Episode: Season 4 - Heaven and Hell Pt. 2

"Parker! Parker!" Dean called out into the night, his voice loud in the silence.

Quickly I wiped at the tears on my face, brushing them off as he rounded the corner. His face fell when he spotted me and he walked over to the Impala. He stopped just in front of the hood and slowly, I lifted up my head to meet his eyes. Candy-apple green connected to my dark brown orbs and I saw sympathy there. Immediately, I looked away and Dean let out a sigh before climbing up onto the hood beside me.

"Parker...what Anna said back there..." he started, shaking his head as his green eyes hardened, "It's not true. Okay, me and Sam - we don't think of you that way. Nobody in that room does - not even Ruby and that's saying something since she's a demon,"

I tried to crack a smile but it faltered on my face and I felt Dean place a hand on my back gently, fingers rubbing up and down in a comforting manner. Silence ensued then and I was grateful for it, not saying a word - not even when he removed his hand. I thought back to my childhood and the racism I faced then, even if it was unbeknownst to me. My eyes drifted over to Dean who was looking up at the stars, his profile lit up by the moonlight. And for the first time, I realized that maybe I didn't have to hide things about myself any longer. Maybe...maybe it was okay to let Dean in.

"It first started when I was a kid - other children would stare at me all the time. I never understood why, though. They'd just gawk and it would make me so mad I'd stick my tongue out at them," I admitted, making Dean crack a brief smile before I continued, "But when I got older...it got worse..."

I bit my lip, glancing down at my hands that were clasped together over my knees. Dean noticed this and gently, he placed a hand over mine. His hand was rough and calloused but soothing in a way I'd only known Dean to be. Taking a deep breath, I continued.

"Older people started to do it. Mostly white people. They'd just...give me dirty looks and outright glare at me. I guess I always assumed it was because they knew we didn't belong...they knew we weren't from around there," I shrugged, thinking of all the times the boys and I had traveled to different towns for cases, "I never could understand it until one day...one day I finally realized it was me. My hair, my eyes, my skin - I was different from them..."

Hot tears filled my eyes then as the memories came back in painful flashes, "One day in particular, you, me, and Sam had gone to the store to get some food since we were out. You'd left to go get something down a different aisle and Sam and I went to go look at something in the cold section. There'd been a group of people standing there - three elderly, white people. I didn't really think anything of it, though..."

I trailed off then, feeling the words get stuck in my throat. Dean caressed the skin on the back of my hand, fingers making circles as he urged me to continue.

"And as soon as I came up to look where they were, one woman moved off to the other side of the aisle.... She tried to get away from me, glaring at me like I was diseased or something!" I spat, anger rising inside of me, "Like being mixed-race was some horrible sickness or-or something I was supposed to be ashamed of..."

Dean let out a breath and I finally turned to face him. He wore a shocked expression and I knew I had surprised him.

"Parksy...why didn't you tell us? Why didn't-" he began to ask but I just shook my head.

"What good would it have done?" I cut him off, shrugging.

He was silent a moment before a sigh escaped his mouth, obviously thinking about what Anna had said earlier.

"Want me to take her out? Thin out the herd of angels?" he asked me, a serious expression on his face.

I snickered, finally cracking a smile.

Dean smiled, too, "I knew that would at least get a smile out of you,"

I shook my head, pursing my lips slightly in amusement at his signature brand of humor. His fingers intertwined with mine just then and I glanced down at our hands before looking back up at him. I sucked in a sharp breath at our close proximity, our noses almost touching. And as he spoke to me, I could feel his warm breath fan my face.

"Parker...next time that happens, I want you to tell me. Don't bottle it all up," he told me seriously, concern radiating in his eyes.

He let a sigh escape his mouth and he bit his lip before continuing, "You're my girlfriend now...and I care-"

He cut himself off then, cursing under his breath at the words falling from his lips as faint music drifted out from Bobby's house then. I briefly tilted my head to the side in confusion. What was this all about? He ran a hand over his face in frustration, slipping off the car hood before meeting my gaze.

"I'm not a perfect person..." Hoobastank sang out from the house.

"Look, I'm not good at these kinds of things - feelings and all that pansy stuff. I don't know how to say it," Dean admitted to me and I bit my lip at the omission.

"There's many things I wish I didn't do..."

He was about to continue when this time, I cut him off as I slid off the car hood to stand in front of him. Gently, I reached up a hand and cupped his cheek.

"But I continue learning, I never meant to do those things to you..."

"Hey...I know. I do. I'm not good at this sort of thing either. If you haven't already noticed, I'm not that great at getting close to people," I confessed, shrugging, "I push people away because it's easier. I...it makes me feel vulnerable to let people in. And I've never liked that feeling,"

"And so I have to say before I go, that I just want you to know..."

Suddenly, Dean rested a hand on my hip, leaning in to press his forehead on mine as my own hand slid down to his neck.

"Maybe we can learn how to trust together," he said, fingers caressing my side.

"I've found a reason for me to change who I used to be..."

He swallowed then and his eyes flicked to mine. I could see every fleck of the different shades of green in his eyes in that moment - all swirling together like fallen leaves. Maybe Dean and I always had been kindred spirits...we just never admitted it before now. But what he said next shocked me to my core - shaking those thoughts from my mind.

"A reason to start over new..."

"I love you, Parker... I think I always have..." he breathed out but before I had the chance to react or to even say it back, Dean's lips were on mine.

"And the reason is you..."

It was a simple kiss - soft and gentle just like the other times he had kissed me. But when we broke apart, I saw a different emotion in his eyes. The song on the radio must have changed then as the beats of a new song floated out to us.

"All along it was a fever, a cold-sweat hot-headed believer..." Rihanna crooned and I nearly smiled at the song choice.

"What was that for?" I asked him, tilting my head to the side.

"You know, our last night on Earth. All that," he smirked and I rolled my eyes playfully.

"I threw my hands in the air, said, "Show me something"..."

I was silent a moment and Dean frowned before I spoke up.

"Dean?"

"Hm?"

"I love you, too."

"He said, "If you dare, come a little closer"..."

Those emerald orbs lit up and I crashed my lips into his. His mouth was soft like velvet, gliding across mine as he pulled off his jacket, letting it fall onto the grass.

"Round and around and around and around we go..."

He led me to the Impala and we climbed inside. I leaned back onto the leather seat as Dean kissed me again, my fingers slipping through the short strands of his blond hair. He tasted like apple pie and alcohol on my tongue - the two flavors mixing together perfectly.

"Oh now, tell me now, tell me now, tell me now you know..."

Being here with him like this...it was bliss. He deepened the kiss then and I sighed into it, his lips so soft on mine.

"Not really sure how to feel about it, something in the way you move..."

Night had already fallen around us, the stars twinkling through the glass-paned windows of the backseat as Dean pulled my body flush against his.

"Makes me feel like I can't live without you, it takes me all the way..."

It was then that I knew I couldn't live without Dean. I loved him too much to ever be parted from him again... His hand moved up my arm, leaving a trail of fire on my skin where he touched me as his lips briefly moved to my neck.

"I want you to stay..."

He placed kisses on the delicate skin there before moving back to my lips. All I could feel was his lips on mine in those moments and his skin on my skin. I was so in love with this man.

Note: Okay, so my reasoning for putting the part about Parker dealing with racism growing up is because I actually have dealt with it myself. In fact, the story of Parker in the grocery store is something that really happened to me. I'm Irish, Mexican, Louisiana Creole, Scottish, & Welsh with some other distant ancestry as well. Honestly I'm so proud to be a mix of the things that I am but at the same time, I find myself wanting to be just like everyone else. And I wanted to show that because I know there are some who don't think dealing with racism and having to suffer rude comments and glares and being treated differently is a big deal. But the people that say that are not mixed so they've never had those experiences.