The sound of birdsong and the pleasant warmth of the sun caressing her skin made Evelyn open her eyes. She was standing in the middle of her meadow, the stream bubbling cheerfully nearby. A golden haze filled the clearing, the serenity of her surroundings falling over her like a blanket.

A small smile crept its way onto her lips as she looked down at her bare feet. Her pale toes contrasted sharply with the emerald grass beneath her skin. Wildflowers sprung up through the grass and dirt sporadically around her. She was comfortable... serene. She let out a breathy sigh; if this was what heaven felt like, she never wanted to leave.

There was no sound of breath or shuffling of feet, no shifting body weight or cleared throat, but somehow, Evelyn knew she was no longer alone. She turned, and the smile that brightened her eyes was dazzling.

Jasper stood across from her in the clearing, golden hair shining and skin sparkling like diamonds in the sunlight. Oh, how she had forgotten the savage beauty of his face. For a moment she cursed herself for her human inability to remember. How could she have let herself forget the way his hair curled at the nape of his neck? The dimple that showed when he smiled that crooked smile that she missed so much? The love in his eyes whenever he looked at her?

Their gazes met, and the moment that he smiled at her, she was running. Within seconds, she had launched herself into his arms, throwing her own around his neck as he held her against his his chest.

"Jasper," she breathed, his name rolling off her tongue just as perfectly as it always had before. She closed her eyes and inhaled the smell of the forest that always seemed to linger on him.

He squeezed her tighter. "My love," he murmured in her ear. "My Evelyn. I've missed you so much."

A shiver crept down her spine at his words, at his cool breath in her ear. She had imagined this moment for months, and to hear him say the words that she had desperately wanted to hear for so long made the weight of all they had been through fall like feathers from her shoulders.

"I've missed you, too," she told him, leaning back to caress his cheek with her shaking hand. "Ever since the moment you left." Her eyes drank in every inch of his face as if he was going to disappear any second.

"Have you?" He asked, and the tone of his voice made Evelyn's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "Have you really missed me?"

"What do you mean? Of course I have! I love you. I've only ever loved you, even after you left."

His eyes were pained as he nodded towards something behind her across the clearing. Frowning, she allowed him to turn her around and followed his gaze towards the sound of voices that she now heard coming from the middle of the golden meadow. Cautiously, she let him guide her towards the two figures lying on the grass before them. When she realized who it was, she came to an abrupt stop, her breath catching in her throat.

She immediately recognized herself and Will laying together on the grass. Evelyn saw herself smiling at something Will was saying, and her heart thumped loudly in her ears because she knew Jasper could hear the words, too. After a few seconds of watching the pair on the ground, she realized that she was wearing the same outfit as the day Will found her in the meadow all those weeks ago. She was looking at a memory.

There was nothing romantic in between her and Will. Absolutely nothing. But as she watched herself and Will laugh together on the grass, she couldn't fight the odd feeling of guilt simmering in her stomach.

"You've forgotten me," Jasper said, the soft lilt of his voice somber as he spoke in her ear. "You say you love me, and yet..."

Evelyn shook her head furiously, spinning around and taking a step away from Jasper to properly face him. "No -- no, you're wrong, Jasper! I love you! This," she said, gesturing behind her, "this is nothing. He's my friend... he's been there for me since you left. That's it, that's all it is." She willed Jasper to understand her, willed herself to understand what she was feeling.

"I don't think I would call us nothing, Evelyn."

The sudden sound of a voice behind her made her jump. She whirled around expecting to see two figures still lying in the grass but was instead met with the sad eyes of only Will. He was standing feet away with his hands shoved into his pockets, golden eyes sad as her looked at her.

"I didn't -- Will, all I meant was --"

"All you meant was what?" He asked, nodding towards Jasper, who was still standing behind her. "That no matter what happens, you'll just fall right back into his arms as soon as he shows his face again? Evelyn, have you forgotten that he left you? You meant nothing to him."

Evelyn shook her head again, wishing he would stop speaking.

"You've let him come between us," Jasper breathed.

She faced Jasper again, willing him to understand. "No, it's not like that at all. You left me alone, Jasper..."

But Jasper was no longer happy like he was moments before. He shook his head, his lips pressed into a thin line. "You've made your choice." Suddenly, the edges of his silhouette began to flicker; in seconds, Evelyn saw that he was beginning to fade. She stepped forward, her hand outstretched to touch him one last time before he was gone again.

"Let him go," Will said from behind her, pressing a cold, stone-like hand against her back. "You're better without him."

"I want to go with him," she said, tears beginning to fall down her flushed cheeks. She turned to face her friend once more. "But if I do, I have to leave you, don't I?"

Will nodded, his expression grim. "It's your choice, Evelyn. Hold on to the past, or embrace the future. You can't have both anymore."

***

Evelyn's eyes flashed open to the darkness of her bedroom. She blinked once; she was breathing hard, and her back and sheets were soaked with sweat. She blinked again, noticing a tear running down her cheek. She wiped it away, but within moments it was replaced by another.

He had been so real; she could still feel his arms wrapped around her and the warmth of the sun on her back as he held her in the meadow. She sat up slowly, her body beginning to shake with suppressed sobs as she wrapped her arms tightly around her torso. The sharp pain in her chest from when Jasper had left all those months ago was back; she could feel her old wounds reopening as she squeezed herself tightly in a weak attempt to hold back her cries.

There it all was again: the pain, the anger, the grief, and the loneliness all at once. But there was also something else... something even worse.

Guilt.

She knew that it had only been a dream, but the sinking feeling of shame in her stomach when Jasper had seen Will in their meadow was still just as real now in the dark quiet of her bedroom. But why? She knew she didn't love Will the way she had loved Jasper, so why did she feel like she had been caught doing something terrible when the Jasper in her dream confronted her?

Why did she feel bad for telling Will that there was nothing between them in her dream?

Why did these things never seem to get easier?

***

"Hey, are you okay, Ev? You seem kind of out of it today."

Angela's kind and concerned voice pulled Evelyn from her somber thoughts. The noisy chatter of the cafeteria filled her ears once more, and she averted her gaze from the window to the bespectacled girl beside her.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just didn't sleep very well, I guess." She offered her friend a small smile since she knew her words didn't sound convincing.

Angela nodded, not completely convinced, but nonetheless gave her a smile and gentle pat on the hand before turning to talk to Jessica about something. Evelyn sighed, picking up her fork and stabbing haphazrdly at the salad on her tray in front of her.

"Are you really okay?" Bella asked from beside her. Her chocolate brown eyes were filled with concern, and she placed her hand on Evelyn's free one. Her skin was ice cold.

"I had a... weird dream last night," Evelyn answered, staring into her salad. "About Jasper. And Will." Though Bella did not know Will was a vampire yet, she did know that he and Evelyn were close by the way she talked about him. "It was just really surreal. It was like they were both actually there, you know?"

Bella studied her friend carefully. "And it brought back some uncomfortable feelings, I'm guessing, right?" At the look on her friend's face, Bella smiled softly. "Your eyes are still a little puffy. I can tell you've been crying."

Evelyn nodded, lowering her eyes again. "Yeah, I guess you could say that. Does it really look that obvious that I've been crying?"

"No, I can only tell because I know you. Do you wanna talk about it?"

Evelyn laughed, shaking her head. "Oh, God no, not here. I'll tell you about it later, I promise."

Bella nodded, but Evelyn didn't miss the obvious skepticism and concern still lingering on her face as she turned to join in Angela and Jessica's conversation. She was glad that her friend didn't push her. She didn't know how to explain her thoughts and feelings to herself, let alone another person.

She hoped that Bella would forget about it and not ask her again.

***

Later that afternoon, Evelyn hummed to herself as she wiped down tables in the dining room of her aunt's diner. It was a quiet day, with only a few patrons scattered around the restaurant eating or talking quietly with their companions. It was a good way to distract herself from her scattered thoughts; she could lose herself in the mindless work and forget about the emotional storm brewing inside of her.

It took a few moments, but when she was satisfied with the cleanliness of the tables, she grabbed all of her used rags and leisurely made her way into the kitchen to throw them with the dirty linens. Just as she passed the threshold, the doorbell jingled cheerily behind her to signal the arrival of a new customer. Evelyn sighed and frowned to herself, wishing for once that she could just disappear and go home. She had hoped Marie would let her go home early, so she figured the faster that she served this person, the faster she could leave.

Evelyn offered Will, who was washing dishes in the back, a quick, small smile before returning to the dining room. She didn't want to talk to him yet, because she knew that he would pick up on her odd mood immediately. She needed more time to think of a lie to tell him that he wouldn't immediately see through.

When she emerged from the kitchen, her eyes fell on a boy who had just sat down at the bar. He was engrossed in a book, and from looking at him Evelyn could tell that he was around her age, maybe even a little bit older. His golden brown hair was tousled, like he had just run his fingers through it haphazardly. He looked up at the sound of her approaching footsteps, and her gaze was met with kind brown eyes and a warm, inviting smile. She couldn't help but smile back.

"Hi," she started, coming to a stop on the other side of the counter in front of him. "Is there anything I can get you?"

She watched the boy survey her face, and she oddly felt her neck heat up as his eyes settled on hers. "Just a coffee, please... " He paused, his eyes flickering to the nametag pinned on her blouse. "... Evelyn." He smiled again, and she couldn't help but think he had a very pretty smile for a human boy.

"Sure, I'll be right back with that," she said, offering a small smile in return. She couldn't help but grin to herself as she turned the machine on to brew a fresh pot for him. Usually, her customers were the older, grandparent-type residents of Forks that came to the diner because they had nothing else to do. It was rare that she got someone her own age; she couldn't say that she was complaining.

He was reading again when she brought him the drink, but that same pretty smile was back when his eyes fell on her. "Thank you, that was very fast."

"I try to be quick," she answered, leaning against the counter as she watched him take a sip. "Is this your first time here? I don't think I've ever seen you before."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Oh, no, I grew up in Forks. I go to school in Seattle, I'm just home visiting my parents for the weekend. My name is Riley, by the way. Riley Biers."

Evelyn perked up, recognizing the family name. "My aunt is friends with your mom, I think. They go to Port Angeles for shopping trips once a month.

Riley laughed, a full, hearty sound that filled the room. "I remember those, my mom used to make me go with her when I was a kid. Imagine a ten year old boy running around with a bunch of women on a shopping trip... at the time I couldn't think of anything worse that I could be doing."

"It must have been torture for you," Evelyn agreed, fake sympathy in her voice and a teasing smile playing on her lips.

He laughed again, cocking his head slightly as he studied her. "Have you always been in Forks? I know I would have remembered seeing you around."

"No, I just moved here a little over a year ago. We wouldn't have met." She paused, grinning at him. "I would have remembered you, too."

Riley nodded, playing with the handle of his coffee mug. "You moved to Forks? I don't think I've met anyone whose done that. What school do you go to, then?"

"Just the high school down the road. I'm graduating in June." She didn't know why she was telling him this, but it felt nice to talk to someone like a normal person for once. Someone not involved and who didn't know her history.

Evelyn could have sworn she saw his face fall slightly when she said she was in high school; the thought made her smile to herself.

"High school, huh? I hated that place. Are you planning on going to college anywhere close by?"

She shrugged, offering him a grin. "I've applied to some places, but I'm not sure, yet. Nothing's really caught my eye."

Riley leaned forward, a playful smirk playing at his lips. "Well I might be biased, but Seattle is a pretty great place to go to school. You'll have to check it out, sometime."

Evelyn laughed, picking up the coffee pot to go and refill the mug of another customer who was now beckoning her over with an empty cup. "I'll keep that in mind. It was nice to meet you, Riley."

"It was nice to meet you, too, Evelyn. Good luck with the whole college search thing. I know it can be tough."

"I'll do my best," she called back over her shoulder, and she quickly turned away to hide her smile when she saw the way he was looking at her.

She helped a few of the scattered patrons in the dining room, but when she turned back to return to speak to Riley, he was gone. Will was already there gathering his cup and napkins, and she saw him scowl as he stared at one of the last napkins laying on the table. She frowned in confusion as she watched him shove it into his pocket and pick up the dishes a little too aggressively before he disappeared into the kitchen again.

After another hour had passed, Marie emerged from the kitchen and found Evelyn folding silverware into paper napkins at the counter. Evelyn was bored out of her mind; there were only two occupied tables and nothing for her to do. Thankfully, her aunt had come to her rescue.

"Hon, would you want to head out early? I don't think it's going to get much more busy than this. I know you have homework, I can handle it here."

Evelyn was secretly overjoyed that she could go home, but she didn't want to seem too eager to leave her aunt without help. "Are you sure? I can stay if you need me too, I don't mind."

Marie smiled and pulled her into her side in a warm embrace. "Don't worry about me. You spend too much time here, anyway. I'll see you later tonight when I get home?"

Evelyn laughed, squeezing her aunt back with both of her arms. "Of course. I always wait up for you, don't I?" She pulled away to stretch her arms out above her head. "I'll leave my car here for you, if you want. I can walk home, it isn't far and I don't mind."

"I don't know," Marie said, chewing her lip. "It's getting late, I don't want you out by yourself in the dark. Especially with the animal attacks happening around the area."

Evelyn knew the real cause of the attacks in the area were not caused by any animals at all; however, she couldn't reveal that information to her aunt, probably ever. But she knew she would be more than safe walking home with all of the patrolling that the wolves had been busy with over the past week. She was about to begin her attempt to reassure her aunt when a voice behind her spoke first.

"I can walk her home, Ms. Masen. My shift just ended and I'm headed that way anyway to meet a friend." Will paused, his dark golden eyes shifting from Marie to Evelyn. "Of course, only if it's okay with you, Ev." He had already put away his apron and nametag, and was holding his worn leather jacket in his hand as he patiently waited for a response.

Marie looked surprised at Will for a moment before giving her niece a look that said she would certainly be asking about this later. With a smile, Marie walked over and patted him on the shoulder. "That's so kind of you, Will. I think that's a great idea, don't you, Evelyn?"

The girl had to hold back a laugh as her aunt pointedly raised her eyebrows at her. She felt a little awkward because of the strange dream that she had had the night before, but she and Will were friends, weren't they? It was only a dream; it's not like she had to tell him what it was about, or that she had even dreamed of him at all, right?

She smiled, finally meeting Will's eyes. "Yeah, sure, that would be great. Let me go and grab my coat and then we can leave."

"Perfect, I'll wait for you outside," he said, his dazzling smile making Evelyn avert her eyes and gather up the utensil sets that she had folded to put away.

"Thank you so much for watching out for my girl," Marie said, pulling Will in for a side hug. "I knew there was a reason I liked you."

"I'm just looking out for a friend," Will said, before turning to Evelyn once more. "I'll see you outside?"

Evelyn nodded, putting the silverware bundles in a basket under the bar. "I'll be right there."

The two women watched him walk outside the diner in silence, Marie only daring to speak when the door had shut behind him. "Well, that was certainly a nice offer, Ev." She raised her eyebrows, a sly grin on her lips. "Very gentlemanly, I think."

Evelyn rolled her eyes. "Marie, it's not like that. We're just friends. That's it." That's all it can ever be.

"I know, honey. I'm just saying that it's a nice gesture, that's all." The sly smirk only seemed to grow bigger. Evelyn groaned, moving past her towards the kitchen door to go grab her coat.

"I'll see you at home," she grumbled, her face souring when she heard Marie's unapologetic giggle float through the door behind her.

Evelyn quickly tossed her apron and notepad in her aunt's office and grabbed her jacket and backpack. She took special care to leave her car keys in a prominent spot on Marie's desk in hopes that her scatter-brained aunt wouldn't forget or misplace them. With one last look around the room, she made her way out of the kitchen and through the dining room to the front door, pointedly avoiding Marie's prying eyes on her back as she exited the building.

The brisk March air wasted no time in enveloping her as she stepped out into the night. The cold was refreshing in a way; she had been inside all day, and it was nice to breathe in the wet smell of the trees and damp pavement. The sun had just set but it was not quite dark outside, so they would have enough light to walk back to her house in peace.

Will was leaning against the building when she came outside, a frown on his face, but as soon as he saw her he stood up straight and waited for her to reach him before they began the walk to her house, side by side.

They walked in silence for a few moments. Evelyn could sense that he was in a poor mood, and she couldn't help but wonder what was pissing him off so much today. Normally, he was the one in a cheerful mood when they were together. It was odd to see him so brooding.

After a few seconds, he pulled something from his jacket pocket and held it out to her. "For you," he said with just a hint of bitterness in his voice. "From that boy that you served earlier."

Evelyn frowned as she took what turned out to be one of the paper napkins that her aunt used at the restaurant. It was difficult to see with the lack of light, but upon further inspection she found a note and a phone number scribbled messily on one of the corners:

Evelyn,

Call me if you're ever in Seattle. I'd love to show you around.

Riley

She couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her lips when she read the endearing note. "Well that's sweet of him. He was really nice."

Beside her, Will let out a scoff. "He didn't even ask you to your face. It's a bit cowardly, if you ask me."

"Cowardly?" Evelyn said, an amused look on her face as she eyed her friend. "It's just a note, Will. It's not that serious." She paused for a moment. "Is this why you're so annoyed tonight?" she asked tentatively, remembering the way she saw him scowl when he picked up the note earlier.

"Of course I'm not upset about that, why would I care about some human boy attempting to flirt with you," he said quickly, averting his eyes. "All I'm saying is that it seemed a little... lazy, in my opinion."

"I don't think having a thirty second conversation with someone warrants some elaborate proposal, or something." She paused, eyeing the note once more. "I don't think it was lazy. Simple, maybe. Easy. No stress, or pressure, or strings attached."

"I guess I can see why that might appeal to you," he said at last, avoiding her eyes as he looked straight ahead while they walked. After a few more moments of slightly uncomfrotable silence, he met her eyes once more. "So... do you think you'll call him?"

Evelyn stared at the wrinkled napkin in her hand. What would her life have been like had she not met Jasper or the Cullens? She could see it in her head as if it were a movie: graduating high school and going to college, meeting a nice human boy like Riley Biers in some place like a coffee shop or in a class, going on awkward dates, falling in love, and getting married and starting a family one day. It would have been as easy as breathing; effortless, simple, and full of love. But now? Somewhow she felt tainted... like she had been damaged. Because even if she managed to fall for someone like Riley, she knew that she would never stop comparing it to her first love, the once she had felt so deeply both when it happened and when it was lost.

She cleared her throat, which had become tight as she imagined the life she could have had. "No... no I don't think I will. I'm not ready for that. I don't know when I will be," she confessed, crumpling up the note and shoving it into her jacket pocket. When he didn't respond, she met his eyes again. "So if you aren't upset about the note... what are you angry about?"

Will let out a frustrated sigh, running a pale hand through his messy brown hair. "It's just all of this stuff with the wolves and Victoria. Somehow she knows that I can't cross the treaty line so she's staying in their territory. I literally can't do anything to help them catch her."

"Well they took down Laurent easy enough, I'm sure they can get her too," Evelyn offered, both to reassure him and to make herself feel better about the fear simmering in her stomach at the mention of her name.

He shook his head again, his eyes hard. "No, Ev, you don't understand. I want to be the one to kill her. I need to be the one to do it. She's hurt people that I care about and I want to be the one to end it."

"What has she done to you?" Evelyn asked, slightly afraid to hear the answer. "Why have you been hunting her for so long?"

Will sighed, shoving his hands in his pockets once more. "A few decades ago, I came across a human that I became... attached to, I guess. Her name is Rebecca."

Evelyn felt her eyes widen. "So you fell in love with a human?"

"No, it wasn't like that," he said, shaking his head. "She was more like a best friend. I honestly don't remember how she found out what I was but she never judged or hated me for it. She saw me and everything I'd done and didn't judge me for it. At the time, it was what I needed most. For a human, an innocent, to see me and not believe that I was a monster."

"You're not," Evelyn agreed, nudging him gently. "You can be an annoying ass sometimes, but you're not a monster." At the small smile on his face, she felt her smile grow, too. "What happened to her?"

"We were in a small town in North Carolina at the time. James and Victoria happened to be passing through, and then he smelled her." Will's nostrils flared in rage at the memory. "I tried to keep her safe, I really did. But he got to her. I didn't find her until after they'd gone and left her for dead. But he failed to kill her. She woke up three days later as a vampire."

"Oh," Evelyn said, remembering the viciousness of James and the pain she had experienced because of him. "But I'm sure you didn't fail her. She survived, in a different way, I guess."

"She never wanted this life," he said. "She made me promise that I would never turn her. And I intended to keep that promise, no matter how much it pained me to think about one day losing her. She became severely depressed, refusing to feed and hiding out in caves in the woods. I tried to teach her to feed from animals, like me, but the thought of drinking blood still kills her."

Evelyn nodded, her heart aching for her friend who had experienced so much pain and loss in his lifetime. "Where is she now?"

"She's safe, and that's all that matters," Will said, nodding to himself. "I'm going back to her once Victoria is gone. She's like family, and I promised her I would make James and Victoria pay for what they did to her. But it looks like Carlisle made my job a little bit easier last year."

Evelyn felt a shiver run down her spine at the thought of that night in the ballet studio. It was something she never tried to dwell on for long. "Yeah, I guess he did." They had reached the front of her house now. She paused before the front steps, taking his hand. "But I hate to see you let revenge control your life. Is all that hatred really worth it?"

Will smiled sadly at her, squeezing her hand back. "I know, Ev, but I have to make up for my past mistakes. All of them, not just with Rebecca. That's why I'm trying to protect you, too. I would never forgive myself if Victoria did to you what she and James did to Rebecca. I don't know, I guess in my head it feels like if I keep you safe from her, I'm not such a terrible person, you know?"

"I seriously doubt that you've done anything so unforgivable that you have to spend the rest of your existence making up for it," Evelyn said, offering him a small smile. "From what I've seen, you are a good person, Will. I wouldn't be friends with you if I didn't think you were."

The vampire smiled at her sadly. "I hope you're right, Ev. I really hope you are." Slowly, as if he were unsure of himself, he pulled his hand from hers and instead pulled the human girl into his arms for a tight embrace. "Sleep well, tonight. I won't be far if you need me."

Evelyn couldn't help relaxing into his arms, letting out the breath she had been holding against his chest. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest, and she prayed that he wouldn't notice. The silence around them was charged, and it was clear that somehow, things had changed between them. She didn't know when, or how, but that, she knew for sure.

"Thank you for being such a good friend to me," she said at last, pulling away after the slightly too long hug. "I don't really know what I would have done without you here the past couple of months."

Will cleared his throat awkardly. "I'm glad that I could be there for you." He smiled at her, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I'll see you later, okay? Goodnight, Ev."

"Goodnight," she said, her voice as soft as a whisper as she watched him walk away and into the woods beside her house. She had that same odd feeling of guilt in her stomach again, the same one she had felt that morning when she had awoken from her dream.

Friend. The word hung in the air around her, and it had hung poignantly in the air between them before he had left. Had she hurt his feelings, making him leave so abruptly? At this point, did she really even understand her own? The napkin felt heavy in her pocket as she chewed her lip, her eyes still trained on where Will had disappeared into the trees.

It's fine, she finally thought to herself, climbing the steps and entering her house. Everything will turn out fine.

***

hi hello no i did not die or disappear off of the face of the earth, life has just been insane and i honestly don't know how it's been over two months since I've updated; time has flown by! the next chapter or two will be out in the next few days, i'm already working on them and I'm so excited lol things do be picking up >:)

note: just wanna say that this story is not gonna be a love triangle (or is it?? hehe nah I'm jk)-- i know it may seem like it rn but im not a huge fan tbh and i have other plans for will :))) that's allllll I'm gonna say

love yall and thanks for being so patient, i hope everyone has been well since i've been gone!