⊱ ──────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ──────── ⊰

𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗚𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗘

CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
going back in time

⊱ ──────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ──────── ⊰

WHEN OLIVER ASKED Juliet and Barry about that favor, she just wasn't really expecting it to be right away. However, this seemed urgent, so Juliet couldn't really blame him for asking them to do it so quickly.

So, Juliet had actually found out what and where Nanda Parbat was. It was a hidden city beneath the Hindu Kush mountain range, where the League of Assassins was. (Juliet still could not believe that was a thing.) Oliver had apparently sent Felicity, Thea, Ray, Laurel, Diggle, and Malcolm Merlyn there and left them to go back to Starling with the leader of the League.

Honestly, Juliet was still confused. She didn't know what the fuck was going on with Oliver, or the whole virus in Starling City in general. All she was told was that they needed to rescue everyone from the city, which Juliet was more than happy to do.

Juliet had teleported her and Barry to Nanda Parbat. The city was indeed very hidden. She had them up high on a rock, staring down at the ruins below. It was quiet — very quiet. The only light inside seemed to be by fire and lanterns. She guessed the twenty-first century hadn't reached them yet.

"Be careful," Juliet ordered to Barry. "Assassins, remember? If I haven't lost you to any of these Metahumans, I better fucking not lose you to assassins."

"You will not lose me to assassins," Barry promised. "And I better not lose you to assassins."

"With my powers? No way." Juliet pressed up onto her toes and kissed him quickly. "Meet you inside."

Barry sped away from her. Juliet let out a deep breath and teleported inside, only to find herself in a hallway. In front of her was two guards covered from head-to-toe except their eyes, leading a woman prisoner somewhere. Juliet walked forwards, but the clicking of her boots caught the assassins' attention. They immediately turned around and pointed their weapons at her. She barely spared a glance at them and continued walking while flicking both of her hands to the side, sending both of them flying into the wall. They crumpled to the ground, now unconscious. Juliet stopped next to the woman and used her mind to unlock the chains, which clattered to the floor.

She gave her a two-fingered salute before teleporting away. Juliet jumped around a couple times, knocking out a couple assassins along the way, before she got to where Barry was and walked inside a room. It was quite large, and four more assassins were chained up together in the middle, all struggling to get out. On the far side was what seemed to be a pool of water with candles surrounding it.

"Nice," Juliet commented.

"Thanks," Barry replied. He then looked at the pool of water. "You guys have a hot tub? Nice."

"Hm. I maybe wouldn't go in it. It kind of gives me the creeps."

"And we've got people to find." Barry approached her and put an arm around her waist. "Let's go."

He then sped them away. Juliet saw nothing but blurred lights for a second before it stopped. She got set down on her feet, only to see they were standing in a secluded hallway in front of a glass door. And sure enough, everybody Oliver had listed was in that room behind the door, all of them looking quite rough and chained up.

"Hey, you guys," Barry began. He then spun around. "Wow. I mean, this is like a real dungeon!"

Juliet blinked. "I'm dating a golden retriever."

"Barry, Juliet," Felicity let out.

"Felicity, babe, you know I love you, but why did you just tell our secret identities to a super villain?" Juliet complained. Her eyes then slid over to Merlyn. "Uh . . . no offense."

"None taken," Merlyn responded. "Now get us out of here."

"All right, uh, stand back," Barry ordered.

Barry rubbed his hands together and they started to vibrate. He placed them on the door, which immediately shattered and allowed them to enter. Juliet and Barry helped them get their chains off before they all left their dungeon. Merlyn led them to another room, where there were a lot of swords and all of their weapons.

"Excellent," Diggle began. "How many assassins do you figure?"

"Uh, none," Barry answered. "They're all taking a little nappy time."

"Thank you," Felicity stated to Juliet and Barry. "And not to be greedy, but we could really use your help on this whole Starling City super virus thing."

Juliet sighed, her heart sinking. "Felicity, you know we would in a heartbeat, but Barry and I have to have a very pointed talk with Harrison Wells, which I am not looking forward to in the slightest." She looked at the others. "Ollie's got this, I'm sure."

"I wouldn't count on it," Diggle argued, making Juliet frown.

"Oliver hasn't been very forthcoming with his plans lately," Laurel added.

"I literally have no idea what's happening with him," Juliet admitted. "Confused is an understatement. All I know is that he got a haircut and a new outfit. But I do know one thing, and that's he needs all of you." She paused for a moment, giving them all a knowing look. "Even if he's too stubborn to admit it, which you know he is." Juliet smiled softly at them. "Good luck, guys."

She then extended her hand out to Barry. Barry took it, and Juliet teleported them away from Nanda Parbat back to Central City. There, they got changed back into their normal clothes before heading down to the pipeline, where the one person they had to see was. Juliet and Barry just stood there for a moment, staring at the closed door in front of them.

"Ready?" Juliet asked quietly. "Never mind, that's a stupid question. Don't answer that."

Barry sighed, but answered anyway. "No."

"Yeah, me neither." Juliet looked up at him. "It'll be okay."

He met her gaze. "Stay near me? Please?"

She nodded and leaned up, pressing a kiss to his jaw. "Always."

Barry then reached over and opened up the door to the Particle Accelerator on the screen. Juliet crossed her arms across her chest, her eyes narrowing as she watched Eobard Thawne, the man who she thought was Harrison Wells, come into view.

"What?" Thawne began. "No Big Belly Burger? It's one of the few perks of living in this time. We're out of cows where I come from."

Juliet gave him a blank stare.

"You don't care about that. You have questions. Go ahead."

"Not sure where to start . . . Thawne," Barry replied. "That is your real name — Eobard Thawne."

"Since the day I was born," Thawne confirmed.

"And when was that?"

"One-hundred and thirty-six years from now. That's not what you want to know. Go ahead, Barry." He gave the girl next to him a look. "Juliet. Ask it."

"Why did you kill my mother?" Barry questioned.

"Because I hate you," Thawne answered. "Not you now. You years from now."

"In the future."

"In a future, yes. We're enemies, rivals, opposites, reverses of one another."

"Why?" Barry inquired. "Wh-Why were we enemies?"

"It doesn't matter," Thawne insisted. "It doesn't . . . matter anymore. What matters is that neither of us was strong enough to defeat the other. Until I learned your secret. I learned your name. Barry Allen. And finally, I knew how to defeat you once and for all. Travel back in time, kill you as a child. Wipe you from the face of the Earth. But then you, future you, that is, followed me back, and we fought. We both landed some pretty solid shots. And then you, future you, got your younger self out of there. I was so mad. But then I thought . . . what if you were to suffer a tragedy? What if you were to suffer something so horrible, so traumatic that your child self could never recover? Then you would not become the Flash. And so I stabbed your mother in the heart, and I was free. Finally able to return to a future without the Flash, only to realize that in traveling back I'd lost my way home. Lost my ability to harness the Speed Force. And without it, I was stuck here. Stranded in this time, unable to return to my own. And the only way back was the Flash. But the Flash was gone, and so I created him, and in turn, I also created Scarlet."

Juliet got transported back to that night that felt like a million years ago. The red chemical in their lab spilling all over her, touching Barry's unconscious body only to be electrocuted by the residual lightning . . . the combination that changed her life forever.

"So I was never really part of your plan," Juliet voiced. "Your main focus was Barry, but then I stuck around. But you haven't trained me at all, and I know realize it's because you're afraid of what I can do. You don't want to see me reach my full potential because I'll become more powerful than you, even more than I already am. So secretly you've been studying more powers and trying to find a way to have them for yourself, because you could just alter all of reality to however you see fit." She squinted at him. "But you will never, ever, get my powers."

"Then why train me so much?" Barry added. "Why help J and I, even with her minimal training, save so many people?"

"Because I needed you to get fast," Thawne replied. "Fast enough to rupture the space-time barrier and create a stable wormhole through which I could return home."

"Why would I ever do that?"

"Because . . . Barry Allen, if you give me what I want, I'm gonna give you what you want. You can go back and save your mother. You can prevent your father from going to prison. You can reunite the Allen family."

Juliet's eyes widened. She slowly looked at Barry, her heart momentarily stopping.

Barry shook his head. "No. No, I don't believe you." He hit his fist against the glass of the cell, gritting his teeth in anger. "I want to kill you right now."

"I know that rage," Thawne said. "I used to feel that rage every time I looked upon you. And now, somehow, I know what Joe and Henry feel when they look on you with pride. With love."

"Don't you fucking start with that," Juliet interjected angrily, taking a step closer to the glass. "You don't get to say that to him."

"I know you're both upset, but Barry, I'm giving you a chance. I'm giving you a chance to undo all the evil I've done. Don't you want that chance?"

Juliet put a hand on her boyfriend's shoulder. Barry responded by reaching up his own hand and pulling it down, interlocking their fingers together instead. They walked back into the pipeline, and on the screen, Barry shut the door to the Particle Accelerator, separating them from Thawne.

Neither of them said anything to each other as they went back upstairs to the cortex where everyone else was. They didn't really know what to say, either. It was a lot of information to take in at once. Once they got back, everyone was waiting to talk, because they had listened into the conversation downstairs. Juliet leaned some of her weight on Barry, keeping him close, while their hands were still tightly interlocked.

"The rare opportunity to go back in time and right a wrong and save your mother's life — quite the paradox Harrison has presented you with, Mr. Allen," Professor Stein told him.

"The chance to be with someone you love?" Caitlin asked, stepping up to stand beside Ronnie. "Seems pretty cut and dry to me."

"At first blush, Dr. Snow, it would appear so, but this gift has unparalleled risk. Barry, the night your mother died, the night you saved yourself from being killed, that event altered the timeline you were already on and changed the course of history."

"So what you're saying is we're living in a parallel universe?" Cisco cut in.

"Just like when I time travelled before," Barry voiced.

"But he — he only changed one day that time," Joe protested.

"Exactly," Professor Stein agreed. "Now imagine fifteen years of compounded experiences. One different decision, no matter how big or small, impacts everything that follows. Moments upon moments, choices upon choices. No relationships, nothing would be as it is today, and you'd never know the difference because you'd never remember any of it."

"So if I go back and save my mom, my dad doesn't go to prison," Barry said. "I never live with Joe and Iris, and mostly live with J and Noelle."

"You might never meet me," Cisco stated. "Or Caitlin, or Ronnie."

"Truth is, there's no real way of knowing what your life will be," Professor Stein concluded.

Joe shook his head. "There's no choice here, Barry. You have to do this. You gotta change the past."

He then grabbed his jacket and left the cortex. Juliet stared after him with a frown.

Barry looked down at his girlfriend. "I'm gonna—"

"Yeah," Juliet approved. "Go. I'll see you later."

He nodded and pressed a kiss to the top of her head before letting go and leaving the cortex. Juliet watched Barry's figure go, her heart feeling heavy. If Barry decided to go back in time and save his mother, that meant he would leave this timeline, and that also meant that Juliet would have to live without him. Sure, there would be another version of her in that other timeline Barry would create, but she would be stuck here without the boy she was destined to spend the rest of her life with.

And as much as that killed her inside, Juliet had to be okay with it. She couldn't be selfish in this situation. This was Barry's choice, and he had to do it for himself. The new timeline he would create would start his life all over with the people he loved, and what kind of forever lover would Juliet be to prevent him from a life of happiness instead of a life of suffering?

The day dragged on, and Juliet bounced back and forth from the CCPD to S.T.A.R. Labs, but her mind was only stuck on one thing the entire time. Finally, when the sun dipped below the horizon and the stars started to dot the sky, Juliet went back home. She opened the door to her apartment, only to see a familiar figure standing on the balcony, his elbows resting on the railing as he stared out at the buildings. Juliet set down her things and made her way outside, shuddering slightly when the chilly air hit her.

"Hey," she greeted quietly, walking up to stand by him. "Didn't expect to see you here."

"It's been a long day," Barry admitted. "I talked to Joe, I talked to my dad, I talked to Iris . . . but all I've really wanted is to talk to you."

Juliet looked up at him, her heart feeling warm as her hair slightly rustled in the breeze. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." He gave her a shy smile. "I always want to talk to you."

Juliet's face flushed a light shade of pink. "Then let's talk."

"Joe wants me to do it," Barry told her. "My dad doesn't. Iris wants me to do what I need to do for myself." He paused for a moment. "What do you think I should do?"

She shrugged. "It's not really my decision to make, babe."

"But we're forever lovers. Don't forever lovers usually make decisions together?"

"Sometimes," Juliet responded. She turned to Barry and took his hands in hers, tugging him to face her fully. Juliet looked up right into the eyes that she loved so much and gave him a small smile. "All I've ever wanted in life is for you to be happy. This can make you happy — really happy."

"I am happy," Barry insisted. "With you."

She shook her head. "Don't think about me."

"Kind of hard to do when all I think about is you."

Juliet's stomach fluttered, and she squeezed his hands gently. "The only one who really knows what to do right now is you. Do what you want."

Barry let his forehead fall on the top of Juliet's head. "What if I don't know what I want?"

"It's okay if you don't. This is a really big decision. Just follow your heart."

"What if my heart only leads me back to you?"

She let out a small laugh. "You're incredibly cheesy, my love." She took a deep breath. "But my heart always leads me back to you, too. Which means that if you do this, you'll still find me. Forever lovers, right?"

"Fate and destiny," Barry promised, picking his head back up to look down at her.

Her smile widened a little. "It's you and me."

Barry leaned down and kissed her gently. Juliet savored the moment, pressing up onto her toes in effort to get closer to him. Just like every time she kissed him, she forgot about literally everything else in that moment, and just focused on him.

After spending a little more time together on Juliet's balcony, they went back to S.T.A.R. Labs. The two, their hands held tightly together, went back down to the pipeline to actually see how this whole plan would work out. Barry opened up the door to the Particle Accelerator, and Thawne in his cell came into room, eating Big Belly Burger.

"Ah!" Thawne exclaimed once his eyes set on the two heroes. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, it took you a whole hour longer to decide then I thought it would."

"So how does this work?" Barry questioned. "Your grand plan?"

"Well, it's really not that grand at all, Barry. In fact, it's rather simple. We use the Particle Accelerator."

Juliet raised her eyebrows. "Um, I'm not sure if you remember, but the last time the Particle Accelerator turned on, you caused an explosion that caused a shit ton of people to get hurt."

"This time, the Accelerator will operate exactly the day it was designed to," Thawne argued. "Except, instead of two particles moving in opposite directions, colliding at the speed of light in the inner ring, we're only going to inject one particle into the Accelerator."

"And I'm what it collides with," Barry stated, gripping Juliet's hand a little tighter.

"And if you can go fast enough, Barry, if you can hit that particle with enough speed, you will punch a hole right through the fabric of reality. And you will create a portal connecting this time to infinite times."

"A wormhole."

"Through which one might travel back to the past, say, to the night your mother died or forward to the future, to, say, my time," Thawne finished.

"You said if I run fast enough," Barry said. "What happens if I don't?"

"If you don't achieve the desired velocity, Barry, you'll die."

Juliet's head snapped over to him. No, no — that could not happen. Living in this timeline without Barry knowing somewhere else he was happy, sure. Living in this timeline without Barry knowing it's because he died, no. That would literally break Juliet to the point of no return.

They left Thawne in his cell and went back upstairs, telling everyone what Thawne had told them. Professor Stein pulled up a diagram of the Particle Accelerator on the screen, and all of them watched. Juliet stared at the screen, her mind aware at the way Barry's thumb was tracing her knuckles.

"According to Well's calculations, Barry super-speeds inside the accelerator ring," Professor Stein explained. "Once Barry reaches optimum speed, we then launch a hydrogen proton into the Accelerator. Once the collision happens, a wormhole forms, opening a gateway into time itself. It's at that moment I plan on shouting something along the lines of Eureka or possibly Excelsior. I'm uncommitted."

Barry looked at Cisco, who was sitting at the computer desk. "What do you think?"

Cisco sighed. "I mean, on the one hand, it does make a kind of sense. On the other hand, why? Why, why would you ever consider doing this?"

"You know why."

"So for this to actually work, how fast would Barry have to go?" Caitlin inquired.

"By my estimates, Mach Two at a minimum," Professor Stein answered.

"You've never gone that fast."

Juliet blinked at Barry. "Bitch, you better run."

Barry gave her playful look and nudged his shoulder with hers. Juliet laughed slightly and nudged his shoulder back.

"So what happens if Barry doesn't reach that speed?" Joe interjected. "I mean, I'm imagining a bug hitting a windshield. How far off am I?"

"Not very far, I'm afraid," Professor Stein revealed.

"Let me worry about how fast I have to go," Barry insisted. He then looked at Cisco. "We're gonna need something else too."

"Really?" Cisco asked. "And what's that? 'Cause I don't know about you guys, but I'm not at all interested in helping you get yourself killed."

"I need you to build a time machine."

Juliet gave him an innocent smile and held up her free hand, shrugging a little. "Back to the Future?"

Cisco's eyes lit up at the possibility, and he squinted a little. "Go on."

At once, Cisco, Ronnie, Barry, and Juliet went down to Cisco's workshop in the basement.

"So, if Wells is as fast as you, what's he need a time machine for?"

"Apparently he lost his speed when he killed my mom," Barry responded. "He gets it back sometimes, but only in spurts. He can't fully control it."

"Poor him," Juliet muttered sarcastically.

"So I was right about the wheelchair," Cisco voiced. "He was using it to charge himself."

"So after I open the wormhole, he's gonna need the ship to travel back to the future," Barry told them. "He's been squirreling away the parts."

Ronnie's eyes locked on something. "Now we just need to put it together."

Cisco followed him up to the table that had a bunch of parts on it. "Ronnie, I love you, but this is a time machine, not a bookcase from IKEA."

Ronnie picked up a part. "We got a problem. These tiles — they're made of tungsten."

"Well, tungsten does have the highest melting point of any other element."

"Yeah, but the dust it generates is flammable. The pressure exerted from the wormhole—"

"Yeah, yeah," Cisco agreed, seemingly following where he was going. "It could cause a hole to be melted into the exterior. It could explode."

"Do we have any other ideas?" Juliet questioned.

"Let me ask Dr. Evil." He chuckled, but it had no humor in it. "Which used to be a name that made me smile."

So, apparently, Thawne said a cobalt resin over the tiles would prevent it from melting. Cisco also seemed . . . off, but Juliet didn't push him. She could only imagine how hard it was for him to talk to Thawne.

Juliet, Barry, Cisco, Caitlin, and Ronnie were all in the workshop, getting everything ready. She had a screen in her hand, looking at the diagram of Thawne's time machine, her eyebrows knit in thought. Barry sat on the spinning stool at the desk, and he had pulled Juliet to sit on top of his right thigh, his arms wrapped around her waist and his chin on his shoulder so he could see the screen as well.

"We have a problem," Professor Stein announced, coming back into the workshop.

Barry picked his chin up to look at him. "What?"

"The calculations. There is a danger."

"I know. I'm ready to take the risk."

"No, not just to you but to everyone," Professor Stein protested. "Wells didn't tell us everything. Barry, even if you do reach the right speed, colliding with the hydrogen particle, there is a chance that explosion could create a singularity."

"What's a singularity?" Caitlin inquired.

"It's a black hole," Cisco responded.

"We could destroy Central City," Barry said.

"For starters," Professor Stein agreed. "If we create a singularity here and then cannot control it, we could be looking at a global catastrophe."

"So long and thanks for all the fish," Cisco voiced.

Wow. Juliet couldn't believe that Thawne conveniently didn't tell them about this.

(That was sarcasm, by the way.)

〖 ϟ 〗

one more chapter I'm going to throw myself off of the empire state building

ANYWAYS

do y'all have any guesses of what the title of book two is 👀 I mean I know what it is bc it's been planned but I wanna hear what you think!

here's a hint:
- it's a song off of red (tv) (I mean OBVIOUSLY bc state of grace is a song off of red tv)

gif by zcndayas!