerked. 

No. No, not possible. It couldn't be him. She couldn't have dreamed him up, not her real boyfriend. Her life— her love— he had to be real. 

She couldn't be with him again. 

Not him.

She grabbed his shoulder, flipping him over, heart racing.

Theo Sun-Laurent blinked at her, eyes swollen from sleep, a trail of drool down the side of his cheek. "Whazza?"

Naoki's stomach dropped. 

ILLIAS' EYES FLUTTERED OPEN TO THICK GLASS. For a moment, it was Cartier's again, and Naoki and the Queen were duelling viciously before him. 

But no. Just white. A dead, white hallway. Too-bright lights. A glass box. And a straightjacket.

He had been so damn close. So close to getting her back. He had almost convinced her. She had looked at him with those soft eyes. She had her pink hair, like before. 

He was so. Damn. Close. 

Illias screamed, body contorting with rage, bucking against his restraints. No doctors came, no nurses ran. They were used to this. 

Someone had stopped him. Somebody had interfered. She was so close. 

Illias stilled. Sun-Laurent. It must have been. It must have been. The dirty mind-freak, the one who could see into his head, the one who knew all his plans moments before they happened...

Sun-Laurent.

Illias tremoured, eyes bulging. 

He had taken so much from Illias already. Naoki. Popularity. And he wouldn't stop taking. 

Illias twitched, fury building like champagne in a bottle. 

"She'll be mine," he whispered. An oath. A threat.

NAOKI CLAPPED A HAND OVER HER MOUTH. Her shoulders wouldn't stop shaking, her breath uneven. "No, no no no. Oh God. No that's not— Theo—"

He sat up instantly, sheets sliding off his bare chest and puddling on the bed. "Noki, what's wrong? Did I—" he groaned, slapping his own forehead. "Shit. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to call you that. My tongue slurred. I'm not him, Naoki."

Not him. Not him. Not him. Not Noki, either. 

She took a deep breath. In through the nose. Out through the mouth. Just like Becky, the therapist, said. Theo watched her patiently, worried, his heavy brows creased with concern.

When her breathing levelled, he extended an open hand. "You okay?"

She took it, warily, her hand sliding comfortably into his warm grip. He held her perfectly. Not too tight, not too loose. He was real. This was real. "I— I had a bad dream."

"Even after I said sweet dreams? Damn, I need to work on my manifesting. Should I get a journal?" he blinked at her solemnly.

She laughed, elbowing him. "Shut up, Sun-Laurent."

"What was your dream about?" he asked softly, pressing her hand comfortingly. Her heart steadied a little more, flowing into the stillness of his grip.

"Him. That's why I... flipped out. It was..." she frowned. "It was so long. It felt so real. Mirage and the Queen and everything was in it. I could see everything. You. Xands. Paris and Dex. Even my moms."

"It wasn't Mirage, though? If you were in Mirage..." Theo worried his bottom lip. "He could've visited you in Mirage."

"No. It wasn't fully Mirage. It was— Part of the dream took place in the real world. A fake real world. If that makes any sense." She groaned, pinching her nose. "My head hurts. It was just so— so surreal. Like life started over again."

"Where did your dream start?" Theo asked, kissing her shoulder. "Start from the beginning. We can unwind it together."

She shut her eyes, straining. But she didn't have to work hard to remember. Memories bubbled up clearly, like reflections in a mirror, surfacing as soon as she willed them to be. It was always like that, with her memories from Mirage. But this was no Mirage. Nothing about this dream felt ordinary.

"We started at the party. You remember. The first time I danced with you."

"The night we officially met, and you fell hopelessly in love with my dashing good looks."

"You were covered in cheese and cracker crumbs," Naoki reminded.

Theo winked. "Exactly."

She laughed. "Right. Well. The party. That night went the same. You and the others were drugged. You woke up in Mirage. Then Kieran found you—"

"Found is generous."

"—and took you to base. That's where you met me and Illias. Except... except we hadn't ended things. Not officially. In real life, I ended it fully with Illias the night of the party. The night you went missing. But in this dream it wasn't official. We were still holding on."

Theo's eyes darkened. "Then what?"

"We trained. I relived every day we spent training you. Every second. It was eerily accurate. I forgot I was dreaming, sometimes." Her voice wavered, stomach dropping. She clutched him tighter. "Theo— I believed it— I really forgot where I was and I forgot you and I could only remember him and oh—"

Theo pulled her into his chest. It was warm, safe. She couldn't see anything, but with his arms around her, she didn't need to keep watch. Her back could be exposed. 

He rested his cheek on her head. "Shh. Don't talk about that. Keep telling your story."

She nodded against his shoulder. Voice muffled, she continued. "And then you... you tried to possess the Damia. And it got you instead, just like in real life. But this time, you stabbed me. And h-he choked me. And I- I forgave him—"

"Then what?" the rumble of his voice shook her panic loose.

"I— I was kidnapped. I got taken. By the Queen. She was some psycho demoness here. And he rescued me. And then I fought the Queen and I killed her and I'm back. But Theo, it was all so real—"

He hugged her. She clung to him. "I can't remember where we are," she whispered.

"We're at your home. Your parents are cooking right outside. Can you smell the pancakes? They're blueberry flavoured, your favourite. Just like your hair." He touched her baby-blue strands. She nodded, inhaling the scent of Theo's warmth and oven-baked blueberries.

"Jem, Atticus, and Laurie are playing SmashBros in the living room. They turned the sound down so you could sleep," Theo murmured. His voice was like the chugging of a train. Steady, reassuring, and always going where it promised it would. "Poppy is sleeping over. Her mom dropped her off to go visit her sister."

"Why are you here?" Naoki asked.

"My parents left me with an empty house and a credit card. I decided to save them electricity bills and come move in with you. They're in Shanghai for the next six months. Your parents let me stay." Theo smoothed her blue hair down. "Remember now?"

She nodded. "Themis. Adonis. They're coming to visit soon."

"Right. Your psychotic British cousins," Theo grinned. "I heard Adonis is a bit of a dick."

"You'll like him," Naoki promised, laughing. "You two are like two peas in a pod."

"Do you— remember what happened last night?" Theo hesitated.

Naoki clutched her head. "N-no. Tell me."

He nodded. "You and Xandra went to a party. She wanted to make sure she wouldn't get blackout drunk this time. She wanted to prove she was healing. And she is. But you were the one she carried home. I think that's why you have a headache. She said you and Illias had a chat while she took a phone call from her mom."

Naoki bit her lip. "You think he..."

"Maybe," Theo's voice was hoarse. "I don't know what happened to him, but ever since you two broke up, he's lost his grip on reality."

She shivered. She remembered now, some of the things he had done. The dream-memories were slowly washing away, revealing the real-memories beneath them. She and Illias bickering when they were supposed to be training Theo and the others. Him grabbing her. Her slapping him. Back and forth, because he would never leave her alone, and she would never give in.

"He's behind this. He has to be," Naoki bit her lip. "I just don't know how."

Theo slid his hand down her back, soothing her. "We'll tackle that in a bit. Let's go get some pancakes, yeah?"

She nodded. "I love blueberries."

He grinned at her. "Me, too."

THEO PUT ON A SHIRT SO THAT NAOKI'S BROTHERS WOULDN'T CALL HIM A WHORE, which was an insult he took as a compliment and was often thus complimented. But also, Naoki's parents were there, and he didn't want them to think he was deflowering and debasing their only daughter. Only legal daughter, actually, but if their other non-legal daughter decided to speak up against him, Xandra would definitely win.

Naoki clasped his hand, and they went out into the dining room together.

He couldn't help but worry for her. He believed her, he always did. Naoki had the firmest sense of reality, the strongest intuition, of anybody he'd ever met. It was why she had replaced Illias as General now. He shouldn't have even gotten the position in the first place, but Naoki had wanted a break and a rest. She deserved one, too.

What worried him was that she would be asked to tackle something that she shouldn't have to fight. Illias, haunting her dreams. It was a regular occurrence, to the point where Naoki had gone a month without real rest, delirious and babbling. She was terrified of him, of the way he slipped into her mind like the darkest smoke. It wasn't fair that she be asked to confront someone she wasn't ready to confront.

Theo would offer to take the fucker down, but he also knew that Naoki fought her own battles. She would ask for help if she needed it.

They sat at the dinner table. Rosa —Mima— smiled at them, and set down a plate of blood red strawberries. "Good morning, sunshines!"

Theo felt the air rush out of the room. That plate of strawberries.

Naoki gave her best impression of a smile. Theo gripped her hand under the table, and casually reached for a blueberry with the other.

He glanced at the strawberries. "Oh, Mima, I'm so sorry I forgot to tell you. I'm allergic to strawberries. It's a little deadly, but really, no trouble at all."

Rosa lifted an eyebrow, but swept the plate away. "Oh, Theo, you should've told me sooner," she deadpanned. Naoki relaxed, her grip softening.

Behind her back, Rosa shot him a look. He was going to have to explain to her later.

"Thanks, Mima. Where's Mum?"

Naoki jolted up again. Jesus Christ, this wasn't okay. "Mum— Where's Mum? Mima, where's Mum—"

"I'm right here, love," Hanna poked her head into the kitchen.

Naoki's eyes filled. Rosa shot Theo another glare. He winced.

"I'm just helping your father out of the shower. One moment," Hanna ducked back into the bedroom.

Yet again, Naoki spasmed. "My—"

She'd forgotten so much. Whatever that drug was, whatever the dream had been, it had fucked her up. Severely. Theo itched to punch someone —namely Illias. Whatever that psycho bastard had done had fucked Naoki over. She didn't even remember her own father. It was like a blast from the past, meeting the Naoki he had met a year ago. The one who didn't know her father, who fought tooth and nail to stay emotionless and numb, the one who was so chained to Illias you couldn't tell where the iron ended and the girl began.

Theo leaned over, pretending to wipe something from Naoki's face. "Just play along. Trust me, this is normal. Your memories are screwy. But I'll figure it out with you."

She took a shallow breath.

"You can do this," he whispered. "My strong kick-ass girlfriend could beat me up. She can take this one, too."

Naoki gave him a watery laugh.

Kiernan Rox wheeled out of the bedroom, sliding his wheelchair next to Naoki's. "Good morning, everyone. How did we all sleep? And where are the boys?"

"Playing their video games," Rosa put another plate down, replacing the strawberries with more blueberries. She kissed Kiernan's cheek. "I let them have a little more time. I think Naoki's a little tired from her party, so I thought some peace would be good."

Kiernan laughed, leaning into Rosa's kiss. "Our boys are anything but peaceful."

Hanna came from the bedroom, wiping her hands on her bright yellow wrap dress. "Agreed on that. Good morning, beautiful wife and husband."

Rosa kissed her hand, and Kiernan squeezed the other. Naoki looked as if she'd been hit by a bus.

She sat up, chair screeching as she pushed away. "I— Sorry, I just need to pee."

She dashed from the table, her parents watching her with wide eyes.

"What did you do to her, Sun-Laurent?" Hanna teased, putting her hands on her hips. Behind her, and in front of her, Kiernan and Rosa looked genuinely threatening.

Theo gulped. "I don't know, but I should probably go check on her."

He sprinted off as fast as he could.

"In the bathroom?" Hanna asked, confused. 

"That's disgusting," Rosa gagged. 

"Teenagers," Kiernan sighed. 

author's note!

chapter spamming is good, yes? 

anyway, this one is a doozy. can you tell what happened? anything you need clarification on? i know my writing isn't the best today, but i'm just eager to get the plot out and not focus on the actual writing ability. i'm too lazy. 

things will come into focus in the next chapter! look out for Xandra, Paris, and Dex then!