Amari's eyes popped open when Trinity moved on the side of him, and his head turned to look at her, seeing that she was still asleep. The clock on the dresser read 10:14 in the morning, and it surprised him because for the last four years, he'd never slept in past 6 a.m., even if he went to bed late. 10:14. 10:14.

"10:14." He said out loud to himself in a small whisper and immediately groaned at the headache digging at the back of his skull.

10:14.

10:14.

10:14.

10:14.

10:14.

"It's 10:14." He said again as if he was trying to familiarize himself with the time. His voice made Trinity's head raise, letting her eyes adjust to the light coming through the black mesh curtains over the windows.

"It's 10:14. I'm not at home." Amari snatched the covers off and quickly stood up from the bed in a panic, making Trinity rise with him.

"What's wrong?" She asked in a quiet voice, still half asleep but now worried and alert.

"Don't touch me." He pulled back just as she reached for his arm, and she frowned, trying to catch his gaze so that she could see what his eyes looked like.

"We're at your grandparents house. Remember? You wanted to come last night because it's Davon's death anniversary. We're fine. You're fine." She tried to jog his memory, a bit confused with his actions.

"It's 10:14." He repeated to himself again, and when he finally looked up, Trinity noticed that the entire white part of his eyes were now red; bloodshot red, as if he'd smoked—but she knew that he hadn't. They'd been asleep since two in the morning and she knew for a fact that he hadn't gotten out the bed since then.

"What does that mean?" She asked.

Amari could feel the top of his ears grow hot and that whispering voice continued to repeat the time to him, and he knew something was wrong when tears began to fill his eyes. He looked over at his daughter who was awake and waiting to be unswaddled, looking around the room. He looked at Trinity again, and he could sense her fear as his own heartbeat sped up.

"I take my medicine at seven ma. I'm three hours late." His tone switched midway through his sentence before turning into a whisper, and he quietly groaned again as his head throbbed.

"I know. You overslept. It's okay. We brought them with us; you can take them now." She tried to calm him down, grabbing her duffle bag from against the wall.

"Brought what?" His voice changed again and his gaze focused in on hers, tilting his head to the side.

"Get my gun ma. Get it off the dresser." Amari's head turned as if he was cracking his neck, and by this point Trinity was quite literally scared out of her mind. She was scared for him, not for herself. She realized how hard he was trying to fight to remain himself as his alter personality began to take over.

"Get my gun Trinity." A single tear rolled down his cheek, and she moved to do as told, only for him to do the same thing. She got to the gun first and held it behind her back, watching a demonic smile take over his face while his eyes darkened.

"You so pretty baby. What you gon' do with that?" His head tilted the other way, remaining where he was while she backed up towards her daughter.

"You need to take your medicine." She kept her eyes on him but squatted near her bag, then she tossed him the box of pills.

"I'm not feeling sick." Amari sarcastically raised his hand to feel his forehead before smiling at her again.

Although Trinity had been reading up on the diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder and post traumatic stress disorder since she'd been aware that Amari suffered from both, seeing the articles she read online happen in real time always shook her to the core. She just couldn't believe it was this close to her.

Amari hadn't overslept in over four years unless he happened to go to sleep after the time he'd normally wake up—for instance; when Amari had that episode at his house, he didn't go to sleep until almost eight in the morning which caused him to sleep through the day. Today, he randomly overslept until 10:14am because his grandfather died at this exact time one year ago today. It happened subconsciously, too. That was the scary part.

Trinity didn't remember that until she saw his tattoo of the timestamp on the side of his wrist when he brought his hand up to feel his forehead. She wondered if his alter personality somehow made him oversleep on purpose? She wasn't sure if the alter could make decisions like that, but from what was happening, it sure seemed that way.

"Can I see her?" Amari asked after Trinity grabbed Amaria from the bassinet, holding her against her chest.

"No. Take the medicine first." She said, and he frowned for a moment before walking towards her instead of picking up the pill box. Trinity raised the gun and pointed it directly at him, flipping the safety off.

"Oh. I'm sorry." He smiled, raising his hands up in surrender, standing still just a couple of feet away from her.

"I love you so much. I really do. But I love her more and I—I'll do it, Amari. Please just take the medicine for me baby. Please take it." She said through a small cry, genuinely afraid. She was trying not to show him that she was scared but she couldn't help it. This was his first episode with their daughter around and she was so scared that he'd hurt her.

Amari's surroundings changed and instead of seeing Trinity and Amaria, he saw Sharon holding his younger self. Like always, Amari was now seeing himself in the form of his father, and the first memory that came to his mind began to unfold right in front of him.

He tried so hard to suppress the urge he felt to grab both of them, internally fighting with himself because he was aware of his actions but unfortunately couldn't control them. It took so much restraint and it took no time for him to realize that he was losing the battle. It was hard to do it when he wasn't on his medication.

He was tired of this. He was tired of causing pain to Trinity and to himself. He was so upset that he'd fallen in love with her because now it was impossible for him to stay away from her but he knew that she needed to be as far away from him as possible if she wanted to be safe. The worst part about it all was that they now had a child, so it was even harder.

Amari knew he'd never change. He couldn't. He would have to live with this forever and nothing would ever stop these episodes. The only thing that changed was the severity of them and that wasn't enough. Trinity didn't deserve this. Amaria didn't deserve this.

"You scared?" Amari asked with a grin, talking out loud to himself. Trinity didn't know that though; she couldn't see how hard he was currently fighting with himself.

He took a step towards her and Trinity pulled the trigger on the gun and shot him in his arm, causing both of them to go silent. Amari looked down to watch blood drip from his bicep and his pupils immediately retracted to their natural state. The voices in his head went silent and his arm began to throb in pain, though it didn't hurt too badly. It was enough to snap him back into reality though.

Amari didn't even hear her on the phone with the police. He just stared down at the wound as it continued to leak blood. His gaze didn't advert until Trinity came and wrapped a towel around his arm, no longer holding Amaria who was now crying from the deafening sound of the gunshot.

"I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry." He mumbled quietly, staring down at her while she applied pressure to his arm to stop the bleeding. She was sobbing by this point and that broke his heart.

"I didn't mean to! I didn't have a choice!" She cried to him, unable to believe what she'd done.

"It's okay. You did good ma. Don't cry." He took a step back after momentarily losing his balance, and Trinity wrapped her free arm around him to help him sit down on the bed. His breathing picked up in a panic once he realized he'd actually been shot. His whole arm felt like it was on fire as the adrenaline subsided.

"You did good baby. I'm okay." He tried to assure her through short breaths, unable to hear her as he spaced in and out of reality. He saw her but he saw Sharon too. Then he saw his grandmother. Then he saw Trinity again and it made the tears finally fall from his eyes.

Within moments, he blacked out from the pain and lost consciousness.

"Trinity, just let me get her for a second. You look so tired baby. I promise to stay right here so that you can see her." Faith, Trinity's mother, squatted in front of where she sat next to Amari's hospital bed, heartbroken by the look in her daughter's eyes.

"I'm fine. She's fine." She said without taking her eyes off of Amari, listening to the constant slow beeping of the machines he was hooked up to.

"Mommy I want you to leave now, please." She then turned to look at Faith, who held a shocked expression on her face. "All of you. I want y'all to leave."

"Trini—," Leila was cut off before she could finish.

"Now. I'm fine. Please get out." She turned to look at Amari again, and the thousand yard stare in her eyes genuinely scared them all. She wasn't acting like herself at all and they didn't want her to be here alone, especially with Amaria.

So, Faith gestured for Vance, Leila and Miri to follow her out, closing the door behind them. They didn't leave though. They sat in the chairs right outside of the room and Trinity knew they were there, but as long as they were out of her face, she didn't mind.

It seemed like as soon as the door closed, Amari began to come out of the temporary medically induced coma that he was put in by the doctors who performed surgery on his arm. He tried to cover his eyes to shield them from the light but was unable to lift them due to being chained to the bed.

"Shit." He hissed, looking down at his arm that throbbed. Then he pulled at the cuffs, frowning in confusion.

"You don't remember anything from today, do you?" Trinity's voice made him lift his head, and he stared at her with a small frown.

"No I—why I'm cuffed ma? Where we at?" He tried to sit up but couldn't get very far since his ankles were cuffed as well.

"You're in the psych ward Amari. You had surgery because I shot you in your arm." She spoke quietly, and his frown slowly deepened in confusion.

"You had an episode this morni—,"

"Did I hurt you? I hurt my baby?" He immediately asked with concern, causing a tear to slip from her eye. He was always so worried about them.

"No baby. You didn't." She sniffed, and he blew out a breath of relief before remembering that he was handcuffed again.

"The psych ward? What did I do?" He sat up as much as he could, and although it was uncomfortable, it brought him closer to Trinity and that's all he cared about.

"You didn't do anything this time. I didn't let you.." She paused with another sniff. "Nothing is working baby. We've tried so much and nothing's working. You need to get some real help. I can't keep doing it by myself. It isn't working."

"No I—I'm staying here? You leaving me here?" His voice dropped with sadness, and Trinity brought her hand up to wipe her face with a sigh.

"I have to protect you and this is the only way I know how. You need to be somewhere where you can't hurt anyone. I'm scared Amari. I really am. I was so scared this morning baby..you were too. You was talking to me but it wasn't you—and you was crying so hard."

"I'm sorry ma ma. Don't cry. I'm sorry." He leaned his head forward to kiss her, and Trinity returned it, cradling the side of his face.

"I love you so much. I just want you to get some help baby. I'm so sorry." She softly cried.

"That's okay. I—I'ma be aight ma. Just don't cry. I'm okay." He tried to assure her while assuring himself at the same time, in disbelief with his circumstances.

He hated how sudden dissociating could change his life. He was just fine last night. What happened so quickly that made him end up in the psychiatric ward? And what did this mean for his future?

"I got shot?" He asked in confusion, definitely unable to believe that she did it.

"Yes. You told me to get your gun so that you wouldn't use it. I didn't mean to but I—I didn't know what else to do." She explained through her tears, feeling her nose become stuffy.

"No I—that's okay. I..I think I remember. A little bit. I thought it was a dream? 'Cause I saw Sharon. But I saw you at the same time. I was dissociating ma. I knew it but I couldn't stop it. And I—I would've shot you first if you wouldn't have did it to me. Or my..my daughter." He stumbled over his words in disbelief, then he sighed. "I'm so tired ma."

"I know baby. I know." She reached up to give him a hug, and he buried his face into the crook of her neck as his tears returned.

"I don't wanna be away from you Trinity. I know I need to but I—I don't wanna stay here. I don't wanna be away from my baby." He mumbled.

"We'll call you every day. I promise. It's only for thirty days, okay? And then you'll come home. They're gonna reevaluate you and get you on better medication. And you'll learn things that'll help you when you're dissociating so you won't be as violent. It's gonna make you better. We need this." She kissed his face before wiping his tears away, feeling him nod his head in her grip.

"I love you so much. I'm so sorry I'm like this. I'm sorry baby." He stared at her with red eyes, wishing that he could hug her back.

"It's not your fault. You'll get better. They're gonna help you, and help us. It won't be long. You've done longer sentences before." She faintly smiled at him, and he did the same with a sad chuckle.

"Hi. I'm sorry, sweetheart. Visitation is over now." Amari's nurse who'd been talking with Trinity about him all day walked into the room after lightly knocking, and Trinity nodded at her before looking at Amari again.

"I love you so much. I love you." He said against her lips when she kissed him again, breaking her little heart.

"I love you more. I swear I do. You'll be fine. Call me as soon as you can, okay?" She gave him another kiss, and he nodded again. Trinity then lifted Amaria up to him, and a genuine pout graced his face at the sight of her.

"Daddy love you. I'm sorry Fat." He mumbled, kissing all over her face while she slept. "I'm so sorry."

He gave Trinity a few more kisses and she hugged him as tightly as possible before they had to be separated, and he cried silently to himself as he watched her and Amaria walk out of the room. He was so sad. It felt like he was all alone again for the first time since his grandfather passed away a year ago.

Trinity had been at his side ever since then. How was he supposed to function for an entire month with her and his daughter? He would rather die right now. He couldn't believe old trauma from his childhood was still affecting him like this today; it was still ruining his life. He hated this.

It hurt him to say but he honestly wished he would've never met Trinity. Now he'd dragged her into this and he knew that she would hurt as much as he would for the next thirty days; and that was if they didn't decide to keep him. This wasn't his first rodeo at a psych ward, he knew exactly how this went.

Once you were voluntarily surrendered either by a family member or by yourself, you officially became a ward of the state. It was just like if he were in prison; he couldn't just up and leave whenever he wanted. He would have to ask for permission to do anything and would be micromanaged as if he was a child.

Knowing what he'd go through during his time here, he just hoped it would actually help him this time. He couldn't keep doing Trinity like this. He would rather kill himself than hurt her again. That girl really did mean the world to him and he owed her everything; sanity at the very most. That was the least he could do.

"I don't actually get phone calls, do I?" Amari asked the nurse who was checking his vitals.

"No sir. I'm sorry." She replied, and he just nodded; again, already knowing how this process went.

That was told to family members so that they wouldn't worry, but the patients couldn't actually contact them. It was feared that it would stop or slow their progress in the ward so the only thing they could do was send letters—and nine times out of ten, those didn't make it out of these walls either.

I was gone make this the last chapter but I really can't do bad endings/cliff hangers 😩😂😂😂 so lemme give yall a couple more chi