"i fucking miss you"

the text san didn't expect to see at 1 in the morning and from wooyoung. it's been more than a month since they last seen each other and san really thought wooyoung was okay without him since he was okay without the blonde.

"you are awake i know it"

his phone vibrated again. wooyoung was drunk most probably. or he really missed san. either way, san knew a thing. he missed wooyoung too even if it hurt more every time he was admitting it.

"dont do this to me sannie...please ive had enough. i know i hurt you, i know i shouldn't have done that, damn it i know what an absolute asshole i am! but forgive me please"

san was reading the text the 3rd time as one tear rolled on his cheek. he's not going to cry again. he's not going to get tricked again by wooyoung.

the blonde said it himself, he was an absolute asshole and san was better without him. it wasn't that he cheated on him. he just hurt him thousands times before.

he's not going to fall again in this trap. the knives that stabbed his fragil soul won't just make more wounds.

"san fucking shine i know you are awake and i know you are ignoring me but please don't do this to me, please! i need you and i love you"

san sighed and decided to answer wooyoung. after all he won't leave him alone if he won't shut his mouth.

"listen, i don't want you to bother me ever again, okay? i'm sick of it all wooyoung

im sick of crying, im sick of pretending you are not who you are. im just sick of anything regarding you. let me forget you. i want you to be dead in my memories as well as all this pain"

he threw his phone next to him and groaned. wooyoung has to die in his head so this can end. he has to let it go just like you let a balloon full of helium get lost in the sky.

he has to let go of the rope so the balloon can float and fortunately it will pop.

"i love you"

this one last text made san's heart do flips but at the same time it started bleeding again.

"you don't"

he wasn't, right? all this 'i love you' shit is fake, it's just a lie and yeosang is right. you can hear it everywhere only sometimes it is truly sincere. and now san was thinking how does a sincere 'i love you' sounds like.

"wake the fuck up and come to my place i gotta tell you something"

san texted yeosang not caring that he might scare his best friend. he had to sort things out and yeosang always helped him to do so.

and like that hours passed and it was 3 a.m. the wind was blowing slowly outside making the moving leaves form shadows on san's room walls.

the moon's light invaded the small place making it come to life in the aesthetic silver rays.

yeosang was sleeping for sure since he didn't show up and san didn't insist. he just sat there in his bed thinking about his current situation.

why the fuck did he miss wooyoung? the blonde was far away from san with everything.

their hearts never got the chance to beat next to each other since they were too far away. both of them in deep shit, both of them hurt.

wooyoung was hurt from his previous relationship and san from wooyoung. when the blonde finally healed san was too scared to let down the barriers.

he knew what is going to come if he let his heart meet wooyoung's in synchronized beatings. they would have had to stop the synchronization at some point and it would have hurt.

even though they loved each other they were like the sun and the moon. always far away. not even the eclipse made them collide in a beautiful and new star.

most couples are like one person right? they weren't and this is what made them even more distant. wooyoung had someone else and san was too scared to put all his soul in the relationship.

"life isn't worth living without you in it, y'know?"

san let out the nth frustrated sigh that night and took his phone from the night table to see who it was. he hoped it was yeosang that told him he was in front of his door but instead he got a text that kinda freaked him out.

"what do you mean?? please don't tell me you're thinking about that"

his heart picked up speed as he waited for wooyoung to answer. he really hoped that the blonde isn't going to do something stupid.

"would you care if i do anyway?"

"of course! i just can't let you die y'know?"

"why? you still care? come and show me this. come and stop me if you really can't let me die"

san looked at the text and blinked confused. he knew wooyoung wasn't going to kill himself but he still changed his clothes and went to his place.

his brain told him to stay at home but his heart didn't listen. wooyoung is too scared to end his life and he also loves it even without san in it. he was always like this.

he told people he's going to kill himself but never did it. he always found someone new.

but san's heart just didn't want to listen. it told him to go there and spend one more night with his ex before he's definitely going to forget him.

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a/n: one more chapter left 😶
also thank you so much for 600 reads <3 i know this isn't much for some people but for me it is since i didn't expect anyone to read this lol
thank u so much♡