- 15 -
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An unsettling atmosphere hangs in the air while Jimin sits down next to the alpha and is close enough to the lake to dip his toes in. The few birds that were still chirping have now fallen silent. It seems the forest is standing still and waiting for Jimin's answer.
Despite saying, he misses his old life and wants it back, why does Jungkook say this suddenly? He's never brought it up before. Why now?
Jimin can't even tell if Jungkook is telling the truth, but based on his scent, he does. The sandalwood is more pungent with a subtle undertone of honeysuckle, making Jimin want to stay here longer.
"I miss you... and our friendship," Jungkook admits, observing Jimin's side profile before he darts his gaze back down to his feet on the earthy ground. "I'm not sure when I realised it. I guess there was always a part of me missing you. Lately, things seem different."
Jimin dips his fingers into the cold water. The pain from the cold temperature makes it difficult to ignore the spreading numbness. He doesn't care, though. It distracts him from Jungkook sitting next to him and playing with the water, giving him a calm mind. Just... how's he supposed to answer that?
"I don't think it matters really." Jimin huffs and looks into the distance. An ugly feeling spreads through him. With all feelings, he no longer knows what is wrong and right. "Seoyeon wouldn't like it."
"What does she have to do with it?" Jimin sighs, shaking his head, as he realises that Jungkook really has no idea what he means by this implication. Didn't Jungkook ever notice how she increasingly took his place in Jungkook's life when they were kids?
"Everything..." Jimin hums, looking down at his hands with a pained expression. Tears are welling up, but he tries to suppress them. Everything only frustrated him more the longer he sits there, having this conversation. "It wouldn't be the first time she made that her business."
"I don't understand..."
"Haven't you ever noticed the way she looks at me? Or all the things she did to me?!" Towards the end, Jimin becomes louder and louder as the pent-up feelings erupt from him like lava from a volcano. All that has accumulated in him over the past years pushes itself to the surface, and yet he doesn't trust Jungkook enough to tell him the entire truth. Seoyeon made them drift apart in the past, and he kept trying to tell him, but Jungkook wouldn't believe it, so he's hesitant to bring it up.
"Why would she hurt you? I don't see a reason for her to do that when we haven't spoken properly in years, and she's the perfect candidate for the head omega," Jungkook explains with a puzzled expression. Jimin looks at him in bewilderment because, for Seoyeon, there is definitely more to it. After all, she saw an opportunity as a child when their friendship fell apart, and she got involved.
"Are you sure she doesn't love you? Or you her?" Jimin can hear the pounding of his own heart as he asks, not wanting to believe Jungkook can respond in the affirmative. "After all, you have been together for quite some time."
Jungkook remains silent and clenches his teeth.
"That's exactly what I thought. Maybe you should start figuring out your feelings and stop lying to me or yourself!" Jimin is about to get up and leave, because, from his point of view, the conversation doesn't really make sense any more.
"I certainly don't love her!" Jungkook yells in a panic, adding in a distinctly quiet, broken voice, "But I can't just ignore my duties."
Why do I always feel weak when I see him in emotional pain?
Hopefully, I won't regret this decision...
Silently, Jimin settles down next to Jungkook again and tilts his head back.
"I understand that you cannot ignore your duties. But it is your life, Jungkook! Yours and no one else's, if you don't like something, then change it." Jungkook's breath catches in his throat, and his posture curls up more and more.
He never liked to change things. After a moment, Jimin turns to Jungkook and looks at his former childhood friend. Hesitantly, Jimin puts his hand on the dark-haired man's shoulder, causing him to flinch.
"Just like you are doing now. You missed our friendship and that's why you want to change something. You can do the same with your life. It won't be easy, but you can't run away forever either." Jungkook lets the words sink in for a moment. Jimin's hand on his shoulder gives him a certain security he has never felt with another person. As if he could face his worst fears as long as Jimin was with him.
"Does that mean you'll give me a chance?"
"A chance? No...I'm giving you the opportunity to prove yourself to me and to yourself. Even if we are not on the best of terms, I want you to be happy and the way you are now, it seems like you're not." Jungkook's mood immediately sours again, and the hope that has been shimmering in his eyes is extinguished. The sadness dampens his normal sandalwood scent.
"Change and find your true self, and when you have done that we can talk about being friends again. Because even though it's hard to admit...I missed you too. But the wounds are too deep for me to ignore and as long as you're still the same, there's a possibility you'll hurt me again. I can't just forgive you easily."
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Jungkook huffs as he enters the hut with freshly chopped wood on his shoulder and places it next to the fireplace. Goosebumps rise on his skin as the temperature transitions to a warmer temperature, protected from winds. The winter weather has fully set in, making the days shorter and colder. He straightens his fur coat over his clothes and bends down to the wood, which he places accurately inside an open, deep stone hearth and lights up the fire.
As the fire burns away, cracking and popping indicate the internal temperature of the wood is enough for the fire to turn into a roaring blaze. They emit waves upon waves of heat to warm the ice-cold hut that has been left once the old fire died out in the morning. Jungkook contentedly sighs. The fire gives him enough warmth to take off his fur coat and rub his hands, holding them to the orange flames and closing his eyes for a moment.
Away from interactions with the pack and responsibilities... he didn't know how much he needed it until the conversation he had with Jimin. Jungkook has been hiding in his hut for days now, simply trying to hide and avoid everyone. Sometimes he went out to catch some food for himself or get some wood from stock. But that's as far as his feet carried him.
The first day was restless and nervous for him. Somehow he had not yet understood that Jimin had given him a chance and under what conditions, let alone how it had come about to talk to him. Jungkook's aware that it was not exactly wise and mature of him to avoid everything, including his father. However, he needed the time to think about things, let them sink in, and question them. And he has. Lots of times.
Why would Seoyeon have something against Jimin?
Why did he speak badly about her?
The truth is, after Jimin and he grew apart, Seoyeon more or less entered his life consistently, and they grew closer due to their elders and their chemistry. Jimin entered his mind while growing up, yet memories soon after got buried due to pack responsibilities and Seoyeon. He doesn't remember how it happened, or the moment he started holding such a grudge against Jimin, he just knows the things he has learned about him have reinforced this.
After presenting, Jungkook took the position as a future leader seriously and was told a few years later it would be best to look for a mate. His father was flexible with going against tradition on certain things but was still pretty staunch about relationships and ruling a pack. He gave in a little, letting him choose his mate, but that was as far as he budged. At this time, Jungkook and Seoyeon had been semi-together. Jungkook thought picking her as the future head omega was a good choice.
"Change and find your true self." Jimin's words from earlier ring loud in his head as he takes a moment to take in the glow of the burning wood that constantly changes and never stays the same. These words sound like a riddle to him. What does he mean by this? Is Jungkook meant to be the head alpha? Is Seoyeon meant to be the head omega? What happened in his past made him who he is today, and what needs to change?
Jungkook doesn't notice that he is slowly becoming impatient and restless as he asks himself all kinds of questions. He quickly realises that they make him uneasy, but he still can't answer them. Jungkook spends his time sitting in front of the fire or wandering up and down his hut. He's irresponsible, but if he were to wander into the pack now, he would probably growl in anger at others and do something to regret.
As the days pass in his hut, the warmth of the fire goes to his head, but he refuses to even go out and cross someone else's path. It certainly won't be long before his father shows up here, if he hasn't already when Jungkook was out hunting.
If only things were simpler and he understood what Jimin meant. Jungkook remembers the things he knows about him, but neither did he seem heartless nor to converse with many alphas. He also seemed to have been hurt at the lake. Sitting here in the hut doesn't make things any better. He would have thought it would make it clearer what he needed to do or what was true or not, but he came to no conclusion.
Jungkook is lying on his back as another day comes to an end and he stares helplessly at the ceiling. He has stripped himself of his clothes and is only wearing something that covers his abdomen. Jungkook would like to put that aside too and throw himself into a hole full of snow. His breathing also seems heavier than usual. He tries to stay calm, but it feels like he is getting sick.
Around evening time, he tenses up when he hears a sudden noise near his hut. They're approaching at a quick pace, and it causes Jungkook to sit upright, unable to smell the scent through the door. His heart starts beating faster and his eyebrows draw together until a few seconds later someone knocks on the door and opens it. Jungkook suppresses a growl as he catches sight of the person and his nose scrunches at their scent.
"Jungkook, what are you doing on the floor?" He's still sitting in a half-upright position because the heat is messing with his head and seeing who's stepped into his hut makes him want to not get up at all. But rather send them back out.
"Are you sick?" Seoyeon's sickly sweet berries scent gives him a headache and he wants to slap her hand away the second she squats down in front of him and puts the back of her hand to his forehead. "You're hot! Are you getting into a rut? This would be the perfect opportunity for us to get closer and finally bond."
She smiles innocently at him, but Jungkook does not feel like smiling at all. Instead, Jimin's smile comes to his mind, and he unconsciously lets out a growl.
"Why are you here?"
"Don't growl at me like that! I came because I was worried. You've been gone for days. We thought something happened to you."
Jungkook snorts, but refrains from commenting further. He's so close to throwing her out as he feels bothered by her presence in her hut. "I didn't tell you to come here. There is a reason why I am here."
Seoyeon's berry scent becomes potent and sour, face pulling into frustration. "Look, let me help you up to your bed and I can help you. Like I said, it would be a good opportunity to bond."
Jungkook growls, understanding that she implies to have sex. It might be true that he's gone into a pre-rut when he thinks about it, yet it doesn't mean he has to have sex with her. "For fuck's sake, can you just go? Even if I am in pre-rut, I don't want your help, okay?"
"Why are you so difficult-"
"You don't get to say that. It's my rut. Why the heck do you insist on helping me? I don't need your help."
Seoyeon's hands clench into fists as Jungkook sits up properly, her cheeks turning pink with anger and Jungkook can tell it's the last straw to break the camel's back. "That's because we never had sex! Don't you think it's weird that you've always rejected me so far? How am I supposed to become the future head omega and get pups when you've always said no until now?"
"Pups?" Jungkook chuckles in amusement at her accusations. "Neither my father nor my mother said anything about pups. It's still my choice and I don't feel comfortable thinking about this right now. Besides, I don't see myself being intimate with you. Maybe that's why I've always refused so far."
"Are you kidding me? Does this have something to do with Jimin? Is that stupid bitch responsible for you acting like that all of a sudden? Has he now turned your head too? Yes, I saw you at the lake, but I didn't think you'd be one of the alpha's being charmed by him."
Jungkook's face hardens, and this time he actually lets out a growl, nostrils flaring. "He has nothing to do with this! Leave him out of this conversation. I'm here of my own free will to have some peace and quiet. You're not helping the situation. I'm getting furious, and I'm losing my patience. So leave or I will throw you out!"
"Any other alpha would be willing to say yes."
"Good thing I'm not any other alpha," Jungkook bares his teeth and overpowers Seoyeon's scent in his hut. She swallows and rises her chin high, clearly furious about the way Jungkook react. However, he couldn't care less. He has been spending his ruts alone so far and he plans to do that for this one too.
"Is he helping you through your rut by any chance?"
This is the last straw for Jungkook. An intense, fevered stare is directed at her, and an animalistic growl roars in his throat. He's on the verge of lunging at her and pushing her out to punish her for her words. His fists shake and before he realises what he is doing, he grabs Seoyeon's arm and pulls her out of the hut with a hatred expression. Angry tears blur his vision as he is about to close the door, but stops short.
"You've completely lost your mind now," he snarls, fingers gripping the door tightly and knuckles turning white. "And don't you dare talk about him again."
Jungkook is quick to slam the door behind him, unwilling to wait for her answer. His chest is heaving with anger but he's unsure what's the exact cause for this. He feels overwhelmed and collapses on the door with a rising body temperature. Jungkook throws his head against the brown wood and closes his eyes. He's taken aback when his body is flooded with a wave of arousal, and he's overshadowed with wet fantasies. Right then, he knows the stress and other emotions might have induced his rut.
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N/A: Thank you for waiting so paitiently!! This really means a lot to me for not stressing me out. This story is one of my favs but since it's slowburn it has become so so difficult to write so that's why it took me so long to write + 2 months of author block but it's better this month :]
A big thanks to Lucilia, Amy and Scar for helping me with the plot, brainstorming, sorting things out and everything <3 I can't be thankful enough. Esp Lucilia this chapter wouldn't have existed ๐ญ๐๐ love you guys so much. You helped individually with diff things
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