THIS STARTS AFTER CHAPTER 35
(which is why it's titled as chapter 36)

"Hey fat girl. You finally up with mommy? Hm? Lemme see them gums girl." Trinity kissed all over Amaria's face as she began to wake up, earning a gummy smile in response. Amaria reached for her necklace and attempted to put it in her mouth, making her shake her head. This girl was just now realizing she had hands and was trying to get a taste of everything.

The two of them were currently out on a walk around the neighborhood of Amara and Davon's old house—well, Trinity was doing all of the walking, of course. Amaria rode on her chest in the insulated baby carrier and just slept most of the time. She always got her nap in on the walks now, enjoying the slight rocking feeling that Trinity's body created with each step.

"Mile five is doneeee girl. It's time to go home." She said after checking her Apple Watch, then she looked both ways before crossing the street. It took another ten minutes before she was walking up the steps to porch, using her key to unlock the front door.

She fell in love every time she walked inside this house. It was finally looking like a space that she'd live in—no disrespect to Ms. Amara, but they had two totally different styles. Her original plan had always been not to modernize it too much to where it was the same old boring white and beige look, so she went with more of a mid-century warm aesthetic.

In the living room, every wall was white besides one sage green accent wall that matched the big soundbar under the 97 inch LG TV and the accent colors in the big carpet. The couch was nothing fancy, just a L shaped sofa with dusty orange and sage colored pillows; the orange matching the wooden wall shelves that held a lot of the pictures Amara kept over the years.

There were floor to ceiling curtains hanging from the tall windows—one of her favorite parts of the house. Amara knew what she was doing with those. They let in so much natural sunlight and Trinity absolutely loved it. They came in handy during golden hour where Trinity would take photos in the giant mirror on one of the living room walls.

She did renter friendly upgrades to the kitchen just to satisfy herself, using white peel and sticks to cover up the wooden cabinets and counters. She also changed every cabinet and drawer handles to the same sage green color that was in the living room. She had a cute little theme going on with her favorite color.

The bedroom she created for her and Amari to share was the best, though. She thought it would be rude and a bit shameful to sleep in his grandparents old room, so she had a few of her cousins and her dad come and knock a wall down out of the house to combine two of the next biggest rooms to become the master bedroom with a huge walk in closet with rotating shelves.

They also added a customized bathroom, complete with heated floors, a jet tub and a luxurious walk in shower. She spent quite a bit of coin on all of the renovations, but it was worth it in the end. She was no where near finished but was satisfied enough to move in right now.

She and Amaria had only been here for a week now, but Trinity had been enjoying the time to herself. She was learning that it wasn't so terrible being alone; she actually found comfort in only being around her daughter. This little girl made her the happiest mom on the planet, so she was overly comfortable.

"You look so pretty mommy." Trinity said to Amaria who was in the round square jet tub with her in her own tiny infant tub. Trinity used her baby soap to style Amaria's hair with her fingers, smiling down at her.

"We're going to pick daddy up today. Are you excited?" She gently tickled under her chin before smacking her lips at how Amaria didn't laugh. "Oh whatever. I know you are anyway."

Boy, had it been a long month; or rather one month and one week, since Amari had to stay in the psych ward for a week longer than scheduled for testing to make sure that he wasn't a danger to the public. According to his counselor, he passed all of the tests with flying scores so it was worth it. Trinity was so proud of him.

This really had been the longest month of her life though. Everyday for the last thirty days, she ended her prayers by asking God to make sure they never had to be separated for this long again. For a moment she almost went to surrender herself to the same ward just to see him. She missed him that much.

She couldn't wait to hear about his time there; whether good or bad, she wanted to know what it was like for him. She really just wanted to hear his voice in general. She was still mad about the ward lying about the phone call thing. Going a month without seeing him, ok, no big deal—but not hearing from him either? That was too far.

They made it though. She was so glad this was over.

After their bath, Trinity got them both dressed and buckled into her BMW to drive to North Chicago where the psych ward was. She stopped to get him a few bouquets of flowers, 'Welcome Home' balloons, his favorite snacks, and a meal from Portillo's on the way there. She would've went on a shopping trip to buy gifts for him but he didn't really like stuff like that. She knew he'd be more than satisfied with what she got.

She let the balloons hang out of the backseat window once they got there, and positioned his flowers and snacks in the backseat as well. She left his meal that was still hot in the passenger seat, knowing that he'd want some actual food after his sentence at the ward. She could only imagine the food they fed him there.

Grabbing Amaria from her car seat, she went to stand in front of the sign that was designated for family pickups, waiting on him to come out. They told her to be here by 12 o'clock and mentioned that they were always on time, so she was there by 11:30 and out the car by 11:59. She was not playing with them about her man.

Nearly five minutes after twelve, Amari walked out with an older white lady, seemingly engaged in a warm conversation with her. Tears instantly filled Trinity's eyes at the sight of him, watching the woman point towards where she stood. Amari's whole face lit up with the biggest smile when he noticed the two of them.

"Wassup mama?" He caught her mid air when she jumped into his arms, being careful of their daughter.

"I missed you so much my baby. I love you." His voice was muffled from his face being tucked in her neck under her puffer jacket while his arms squeezed tightly around her waist.

"I missed you so much. I love you. Do you know that? I love you so much and I'll never do this again. No matter what happens. I promise. I love you so much." She kissed all over his face and over his teeth when he smiled.

"Daddy baby! Wassup ma?!" Amari grabbed Amaria and held her in the air before bringing her down to kiss her chubby cheeks. "You so big Fat. And your hair..look at you Rapunzel."

Trinity smiled as she watched him, trying to dry her face up. He seemed so happy and she loved that so much. She could tell he'd lost a bit of weight but nothing too drastic to be worried about. She'd have him up ten pounds in two weeks. She would make sure he ate good every day.

"I love you so much." Amari said to Trinity after wrapping his free arm around the back of her neck, pulling her closer for another hug.

"I love you more. I missed hearing that. Can you tell me again?" She stared up at him with his favorite set of brown eyes, making his smile grow wider.

"I love you so much. More than anything. I love you more than I did yesterday." He gave her a kiss, and Trinity's smile slowly faded away as he immediately deepened it. He then picked her up from the ground with one arm, holding around her waist.

"Amari!" She laughed, surprised with how effortlessly he carried her to the car.

"You got lighter ma. Wassup with that?"

"I lost sixteen pounds this month. My waist is damn near non existent." She joked, being put down on the passenger side of her car.

"From what?" He frowned, wondering if it was stress related.

"I started walking. I get like twenty thousand steps a day now. Look. My mom pouch is leaving." She lifted up her hoodie that was underneath her puffer coat, showing how much her lower stomach had went down.

"Oh—that's good then. I'm thinking you ain't been eating or somethin'. You look good ma ma. So pretty." He planted a kiss on her forehead, and she slid her arms around his neck for another hug.

Amari ended up making her ride in the passenger seat while he drove him and ate his meal from Portillo's at the same time. The car ride was mostly full of questions about Amaria and the difference in appearance of all three of them. Trinity spent the whole time just staring at him, glad that he was finally home.

"Damn ma. It look—damn.. you been working huh?" Amari said in disbelief when he walked in the house with his arm wrapped around her and the other holding Amaria. He had yet to let them go.

"Yes. My daddy and some of my cousins did most of it. Do you like it? Or did I do too much?"

"No it's perfect. It look like a home. And you kept all the pictures too." He said after looking at the accent wall with the wooden shelves, making her smile.

"Yep. Come here." She led him down one of the halls, and he mentally applauded the paint job on the walls they passed. It looked really nice.

"We took down the wall that separated these two rooms and made it into one. My daddy built a new bathroom, too. And we have a walk in closet with a little bar inside. My mommy did that." She explained to him, showing him around their new bedroom.

"Damn. How much you paid them for this? I need to triple it." He frowned at her, then smiled at the sound of her laughter.

"They did it for free. Probably 'cause they were all sad for me. So I used that sympathy to my advantage. I bought them lunch and dinner though, if that counts." She shrugged, removing her coat and hoodie since it was warm in the house.

"Did you do the nursery already?" He asked.

"No. I saved it for you love." She told him, and his smile grew at her words. He designed the nursery back at the house Trinity shared with her sisters all by himself because he wanted his daughter to have the most perfect room. He wanted to do it again at this house too.

"I appreciate that ma." He leaned over to give her a kiss after she sat on the bed, and she wasted no time to return it.

"Do I smell weird? You don't. You smell good as fuck." His face went back to her neck, earning another laugh from her.

"No baby. You smell like yourself. Just without cologne. Your natural scent is my favorite." She stared up at him, wrapping her arms around his waist while he stood in front of her.

"Good. I was hoping I ain't smell like a hospital or nothin'. I washed my own clothes while I was there. They ain't have the detergent you normally use though." He then sat down next to her, pulling his hoodie off which left him in just a white t shirt.

Trinity's eyes lowered to look at the healed bullet wound in his right arm, which wasn't that noticeable due to his tattoos. The doctors who did surgery on him did a nice job with cleaning it up and keeping his tattoos in tact.

"I'm fine ma. It ain't hurt." He chuckled when he noticed what she was staring at, making her look over at him again.

"I'm so sorry love. I regret it so much." She swallowed the lump in her throat so that she didn't cry, surprised that her tear ducts hadn't dried up.

"You did what I needed you to do. You ain't gotta apologize. We good. I promise." He grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers, watching her slowly nod in response.

"How you been? I been asking 'bout Fat and not you. What's new mama?" He rubbed the back of her hand, trying to put her mind on something else.

"Nothing much other than redoing the house and exercising more. I don't do anything but read on my iPad and lay in bed. I'm still the same." She shrugged.

"How was Christmas? I owe you some gifts." He said, causing her smile to return.

"I didn't celebrate it this year. Me and Fat just watched all four Home Alone's and the three Santa Claus movies. Leila and Mir went to our parents' house. Everybody was mad at me but I didn't care." She shrugged again.

"'Cause of me?" He asked, watching her nod again.

"It wasn't the same without you. I couldn't do anything without my baby." She rubbed his hand as well. "I wrote a letter to Santa by the way..if you want to read it for some gift ideas." She smiled.

"I'm sorry ma." He knew she was trying to make it less saddening but it still hurt his feelings.

"That's okay. Don't worry. I promise I was fine. I only cried three times the whole day—which is a record for me baby 'cause I been letting it loose." She blew out a dramatic breath, making him laugh.

"We can re-celebrate. You can put the tree up and I'ma put some gifts under there for you." He leaned over to give her a kiss and she smiled against his mouth.

"What about you? How was it? Did you know they lied to me about being able to call you? Well, of course you know by now but like—that was really wrong of them." She briefly ranted, gesturing with her hands.

"Yeah. I knew before you left. I been there two times before. They been doing that for years. I ain't say nothing 'cause I ain't want you to be sad though, or try to change your mind. It was what we needed."

"You think so?" She mumbled. "I've been feeling so bad since the day I left you there. I don't care what you do, I'll never take you back. I hate feeling like I just..abandoned you up there. It wasn't like that love. I would never do you l—,"

"I know. I was never mad." He stopped her before she could get herself worked up, watching her expression soften.

"What you did was selfless. You wanted to help me get better and I appreciate you for that. I needed it. I couldn't keep fucking up like that ma. And you take that shit to the chin every time..you shouldn't have to do that. So it was a good idea to take me there. I'm only mad that you waited so long to do it." He chuckled.

"Was it hard?" She asked quietly.

"As fuck. I ain't gon' lie like I ain't cry everyday. Shid, I cried yesterday. I hate being away from you and it was worse 'cause I was away from Fat too. I just felt so empty the whole time. But I got up and participated everyday for you. I did everything I could to get better and I think it helped. I hope it did. I learned a lot."

"They switched my meds and they way different than the ones we got from that psychiatrist. 'Cause those just made me feel nothing at all. I still feel like myself with these new ones. Like I don't feel forced to smile and shit. And they're tri-weekly now, so I take 'em three times a week instead of everyday." He explained to her.

"That's so good baby. I'm glad they make you feel better. I'm so glad you weren't—I don't know, dying—in there. I was so worried about you." She reached over to give him a hug, to which he wasted no time to return.

"I couldn't. I had somebody to get home to." He kissed her cheek that raised with a big smile.

"I have something to tell you." She told him after pulling away, pushing her hair behind her ear to get it out of her face. His head tilted as he gave her his undivided attention, waiting on her to talk.

"A week after you left..I had a miscarriage. I was pregnant again. 4 weeks." She revealed, watching his expression slowly fade into one she couldn't read. There looked to be so much emotion though; sadness, hurt, guilt, fear.

"I bled really bad and passed out a couple of times. Had to get a blood transfusion and a lot of IV liquid because I wasn't eating or drinking anything.. I stayed in the hospital for two days. The miscarriage was stress induced—it was my fault..." She paused for a moment.

"That's why I started going on walks. I feel so good when I'm outside, just enjoying where I am in life..you know? Telling God how grateful I am to have you and Fat. I've been trying not to stress myself out anymore. The walks help a lot with tha—baby I'm fine now. Don't be sad. I swear I'm okay." She lost track of what she was saying when she noticed that he was crying, reaching up to give him another hug.

"I should've been here for you ma. That was on me, not you. I'm sorry Trin." He kissed the side of her face while she did the same to his.

"It's fine. We didn't know. We couldn't have prevented it either way. It's okay and we're okay." She assured him as she stared into his eyes, watching him nod.

"Damn. We could've had another baby though. That shit crazy. I ain't even know you was p—how come you always get pregnant the first time we be fucking? You literally got pregnant wit' Fat the first time I fucked you and we only fucked one time after you gave birth. You too fertile ma."

"Me?! You don't know how to pull out!" She hit his shoulder, trying not to laugh along with him. He played entirely too much.









Got yall with a couple more chapters boo