Amari sat in the corner of his 64 square foot room, rocking himself with his head lying on his knees that was pulled up against his chest. The room in width was about the length of his body which gave him no space at all to do anything. It was about the same size as one of the guest bathrooms at Trinity's house.

The only thing that fit inside was a small bed that he was too tall for and a desk that didn't go higher than his knees when he sat down at it. Being so cramped like this was driving him crazy—even crazier than usual and that was saying something since he was literally mentally deranged.

They gave him a different, bigger room when he arrived a week ago but he ruined that when he had an episode. He thought that was stupid because they were the whole reason he reacted that way. They said that he needed to detox from his current medication so that they could reevaluate him in his purest form. So, basically they wanted him to go crazy then got upset with him for doing exactly that.

He was so pissed off. He'd never been this angry in his life. He wanted to go home and get in the bed with his fiancé and their daughter. He wanted to go outside and feel the breeze. He did not want to be in a room he could barely stand in and off of his medication. This wasn't working and he was so close to his breaking point.

It had officially been nine days since he last saw or heard from Trinity and he was trying to remain strong because he knew that's what she wanted. He was losing the battle though. He couldn't do this. He felt more insane inside of the psychiatric ward that was supposed to be helping him than he did in the outside world where he could do whatever he pleased whether medicated or not.

Amari was snapped out of his thoughts with a groan, listening to the eerie whispers in the dark room grow louder. He normally wasn't afraid of them since he was so used to it by now, and Trinity played a big role in helping him feel safe even when they filled his head. She currently wasn't here though, so now, he couldn't lie like he wasn't scared.

Oh, how he hated being this way.

"Shut the fuck up man." He dragged his hands down his face, frustrated with himself.

"Get out of here. Out. Get out. Get out. Out. Get out." The voices seemed to get closer to him, almost like an air horn was being blown right in his ear. "The window. Out. Get out. Get out. Get out."

Amari tilted his head back to look at the small window near the ceiling of the room, and he chewed the inside of his cheek as he thought about what to do. He knew that Trinity would be mad but honestly she'd be more upset if he killed somebody in here, so this was his only choice as of now.

He stood up from the floor and took the mattress off of the metal bed frame, the positioned the frame up against the wall. He steadied the mattress on top of it, building a latter to get to the window—and that was if he could keep his balance. Luckily, the window was only eight feet tall and he was almost six foot, so all he had to do was jump when he got up there.

There was a little ledge on the window, so he sat himself up there as much as possible and then kicked the mattress to the floor. Then, he used the tip of his foot to lift the bed frame up, grunting as he grabbed it with one hand. It was a little heavier than he thought, but not heavy enough to stop him.

Since the glass was made to ensure it couldn't be punched out, Amari used the leg of the bed frame to bust it open. As soon as the glass shattered, he punched the rest of it out just as an alarm began to go off inside of the room. He wasn't able to tell if anyone heard it because he jumped out as soon as the opening was big enough to fit.

"Awl, shit." He groaned in pain as he dropped right on top of a big dumpster that was right beneath his room that was on the third floor. He didn't let it phase him though. A good thing about being dissociated was that he could hardly feel any pain. He would most definitely feel it in about an hour or so, though.

Anywho, knowing that this psychiatric ward was in north Chicago, he knew there was no way he'd be able to walk all the way home—safely, at least. So, he broke into a 2009 Hyundai Sonata that was in the back parking lot and went underneath the steering wheel to hot wire it. It took less than a minute before the car's engine cranked up.

You would've thought his house was on fire by the way he put the pedal to the metal to get to Naperville. Thankfully, it was in the middle of the night and he wasn't pulled over by police for going forty miles over the speed limit. He made it home in less than twenty minutes.

He made sure to drop the car off in the parking lot of Walmart that was about a mile away from their house and ran the rest of the way home. He didn't have his key on him and didn't want to wake anyone up, so he went through Trinity's window that was always unlocked. He'd gotten on to her about that one too many times.

"Amari!" Trinity immediately shrieked and then clamped her mouth shut when she remembered that her baby was sleeping next to her.

"I'm not staying up there Trinity. On god you gon' have to put me in jail." He walked around the bed to get to her side, and she flinched as soon as he reached for her, making him frown.

"What is you scared of? It's me. I can't hug you?" He frowned.

"Baby you n—no. Amari this is not how you do this." She started crying as soon as his arms wrapped around her, and he ignored her, lowering his head to kiss on her neck.

"I missed you. I couldn't stay there ma. I can't be without you for that long. I tried." He stared down at her, refusing to let her go when she tried pushing away from him.

"Baby you have to leave. I'll get you a hotel—you just—you can't be here." She struggled to free herself as his grip tightened around her waist.

"Quit fighting me Trinity. I'm not going nowhere. What I can't be here for?" He continued frowning.

"You're off your meds! I don't have any here! They—they asked for them when I dropped you off. Look at you Amari. You're not okay." She grabbed his face, staring dead into his eyes that looked all black.

"I'm fine baby. I'm me. I'm good." He tried to assure her, tilting his head to the side with confusion.

"For now. And what happens when you switch again? You're only you for a few minutes and then it goes right back." She couldn't believe she was even saying a sentence like that. She still couldn't believe that there was two 'Amari's'.

He went silent at what they both knew was the truth, and his gaze softened as he stared at her, feeling his eyes burn. She looked so afraid of him even though he hadn't switched and that hurt his feelings so much. He wished he could just do right for her but he couldn't no matter how hard he tried.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to d—,"

"No. Stop that. That—baby, I hate when you do that. I know you don't mean to but that's manipulation. I want you to stop. You need to go back to the psych w—,"

"Nah man. You left me up there and I ain't say nothin' but I'm not going back Trin. That shit make me feel worse than when I'm here and off my rocker man. I can't. You want me to kill them? 'Cause I swear on my daughter life that's what I'ma do if I go back." He cut her off after she interrupted him, and her expression dropped into one of surprise.

"Amari.." She was clearly left speechless.

"I can't. They not right up there ma ma. They won't give me my pills and they got me locked in this tiny ass room all day. I can't even write in my fucking journal man. I'm not going back. Call the police or let me be 'cause them yo' only two options."

Trinity watched him tilt his head again as if he was cracking his neck, which was usually one of the first signs of his second personality coming to the forefront. He always cracked his neck and his voice would instantly change, then it was downhill from there.

"I'm scared." She whispered quietly as tears rolled down her already red cheeks.

"That's ok baby. I'm not gon' hurt you. Here. Put the cuffs on me 'til we can go refill my prescription when Walmart open." He let her go to open her nightstand, grabbing a pair of handcuffs they'd used once while having sex.

He put the key on the dresser and cuffed his right hand on his own, then he held his wrists up to Trinity so that she could close the left one. She stared at him for a moment before clamping it shut, and he pulled his wrists apart to show her that they were actually locked.

"Don't be scared. I'm sorry. I just—I couldn't do it anymore. I was trying. I swear I was. That shit inhumane Trin. And I missed you. You didn't miss me?" He asked. She hadn't said anything of the sort since he'd came through the window.

"I did but I wanted you to get better." She sniffed, reaching up to wipe her face. His head lowered to her height and he gave her a few kisses, and she hesitated for a second before returning one.

"I love you. I'm sorry." He apologized, and she didn't respond, knowing that he wasn't being honest. He wasn't sorry for what he'd done in the slightest. He was only sorry that she was upset.

Amari walked away from her and leaned down in their bed, letting a smile grace his face at the sight of his daughter. She looked so peaceful as she slept on his side of the bed. Her bottom lip was poked out further than her top one and there was drool running down the side of her mouth.

"Hey Fat ma. Daddy missed you so much." He kissed her cheek, skillfully using his shoulder to wipe up the mess she was making with her slobber.

"Amari," Trinity pulled him up from her, and his smile slowly faded as he turned to face her.

"I can't kiss my daughter?" He asked with a vocal crack; not one of emotion, but one where his voice deepened into one that scared the absolute hell out of Trinity.

"Your shirt..it's on her mouth. And you've been outside. I don't want you to get her sick." She quickly came up with a lie, and he nodded his head, seemingly unaware that she was lying.

"Do you want a different shirt?" She asked, and he nodded his head again. Instead of going over to the dresser, Trinity went into the closet while he sat down on the edge of the bed. She took frequent glances at the door as she typed in the passcode to his safe, trying to open it as quietly and quickly as possible.

"Mama?" Amari called, familiar with the locking sound he'd just heard. By the time he made it to the closet, Trinity already had one of his guns locked and loaded.

"Wassup ma? I'm fine." His expression softened as he stared at her, seeing the gun in her hand. Then, a smile graced his face as his head tilted to the side again.

"Amari, please." She quietly cried as he approached her, clearly unfazed by the gun. He stood right in front of her and lowered his head to be in her neck again, briefly inhaling the scent of her skin while she shuddered beneath him. She was the one with the gun and somehow was still afraid.

"I love you so much. I do. I love you more than anything I ever loved before. You know that?" He asked lowly, bringing his head out of her neck so that she could see his face.

"Yes. I love you too. But I'm scared." She mumbled.

"I love you more than...God. Do you know how much love that is? That I put you above Him?" He matched her mumble, picking up on the way her breathing changed. He knew she was afraid.

"Amari, please.." She didn't know where this was heading and the fear had her speechless.

Her heart dropped when she heard a light clanking sound, and she looked down to see the handcuffs on the ground. He took the gun from her so swiftly; she never even saw him reach for it. Her eyes then went to his hands, seeing both of his thumbs swelling with bruises.

"I broke 'em." He said when he noticed what she was staring at, and her breath hitched when both of his arms wrapped around her neck in a hug.

"My feelings was so hurt when you left me up there ma. You abandoned me just like everybody else. I thought we were better than that? You said I would never be too much for you." A single tear rolled down his cheek while enough to form a river rolled down Trinity's.

"You are not too much for me..but baby—there's only so much that I can do. I wanted to h—to help you. We've tried everything. What was I supposed to do?" She cried as she stared up at him.

"Anything but leave me. Why would that ever work? I need you." He told her, then glanced behind him when a light whine came from the bed.

"I got it." He aimed the gun at her when she tried to walk past him to get to their baby, and Trinity covered her mouth to silence a sob when he walked backwards to get to Amaria.

"Baby please don't hurt her. Please? I—I'll do what you want okay? Just—let me have her." She practically begged him as her heart sank deep into her chest.

"Hey Fat. What you crying for ma?" He held her in one arm and the gun in his other, leaning down to kiss her cheeks.

"It's time to feed her. Can I see her please?" Trinity asked, making him look up at her. He gestured for her to come closer, and she let out a quiet sigh of relief when he placed a crying Amaria in her arms.

Trinity freed her left breast and let Amaria latch on to it, immediately silencing her cries. She gently wiped her cheeks to dry her face up and then rubbed over her hair, mentally praying for her safety. She would die tonight if it meant that her daughter would make it out alive and unharmed.

"I had a miscarriage while you were gone." Trinity revealed, feeling his eyes land on her instead of their daughter.

"W—what?" He stammered, clearly caught off guard.

"It was my fault." She sniffed. "I was so sad..I wasn't eating and I was so stressed. I feel like I failed as a mommy. I don't wanna feel like that again."

"So if you want to hurt somebody, please don't let it be her. I—I'll..I can be the one. Just let me call Leila to come and get her? And I'll stay with you." She looked over at him, watching his eyes lift to meet hers.

"She here?" He asked.

"No. She's with her boyfriend."

"Is Miri here?" He asked, and she shook her head in response. What a coincidence that both of them were gone tonight.

"Amari?" She called softly when he went silent for over a minute, noticing that his eyes were back on Amaria.

"I'm not gon' let nothing happen to her." He mumbled as his left eye twitched. "Or you."

"Well can you put the gun down?" She asked.

"No. 'Cause you don't trust me no more. And ion want you to use it on me when I'm telling you that I'm fine." He told her, still staring at their daughter.

"You're not. You just pointed a gun at me."

"You did it first." His eyes lifted to meet hers again, and she didn't say anything since that was true. She'd actually done it twice.

"When we go get you another prescription tomorrow..what happens then? How do we move on from this?" She asked quietly.

"Do you still love me?" He ignored her question and asked another one, watching her expression soften.

"Yes."

"Even though you scared of me?"

"Yes." She reached up to wipe her face, being honest with him.

"I'm tired of hurting you. I won't ever change ma. Nothing will ever make me better. We doing this for no reason.." He mumbled.

"Baby we can find something that wor—,"

"No we can't. I been trying since I was 12 Trin. It won't end. Ever. And I'll just keep hurting you 'cause you love me too much to let me go. You hurting yourself and it's my fault."

"I never been able to do right. I ain't really see that as a problem until I met you. You the only person I ever wanted to get better for. But I realize that I can't. I'm too traumatized. This shit ah' be with me for life and there's nothing I can do about that. But I can do something to protect you..even if it hurts."

"We can keep trying. Please don't give up baby. I haven't yet. I can't do it by myself though. I need you to stay strong too. Please don't give up." She pulled his head closer to give him a kiss, using her thumb to wipe his tears away.

"I love you so much. You're right..maybe I love you a little too much. But that's not a bad thing. Loving you will never be something that I regret. I will always love you no matter what happens. And one day, we can look back on this and tell our babies how strong their daddy was. Because you are. You are so strong and I love you so much for that. Please don't give up on us."

"I love you more. Can I have a kiss?" He asked, and her bottom lip quivered at the crack in his voice.

"Do you think that I can live without you?" She asked without giving him what he wanted, grabbing his face to make him look at her.

"I know what you're thinking and that is not the answer. My life will not be better without you. I will be sad for the rest of my life and I'll never move on. And I won't be happy that you sacrificed yourself for me. I won't. I'm telling you right now that I'll be mad at you forever." She stared into his dark eyes as more tears fell from them.

"I'm tired mama." He bit his lip to keep from sobbing as his heart shattered into a million pieces. She knew him so well.

"And that is not a reason to give up. It's a reason to keep going because one day—this day won't even matter. You'll be better and we'll be so happy. Together. Because I can't do life without you Amari. I'm nothing without you."

"I love you so much." He laid his forehead against hers, and she finally gave him the kiss he asked for.

"I love you more baby. I promise I do. We both do." She held Amaria up to him, and a smile graced his face as she stared curiously at her father with milk on the corner of her mouth.

Amari then held the gun up to his chin and pulled the trigger, making Trinity scream as blood splattered all over her and the bedroom. Her screams were loud enough to break through a champagne glass as she grabbed him with her free arm before his back could hit the bed.

In the end, Amari actually hadn't given up. He was strong enough to know that the only way to protect the only two people he loved is to remove himself. He couldn't just walk away though..no. That would've been so much harder than pulling the trigger. He couldn't be alive without Trinity at his side, the one he loved more than life itself.

This was the only answer.

The loved they shared was an experience, something that Trinity would never be able to forget. His impact on her life made her a better person and every time she'd think of him in the future, he knew she'd smile. That was all he wanted. He wanted to see that smile forever, and he would forever watch over her and protect her the same way that he did when he was by her side.

His girl, his world, forever and always. His favorite love story of two totally different people from the Southside of Chicago. He hoped she would tell it to their daughter one day.

The End. Like actually ❤️