regular starters

"why would you buy chocolate today when you could wait until after valentine's day when it's all on sale?"

"no, i don't have a valentine and yes, i'm okay with that."

"i am not going to be your fake-date to this party."

"do people really still ask people to be their valentine?"

fluff starters

"who needs a date on valentine's day when i have you?"

"candles? rose petals? blankets? i don't know if i should hug you or ask what the hell you did to my apartment."

"i didn't know you were so romantic."

"don't plan anything big. let's just sit around and watch movies with pizza and hot chocolate, please."

comedy starters

"you're literally the worst when it comes to being romantic."

"they messed up on the reservations? that's okay, i was never one for fancy things anyway."

"i've never seen a stuffed animal this big in my entire life. where am i even going to put it!"

"sure, i'll be your fake valentine. i don't have anything better to do today."