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𝟣𝟣 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗎𝗍𝖾𝗌 𝖺𝗀𝗈. . .

"i filmed a video at the beginning of this week and could not, for the life of me, get it to upload. i don't know how i fixed the file or what, but the video is now live! i'm deciding to start my new year this month, aka february, because january sucked. and to start off the new year, i wanted to begin with a clean slate and just answer questions i've been avoiding. am i nervous knowing that anyone can watch this now? yes, but the truth and having a clear conscience is more important to me. just keep an open mind, that's all i ask. i love you."

ユーチューブ // 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐛𝐞
𝙖𝙢𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙡𝙖𝙟𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙨 𝗁𝖺𝗌
𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝖺 𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝗏𝗂𝖽𝖾𝗈!

𝗮𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗹𝗮𝗷𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀⠀ 18.2 𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘶𝘣𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘴
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𝟣𝟤 𝗆𝗂𝗇𝗎𝗍𝖾𝗌 𝖺𝗀𝗈. . .

#𝟏⠀𝙾𝙽⠀𝚃𝚁𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙸𝙽𝙶⠀𝙿𝙰𝙶𝙴!

►⠀▷|⠀𝘷𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘮𝘦 : ▮▮▮▮▮▯▯▯⠀⠀𝟬:𝟬𝟬 / 𝟮𝟭:𝟯𝟴
𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐈'𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆.
𝟯𝟭𝟵,𝟳𝟮𝟬 𝘃𝗶𝗲𝘄𝘀 • January 11, 2019
𝟵𝟲.𝟱𝗸 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝘀 ⋯ 𝟱𝟮 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝘀

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𝗺𝗶𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗲⠀⠀𝟬:𝟬𝟭 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱𝘀

clasping her hands together, amandla smiles at the camera. ❝ hello everyone. welcome back to my channel or welcome to my channel if you are new. my name is amandla and i am so happy that you are here. ❞

𝗺𝗶𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗲⠀⠀𝟬:𝟬𝟱 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱𝘀

amandla lets out a breath. ❝ wow, i haven't done that introduction in so long. i've been doing so many gaming and commentary videos, and vlogs that i almost forgot what my introduction is usually in other videos. ❞ she laughs. ❝ before we get into the topic of this video, i'll go ahead and address the elephant in the room—yes, i dyed my hair brown. do i regret it? not yet.

❝ also! happy new year! i hope all of you are well and your loved ones are doing good. i love you all so much and thank you for all your support last year. it means so much and i love you all. anyway, for today's video, i am going to be answering questions i've been avoiding. i've seen a few people do this type of video recently and decided it's time i do it as well. these are all questions that were sent to me from you all via instagram, twitter, and my youtube conversation board. a lot of these were asked hundreds of times and ones that i've been asked for a while but never answered. i see a lot of what people say in the comments and i'm going to be honest, as i always am with you all—yes, i avoid answering some stuff.

❝ however, i never want to be known as the girl who constantly has rumors being spread because she doesn't ever address anything. i also want to be someone who can genuinely live up to the honest narrative they spread about themselves, and i haven't truly been in a long time. but when am i supposed to sit down and talk about everything at once? ya know? so, that's this video. ❞ amandla cringes. ❝ all i ask is that anyone watching this hears me out and keeps an open mind. you're free to have your opinions and i encourage that. just watch this in its entirety before you assume or comment anything. i want to start the new year with a clean conscience and just answer everyone's questions. ahhhh, i'm nervous. let's get started. ❞

𝗺𝗶𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗲⠀⠀𝟭:𝟭𝟴 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱𝘀

amandla lets out a breath and places her phone down. ❝ let's start easy: what's your body count? ❞ she laughs, covering her mouth. ❝ this is one of the easy questions, i swear and i said nothing was off the table so... but uh... ❞ she clears her throat. ❝ in all seriousness, my body count is three. to follow this up, how many people have i dated, exactly? i've only dated three people as well, and yes, i only had sex with those three people. my first relationship was with a girl, her name was ryan and she was fantastic. we dated for like... five months, i believe. we were friends for a year prior. this was when i was sixteen. i talked about this in a livestream two years ago. ry, if you're watching this—i hope you're thriving and living your best life. love you forever. i have yet to date someone who can cook as amazing as you do.

❝ i also dated tom holland and ethan dolan. i was with tom for almost six months, and ethan and i broke up the day before our one year. yup, so body count is three and so is the number of people i've dated. next! ❞

𝗺𝗶𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗲⠀⠀𝟮:𝟮𝟬 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱𝘀

❝ okay, so these next six questions coincide with the ones i just answered. ❞ amandla says, glancing down at her phone. ❝ how old were you when you lost your virginity? how would you rate your first time? why don't you talk about your sexuality? why did you never do a coming-out video? did you and rowan miguel ever date? and have you ever dated a girl? ❞

she places her phone down and looks up. ❝ these are ones that i've been asked since two-thousand-and-sixteen so i'm finally answering them. i've answered almost all of them before, but not everybody has watched all of my content or follows me on all of my platforms, so this is where i'm just addressing all of it. first, i lost my virginity when i was seventeen-years-old and to my ex-girlfriend ryan. before tom, i only ever talked or went on dates with girls. tom was the first boy i ever took a real interest in that went further than a celebrity crush. so that answers the first and last questions. second, my first time was with ryan and i feel like i'm one of the rare ones where my first time was a ten-out-of-ten. i enjoyed every second of it.

❝ third, if you've ever watched my gaming and commentary videos, then you would know that i talk about and reference my sexuality quite a bit. as well as talk about the LGBTQ+ community frequently. the same goes for my vlogs. it's not a topic i shy away from and i think why people believe i do is because i'm primarily known for my fashion, makeup, marvel/dc videos, and vlogs. which i don't mind at all, that's what i originally started out doing and what i still do. for anyone who doesn't know, i am a proud and raging bisexual.

❝ fourth, i never did a coming out video because i didn't feel the need to. i've known that i like girls since i was seven and that's a fact that i never saw as wrong. my parents were very open and my mom's side is made up of a lot of LGBTQ+ members. not being straight is something that i grew up believing was beautiful and normal. however, looking back in hindsight, i do regret not doing a coming out video or at least a video discussing my own sexuality. not everyone is able to or has the privilege to come out in a safe environment, or is scared to, and i know that sometimes seeing others come out can be encouraging. my perspective is one that comes from privilege and it's important i acknowledge that. so, although i never felt the need to make a coming-out video, i do wish i had.

❝ fifth, have rowan miguel and i ever dated? no. rowan and i have never dated. we've kissed but it's always been platonic. people need to recognize that platonic kisses exist and it's okay to kiss your friends as long as they're comfortable with it and consent. don't kiss someone if they don't want to be kissed. not everybody is cool with that. but you can kiss someone and have it be a completely platonic thing. ❞

𝗺𝗶𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗲⠀⠀𝟰:𝟯𝟲 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱𝘀

❝ next question, ❞ amandla says, looking at her phone and sighing. ❝ all right, so this is one i have been asked ever since april eleventh, two-thousand-and-seventeen. it's the number one thing that has flooded my comments, dms, channel board—everything—for years. it's a question that i haven't answered for many reasons. one of those being that i didn't know all the facts until recently. the question is: did you cover for tom holland when the cheating scandal broke out? and did tom actually cheat on you? ❞

she pauses. ❝ i can already hear twitter stans and news outlets scrambling for their keyboards. ❞ she laughs half-heartedly. ❝ before anyone comes at me, tom knows that i am answering this question for the record. so, i'm not doing this without his knowledge. the answer to this question is not simple and i really wish it was because it would make everything a lot easier.

❝ before i answer, i'd like to give a background on what exactly it is i'm referencing. at eleven-fifty-seven on april tenth of twenty-seventeen, a twitter user by the handle SEBSBRAT tweeted an eighteen-second video. the caption read, "y'all... my friend just sent me this. she went to a club tonight for her sister's bday and she caught tom fucking holland making out with someone who isn't his gf i'm shook wtf is happening." ❞ as she speaks, a screenshot of the tweet pops up.

❝ immediately, the tweet went viral, which was expected. in the video, it shows tom kissing someone who was not me. now, did i cover for tom when the cheating scandal broke out? yes, i did. i ask that you listen to what i have to say before you comment, make assumptions, or write some bogus article. if anyone says anything differing from what i'm stating in this video, it is not true. these are the hard, cold facts that have remained stagnant for almost two years. tom will give the same story i am now if you were to ask.

❝ i saw the video of tom kissing another girl in real-time—so at the same time as everyone else. i didn't know about it and was extremely upset. i asked if he cheated on me and he did not give me an answer. i was not given an explanation or anything. so, i broke up with him over facetime and made it clear that we were not on speaking terms.

❝ then, i went to instagram and made a post claiming that we'd broken up a month prior when we had not. i took full responsibility for everything and lied. something i never should have done but i did it out of love and respect. tom had worked so incredibly hard in his career to get to where he was. homecoming was about to come out and he had new movie deals coming. news like this has the power to affect and end careers, and i didn't want that for him. i didn't want to watch him fall and get hate, so i took the blame.

❝ at the time, i believed that he did in fact cheat and it was because i did something wrong, which wasn't true, but that's how i felt. it was my first public relationship with somebody who was also a public figure and i was very much still a kid. i was nineteen and made choices with my heart, not my head. if the same situation happened to me now, i wouldn't make the same decision i did then.

❝ now, did tom actually cheat on me? no. it was a PR stunt orchestrated by his previous management team and he had no idea that it was planned. he was at that club that night, but before the video was filmed and it was to pick up his assistant, who needed a ride. he never once cheated on me. however, i didn't know any of this until after i moved to london. he didn't tell me at the time because of legalities and fear. which still doesn't excuse what happened, but the two of us have talked about this quite extensively.

❝ this is the first and last time i will be speaking on this topic. it is not something i like to talk about because it is so deeply personal and truly did affect me a lot. so i'd appreciate it if people would drop it and move on. tom and i are working to move past it. please do the same. ❞

𝗺𝗶𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗲⠀⠀𝟵:𝟬𝟯 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱𝘀

amandla appears back on screen with glasses on. ❝ had to take a break because my contacts were bothering me so now i'm wearing my glasses. ❞ she says, grabbing a mug off-camera and picking up her phone. ❝ the next question is, did you move to the UK to be with or closer to tom? ❞ she laughs.

❝ i can definitely see and understand why some people may assume or believe this. especially considering tom lives in the UK, but no. i did not move to another country for a man that i once dated. if you've been watching my videos for a while, you would know that my best friend and i have been talking about moving to london for years. she moved out here to be with her boyfriend and i decided it was time for me to start moving on. you don't grow when you're comfortable. overall, the choice to move was a personal one that had nothing to do with tom or anyone else but myself. ❞

𝗺𝗶𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗲⠀⠀𝟭𝟬:𝟯𝟵 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱𝘀

❝ why did you and ethan's relationship end? did you break up with ethan dolan so you could be with tom holland? ❞ amandla reads, locking her phone. ❝ ethan and i's relationship was extremely private for the majority of the time. so are the details behind it and out of respect for him and what we had, i'm going to keep it that way. our relationship ended because it was time. i was not the one who ultimately called it off. ethan was and i completely respect his decision. i love him very much and we're friendly, but it'd be a lie to say that we're friends in the way that we used to be. i'm still incredibly close with the family and gray though. ❞ she smiles.

❝ before someone points out that i didn't mention tom, he was not part of this relationship. it was solely between ethan and i, and it will stay that way. i won't be divulging any details. so if that's what people are waiting for, i'm sorry but that's not who i am. we're real people and deserve the right to keep particular details about our lives and relationships to ourselves. i appreciate everyone who supported and was happy for us. we appreciate it a lot, but that chapter has closed. ❞

𝗺𝗶𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗲⠀⠀𝟭𝟮:𝟱𝟱 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱𝘀

amandla sighs. ❝ all right, this next one is the most personal so i'm going to keep this quite brief. ❞ she announces. ❝ why didn't you publicly talk about your father's passing? ❞ clearing her throat, she blinks a couple of times. ❝ i have opened up a lot about my family on my channels and have talked about my family history, but this was something that i was not comfortable sharing on the internet. my family and i recently went through a very hard time. my dad got very sick and passed away around this time last year. i didn't want to hear about it online, from press outlets, or from friends. so, i kept it private. a very small group of people knew and that was it. i'm so incredibly grateful to everyone who knew and was there during that time period. to those individuals, thank you. ❞

𝗺𝗶𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗲⠀⠀𝟭𝟯:𝟯𝟭 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱𝘀

❝ next, are you leaving youtube? please address the rumors that you are. ❞ amandla reads. ❝ okay, i don't know where or how or who started this rumor, but i've seen a few comments talking about me leaving youtube. i just want to say that i am absolutely not leaving. i want to do this for the rest of my career and don't plan on stopping any time in the near future. possibly when i retire, but even then i doubt it. i will never be done screaming at video games and ranting about naruto and harry potter. if i ever do decide to leave, my exit will be proper and handled with care. i won't leave all of you hanging.

❝ a couple of other people have been asking now that i'm single, will i be getting back with tom? ❞ she laughs, looking up from her phone. ❝ i know a lot of people are still rooting for tomandla. i see y'all on twitter... i know. uh, the truth is i can't answer that. our history is tainted and there's a lot that needs to be worked on. tom and i have become friends again. we do spend time together. i've additionally spent time with his family over the holidays, but that is because my mom and i are notably close with them. as for tom and i's future, i don't know. i'm not opposed to the idea, primarily because i don't know the future and what the universe has in store for me. we could get back together or we might just remain friends. we'll have to see. also, i just got out of a serious relationship and am taking time before jumping into a relationship before i'm ready. ❞

𝗺𝗶𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗲⠀⠀𝟭𝟱:𝟱𝟵 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱𝘀

amandla laughs as she reads the next question. ❝ damn, i can't believe people noticed this. ❞ she says, looking up from her phone. ❝ why don't you drink any more? there were videos of you, whenever you were on vacation years ago where the drinking ages were eighteen, drinking. ever since then, we haven't seen you drink or talk about drinking. ❞

clearing her throat, she places her phone down and adjusts her glasses. ❝ when i was eighteen, i for sure drank on vacation in places where it was legal. have i ever drank underage? yes, twice. once on new years eve when i was seventeen and on halloween in twenty-sixteen. as for the present day, i'll enjoy a glass of wine or champagne here and there, but i'm not a fan of beer or whiskey. i'll have vodka or tequila on rare occasions. i just don't like to drink and prefer to be in the present. i don't like not being in control of myself, my body, or what i say. as i've gotten older i feel as if i've grown out of that wanting to get hammered or tipsy stage. i despise being hungover and love to wake up early and be super productive in the morning, and drinking kind of hinders that at times. ❞

𝗺𝗶𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗲⠀⠀𝟭𝟳:𝟬𝟬 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱𝘀

❝ do you smoke or have you? we know keilah winters and avery denjeil have in the past. ❞ she reads. ❝ i did once, but hated it and threw up. ever since then, no, i have not. i've been around them and others when they've smoked. i don't have a desire to and never have. i tried to once purely out of curiosity, but that's all. my friends respect that and always have. keilah and avery both don't smoke anymore, actually. ❞

amandla laughs as she reads the next question. ❝ top or bottom? and did tom holland ever top you? girl, we all remember the iconic tweet. ❞ groaning, she closes her eyes. ❝ y'all are dirty, but i've been asked this for years because my dumbass really thirst tweeted that shit. for anyone who doesn't know, you can look up the tweet. i'm not gonna say it, but yes. tom holland did top me and i topped for him. uh, as for whether i'm a top or bottom... ❞ she trails off awkwardly, chuckling.

❝ god, i can't believe i'm answering this. uh, i'm a switch. it depends on who i'm with. surprisingly, i'm more submissive with women and more dominant with men. yeah, it doesn't make sense to me either but here we are. ❞ she shrugs, gesturing with her hands slightly. ❝ next question! why did you never move to LA? nearly every popular youtuber does. to put it bluntly: LA is a little bit overhyped. the pollution and inflated taxes, the abundance of egos, the sense of superiority just because you live in LA or have a following make you better than anyone else—it can be toxic.

❝ i say this personally from my experience and perspective. it's my opinion and one that not everyone will agree with. some people may have a completely different mindset towards LA, and i respect that. i, however, prefer to live somewhere i genuinely love and want to be there purely for myself, not my career. youtubers and social media influencers have the luxury of doing their job from anywhere, so why would i want to live in an area that adds more pressure to an already pressured job? i'd like to say i do respect those that live full-time in LA with this as their job. you're brave. ❞

𝗺𝗶𝗻𝘂𝘁𝗲⠀⠀𝟭𝟵:𝟰𝟰 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱𝘀

the clip cuts. ❝ and we are at the end of this video! ❞ amandla says, clasping her hands together. ❝ so, that was me answering all the questions i've been avoiding answering or have answered but not on a large scale. this has been a long time coming and i wanted to begin this year with a clean slate and answer everything. i really hope you stayed until the end and watched this video in its entirety. i know some people likely didn't, but i hope some did.

❝ each and every one of you are entitled to your opinion on anything i talked about in this video and i encourage you to share it if you would like. just be mindful of your words and be respectful. you can disagree with someone without being cruel. the topic of the cheating scandal, tom and i's history, and ethan and i's breakup will not be touched on further. yes, all of those things happened. yes, they are now part of me but no, i will not be talking about them for the sake of earning brownie points in the drama community or to spread negativity. that has never been something i've strived for nor advocated for. this is a place where we talk about any and everything, but those are topics that are off-limits.

❝ there are have to boundaries with this job and that is one of them. please respect me and my decisions, both past, and present. i've made mistakes but i've also taken the time to work on them, myself, and become better. do the same.

❝ as always, i love each and every one of you to the moon and back times 6,000. see you soon. ❞

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╰┈ ⊰ 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒚 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒔 ❞ ⑊ ⎯⎯ : ⊱˒ ♡

⌇ 𝘯𝘰 𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯⠀|⠀𝑛𝜊 𝑓𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑠⠀꒱
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     hey everyone!! i hope you all enjoyed the ninety-ninth chapter!

     this was a chapter i heavily debated on publishing and including. not many influencers (that i've seen) have opened up like this online. i thought it was fitting and something amandla truly would do. she cares so much about her audience and tries her best to be honest online. obviously, she hadn't done that recently and i felt it was important to her character to take this action.

     i will be showing a bit of backlash for/from this video, but not a ton. it's very true that influencers get backlash from things like this, but it's not a main focal point toward the rest of this story.

     QUESTION: did any of you ever think that amandla would tell the world the truth?? do you think she addressed everything well? let me know your thoughts!

     𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐑: the youtube layout was made by me (as well as the thumbnail), so, if you want to use it, you must ask for permission. DO NOT STEAL! writers & creators spend a lot of time on their stories and to take their own work and claim it as original and as your own is downright rude. please, have manners and class, and ask for permission. i would really appreciate it if anyone who reads this asks permission BEFORE they try to use my layouts, storylines, chapters, and graphics. i will and do find out.

     𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐘 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑: thank you all for taking the time out of your days to comment on this story. it means a lot and helps the story be spread to a wider audience &&& gives me the opportunity to grow as an author. all i ask is that people vote on each chapter, please. as a creator, it takes time to write and develop stories. especially social media-based ones because there's so much to take into consideration and the amount of time i've dedicated to finding graphics, screenshotting everything kelsey simone (and other characters) posts, making graphics, etc., is ridiculous. so please, vote on every chapter. it means a lot more than i could ever express.

     don't forget to vote & comment!