x. friendship bracelet

Thump. Thump. Thump.

A heart beat against a hollow chest. Aching for escape. Burning in agony. Is this what a heart attack felt like? Each breath felt like needles. A burning fire lit the back of the throat. The pain was engulfing while numbing at the same time. Suffocation threatened with each ache of breath. 

The house was far, but not far enough. A mob followed, hot on their hidden trail. She could hear them, the faint yells, and the dim lights of the flashlights carried by known islanders. Nova's hand shook as she attempted to get the key into the lock. Only growing more frustrated every time she missed. Tears streamed down her cheeks, blurring her vision. Her chest still ached, and her throat burned. And she couldn't do this for much longer. 

With open palms she hit the wooden door, splintering her hand. Fresh, frustrated tears found their way down her red cheeks, "Fuck! C'mon, open dammit!"

Then came a faint click, and Nova felt the door loosen under her touch. She didn't even take time for a breath of relief before pushing the door open and latching it closed behind her and John B, making sure the locks were back in place. Now, with a jagged sigh, Nova leaned her back against the closed doors and slid down to the floor, her head in her hands, and she cried. 

John B. followed, a protective arm moving to draw her into his side. He turned his flashlight off, and for about an hour and a half, they stayed in the same position. 

He moved first. After the noises stopped, he stood on the dusty wood floors. He slowly moved the windows draped with expensive curtains. Carefully, he pulled the thick material to the side. He shook his head, nothing. They were alone. 

The cops and search party had moved on. The lights from the cracks in the curtain lit the floor no more. Footsteps on the porch had gone, and the voices faded with each step they took away from their sanctuary.  

Nova remained on the floor. Knees brought to her chest; hands tangled in her hair as the palms of her hand cupped her ears to drown out the noise that followed them. Her breathing was still heavy, and her sight blurred from tears. 

John B. moved over, stopping to stand before her, she looked up at him through her wet lashes, he dropped, crouching to level their gazes. He reached out, taking her wrist, pulling it away from her head. He held it for a moment, tracing small circles into her skin. 

"You wanna move?" he asked carefully, and Nova nodded. "Okay, stand up, come on. Don't worry I have you," he whispered as he helped pull her off the ground. John B. was careful and kept a hold onto her, noticing the slight wiggle of her knees. "Come on, let's go upstairs."

She followed him, hand in hand, up the tall staircase and down the darkened hallway, turning into a bedroom at the end of the hall. 

Tarps littered the bamboo floor. Stained with splatters of paint and drying brushes. The walls were lined with blue tape as a few singular splotches of paint had been thrown onto the sanded walls. The same tarps covered the newly delivered furniture that had been placed in the room. This would be one of the last rooms to be finished. 

While Nova stood, looking around the room, John B. tore a tarp from the bed, revealing the new full-sized frame and mattress. No sheets or comforters. Only two pillows were laid without cases. 

He had to lead her to bed. She still wasn't saying anything. Nova lay, looking at the ceiling, her eyes running along the rough edges. Her hand absentmindedly stroked the back of John B's head as he rested it in the crook of her neck. His hot breath tickled her bare, cool skin. 

"Can you remind me of the happy ending again?" John B's lips moved against her. 

"Tomorrow morning I'm going to go and meet with everyone to try and arrange an escape plan," Nova recounted the Nolan had drilled to them on the ride to the house. "But that's the last resort. That's if Nolan can't find a way to get ahold of my dad and his team of really good lawyers."

She felt him nod, the curls of his hair dropping to her chest. 

"Sounds good," John B. said, but Nova could see the doubt in his eyes. "But what if we have to use the escape plan?"

"Then we go to the dock," she sighed, tracing John B's cheek as his head turned up to look at her. "There will be a boat waiting for us and we'll go to Mexico while the others look for another solution."

He sat up, eyes widening in surprise, "We?" John B. asked, looking down at Nova. "We'll go to Mexico?"

Nova smiled, "We'll go to Mexico," she nodded. "Just me, you, and the white, sandy beaches."

John B. fell back again, his back flat on the mattress, one arm brought behind his head, he was still smiling. With his other arm, he moved Nova toward him, where she lay her head on his bare chest, tracing the outline of the small scar on his side. It happened the day she and Sarah hid him from the police. The day she forced herself into his life. 

And still, after everything, she wouldn't change anything. 

He leaned down, kissing the top of Nova's head, "I think we'll be okay... just me and you."

Smiling, Nova raised her head, her chin resting on John B's chest, "I love you."

John B. ran his calloused hand over Nova's cheek, tucking loose strands of hair behind her ear, "I love you too."

For so long Nova thought she knew what love was. Something callous and malicious. Love was made to hurt and bruise. She was broken so many times because of it. And because of this, Nova felt as if she was incapable of being loved. Like, for some reason, she didn't deserve it. 

But it wasn't that she didn't deserve love. Nova knew that now. It was because what Nova knew as love was not. She'd never felt the real thing. It'd all been a fabrication of her mind because of her desire to feel loved. She allowed herself to believe the pain she felt was love. Except now she knew. Love was not malicious or meant to bruise. Love was warm and kind. It was peace and butterflies in her stomach. Love was beautiful and difficult. 

And now, Nova knew she was capable of love. All because of the way the boy before her loved her. 

She'd never felt so loved before. Not as she did right now. While hiding away in a dark, empty house. It was there while clinging to him, that Nova knew. John B. was now forever ingrained into her. 

Leaning down, he kissed her. Soft and careful at first. Then, moving toward him, it deepened. Now, he really kissed her. Deep and passionate they fell into one another. Their breath became one. The heat rose to Nova's cheeks as John B's tongue found hers. He pulled himself into a sitting position where he pulled Nova onto his lap, needing more of her to touch, to explore. 

And she fell to him. Allowing him to seek the parts of her she hadn't before. She moaned as his lips found the soft spot under her ear and followed down the trail of her jawline. Her head fell back, exposing her soft neck to him, which was like a magnet to his lips. She smiled, biting her lips, finally grabbing his face and bringing his lips back to hers, missing him already. 

She needed more. Nova felt restricted. So, letting her hands fall away from his face, Nova's hands dropped, gripping the hem of her shirt. Quickly she pulled it over her head and tossed it aside carelessly. And it was like her body called to him. He hadn't even needed to look up before his hands found her newly exposed skin. Clutching onto her, John B. pulled her closer to him, his hands leaving marks of pleasure in their wake as his fingers dug into her. They moved, his hands, up and down her sides, around her back, and chills followed. 

John B. stopped, his hands softening his touch around her waist, forehead resting on hers, he breathed heavy, "Are you sure?"

Nova drew back, her eyebrows creasing in confusion.

"Do you want this?" he asked again. 

She leaned back in, placing a soft, quick kiss on his lips, "I want you..." she whispered. "I want all of you."

John B's hand became buried in her hair. He kissed her again. This time the back of her head fell to the bed as he moved, hovering over her. His breathing was heavy like her own. And his skin was hot under her cool touch. Her fingers trailed his arms, memorizing him. She looked up, eyelashes fluttering. 

"I love you," he reminded her. 

Nova's heart soared. She'd never been treated so delicately before. She'd never been loved like this. Or touched like this. Her body hadn't responded to anyone the way it does with him. Nova wanted him. Every part of him. She was ready to surrender. 

"Show me..."

She wished on passing stars that morning would never show. That the sun would become lost behind the clouds and the moon would say forever high in the night sky. Daybreak meant the end of the peace that fell upon them. The peace brought by the quiet, night sky. Peace brought by love and passion. But her pleas fell upon dead ears, and the morning sun rose in the blue sky. And the people woke to accept the new day. The island woke too. Jobs had to be done. 

Nova woke with the new sun. Morning sounds drawing her from her peaceful slumber. The birds sang outside the closed windows. Cars passing on nearby streets. And the slight vibrations coming from the desk beside her end of the bed. 

A new day had come upon them. Ending the night that had wrapped Nova so safely. There was no more pretending she could do. This was not her forever. The night she and John B. made for themselves was only that... one night. Nova had to face reality again, face the fact that the boy she loved was wanted for a murder he did not commit. 

Unanswered texts flooded her phone. All from Nolan making sure she was awake. She wasn't, but when she finally did text him back, she didn't let him know that. He was on his way, which meant she too, had to go. 

Looking over, Nova smiled. John B. lay, still sleeping, not yet meeting the new day. He seemed so carefree. All his muscles relaxed. Softly, Nova ran her hand across his cheek before leaning down to kiss him softly. 

Standing up from the bed, Nova used a stained tarp to cover herself. The weight shifting in the bed stirred John B. and slowly he began to wake up. 

"What're you doing?" he rolled over to face her, though his eyes were still closed as he reached for the pillow where her head had once rested and pulled it close to him. 

"Nolan will be here soon," Nova told him as she pulled her clothes from yesterday back on. "He's driving me to meet JJ."

"Mmm," John B. hummed before yawning. "And what's my job during all this?"

"Just stay hidden, please."

John B. sighed and rolled his eyes. He hated this ─ doing nothing. Everyone else was bending over backward to help him, and he couldn't help them. He felt useless. Especially while he watched Nova prepare to go out there just to try and save him. He felt guilty. 

He sat up, the pillow he held falling to rest on his lap. His bareback fell, resting on the headboard. Looking at it made Nova bite her lip and her stomach fill with butterflies. She remembered the way he'd reached above her, clutching the wooden headboard as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. 

Smiling, Nova crawled into the bed beside him, kissing his shoulder. 

"I don't want to leave you," she confessed. 

He leaned, his forehead touching hers, "So don't."

The low rasp of his tired voice and the nipping at her shoulder blade was tempting, and John B. knew that, doing it on purpose. And Nova would be lying to say she didn't actually consider just being there with him, all day. 

But a knock at the front door brought her back. Nova groaned rolling her eyes, "That's Nolan."

Leaning back over to him, Nova placed one last quick kiss on John B's lips before leaving him on the bed alone. He sighed, his head falling against the headboard. Nova laughed as John B. winced at the impact. 

"Don't go," he reached out for her hand. 

Nova pouted, letting John B. pull her toward the end of the bed where he wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his head against her stomach. She laughed, massaging the top of his head. 

"I have to go, John B," she told him. "I'll be back soon enough. I promise."

He looked up, "I love you."

Nova sighed, stepping out of his hold. Confused, John B. watched as Nova began to mess with a string tied around her wrist. Blue, green, orange and pink were brained together and knotted into a bracelet that Nova managed to untie. She'd made this one herself during a storm about a year ago. Out of all the bracelets on her wrist, that one was the oldest now. She hardly ever took them off. Except for today, she knew she had to, at least this one. 

Taking John B's hand, Nova carefully retied the string around his wrist, smiling as she did so. It blended nicely with the bandana and other rubber bracelets that decorated his wrist. It was nothing but a small sentiment, but for some reason, her heart swelled while doing it. 

"Nova Scott," he looked up; she loved hearing him speak her name. "Are you giving me a friendship bracelet?"

"Not giving... letting you borrow," she told him. "I'll be wanting this back."

It was a promise. For both. She'd make it back. Now she had to. She had to make sure that she got her bracelet back. 

John B's hand snaked around her neck, making her lean down to him, and he kissed her. She smiled against his lips. Again, he was trying to tempt her into staying. 

"If I don't leave now, Nolan will come in here looking for me," Nova warned him. 

John B. laughed, letting his hold on her fall, and she backed away. And the last words she heard from him before latching the door closed were yet another reminder of his love for her. Smiling, she made her way back down the stairs and to the front door. 

"Well," Nolan stood leaning against the door frame when Nova pulled the door open. "It's about damn time."

Nova sighed, pushing past her older brother, "Sorry I got distracted for a minute."

Nolan's face scrunched in disgust as he automatically started assuming the worst, "Gross."

She laughed as she and he turned for the jeep parked noticeably in front of the house. She slid into the back seat, seeing that Sarah had already occupied the passenger side. 

"Here," Nolan turned, handing Nova an old gym bad that had been his from years ago. "Sarah and I packed you a bag."

Grateful, Nova unzipped the old baseball bag, revealing all that she was missing this morning. A hairbrush, toothbrush, toothpaste, breakfast, and her pills."

"Thank god," she sighed. 

Nova firstly pulled the clothes out. Automatically she knew that it'd been Sarah who packed them. A pair of cut-off khaki shorts and a grey T-shirt. Nolan, though a simple outfit, would've picked the first few articles of clothes he saw, and Nova would end up in a dress and a pair of denim pants under it. 

She changed in the backseat. Nolan was careful not to even glance at the back until Nova announced that she'd finished. And went on to take her pill, washing it down with the bottle of water that had also been packed for her. 

"You should eat too," said Nolan. 

Nova sighed. He was right. She would never feel good after taking her medication on an empty stomach. So, from the bottom of the bag, she pulled out a nature valley granola bar and began to chew on it. 

She finished readying herself when they parked in the lot in front of Kiara's parents' restaurant. Where earlier, Sarah had driven Nova's car. There she quickly brushed her teeth and hair that had only been knotted on the top of her head. Now she was able to quickly braid it behind her head, though a few strands still managed to fall in front of her face, she didn't care enough to redo it. 

"Have you been able to get ahold of dad?" Nova asked her brother, going up to his window to rest her arms on.

He shook his head, seeming disappointed, "Not yet."

She nodded; a nervous pit grew deep in her stomach. Her dad and his lawyers were essential. If there was any chance in John B's name being cleared. 

"Do you remember what you're supposed to do?" Nolan asked, quick to change the subject. 

Nova nodded, "Gather supplies at the dock, get the boat, and get back to John B..."

Nolan and Sarah were going to sit guard at the empty house, watching John B. and the streets that led to him. They'd be keeping everyone updated. And Nolan would continue to try and reach his dad. 

"Easy enough, right?" Nolan laughed, but it didn't reach his eyes. 

Nova nodded. Sure, she thought, easy. But she couldn't move. And she said nothing to Nolan. 

He looked, becoming worried, "You good?"

"I just ─ I need a second."

She turned, sucking in a deep, jagged breath. She shook her head and willed the tears threatening to spill away. Nova heard the door to Nolan's jeep open and seconds later he came up behind her, spinning her around. 

"Hey! Nova, look at me," he shook her slightly, holding her shoulders. She looked up at her older brother. "We can do this," he told her surely. "Okay?"

"Nova, we're going to get through this," Sarah had also gotten out of the car to check on Nova. 

Nova nodded, looking between Sarah and Nolan. Two people she loved and trusted most in the world. If they thought it'd work out, then she'd trust them. She'd have to. Because there was no way she was going to give up. 

"Yeah...okay," she sighed again. 

Nolan grinned and wrapped his arms around Nova. He squeezed, again whispering to her that they would all be okay. She wasn't sure if he believed his own words, but she latched onto them, just so she could get herself to walk out of the parking lot. 

And it worked. Somehow, she'd made it into the restaurant, Nolan and Sarah standing, watching her closely before she disappeared behind the door at the back of the brick building. 

It was quiet. And completely empty. A blast of cool air greeted her and when the door slammed closed shut behind her, JJ appeared. He was holding an armful of bread loaves and peanut butter. Nova looked for the others, expecting Kiara and Pope, but they never showed. 

It was only the two of them. 

"It's quiet," Nova commented. 

JJ nodded; he'd just finished filling a large crate on the shelf with random foods. Nova could make out multiple loaves of bread, peanut butter, and even lunch meats. Having just finished, he stepped out from behind the shelf he'd been working behind the meet Nova. 

"Kiara and Pope are getting gas for the boat," he told her, leaning his lower back on the metal counter. "So, it'll just be me and you for now."

Nova nodded; she had no objections. 

"How is he?" JJ asked suddenly. "How's John B. holding up?"

It was a difficult question to find an answer to. Because Nova didn't really know. How should John B. be holding up? He didn't talk about it. Not last night. Not this morning. He didn't even bring it up. And a pang of guilt stung Nova because she hadn't asked him. 

"He's scared," she told JJ. "He doesn't say so, but I can see it."

"Yeah well, aren't we all just a little afraid?"

He was right. At least, he was about Nova. Because she was absolutely petrified. But instead of talking about that, her gaze found the crate of food sitting behind JJ. And she nodded toward it. 

"You think that's enough food?" she asked. 

JJ sighed, turning, seeming thankful for the change of subject, "It'll be good for a couple of weeks," he told her. "That's all the two of you will need."

"Good," she whispered. 

She quickly brought her lip in between her teeth to keep the quiver out of her voice. JJ watched this, also noticing the way she began to wring her hands together and blink back and tears that glassed over her sad, green eyes. 

JJ stepped forward, his hands moving to cup either of her arms. And still, with her lip between her teeth, she looked up to meet his gaze. 

"This is only a backup plan," he reminded her, and she nodded, already knowing that. "You're brother's gonna get help."

He didn't move. He didn't let go of her. He waited until he felt her muscles relax under his touch. And for her to finally release the lip that she'd chewed red from between her teeth. He waited until she'd calmed down. 

JJ needed her here with him. He needed her present. He knew he wouldn't be able to do this without Nova. She couldn't lose herself to her nerves. Because JJ knew that Nova might be the only person able to balance him. 

And under his touch, she seemed to find her sanity again. She'd be okay.

"Stay with me today, Nova," JJ plead.

"I promise."

Somehow JJ's house was everything Nova thought it'd be. It was a big house. Probably nice too at one time. A deck wrapped around the bottom level. But the wood was rotted and planks were missing leaving random holes throughout. The siding had started to fall onto the overgrown grass below. Random windows shattered, covered with black trash bags and duct tape. And sections of the roof caved in, threatening to fall inward. 

It saddened Nova because she was able to see the beauty that once was the home. She wondered if JJ ever got to see it at its prime. 

He sat beside her, their eyes following the same path. Only he stiffened. His hands balled into fists beside him, so tightly that his knuckles had turned white. His jaw was clenched, mouth shut tightly. And she swore she saw him shaking. 

Feeling her gaze on him, he sighed, "Home sweet home."

But there was nothing sweet in JJ's tone. Or in his demeanor. He was not happy to be here. It seemed like sitting here caused him pain. Suddenly, JJ tore the hat from his head, slamming it down on his lap before running both hands through his blonde, messy hair. 

"I can go with you," Nova offered, and JJ's head turned to her. "If you want me to," she quickly offered, and his gaze softened. "Do you want me to come with you?"

It was like he wanted to say yes. But he wouldn't. Not when he knew what was waiting for him behind the front door. So, he shook his head. 

"I'll only be a second," he told her. 

She watched him cut across the lawn and step onto the deck. Easily he avoided the holes and disappeared behind the door, but not before turning back over his shoulder, and nodding in Nova's directing. Assuring her that he would be alright. 

She waited for him. Chewing her lip as she watched the minutes pass by on her dashboard. Falling back, she sighed. Nova found herself wishing that she'd gone with him. She should've gone with him. She remembered his bruises. Maybe she could've helped him. 

In an attempt to distract herself she watched them pass by overhead. Pointing out the cloud shapes to herself. She'd do this with Nolan when they were young. Together, they'd lie on their backs on the trampoline behind their house and watch the clouds overhead calling out resemblances. Their mom had shown them this and for a while it was their favorite way to through the day. 

Having been so engrossed in her cloud watching, Nova didn't notice JJ walking back toward the car. It wasn't until the door opened beside her that she even noticed him returning. She looked over, her heart breaking at the sight of him. 

JJ's eyes had become red and swollen. He'd been crying. 

"Are you okay?" she asked stupidly. 

He sucked in a sharp breath through his nose, "He uhm ─ he told me that he loved me," JJ nodded, taking a second then laughed, though nothing was funny. "And then I stole his keys."

Dangling from his finger was a key ring holding a singular, silver key. Rusted in some spots, but it was the key. He smiled or at least tried to. This was a good thing, right? He had to do this. 

"He was so drunk he didn't realize that we were in summer," JJ sniffed, bringing the keys back down to rest on his lap. "I'm surprised he even remembers who I am sometimes."

He thought so lowly of himself. In his own eyes, he was unimportant. Useless. But Nova would disagree. Their time as friends have been short. But in that short time, she's gotten to know JJ. He wasn't this troublesome criminal that the people on the island made him out to be. JJ had so much more to offer. He's smart, in his own right, of course. He's protective, sometimes insanely so. JJ is funny and kind, and he's helped Nova already countless times. 

Thinking about it, Nova couldn't ever imagine forgetting the snarky blonde boy in cargo shorts. 

"Well, for what's is worth," said Nova, offering him a small, but genuine smile. "I think you're worth remembering."

JJ offered Nova a tight-lipped grin, "Thanks."

She watched as he put his hat back on his head and shoved the key deep into his tan pockets. He waited while Nova once again started her car and was quiet as she pulled away from the house that had never been considered a home. 

The trees passed by them in a blur. The car was silent other than the whooshing sound of the air conditioner cooling their warm bodies. And occasionally JJ would point her to a turn or remind her to where they were headed. Since there was no exact address on where they were headed, Nova had to trust JJ to get them there. And hopefully in one piece. 

She wasn't as worried as she had been at the beginning. JJ had gotten better at reading Nova. Every time he would see her bottom lip taken between her teeth, he knew it was the nerves, and he'd remind her of what they were doing, and he'd assure her that he was going to get her through it. And he was good at it ─ calming Nova down. They were a good team. 

The boat that JJ's been referring to had been kept in an untouched warehouse. Located on a lonely dock it sat, locked with a rotting chain. Easily, JJ was able to cut through them and push the large, barn-like doors open. He led Nova inside, and there would be no missing the boat that floated on still waters in the center of the warehouse. 

JJ's eyes glowed as he walked to it. His hands grazed the sides that'd been covered in dust, and a smile broke out on his lips. 

"Here she be, Nova," he told her, eyes still glowing in excitement. "1983 formula... 402 SRI," JJ gushed, saying words Nova didn't understand. "The Phantom."

"Hm, it's nice," she said.

Her voice held not an ounce of the excitement that JJ's did. But if she and John B. had to sail to Mexico, at least they'd have the Phantom to get them there. 

"It was the first boar to make a run to Bermuda in under 16 hours," he told her, expressing just how nice this boat is. "Forty years old," he gushed. "And still, the fastest thing that Kildare's ever seen."

Nova couldn't help the growing smile as she watched the light in JJ's eyes shine. His excitement was contagious. And for a second it eased her nerves. 

"It looks a little old, JJ," she shrugged. 

It was a nice boar. JJ was right on that. But there was no denying the age. 

"Are you serious?" his eyes widened in horror. "Nova, she can hear you!"

"JJ, it's a boat... I just need it to run."

"Oh, she'll run alright."

He was so confident in the hunk of metal before them. He patted it like a pet. Whispering small, encouraging words to it. Nova laughed. She wanted to ask if she needed to step out, to give JJ and The Phantom a moment alone. But before she could a loud screeching noise from the back of the warehouse drew their attention away. 

They looked to the back before their gazes met. Both of their eyebrows creased. 

"It could just be Kie and Pope with the gas," JJ assured her. 

Nova nodded. She moved toward the back preparing to open the doors to help them in any way she could. But as she neared the butt of the boat the doors opened on their own, and a trace of a smile on her face had been wiped clean. 

"You're not Pope and Kiara..."

She backed away as Rafe stepped toward her, a sadistic smirk plastered on his face. 

"Sorry to disappoint," he whispered. 

Nova's hands twitched nervously at her sides, and she gulped, "What're you doing here, Rafe?"

"I could ask you the same thing," he tilted his head to the side, taunting her. "What do you have going on here? JJ, what's this you have here?"

Rafe whistled his approval as he stepped onto the boat. He too seemed impressed by it. Taking his hand along the deck railing. Nova could see it, Rafe was high. He was no longer here with them. His eyes were red and his pupils dilatated. Beads of sweat dripped from the top of his forehead. And he couldn't hold eye contact for long. 

Nova was careful to keep a safe distance away from Rafe. Knowing now what he's capable of. But she kept her eyes on him. Not wanting him to be able to surprise her the way he did at the airport. The way he appeared from behind the plane would continue to haunt her. 

But then she heard a gun. Not a shot of one, but the cocking of it. She turned; Barry was here too. His gun touched JJ's chest. This was the retaliation everyone was warning him about. Barry was here to even things out with JJ. 

"Don't think I forgot about me and you on the side of the road!" Barry yelled at JJ, who had raised his hands above his head, surrendering. "I want my fucking money!"

Barry's hand locked around JJ's neck, and he threw him onto the floor. JJ hit the concrete with a hard thud. Nova yelled, not recognizing her own, horror-stricken voice. She lunged for Barry, but as if he knew what she was going to do, Rafe caught her from around the waist. She kicked and punched at him, still yelling for JJ, needing to know he was alright. 

"Come on, Nova," Rafe grunted as he pulled her away from where JJ lay, being punched over and over. "You know it's not you that we want..." he whispered, leaning into her ear. "Where's John B?"

Nova stumbled when Rafe finally let go of her, and she turned him, her hand raising that going across his cheek. She hadn't realized what she'd done until the palm of her hand started to burn. 

Rafe smiled, stumbling back, he took his thumb over the spot on his lip that bled from Nova's nail digging into it, "You shouldn't have done that..."

"You killed her, Rafe," said Nova, her bottom lip began to tremble, but she wouldn't cry ─ she wouldn't give Rafe the satisfaction. "You shot Peterkin! You're a murderer!"

Mentioning the murder that he committed ─ reminding him of it, flipped something in Rafe. All light in his eyes left. Only darkness stared back at her. Any form of the person she knew before today was gone. His face reddened as he closed in on her. 

"Don't ever say those fucking words again!" his hand reached out and closed around her throat, Nova gasped, fighting for air as she pulled at his wrist. "Do you hear me?"

Her eyes were wide. And her heart was threatening to beat out of her chest. She clawed at his hand and arm, but he wouldn't move. The more she tried to fight him the more he'd squeeze. It was like a game to him. He'd make her fight ─ struggle for a breath, and he'd let her have a taste of one, before tightening his grip on her even more. 

It was a reminder that he was in charge. 

Rafe continued to demand to know where John B. was hiding. But even if Nova wanted to, she couldn't tell him. She couldn't breathe. Her vision was becoming splotchy, and her legs weakened beneath her. Rafe was going to put her out. He was going to let her pass out. That, or he was going to kill her. 

She could hear JJ yelling her name. But he wasn't able to get to her. He wouldn't be able to save her before Rafe had his way. 

And just as Nova began to accept her fate, when the need for breath became too strong, his hand fell. Rafe's hand dropped. And Nova gasped. Now holding her own, burning throat. She coughed, her head pounding. 

"Don't touch her!" 

She heard Kiara yelling. And she watched as she brought down an old crowbar to his Rafe's shoulder, making him fall onto his knees. She moved to swing again, but Rafe was faster, and he grabbed the crowbar, pulling it, so to close the distance between him and Kiara. 

Nova, backed against the wall, still gasping for air, watched as Rafe threw the crowbar and lunged for Kiara. But there was a body put between them at the last second. Pope. It was Pope that had jumped on Rafe. 

Barry turned at the growing commotion, giving JJ a window to fight back. He took Barry's wrist, twisting the gun out and kicking it away from him. It stopped beside Nova's foot, and she kicked it even further away. Away from Rafe, and even Pope. No one else needed to be shot today. 

"Pope..." Kiara's tone softened as she tried to pull him away from Rafe. But he wouldn't stop. His fists just kept going. Again, and again. He refused to let up. "Pope that's enough!"

Rafe had become close to unrecognizable. Blood poured from every part of his face. It poured from his crooked nose and both lips swelled more with every hit he took. His eyes were red and bruised. His once light-colored shirt was stained with blood so dark it looked black. His neck and face were covered. And he laughed. 

"Pope, stop it!" even Nova was becoming frightened. 

She guessed this was finally him snapping. After taking care of all of them for so long, he was just tired. And this was his way of taking it out. 

JJ ran up behind him, taking his shoulders and attempting to pull him away, "Snap out of it dude," he yelled, practically on Pope's back at this point. "Dude stop! C'mon Pope, that's enough!"

They were all yelling at him. Pleading with him to step back. To stop. He was killing Rafe. Choking him, with a rubber belt found on the ground. Nova watched with horror-stricken eyes. Rafe had been killing her, only minutes ago, and still, she finds herself afraid of him dying. Because no matter how evil he seemed, Rafe was still her best friend's older brother that helped teach her how to drive. 

Kiara yelled at him, willing Pope to look at her, and no one knew how, or why, but Pope stopped, his head turning to Kiara. His chest heaving up and down. His eyes with instant regret. The belt fell to his feet and backed away from Rafe, stumbling. 

Rafe fell to the ground, gasping, just like Nova had. He curled up, blood pooling around him. 

Nova reached back, she found JJ's wrist. Somehow it brought her back. Brought her back from the building panic inside of her. They shared a knowing look.

"We have to get out of here."

"What do you mean he's gone? You were supposed to be watching him!"

Nova laughed. She couldn't believe it. Missing ─ John B. was missing. Gone, even after they said they were going to look out for him. Nolan and Sarah just let him go. To his house of all places. The house that had become the prime crime scene for cops to linger at. All of them, just waiting for John B. to slip up and show himself. 

"Look, he said he'd be here," Nolan shrugged. 

Oftentimes Nova was jealous of how carefree and nonchalant her older brother was. But now ─ now it just made her hate him. 

"He'll be here," jumping from the boat and onto the wooden dock, JJ moved to stand in front of Nova. Firmly he lay his hands on either of her shoulders, grounding her, keeping her placed. "John B's going to be fine."

The taste of iron had filled her mouth from biting the inside of her lip. Her once castaway gaze locked on JJ, and she nodded. She believed him. While looking into the blue, ocean-like eyes before her, she felt like it'd all be okay. 

And then they heard the sirens. 

Nolan sighed, moving to stand in front of Sarah, "Oh, fuck me!"

JJ looked around Nova. His eyes pooled with worry, but he tried not to show it, not with Nova standing there beside him. His hand had slid from her shoulders but fell only to take Nova's shaking hand into his, squeezing it to remind her that he was there with her. His palms were sweaty, and his knuckles were calloused, but it worked. 

Suddenly, Nova began to squint, "Is that..."

She dropped JJ's hand, letting it fall to his side. Quickly, he shook off the cold feeling it left him standing in. He watched, feeling guilty as Nova stepped for the police car that had stopped at the head of the dock. They both knew the person sitting behind the wheel. And he watched as Nova ran to him. 

His eyes never left her. No matter the questions or curious looks John B. got from the others he was only focused on one. And he lifted her into his arms, squeezing. 

"I'm sorry," his head buried into her neck. "I'm sorry that I left."

Pulling back, Nova shook her head, her hands cupped either side of his face, "You're here now."

And to her, that's all that mattered. 

Coming up behind them, JJ cleared his throat. He reached out his hand and handed the keys over to John B, "It wasn't easy, but I got The Phantom for you," he made himself smile. "And she runs like she was made yesterday."

"Do we need the boat? Does he have to run?" Pope, looked between Nolan and Nova, hoping for a better ending. 

"Pope, we're low on time," Kiara sighed. 

But still, they looked at the Scott siblings, eyes full of hope. But Nova didn't know. She'd been running with JJ all day. And Nolan had told her nothing. So, she too turned to him. They awaited an answer that deep down they all already knew. 

Nova wrung her hands, "What is it, Nolan?"

"I got ahold of dad, and I told him everything," said Nolan, wiping his sweaty palms on the black skinny jeans he wore. His voice, though calm, did not sound relieved. "He's trying to get here from France, but..."

Nolan stopped. He couldn't say it. He couldn't admit that he failed his baby sister. 

"There just isn't enough time," Nova knew. 

She let out a shaky breath. She didn't know why she was so upset. Nova knew that this plan had been a long shot. She knew the likelihood of it working. 

"There's something else," with her head ducked, Sarah stepped out from behind Nolan. 

Everyone watched. Sarah lifted her head. Eyes shining with unshed tears. She took in a deep breath, looking only at Nova. 

"My dad won't stop when you and John B. disappear," she told Nova. "There's still one more witness left to take care of...", Sarah was the only other person that knew the truth. "And I won't let him make me a pawn to use against you."

"What's your plan?" Kiara asked. 

Sarah shrugged, "To get the hell off this island, I guess," she looked at Nova. "I just can't go with you. It's too dangerous for us to go together."

It was smart. Going their separate ways. They'd always been joined by the hip. The first place Ward would think to find Sarah would be with Nova. And vice versa. 

Nova nodded, she understood why this had to be done, but she hated that she had to lose her best friend in the process, "Where will you go?"

"Anywhere," Sarah told her, trying to force an optimistic smile. "The world is my oyster."

Apparently, it was also safer if Nova did not know where Sarah escapes to. 

She looked at Nolan. She knew that he knew. He'd helped hatch the plan. Nolan knew that Sarah had to get off the island. She might not be in the danger that Nova or John B. was in, but she was still there, and Ward knew how much she cared about Nova. And he'd find a way to use that against her. 

Nova loved her brother for protecting Sarah.

"You have to go, Nova," sighed Nolan, speaking over the silence that had fallen over the dock. "The cops will be here soon."

It was scary, the idea of leaving. Of running away. She didn't know how to live without the guidance of her big brother or her father. Seeing the fear in her eyes, Nolan closed the gap between them and pulled her into a hug. 

"It won't be long," he promised in a whisper. "I'm going to bring you home. I promise."

Nova nodded, she believed him. 

"I know you will," she sighed into his chest. 

Nolan pulled back. His hands lay to rest on Nova's shoulders, and he smiled ─ he tried to smile. 

"You're going to be fine," he assured Nova.

And though she wasn't sure if she believed him, Nova nodded. Going in to give her brother one last squeeze before stepping away from him. 

Sarah wasted no time running into Nova. Now crying, both of them. Neither of them knew the next time they'd see each other, or even hear from the other. They'd never been apart for more than a month. And they'd never been without contact. 

One was the other part of each other. And now, they were each losing a limb. 

"I love you so fucking much," Sarah choked on her own sobs. 

Nova's hand rubbed the back of Sarah's head, "I love you more."

Pulling away, Sarah shook her head, "Not possible."

Nova disagreed. 

"This is for you," still with tear-stained cheeks, Sarah handed Nova a large duffel bag. "Just in case, you know?"

The bag was heavy. Filled to the brim with clothes, granola bars, cash, and her medication. 

"It's everything you're going to need," said Nolan, still in his spot behind Sarah. "Just don't forget to take your medicine. Two times a day, morning and night. And never on an empty stomach or you'll feel sick."

Nova smiled, "I won't forget."

Not being able to keep himself back, Nolan went to his sister for another hug. 

"Thank you for always looking out for me," Nova told her brother. 

Nolan didn't say anything. He couldn't. If he did there'd be an endless stream of tears. And like always he wanted to ─ he needed to be strong for Nova. Especially now. 

Nova said goodbye to the others too. Sharing an awkward hug with Kiara. Still, they didn't know exactly where they stood with each other. Pope reached for Nova first, surprising her. He made sure to wish her good sailing. And then he moved to see her off. 

JJ was last. Standing beside the boat. There was no hesitation as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into her. She felt him chuckle, his chest vibrating against her own, as he wrapped his own arms around her waist. 

"Stop panicking," he whispered, able to feel the beating of her heart on his chest, assuming it was because of the voyage she was about to take. "You're going to be fine."

"All thanks to you," she whispered. 

She wasn't going to say goodbye. She couldn't. Nova knew she'd see him again.

They held each other for another short moment before, together, they stepped away. He smiled, holding his hand out to her. Nova took it, without question, and let JJ help her step onto the boat. 

"Alright you two," JJ called up, once Nova was standing beside John B. "Get on out of here. We'll see ya soon enough."

And getting out of there was exactly what they did.

The sun quickly settled behind the line of the ocean. The once blue sky had become grey and cloudy. A fog settled dangerously low on the waters. The air was still humid, without a breeze. It'd become suffocating. The waters were quiet, and as still as the air. The only noise was the fuzz of the boat's radio, warning everyone of the incoming storm. As well as the ongoing manhunt for suspected murderer, John B. Routledge. 

"You don't like storms?"

It was more of an observation than a question. John B. noticed her body tense and jaw clench every time the word sounded over the static radio. Her eyes filled with fear when the winds began to pick up and a flash of lightning would light up the water they sat on. 

"Hate them, always have," Nova told him. 

This was the first thing they'd said to one another since leaving the dock. It was weird, having nothing to say. So, Nova kept talking. 

"My mom was the only person who ever made them tolerable," she admitted, telling John B, remembering the living room forts and late-night snacks. 

"You've never talked about your mom to me before," he said, which was kind of untrue, since she told him that she'd gone to college at Chapel Hill. 

But he'd never told Nova much about his dad either. Only showed her the church where'd they'd spend their time together. Their relationship was still new. Despite what they'd already been through and the way they felt for one another, things like that showed the immaturity in their relationship. 

"I don't talk about her as much as I should," said Nova, feeling guilty. 

She wanted to. Nova loved and admired her mom. She was the best person Nova knew. But she couldn't talk about her, not without remembering. Not without the horrific flashes playing through her memory again. Nova would still have nightmares about her body. 

John B. was careful, but he trudged further, "What was she like?"

Nova laughed, "Perfect," it was the only words she could think of when asked about her mom. "In every way. She was smart, kind, and talented ─ she was so talented. And she taught Nolan and me everything we know about music and performing."

Nova's face fell, but John B. didn't interrupt. 

"But I guess she wasn't perfect... not really. She struggled a lot," Nova took a deep, shaky breath. "I found her body," the memory of finding it was still so clear in her head. "Dad had been away on business and my grandparents had taken me and Nolan on a weekend trip. We wanted my mom to come, but she'd been so into writing a certain piano piece. I remember her working on it every day for so many hours. She wanted to stay home to finish."

John B. shook his head, "Nova you don't have to..."

But she wanted to, "She hung herself that same day, and three days later we ─ I found her. She was still hanging there."

"I'm so sorry," he didn't really know what else he could say. 

"My mom was bipolar and during an episode, she'd stopped taking her medication, and she became really depressed. I didn't even see it..." For a long time, Nova punished herself for noticing a change in her mom. If she would've noticed, maybe they could've helped her. "That's why Nolan's always on my case to remember my medication. It's because I have the same thing she did. And he's terrified of finding me the same way we did mom."

A silence fell over them. Nova feared that maybe she'd just scared John B. off. Maybe he was too afraid to be with someone like her now. But when she looked up at him, he didn't seem upset or afraid. He seemed content. Sitting here with her, he was content. 

"I'm glad you told me that," he said. 

She nodded, "Me too."

And it was true. After all that, it felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Like she was able to breathe a little bit better. 

"It doesn't scare you? Knowing I'm bipolar?" she asked him. 

"Does my ADD scare you?"

Nova scoffed, "No."

"Then no," he shook his head. 

The boat continued riding along the water at the edge of the bank. They weren't able to go yet. The sun hadn't completely gone down. To escape they needed darkness. They couldn't be seen sailing at the far ends of the sound waters. But it wasn't just the small amount of light left in the sky keeping them there. 

There was something else. Another reason that made John B. cut the engine beside an empty dock. Nova turned; her eyebrows furrowed. 

"What're you doing? Someone could see you," she said. 

"Nova, I can't let you do this," John B. sighed, running a hand through his long hair. "You can't leave with me."

"What're you talking about?"

"I'm not going to take you away from your family. They need you."

Nova shook her head, "No, John B. don't do this," she pleaded with him, helplessly. "I need you. I need to be here, with you."

This wasn't happening. She refused to accept it. Nova couldn't leave him, not after everything. Not after she had let herself love him. She wasn't going to lose him. Because what would she do without him now?

"John B, I need you," she repeated. 

"You have me," he told her, cupping her face in his hands. Without thinking she leaned into his touch. "You have all of me. Every part of me belongs to you," he wiped the tears that rolled down her face. "I am yours to keep, Nova Scott."

She shook her head, "I can't..." her voice broke. "I won't leave you."

John B. leaned in, pressing his lips to her forehead. 

"You deserve more than this," he told her, whispering. "You don't belong on the run. You are not that person. You're better than that. You're better than me..." he sucked in a deep breath, pushing back tears of his own. "And I refuse to bring you down any further than I already have."

"Stop acting like I didn't choose this."

"Now I'm choosing," John B. told her, his voice firm. "I'm choosing to give you something better."

Nova wanted to be angry. She wanted to scream and yell. She wanted to hate him. Because how dare he do this to her? How dare he make her love him. How dare he leave her. But she couldn't. Nova couldn't hate him. Because he was only loving her. John B. was ignoring his own heartbreak to let Nova go. Because like Nova wanted to hate him, he wanted to be selfish with her. He wanted that trip to Mexico with her. He wanted that time alone with her. 

But he wouldn't ─ John B. wouldn't take advantage of the love that they had for each other. 

Nova's head fell to his chest, she was giving in, "I love you," she choked. "I love you so much."

Cupping her face, John B. lifted her head, "I love you, Nova Scott."

He bent down, pressing his lips softly to hers. And Nova hated the feeling that followed. The feeling of goodbye. This was a goodbye kiss. Full of love and grief. This was their goodbye. 

And she knew now that John B. was right. He was right and she hated it. She didn't want to leave him. She couldn't bring herself to do so. Nova couldn't even let go of the hand John B. used to help her step off the boat and onto the sturdy dock beside them. 

"You have to come back," she cried. "Promise me..." she told him. "Promise me that you'll come back to me."

"Here..." John B. undid the old bandana around his wrist and, taking Nova's hand, he carefully tied it around hers. His fingers lingered on her skin, "This is my promise." He lifted her hand, softly kissing the top. "I'll be back to get this, but in the meantime, you can borrow it."

A sob escaped from Nova. And using the hand he wasn't holding; she covered her mouth. 

Nova loved him. She loved him so much.

All light had left the sky. Not even the moon and the stars could shin past the heavy clouds. The sky had been blanketed with darkness. The water reflected off the sky. Waves of black began to crash into the shore. The wind began to pick up, whistling. The thunder became louder, and the lightning got closer. 

The storm was here. 

She was walking in the dark. If it hadn't been for the flashing red and blue lights ahead, Nova would have been lost. But there she stood, before the tent set up by the police and now federal agents. She watched them from afar. Moving about, only stopping to talk in short whispers. Nova knew what they were doing. All of them were looking for John B, trying to trap him. 

She could see her friends. All but Sarah sitting beneath the tent cover. Metal folding chairs had been set out for them, and they sat in silence. Only sharing looks of concern every now and then. From there they could hear the storm. They listened to the whistling winds and crashing waves. All of them wondered how John B. and Nova were going to get past this. Well, not Nova. Not anymore. 

Nova didn't want to do it. She didn't want to walk inside. She wanted to turn back. She wanted to find her way back to John B. even if that meant swimming across the threatening waters. But she couldn't. No matter how much leaving him hurt. She had to keep going. 

"Nova?" her name had been barely a whisper. 

JJ was the first to see her. First, believed that he was imagining her, but she stayed, unmoving. He moved to stand up, to go to her, but a cop standing beside him shoved him roughly back into the seat, holding him down as he attempted to fight against the cop. 

Following JJ's gaze, Nova locked eyes with the Sheriff's deputy, Officer Shoupe. 

Nova stepped into the tent, the warm air relief to her cold, wet skin. She couldn't bring herself to say anything. 

"We've been looking for you for an awfully long time," Officer Shoupe commented. 

She shrugged, "Got a little busy."

He nodded, motioning her over to another empty chair. She listened, following him over. As she did, the cop noticed the discolored markings alone Nova. The bruises and cuts up and down her arm. The handprints on her bruising neck. He looked over at her worriedly. 

"Nova, who did all of this to you?" Officer Shoupe asked when she sat down. 

"Ward Cameron," she didn't even hesitate. "Oh, well, except for my neck," she added, leaning back to give him a better view of the bruising. "Now that was all Rafe."

Shoupe sighed, shaking his head, "Why is it that their names keep popping up around here?"

"Well, maybe you should start listening," Nova shrugged. 

She watched as Shoupe's expression fell, faltering. He considered her remark. But he made no move to say anything else to Nova. He pushed whatever suspicion he felt aside and turned away. He and the other cops in the tent walked back out into the storm. 

Nova sighed, leaning back in her chair. She hated this. She hated that she wasn't with him. 

"Nova!" Pope hissed her name quietly. "What are you doing here? Where's John B?"

She shrugged, "Long away from here I hope."

Officer Shoupe stopped at the edge of the tent. He turned around. Nova's gaze locked on him, and she smiled. And then he left. 

It was an entire base camp. Hundreds of people here were tasked to find John B. and bring him in. Everyone was out looking for him. Not just the island's police. But state police and agents. There was still a mob of angry citizens wanting him found too. Costal guards, professional divers, hell, even the FBI was all out there looking for him. And it scared Nova. Because what would happen if they found him?

"Nova you have to tell me what the fuck is going on," Nolan turned, finally speaking from the chair beside her. 

"John B. let me go," Nova used his very words. 

She shrugged. It was as simple as that. But Nova's face gave it away. She had not come of her own accord. This was John B's doing. He let her go. And all of her friends and her brother could see her heart breaking. 

Nova couldn't tell how much time had passed. But the outside was suddenly lit. And for a moment she thought morning had already come upon them. She furrowed her eyebrows, looking out of the tent. Yellow light illuminated the outside. 

She and the others shared a look. The lighthouse, Nova realized. They were using the spotlight to cast onto the waters since it was so dark. That's how they planned to find John B; they were going to light up the entire island. 

The rain came down harder now. The wind sends it to fly horizontally. Nova could hear it hitting the sides of the plastic tent covering them. She could hear officers cursing outside as they raced around the grounds, looking for shelter to shield them from the violent raindrops. 

The wind whistled by the tent. Threatening to send it over. It blasted through the tarp doors. It made her cold as the wind raced over her body, carrying small droplets of rain with it. The storm was at its peak. The lighting and thunder only got worse. They'd have to bring their coast guards back soon. They wouldn't survive in these waters. 

Nova knew that and she feared for John B. 

They were joined again by Officer Shoupe and a few other officers. They all wore, thick, heavy yellow raincoats. They resembled the ones Nova had stolen for herself and John B. when they snuck into the bottom of a shipping boat. 

Their faces were tired. Sullen and sunken when they turned to them. 

Pope stood so suddenly from his chair that he sent it falling to the ground behind him, the other copied, standing with him, "Did you find him?"

Pope was angry. Rightfully so. 

Officer Shoupe shook his head, "No..."

"So, he got away," Kiara breathed a breath of relief, taking Pope's hand into hers. 

A loud crack of thunder made Nova jerk backward. The weather was now imitating life. 

"We ─ we uh..." Officer Shoupe struggled to find words, but Nova knew the look he wore. This wasn't good news. "We lost him," he sighed, wearing a look of regret. "I'm so sorry."

Nova couldn't breathe. 

"You lost him?" Pope yelled, he moved to step toward Shoupe, but Kiara kept him held back to her. "What do you mean? Like, he's gone?" he wasn't going to stop asking. "What are you talking about?"

"The boy took an open boat into a tropical depression, Pope," Officer Shoupe told him. 

Nova grasped at her chest. She still couldn't breathe. But no one noticed. It seemed she was the only one who realized what was happening. 

"So he's dead?" Kiara asked, her face scrunching at just the thought. 

Shoupe sighed, "We don't know."

He's dead. We don't know. He's dead. We don't know.

The words screamed at Nova. She couldn't stop them. Her chest began to cave in. She'd open her mouth, but nothing would come out. Not a scream or even a breath of air. Finally, her legs buckled beneath her, and she fell into Nolan. 

"You drive them straight through the storm, man!" JJ's voice echoed through the tent. He'd become uncontrollable. He lunged for Officer Shoupe in his grief, pointing an accusatory finger at him. "Are you kidding me? Come here!"

"You drove him straight into the storm!" JJ's voice echoed through the tent, even crossing the grounds they were on. His anger was getting the best of him. He moved to lunge at Shoupe. But was blocked. 

It was chaos. JJ was restrained by two officers. Though he still cursed at Shoupe. Pope begged, pleaded, telling the others that John B. had been innocent and that they have to go out there and find him. Kiara collapsed, crying. And after making sure his sister could once again stand on her own, he moved to console Kiara, picking her up off the ground. 

But Nova was still. Like a statue, she stood unmoved. The earth no longer spun. There was nothing. No noise, no life... no point. It just stopped. All of it. Nova was the stillness in the chaos. 

And then the tears came. When the fits died down grief swallowed them. But not Nova. Still, her world was stuck. She couldn't move... she couldn't breathe. There was nothing she could do. 

And then something hard slammed against her. Bringing Nova back to life. Bringing her back to earth. She sucked in a sharp, jagged breath. One that she'd been holding for too long. Her chest filled with air. And then she noticed. It'd been a body that slammed into her. A pair of arms clung around her waist. Nova looked down; the messy blonde hair gave him away. As did the red hat that fell to the floor beside her feet. It was JJ who'd collapsed into her. 

JJ was sobbing into her shoulder. His body shook under her touch. He clung to her for dear life. He wouldn't move. 

And then Nova knew. And her heart became shattered glass. 

"But he promised."

Nova lost count of how many days it's been. It's likely that they're well into weeks now. She'd stopped counting. Not needing a reminder that he was still gone. It didn't matter how much time passed because Nova was stuck. She'd forgotten how to move on. How to live her life. She didn't want to be without him. She didn't want to move on. But the world was not as considerate to her. Earth continued to spin. Days continued to go by. And people moved on. Everything continued while Nova continued her time in a pit of despair. 

Every part of her missed him. Nova missed his voice, his smile, the freckles scattered across his nose. She could still feel the sense of calm that would wash over her when he'd touch her. She missed the way he'd hold her jaw when they'd kiss. Nova missed loving him.

Not that she stopped. She didn't think it was possible to not be in love with John B, but it was different now. Everything was different. 

Her dad eventually made it back home. Because of the storms his flights had been canceled and pushed back. But Lincoln Scott got home. Just in time for the news to hit. From that time on, he's been sitting in his office with groups of lawyers. There had to be a way to fix the mess Nova and her friends had become buried in. Lincoln wanted right the wrongs. Truthfully, Nova didn't see the use. Not if John B. was dead. 

Nolan was there for Nova. He grieved with her. A small glimmer of light he provided her. Nova was lost in a world without the boy she loved and her best friend. And for that, Nolan was feeling guilty. He'd been the one to tell Sarah to get off the island. And he was missing her too. But he wasn't going to bother Nova with his own aching heart, knowing that hers had just been shattered to pieces. 

Sarah was gone. That's all Nova could say. She'd just disappeared. There was no trace of her. Which had everyone on the island talking and theorizing. Ward Cameron was the loudest of them all. Insisting that his daughter had been taken hostage by John B. and died with him on the boat. But no one, not even Nova, knew where Sarah had run off to. 

Nova wondered if Sarah even knew that she was still on the island. 

She still spent time with the others. Pope and Kiara were doing about as well she was. They'd become closer with the passing days. Leaning on each other for support. Becoming distractions for the other. Especially Kiara who'd started to spend a lot of time at Nova's house, and with Nova throughout the day. 

There was one day, they were all sitting in Kiara's parents' restaurant after hours, Pope found himself wondering about John B's mother. The one that left him years ago. JJ dismissed the idea quickly, writing it off as absurd. As far as he knew John B. had no mother because she didn't even attempt to reach out to him when Big John went missing. 

They were the only family John B. had. 

But if not alone, most of Nova's time had become spent with JJ. 

At first, they wouldn't talk. He'd just be there as a company. They'd sit on the sandy beach below Nova's house and listen to the crashing waves. Both of them imagine John B's boat sailing to them. It never happened. But for a while, it's fun to pretend that it would. 

JJ never spoke about his hurt. Even when Nova would talk, he wouldn't. He'd just listen to her. But Nova could see it. She could see how the hurt of losing his best friend was weighing on him. He held a grudge against himself because he wasn't there to save him. John B. was JJ's only family ─ he was his brother. And with him gone, JJ was alone. 

That's why he'd go to her. JJ couldn't explain it, but she helped. Nova made him feel less alone. Less afraid. Even when sitting beside her the suffocating loneliness would let up. When he was looking at Nova the world didn't seem so bad. 

Eventually, they started talking. They'd go somewhere other than her backyard. Even if out for pizza. Sometimes Nova would coax JJ into going to the movies with her so that they could escape reality for a few hours together. 

Slowly, they began to rely on each other. Nova came to need the company of JJ. And JJ feared that if not around her he'd be engulfed by his sadness. 

She'd become his light. 

And he made Nova smile again. But not without the weight of guilt. She felt it eating away in the pit of her stomach. Every time she'd find herself missing JJ. Or when their touch would meet, and goosebumps would trail over Nova's skin. She hated it, and she was confused. But selfishly, Nova couldn't give him up. She'd found solace in JJ. 

"Do you think he's out there?" Nova asked JJ one day.

They were sitting on a boulder behind her house. Her wet hair stuck to her face. She and JJ had just gotten out of the water. And they retired to watching the sunset behind the waters. 

"I have to," JJ told her. "I have to believe he's out there because if I don't..."

Nova nodded. She knew what he meant. 

"Do you think he'll ever come home?" 

JJ sighed, turning to look at her, "He has to. You're here."

"I don't know if I'm enough," Nova shook her head. John B. was still not an innocent man on the island. "Not when he'd be risking so much by coming back."

Suddenly he took her hand, his fingers lacing through hers. Her heart raced and she looked over at him. 

"You're enough, Nova."

And in that moment. Through the guilt. They both knew.

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nova's outfit inspiration

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an://

So, we all know this is going to be carried into season 2!

Tell me, what did we think of the ending to part one? Any theories for part two?

edited: 1/19/22