❛ SURVIVOR'S HEART ! ❜
chapter forty ―― sorry, brother

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ CHARLIE AND JOSH sat there for a while and the sun had set, no words were spoken, they just held onto each other. It was comfortable and warm, and exhaustion was pulling the girl under but she fought it off. The air around them was cold, quiet – all but the crickets chirping in the grass around them and an owl howling in the distance. Josh smoothed his hand over her hair, pressing his lips to her head after every pass of his hand and the girl toyed with the fingers on his other hand. She'd wedged her fingers between his and squeeze before untangling their hands and tracing her finger along his palm. Then she turned his hand over and traced her finger along his knuckles before bringing his hand to her lips and pressing a soft kiss to his skin.

"What can I do?" He asked, his voice a soft whisper. "How can I make this better?"

"You can't." She told him, wedging her finger between his again. "But this definitely helps."

"Good." He mumbled into her hair, tugging her closer to him with the arm that was around her. "What you said to Carol about Shane, did you mean it?"

"Yes." She nodded. "He tried to hide it from me, how he felt, but I always knew how much it weighed on him. But recently, I don't know what he's thinking or feeling. I can't read him anymore, he's different. Irrational. Temperamental. I used to know him so well that I could pretty much gauge his next move based on his face, the twitch of his jaw, the furrow of his brow, but I feel like I don't know him at all."

"I'm sorry, baby." He mumbled and she chuckled a little, making his eyebrows pinch. "What?"

"You're gonna start calling me that all the time now, aren't you?" She picked her head up to look at him. "Because I told you I like it."

"Oh, absolutely." He nodded. "So, get used to it, baby." She smiled at him before leaning forward and pressing her lips against his. He pulled back, resting his forehead against hers, a small smile on his lips as he tucked her hair behind her ear. "You are amazing."

"Shut up." She muttered, hitting his chest as her cheeks flushed.

"You are." He told her. "The way you care about everyone, it's one of the things I like most about you." Her smile faltered and her eyes drifted from his and down to her hands that were on his chest, one gripping the fabric of his shirt. "What's wrong?"

"I'm scared that because I care so much about what happens to us that I'll lose the part of me that trusts other people." Her voice was quiet, like she was scared to even admit it. "I would've stabbed Jenner if Mason hadn't held me back and everything with Randall. . . he's a person. A human being and a part of me is okay that we're gonna kill him. A part of me, a big part, is okay with murder just because it means we'll be safe and I'm not sure if I like that part of me."

"It's okay to feel that way." He told her, ducking his head a little to catch her gaze. "Look at what the world is now, it's-it's a wasteland. And if you want to survive – if we want to survive – we have to be able to make the hard decisions. And it may not always be the right one, and sometimes it's gonna come down to us or them and I choose us. Our little family that we found."

"Does that make us bad people?"

"No, it makes us human." He wiped at a stray tear from her cheek with the pad of his thumb. "After all, the most human thing is love. It may not always be pretty, and some of us may not always agree on what to do, but love is the reason we made that decision. Love for the group, for our people."

"Have you always been this smart?" She mumbled after a beat of silence and he chuckled lightly.

"No." He shook his head. "Not even close."

"Thank you, I needed that." She leaned forward, placing another kiss on his lips before she settled against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her.

"There you guys are." Mason seemed out of breath as he neared the two, a flashlight in his hand. "We're keeping Randall in custody."

"What?" Charlie sat up, her eyebrows creased.

"Yeah." He nodded. "When they took him to the barn, Carl snuck in. Wanted to see it happen."

"God." Charlie shook her head, she couldn't fathom why Carl would want to see someone die.

"Is there a plan?" Josh asked. "Like, trying the drop off again or-" He was cut off by a scream echoing through the air and all three jumped, Charlie and Josh scrambling to their feet as more screams echoed.

"That way." Mason pointed towards the sound and they all took off across the field, Charlie pulled her knife from his sheath as the two guys pulled out the guns they had been carrying. Charlie was panting, running as fast as her legs would carry her, she met up with Rick, who had his gun by his side as he ran.

"What's happening?" She asked, still running.

"I don't-"

"Dale!" Andrea shouted and the man screamed in agony, Charlie pushed herself to go faster.

"Help! Over here!" Daryl shouted, waving his arms to flag down the others and by the time they had reached them, Daryl was on his knees next to the old man and a dead walker laid in the grass a few feet away.

"Oh, no." Charlie stumbled backwards at the sight before her – Dale's stomach was ripped open and his guts were hanging out, there was blood everywhere. "No." Tears filled her eyes as Rick rushed past her, kneeling next to the man on the ground as the others finally made it to them.

"Hey, Charlie." Mason tugged the girl back, turning her away from the bloody mess as he pulled her into his chest and she buried her face in his hoodie. "I got you." He mumbled.

"Rick!" Lori shouted, running across the field towards them.

"All right, just listen to my voice." Rick tried to keep Dale calm, well, as calm as he could given that his stomach was just ripped open. "Listen to me, all right? Just listen to me. Okay, hold on now. Get Hershel!" He shouted over his shoulder as Andrea dropped to her knees next to the man that laid on the ground. "He needs blood. We got to operate now."

"Hang on, Dale." Andrea's voice shook with a sob she was trying to hold back. "Hang on."

"Listen to me. Okay, listen to my voice." Rick got his attention as the man groaned in pain. "All right? Please." He turned to look over his shoulder. "Hershel! We need Hershel! Dale, we're gonna get help. We're here. Just hold on."

"What happened?" Hershel rushed towards them, stopping upon seeing the state Dale was in before he suck to the ground beside them,

"What can we do?" Rick looked over at the vet, his voice shaky. "Can we move him?"

"He won't make the trip." Hershel shook his head and Charlie turned her head, glancing to the side as tears rolled down her cheeks, soaking into Mason's hoodie as he held her to him. Her body shook with another sob, because despite the last day or so, she liked Dale. He was a good guy, he always wanted to do the right thing and he wasn't afraid to speak his mind. They'd had many conversions back at the quarry when they were on watch together, stories she wished she had better committed to memory in that moment.

"You have to do the operation here." Rick pushed himself to his feet. "Glenn, get back to the house."

"Rick." Hershel stopped him, standing up next to him and he shook his head.

"No!"

"He's suffering." Andrea sobbed. "Do something!" She shouted and Rick pulled his gun from his hosteler, aiming it right at Dale's head as the dying man groaned in pain. Rick took a shaky breath, his hand shaking as he looked down at the man, a man he had considered a friend, family even but he couldn't bring himself to pull the trigger. He looked up when a hand covered his, taking the gun from him and Daryl kneeled down, the gun aimed at Dale's head. Dale raised his head, nodded as best he could, letting him know that it was okay.

"Sorry, brother." With that he pulled the trigger and a loud shot rang out. Charlie jumped, tucking her face into Mason's chest as her hands fisted into the back of his hoodie. Mason tucked his head into her shoulder, fighting back his own tears but it was a losing battle. Josh took a step back, running a hand down his face, his eyes brimming with tears as the sobs of the others echoed around them. 

NOVA SPEAKS !

so, here's another update!! we've only, like,
four more chapters until then end!!

and i am hoping to have book two out at
some point but i'm not sure when. i've kinda been
stuck in a twilight headspace, speaking of which... please go check out my emmett cullen fic let down

i'd really appreciate!!

alright, any speculation for the next couple of chapters or even book two? i wanna see what y'all think is / might happen.

thank you so much for reading. this book really does mean a lot to me and i'm actually super proud of it and my characters!