♡ ₊˚.༄

𝐒𝐇𝐄 ── ◦'𖥸'◦ ── 𝒮ℋℰ
𝖺𝗆𝖺𝗇𝖽𝗅𝖺 𝗃𝗈𝗇𝖾𝗌 𝗑 𝗍𝗈𝗆 𝗁𝗈𝗅𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖽
𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟴𝟭 ╱ ╱ ☁️🤍 ˚◞♡

────── ❛ 古い習慣 ❜ ──────

実生活 // 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

     "HARRY, IF YOU GET KILLED BY SOMEONE NAMED MRGIBBY420, I AM GOING TO HIT YOU." PADDY THREATENED FROM WHERE HE SAT ON THE DARK GREY COUCH WITH AMANDLA, SAM, AND TOM. "Harry, don't—are you kidding me?!" the youngest Holland shouted, standing up and staring at the TV screen in disbelief. The only thing that could be heard in the house was the sound of a pillow being thrown and someone sighing heavily.

     Turning his head slowly, the curly brown-haired boy smiled cheekily. "Oops?" he shrugged innocently, causing Paddy to groan loudly.

     "Oh my, God. You're trash," Amandla snickered, covering her mouth with her hand as she laughed. The boy had barely lasted two minutes in the game before getting killed. He was worst than Grayson was when he first learned how to play Fortnite.

     At her words, Harry was quick to look her way. "Oh, really? Let's see you play then," he scoffed, taking off the headset and handing her the PS4 controller. Standing up from the floor, he gave her a challenging look as he took her place on the couch.

     Snatching the controller and headset out of his hands, the blonde smirked. "I'd get a box of tissues if I were you Harry, 'cause you're about to be crying like a little bitch when you see that I can last way more than two minutes, not get shot in the face by someone named Mr. Gibby, and win the entire round," Amandla said cockily, plopping down on the floor. Paddy burst into giggles while Tom was laughing silently, shaking his head as Sam snorted.

     "I bet the last Chelsea bun that you'll lose." Harry stated confidently, ignoring her words. There was no way she would last more than a minute.

     The words Chelsea buns reached her ears and she grinned. "Oh, you're on." Amandla replied, not even bothering to glance back as she chose to randomly be put in a squad on Apex Legends. This was a game that she played a million times with Ethan, Jacob, and KC online almost weekly. Out of their team, she was the one who always survived the longest and had the most kills; along with always won the game for them. This was about to be a piece of cake.

     Sliding on the headset, the YouTuber was immediately bombarded with a clash of two high-pitched voices. "Holy hell, I've been assigned to a squad with preschoolers," she winced, reaching up to adjust the microphone.

     "Who're you calling a preschooler, bitch?" One of the voices fired back.

     Amandla's jaw dropped as everyone in the game dropped to Lava City. It was game time, ladies. "I'd watched your back, honey. I don't give a fuck if we're on the same team, I won't hesitate to make you eat these bullets," she snapped, moving the controls to begin running forward.

     From behind her, Paddy and Tom laughed while the twins' eyes grew wide; they'd never watched the blonde play video games before so this was the first time they ever heard her trash-talk anyone.

     "Haha, I like her," the other voice laughed.

     A bright smile spread across Amandla's face. "Aw, thanks," she responded, ducking behind an RV.

     "Ew," the anonymous asshole grumbled as shots fired in the background.

     "Y'all hear somethin'?" Amandla remarked, picking up a gun and pack of ammo as she could hear someone giggling from behind her.

     "Y'all smell that? Smells ugly and poor," the voice countered back.

     Rolling her eyes, the YouTuber aimed her gun and took out two players. "You're smelling your upper lip," she mumbled offhandedly, jumping off a ship and landing on the ground.

     "She's officially the funniest person we've met on here, Charlie," the nicer one out of the two laughed. "She hates you just as much as I do."

     "Shut the hell up, KJ," Charlie snapped sharply, causing the blonde to snicker.

     Running forward, Amandla hid behind a wall as a squad of players ran by. "KJ? Like KJ Apa? 'Cause he's fine as hell and could easily steal me from my mans any day," she joked.

     At her words, the curly-haired twin glanced at Tom. "We already know she finds you fine as hell," Harry whispered, wiggling his brows suggestively.

     Tom looked over at his brother and narrowed his eyes, "Shut up."

     "I mean... I'm not KJ Apa or a dude, but I'll happily steal you from your mans any day," KJ stated as a bomb went off in the distance.

     Amandla gasped, "In that case, we're girlfriends. Fuck men!"

     "Hell yeah! Fuck men!" the other girl cheered as shots echoed.

     "Can you both shut up?" Charlie groaned, and KJ scoffed.

     "Wait, is that Charlie? Damn, I almost forgot you were even here, dude," the blonde sighed dramatically, rolling her eyes.

     The boy scoffed, "Have you ever heard of the word annoying? That's you."

     "Have you ever of an ugly ass bitch?" Amandla countered back, her tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth as she shot three people in less than a second. Laughter erupted from the other side of the headset and she smirked. "That's you. Don't come for me with that shitty microphone that sounds like it was made with a toaster."

     "Out of everyone in the world that's playing, of course, I get stuck with some annoying ass bitch who clearly doesn't realize her place is in the kitchen, not Apex."

     Amandla's mouth dropped at his blatant sexism and she turned around before shooting Charlie's player until he dropped. "And out of everyone in the world that's playing, of course, I get stuck with some eleven-year-old who clearly hasn't realized it's the twenty-first century and that women belong anywhere they damn well please, and that calling any woman a bitch in a derogatory manner will get you killed on Apex and kicked in the balls in real life. Don't be fucking rude." Amandla breathed out in less than seven seconds, cracking her knuckles as the words You are the CHAMPION flashed across the television.

     She slipped off the headset and let the controller land on the floor softly. Pushing off the ground, she smiled happily as she skipped toward the kitchen, grabbing the last Chelsea bun. Upon returning to the living room, the blonde snorted at the shocked expressions on the boys' faces. "Remind me to never piss you off," Sam gulped, nodding his head slowly.

     "I forgot to mention that I play Apex Legends with Ethan, Jacob, and KC all the time. Also, I have a second YouTube channel that's solely dedicated to gaming. So, that bet you made, Harry, was destroyed the moment you said it." Amandla winked, holding back her laughter at the impressed but defeated expression on Harry's face.

     Tom smirked, shaking his head as he chuckled softly. His gaze landed back on Amandla and he felt a sense of peace resonate in his heart. The entire night had been like they'd transported back in time to a point where things were normal, and they were together.

     It felt good, really good, to be in the presence of her and doing nothing but hanging around. He hadn't felt this content and happy in a long time, and he never wanted the way he was feeling right now to ever end. However, he knew that when she left, it would.

     "Amandla," Nikki called as she walked into the living room, causing the girl to immediately look her way. "Since it's getting late, would you want to stay the night? I don't want you driving back to your place in the pitch black."

     Blinking, Amandla hesitantly nodded. "Yeah, sure, thank you," she breathed, forcing a soft smile as the woman nodded.

     "Of course. Padster, you've got school in the morning, it's time you went off to bed." Nikki announced, raising a brow as she nodded back to where the stairs were. The youngest Holland groaned and begrudgingly left the room after fist-bumping the blonde goodnight. Nikki trailed behind him as they walked upstairs.

     Clearing his throat, Tom stood up from the couch and smoothed down his jeans. "You can sleep in my room. I'll bunk with Harry and Sam," he said, running his hands through his hair. Amandla nodded and fist-bumped the twins as well before she and Tom left the living room. As they passed by the front door, she grabbed her purse and briskly ran up the stairs.

     Turning left, Amandla smiled slightly at the familiar hallway. The same framed photos of the family had remained on the wall and the door to Paddy's room still had the printed out heart she'd put on it two years ago. At the end of the hallway, the two momentarily halted as Tom opened the door to his bedroom and flipped on the lights. It was just like everything else in the house—unchanged and unaffected by time.

     "Do you remember that small emergency bag that you insisted on me keeping here at the house?" Tom randomly asked, the sound of his voice causing her to look away from the bed. She nodded. "Well, I still have it," he laughed, pulling it out of his dresser.

     "Oh my, gosh," Amandla snorted, shaking her head as she took the marble bag from his hands. "Shoutout to young me for being a smart cookie and leaving this here."

     Tom chuckled as he opened up another drawer, digging around before finding the clothes he was looking for. Turning around, he held them out for the YouTuber to take as she sat down on the edge of the bed. "You can borrow some of my clothes to sleep in for the night. Sleeping in jeans isn't the most comfortable, so..." he trailed off awkwardly as she took the clothes.

     Averting her gaze downward, Amandla could feel the beat of her heart stop. He'd unknowingly given her the Mid-town High t-shirt she used to love sleeping in, along with her favorite pair of plaid pajama pants that she'd attempted to steal from him multiple times and successfully did after the first half of the Spider-Man: Homecoming Press Tour concluded. Gulping, she took in a shaky breath. "Thank you," she choked out, glancing up at him.

     Nodding, the brown-haired actor pressed his lips together anxiously. "I'll uh, leave you to change and do whatever. I'll be downstairs with Harry and Sam," he added, heading toward the door. Amandla nodded, watching as he left the room.

     As soon as the door closed, the blonde quickly changed out of her jeans and into the soft pajama pants. Grabbing the emergency bag that held all of her essential items such as a toothbrush, toothpaste, makeup wipes, and skincare products, she exited the room and went to the bathroom to get herself undone for the night.

     Once she was done, she retreated back to Tom's room and placed the bag down. Pulling her hair up, she put it in a bun right as her phone began to ring. Furrowing her brows, she walked over to the dresser and saw that Ethan was FaceTiming her.

〘 视频对话 〙
𝐄-𝐓𝐄𝐄-𝐖𝐄𝐄-𝐓𝐄𝐄 🐢💚
𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃ㅤ 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄ㅤㅤ𝐓𝐎
𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ !
𐃆ི𖥾 𖧷𖥣𖡼𖥧 𖠣

𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗇𝖾𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀. . .

❨⠀amandla ─ ethan⠀❩

"hey pretty," amandla smiles happily, "you look awfully comfy."

ethan chuckles. "i wasn't able to sleep on the flight. the guy i was sitting beside kept sneezing and some kid was kicking the back of my seat. so, now i'm hiding from grayson and snuggling with a pillow. i wish it was you though," he sighs.

amandla pouts, "i miss you."

"i miss you," ethan repeated, sending her a soft smile.

"have you heard anything from your mom yet?" the blonde asks, placing the phone down as she finished changing off-camera.

he nods and a frown appears. "how was dinner?" he questions, changing the topic.

amanda sighs, allowing him to avoid her question for now. "it was okay. i got to see nikki, dom, and paddy, which made me really happy. however, during dinner—"

"wait, whose shirt is that?" her words were caught off the moment she'd picked up her phone and her upper body and face came into view. a sinking feeling settled in the pit of her stomach as she had completely forgotten whose clothes she was wearing. "amandla, where are you right now?"

the blonde could feel the blood draining from her face at his words as she felt like she was going to be sick. he had also used her full name. that was how she knew she was in deep shit with anyone. "t-they're tom's. nikki offered for me to stayed the night. she didn't want me driving back in the dark, especially since i barely know my way around—"

ethan interrupts her rambling, sitting up in bed. "so, am i correct in assuming that you're in his room right now?" he asks, raising a brow.

"yes, but—"

"are you sleeping in there?"

"would you stop cutting me off? i'm trying to explain, but you're jumping down my throat before i can—"

"amandla, what the hell?! why are you even still—"

"ethan, shut up!" amandla snaps; the sound of his full name causing him to go silent. "first of all, nikki offered for me to stay the night. it is already nearly midnight here and she didn't want me driving home in a city that i'd just move to in the dark. second, i didn't have any clothes with me. i wasn't anticipating staying the night, ever. so, tom let me borrow some clothes to sleep in. third, he is going to be sleeping in harry and sam's room. we aren't sleeping anywhere near each other. so, take a breath."

ethan groans, running a hand over his face. "i don't like this. i'm not comfortable knowing you're wearing your ex's clothes, staying the night at his parents' house, and are sleeping in the same bed you used to sleep in with him." he states firmly.

"what do you want me to do, ethan? sleep in my jeans? drive back to my place in the dark? what?!" she asks exasperatedly, lowering the volume of her voice as she realized how loud she'd unintentionally gotten.

"i don't know. all i know is that i don't trust this... whole situation." he says hesitantly, glancing at the camera to see the frustrated expression written across the blonde's face.

the moment his words sunk in, it felt as if her throat had gone dry and she was taken aback. "do you not trust the situation or do you not trust me?" she asks slowly, sitting on the side of the bed that faced the closed window blinds; her back to the door.

"right now? kind of both." ethan confesses, huffing.

there was a sharp pain in her chest and it felt like her heart had stopped beating. a surge of anger and sadness overcame her as she stared at the brown-haired boy on her phone screen. after everything—all the conversations they'd had—after all the bullshit they'd been through—that wasn't enough. despite knowing everything he did about her and how badly the cheating incident affected her, it still wasn't enough. he didn't trust her.

"i thought that after everything, the amount of trust we had in each other would never waver or change. i thought you knew me well enough to know that i would never, ever do or say anything to anybody to jeopardize our relationship. i love you, ethan. you are the person i'm dating. you are the person i see a future with." amandla stresses; praying that he believed her.

"you say this as you're sitting on his bed," ethan points out, allowing his jealousy, frustration, and pain to speak for him.

"this isn't my fault! i didn't plan on staying the night!" she argues, keeping her voice low.

ethan rolls his eyes, "you never plan for things to happen, amandla."

"what the hell is that supposed to mean?" the blonde retorts, narrowing her eyes.

"it means that you didn't plan on moving to the uk, yet you did. you didn't plan on seeing your ex your first full day after moving, yet you did. you didn't plan on him telling you the truth and that he loves you, but it still happened. you didn't plan for him to show up at your place after squeezing the address out of harrison, which you should have anticipated, yet he showed up. you didn't plan on reuniting with his family, yet you did. you didn't plan on spending the night in his bedroom in his clothes, yet you are. you don't plan for a lot of things." he exclaims, running a hand through his hair; his cheeks tinted pink from the anger that was boiling up.

amandla felt a lump rise in her throat and she quickly shoved it back down. "are you saying that this is my fault?" she asks incredulously.

"yeah, i am," ethan admits. her jaw dropped and she was about to respond when he started talking again. "it's your fault because you're too fucking perfect, and he knows it. he knows what he wants and it's you."

"i don't care if he wants me, ethan. i'm with you! i choose you!" amandla's voice cracks and she quickly clears her throat; blinking back tears.

he scoffs, "you say that but your eyes tell a different story when you look at him."

it was at that moment that she felt her heart splinter right down the middle. it was at that moment that she felt everything around her fall apart. his words were like a stab to the heart because she knew it was true and there was nothing she could say to defend herself. they both knew it.

"i can't do this," ethan breathes.

"wait, ethan, please don't—"

"i'll talk to you later."

𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘩𝘢𝘴 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘥.

     EVERY INCH OF HER BODY WAS TREMBLING AS SHE LOWERED THE PHONE, HOLDING IT UNDER HER CHIN AS SHE HUNCHED OVER. Pressing her lips together, she ignored the sobs that were threatening to scatter as tears fell down her cheeks. Her blonde hair wrapped around her like the cone of a lampshade, hiding her face from sight once she let her hair down. She shakily tossed her phone, not caring where it landed.

     Allowing her hands to crawl up and over her head, she buried her fingers into the thick wavy mess, squeezing firmly. The top of her forehead just barely brushed against her legs as she cried softly, shutting her eyelids as tightly as she could.

     Why did this have to happen? Why didn't she just leave earlier? She should have left, but she didn't; she stayed and she knew why. It was almost for the same reason why she looked at Tom differently than she did Ethan. The exact reason that had been twisting her thoughts and emotions; the exact reason why she felt as if she hadn't been able to breathe ever since Tom told her that he loved her.

     A sob racked its way up her chest and her lips parted as it was released. Every muscle in her body quivered as she tried to keep the sound of her sobs as quiet as possible. The last thing she wanted was for someone to hear her crying her heart out.

     "Hey, I don't know how tired you are, but Harry wants to—Amandla?" Tom's voice seemed to echo around the room as the door was hastily shut. Think of the devil and he shall appear. "Hey, is everything all right?" he asked, and the blonde felt the bed dip down.

     Taking in a deep breath, she untangled her fingers from her hair and pulled them back down, quickly wiping away her tears. Of course, someone walked in. She could sense his presence to the right of her and she twisted her head to the left, desperate to wipe away the flood of tears that was neverending.

     "What's wrong?" the brown-haired actor asked; his entire face had blanched and he felt a sick sensation of guilt settle in the pit of his stomach. Maybe it was the clothes or the room. Maybe it was too early for any of this. Maybe this had nothing to do with what was happening—he didn't know. All he knew was that he wanted to fix whatever was wrong.

     Only two minutes of utter silence had passed when Amandla felt a familiar set of fingers lightly grasp onto her chin and turn her head to the right. There was no fight left in the girl as she allowed her gaze to align with Tom's.

     Upon seeing her bloodshot eyes and the tears making their way down her face, Tom didn't hesitate in bringing his other hand up. Cupping her face, he brushed his thumbs across her cheeks, wiping away her tears. Raising his gaze, he was briefly startled to see that Amandla was already staring at him; a sorrowful look reflecting in her eyes. Without thinking, he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and placed his hand against her neck and jaw as he ran his thumb over her skin again.

     Every inch of her body was tempted to instinctively melt into his touch, but she couldn't. It was a small gesture, but she couldn't. No matter how much her body craved to, the familiarity and comfort in his touch were too dangerous.

     "You can't do that," she whimpered; tears blurring her vision once again.

     Tom furrowed his brows in confusion. "Do what?" he asked quietly, noticing the reemerging waterworks.

     "Touch me like this," she mumbled, pulling her head back.

     "I-I'm sorry," he stammered, mentally kicking himself. "I didn't fully realize—I just—I was just trying to comfort you."

     Amandla forced a frail smile, nodding. "I know you were, but it's too much for me," she murmured.

     "What do you mean?" Tom questioned, placing his hands in his lap.

     Why couldn't things be different? Why did her heart have to be such a jerk and feel the way it did? Why couldn't she just let go of him—let go of how she felt? Every part of her wanted to spill her guts right then and there. She wanted to tell him how screwed up everything was; how she hadn't been able to breathe properly ever since they originally talked. She wanted to tell him how everything had changed for her and how she'd been doing her darndest to convince everyone that his confession hadn't brought back any romantic feelings. She wanted to yell at him and scream to the skies about how she'd only gone from living in one lie to another.

     The lie that she didn't feel anything towards the brown-haired Brit when she knew that she did. Despite being just as in love with Ethan as ever, she still had feelings re-emerging for Tom.

     All she wanted was to be able to feel the air reaching her lungs and to talk to him, but she couldn't. It wasn't fair to him or Ethan, in her eyes.

     How was she supposed to talk to her ex-boyfriend about a fight she just had with her current boyfriend without it being weird or hurting him? And how was she supposed to talk to her current boyfriend about the re-emerging emotions, memories, and temptations she had toward her ex-boyfriend? The answer was simple: she wasn't. So, she kept her mouth shut.

     It was better that way, anyway.

     If she didn't voice her thoughts and feelings, it made them less real, right? If they weren't released into the universe, nothing could happen.

     "I want to be able to talk to you," she whispered after a moment of tense silence; her hazel-green eyes darting between his. "I really want to, but I can't. And I feel bad for saying that because I feel like it's not fair to you, especially since you told me how you feel. I should be able to return the gesture, but I can't. I'm sorry."

     Frowning, he shook his head in disagreement. "Mandy, I know why you can't say anything and I completely respect it and you. You don't owe me anything. And you don't have to apologize to me, ever." Tom reassured her, reaching over to hold her hand, but quickly recoiling.

     There was an aching pain in her chest as she nearly winced at his instinctual reaction. It hurt. Everything hurt and Ethan's words kept circulating in the abyss of her mind: You say that but your eyes tell a different story when you look at him.

     Shaking her head, Amandla diverted her eyes away from Tom. "What uh, what'd you come in here to ask me?" she asked roughly, clearing her throat as she changed the topic; desperate to keep herself from thinking about everything that was happening.

     At her question, Tom blinked. "Oh, Harry wanted to watch Deadpool. I was coming to see if you wanted to watch it with us if you aren't too sleepy," he replied, standing up from the bed as he tried his best not to stare at her for too long.

     "Uh, yeah, sure," she nodded, standing up from the bed and shutting off the lights as she followed him out of the room.

     The two wordlessly made their way downstairs and as they walked to the living room, Amandla caught a glimpse of herself in a nearby mirror. Immediately, she cringed at the sight of her puffy cheeks and red eyes.

     Anyone could tell from a mile away that she'd been crying and she hated it. She hated how weak and vulnerable she looked. If it were possible, the blonde attempted to always keep her moments of fragility to herself in private. She never wanted anyone to see her at her lowest and perhaps that was due to feeling like she had to stay strong for her parents' marriage for years on end or how she forced herself to be the secure and sane one out of the two Jones' women when her father was in the hospital. Either way, she had conditioned herself to keep the junctures of despondency and heartache to solely occur when she was alone. The number of times anyone other than her mother had seen her cry could be counted on less than two hands and she was determined to keep it that way.

     As they entered the living room, Amandla breathed a sigh of relief to see that the only light on was the one glowing from the TV screen. "Aye! The queen has rejoined us!" Harry cheered, a bright grin spread across his cheeks.

     Snorting, the YouTuber shook her head and plopped down on the couch next to Sam. Grabbing the red blanket from his right, the freckled-faced twin turned to hand it to Amandla. The moment his gaze landed on her, his brows were quick to draw in as he noticed her appearance. "Hey," he murmured; his hushed voice capturing her attention. Tuning out the sound of Harry and Tom bickering over who was using the Spider-Man blanket, Amandla met Sam's concerned stare. "Is everything all right?"

     Taking the blanket from his hands, she bit down on her lip as she threw it on top of her. "Ethan's pissed at me," she reluctantly mumbled; her voice only loud enough for Sam to hear while she adjusted the blanket to cover her feet. Out of the twins, she didn't mind talking to Sam about what was going on too much. He was in a relationship as well and had faced his own difficulties. If anyone in the room was going to be able to relate to her or be the most trustworthy to talk to it was him.

     "Did you not tell him that you were having dinner here? I thought Ethan was there when Tom invited you." Sam whispered, growing confused as Harry sat down next to him without a blanket. There was a bitter look on his face as he snatched the TV remote out of Tom's hands.

     Glancing at the other brothers, Amandla was tempted to chuckle at the middle fingers they kept throwing at each other. "He FaceTimed me when I was upstairs and saw that I wasn't wearing my clothes and I wasn't back in my house," she muttered morosely, leaning back into the couch as the movie started.

     "Shit," Sam hissed, his eyes growing wide as he mimicked her actions.

     "He isn't okay or comfortable with me staying the night here," Amandla admitted, glancing over to see that both Harry and Tom had started bickering over the Spider-Man blanket again; neither of them focused on the movie.

     Frowning, the freckled-faced twin turned to face her a bit more. "You two have almost been together a year, shouldn't he trust you enough to stay the night here and know that nothing will happen?" he proposed, raising a brow.

     Amandla pressed her lips together as a lump rose in her throat. "I thought he would, given everything we've been through, but I guess not. Apparently, when Tom came over, he noticed the way that I stare at him. It's not the same way that I look at Ethan, and we both know it. Hence, why he doesn't trust me," she grumbled, playing with the rings on her fingers.

     "Oh." That was all Sam responded with, for he didn't know what to say. He wanted to swoop in and root for his brother, but he also knew that Ethan was special to Amandla and it wasn't his place to say or do anything. So, he stayed silent.

     A temporary frown was written across his face throughout the entirety of the movie; his thoughts running wild as he continuously glanced at Tom and back to the blonde, both of whom watched the movie with blank stares.

     It was obvious to Sam that neither of them was there mentally. Although it was for different reasons, both Amandla's and Tom's thoughts ran parallel; the thought of the other entangling itself in their mind.

     Everyone knew they were meant to be. Tom knew it and Sam was pretty sure that Amandla knew it too. Now, it was just a matter of whether she was going to hold onto her love for Ethan or listen to what her gut was telling her.

╰┈ ⊰ 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒚 𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒂𝒌𝒔 ❞ ⑊ ⎯⎯ : ⊱˒ ♡

⌇ 𝘯𝘰 𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯⠀|⠀𝑛𝜊 𝑓𝑙𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑠⠀꒱
˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙ ˙

     hey everyone!! i hope you all enjoyed the eighty-first chapter!

     yikessssss... ethan really went there. i mean, he has a point but like... it wasn't necessary, kind of.

     writing that scene where tom instinctually went to grab amandla's hand hurt. shit hurted.

     i absolutely loved writing this chapter and reading it. the entire conversation between ethan and amandla gives me chills. idk why, but i hope you all enjoyed it as well!! btw, apex was not made until feb 2019, but i changed it to earlier because i love that game and kelsey (aka amandla) plays it, so it fits.

     QUESTION: how do y'all feel about tom?? i've noticed that some readers are over tom and others are rooting for him. comment your thoughts here!

     𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐘 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑: thank you all for taking the time out of your days to comment on this story. it means a lot and helps the story be spread to a wider audience &&& gives me the opportunity to grow as an author. all i ask is that people vote on each chapter, please. as a creator, it takes time to write and develop stories. especially social media-based ones because there's so much to take into consideration and the amount of time i've dedicated to finding graphics, screenshotting everything kelsey simone (and other characters) posts, making graphics, etc., is ridiculous. so please, vote on every chapter. it means a lot more than i could ever express.

     don't forget to vote & comment!