❛ SURVIVOR'S HEART ! ❜
chapter forty-four ―― dead to me

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ CHARLIE KEPT HER hands tight around the leather of Daryl's vest, so tight that her knuckles had turned white and she didn't let go until well after sun up. She looked up, her teary eyes squinted against the early morning light as Daryl drove down the highway, after a small stop to stretch, the two assumed that'd be the best place to go. If the others had made it out, that's where they'd go, at least that was the hope.

She turned to look over her shoulder to see Glenn and Maggie following closely behind them with T-Dog in the blue truck behind them. It was a miracle they had found each other at all but still she couldn't quite get a smile to form on her lips not after what she had to do. Now, all she could hope was that Mason and the others had made it out okay. Hell, she was even hoping to see Shane again.

Daryl drove through the grass, cutting across to the other side of the road and Charlie let out a sigh when she saw Rick and Carl, at least they were okay. As the others drove through the grass she jumped off the bike and quickly made her way towards Rick, who tightly wrapped his arms around her and she couldn't hold back her tears as everyone greeted each other. Maggie and Beth ran towards Hershal, Glenn staying close by, Lori engulfing Carl in a bear hug, while Daryl stayed next to his bike and T-Dog hung out the door of the blue truck, a gun in his hand.

Charlie pulled back from Rick when she heard a truck approaching and she turned to see Mason's truck coming to a stop behind the blue truck. Mason quickly parked and jumped out, not bothering to close his door and he made his way towards the crying brunette.

"I thought I lost you." He squeezed her to him, his eyes closed as he kissed the top of her head and all she could do was cry as her hands gripped his jacket.

"Where'd you find everyone?" Rick asked, looking over at Daryl.

"Well, those guys' taillights zigzagging all over the road – figured he had to be Asian, driving like that."

"Good one." Glenn chuckled.

"Where's the rest of us?" Daryl asked, looking at the group, sure a lot of them had made it but there were missing a few.

"We're the only one that made it so far."

"Shane?" Lori asked and Charlie pulled away from Mason and looked over at the two as she wiped her eyes. Rick looked from his wife to Charlie before shaking his head and Charlie stumbled backwards, only to have Mason wrap his arms around her again.

"Andrea?" Glenn asked.

"We saw her go down." T-Dog answered.

"Patricia?" The vet asked, keeping his daughters close to him.

"They got her too, took her right from me." Beth cried. "I was – I was holding onto her, Daddy. She just–" He wrapped his arm around his youngest as Maggie rubbed her back. "What about Jimmy? Did you see Jimmy?"

"He was in the rv. It got overrun." Rick told her and she leaned into her father as she cried.

"What about Josh?" Lori turned to look at Charlie and the brunette wiped her cheeks and took a breath.

"He, uh, he got bit." She answered. "And I– He asked me to–"

"Charlie?"

"I had to!" She shouted as she turned towards Mason, shoving his chest and he stumbled backwards. "He didn't want to be one of them. I couldn't let him be one of them!" More tears filled her eyes. "I couldn't let him become one of them." She mumbled, letting her head hang forward as she wiped her eyes.

"I know." He pulled her into his chest, rubbing her back and holding back his own tears, not only had he lost a friend but to know what Charlie had done and how it was tearing her apart was heartbreaking. All eyes were in the pair, all feeling infinitely terrible for the girl as she cried into her best friend's chest.

"You definitely saw Andrea?" Carol asked, breaking the silence and Charlie hiccuped as she wiped her nose with the sleeve of her shirt.

"There were walkers everywhere." Lori told her.

"Did you see her?" She asked again, but nobody answered.

"I'm gonna go back." Daryl started towards his bike.

"No." Rick stopped him.

"Can't just leave her."

"We don't even know if she's there." Lori stated, looking from her husband to Daryl.

"She isn't there. She isn't." Rick cut in. "She's somewhere else or she's dead. There's no way to find her."

"So we're not even gonna look for her?" Glenn asked.

"We gotta keep moving. There have been walkers crawling all over here."

"I say head east." T-Dog suggested.

"Stay off the main roads." Daryl agreed as he picked up his crossbow. "The bigger the road, the more walkers. More assholes like this one. I got him." He raised his crossbow at a walk that neared them but before he could pull the trigger a knife hit it in the side of the head and it fell to the ground.

"No, I got him." Charlie stated as she walked over to the dead walker and pulled her knife from his skull then he made her way back over to Mason, who tucked her into his side and led her towards the truck. They all piled into the cars, leaving behind the blue truck then they were on the road again.

>>>>> • <<<<<

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ CHARLIE SAT NEXT TO MASON, her knees pulled up to her chest and Josh's jacket ― the one he had given to her ― around her shins, her eyes on the fire they had started. They were surrounded by brick walls, but despite that Charlie didn't feel safe, not really but that had more to do with the fact that she had to shoot her boyfriend in the head just the night before. She couldn't get his eyes out of her head, the tears he was holding back, the fear that was clear as day, but more than that there was love. Love for Charlie, even as she held a gun to his head. She closed her eyes, shaking her head a little, not wanting to relive that moment again – though she had been reliving since it happened.

She looked up when she heard Carol whispering to Daryl, who was putting more wood on the fire. "We're not safe with him. Keeping something like that from us." Referring to the fact that Rick had kept the fact that everyone was infected and if they were to die then they'd come back as a walker. "Why do you need him? He's just gonna pull you down."

"Naw. Rick's done alright by me."

"You're his henchman and I'm a burden. You deserve better."

"What do you want?"

"A man of honor." She answered and Charlie silently scoffed, letting her forehead rest against her knees.

"Rick has honor."

"You're kind of a bitch." Charlie stated as she looked over at the women, who looked appalled that the younger woman had said such a thing. "So what if he kept it to himself, doesn't really affect us one way or the other unless one of us gets dead. And I know for damn sure that Rick, the man you think doesn't have honor, will do everything he can to keep us all alive. Because that's who he is and if you think you can do better. Bye, bye." She waved at the woman who was too shocked to say anything.

"I thought you were only a bitch to me." Daryl mumbled.

"Definitely not." She shook her head, giving him a fake smile and he chuckled to himself as he tended to the fire. "And you're not a henchman, Rick trusts you."

"I know." He nodded and she returned it before looking back at the fire, a yawn leaving her lips and she shook her head a little as if to keep herself awake.

"Go to sleep." Mason nudged the girl with his elbow and she leaned over on him, but when the leaves rustled in the distance she sat up, looking around as her hand flew to her knife.

"What was that?" Beth asked.

"Could be anything." Daryl told her, trying to keep everyone calm as they all stood up. "Could be a raccoon, could be a possum."

"Walker." Glenn added.

"We need to leave." Carol rushed out. "I mean, what are we waitin' for?"

"Which way?" Glenn asked.

Maggie pointed. "It came from over there."

"Back from where we came from." Beth added and Maggie nodded.

"The last thing we need is for everyone to go runnin' off in the dark." Rick told them. "We don't have the vehicles. No one's traveling on foot."

"Don't panic." Hershel stated, trying to soothe Beth a little.

"I'm not – I'm not sitting here waiting for another herd to blow through." Maggie shook her head, her voice shaky. "We need to move, now."

"No one is going anywhere." Rick stated more forcefully.

"Do something." Carol pleaded.

"I am doing something! I'm keeping the group together, alive! I've been doing that all along, no matter what. I didn't ask for this! I killed my best friend for you people, for Christ's sake!"

"You did what?" Charlie asked, her eyes narrowed as she looked up at the man.

"Charlie-"

"You killed my brother?" She made her way towards him. "My brother!"

"Charlie, let me-" She cut him off with a punch to the jaw and he stumbled to the side.

"You son of a bitch!" She hit again and again. "He was the only family I had left!" She shoved his chest and he stumbled backwards. "He was all- all I had left!" She tried to punch him again but Daryl wrapped his arms around her, pinning her arms to her sides, before he pulled her away from the bleeding man.

"Breath, princess." He mumbled into her ear and she let out a choked sob as she leaned her head back against his shoulder.

"You saw what he was like," Rick continued after wiping the blood from his busted lip. "-how he pushed me, how he compromised us, how he threatened us."

"Son of a-" She fought against Daryl but he kept his arms tight around her, pulling her farther from Rick as she kicked her foot out towards him.

"He staged the whole Randall thing, led me out to put a bullet in my back. He gave me no choice."

"I'm gonna put a-" Daryl moved his hand up and covered her mouth, cutting her off, but she continued and it came out as harsh muffles.

"He was my friend, but he came after me." He kept going, despite Charlie's angry muffles and the fact that Carl was crying. "My hands are clean." He stated as Lori rocked Carl side to side, trying to comfort him. "Maybe you people are better off without me. Go ahead." He motioned towards the woods before looking at the group again. "I say there's a place for us, but maybe– maybe it's just another pipe dream. Maybe– maybe I'm fooling myself again. Why don't you– why don't you go and find out yourself? Send me a postcard. Go on, there's the door. You can do better? Let's see how far you get. No takers? Fine. But get one thing straight – you're staying, this isn't a democracy anymore."

Daryl finally let Charlie go and she walked up to Rick, tears running down her cheeks, but he kept his face stern. Everyone watched as the two stood, unmoving, neither saying a word. Then in a quick move, she decked him again and he hit the ground. She squatted down next to him as he wiped his jaw. "You're dead to me. But I'm not going anywhere. Someone here has to have the balls to tell you when you go too far, otherwise, you'll end up like Shane. Dead." With that she stood up and made her way back towards the fire before sitting down and pulling her knees up to her chest as she stared into the flames.

the end

NOVA SPEAKS !

so we've reached the end!!

let me know what you think! and what you think might happen in book two!!

book two will hopefully be up soon but
i make no promises!!