Benny had locked herself in her room, staring outside the window, waiting to see that familiar squad car.

The debate of burying into her brother's bedroom and search through everything cling to the back of her mind. She knew it was wrong to do it, even worse that she actually cared about her brother getting better despite the things he had done... But he was still her brother.

And she still loves him.

She hated admitting it to herself. Loving a disaster like him. A walking disease full of manipulation and gaslighting. Acting like he was nice, then when they turned an eye, he was on the ground, over dosing on whatever drug he could get his hands on.

That's how she found out he did drugs. And there was a small part of her that wished her freshman self had left her brother there choking on his spit.

But she knew she'd have it if she had. Karma would have made a b-line right for Benny had she left Nathan to die. But maybe it was better for him to be dead than the family addict.

"Bennnyyyy." Benny's head snapped towards her door as she heard her brother in a sing-song voice. "Benny." He repeated, thumping against her door.

The hum of Oliver's squad car made Benny look back out the window, seeing her dad pull up and get out of the car. "Please find him like this." Benny prayed quietly, listening to Nathan knock on Benny's door.

"I know you're awake. Come on, hang out with your big brother... Please." He begged as Benny hugged her knees, hearing the front door open.

"Nathan! Benny!" Oliver's voice echoed from the vent on Benny's floor. Benny shot up from her window, nearly tumbling over a fallen pillow as frantic shuffling came from outside of her room.

Benny opened the door to find Nathan standing right in front of her, a smile on his face as Oliver walked up the stairs.

"Why is there broken glass in the kitchen?" Benny's eyes widened as she turned to Nathan, who slowly looked at their dad.

"Sorry. I dropped a glass. I was just about to ask Benny here where you guys moved the broom." He smiled softly as Benny flinched at the feeling of his arm wrapping around her shoulder. Oliver have Nathan an odd look, nodding slowly.

"It's uh.. in the closet right here. Be careful next time." Nathan nodded as he took the broom from his dad before walking downstairs, leaving the father and daughter alone.

"Everything okay?" Oliver asked, crossing his arms as Benny looked up at him, nodding slowly.

"Yup. Everything's... just fine." She lied, brushing past her dad and going downstairs. "I'm going to Gwen's!" She called out, slipping her shoes on and running out the door.

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"And you're not bleeding anywhere?" Gwen asked with a frown as she read an old script of hers. Benny was in the ground, clutching a giant penguin as she nodded.

"Nathan didn't even get scratched. And he was barefoot." She replied as Gwen hummed, nodding.

"Well, maybe you should spend the night. It is a Friday." Gwen tossed the script and looked down at Benny from the bed, her eyes being the only visible feature.

"I can't. Dad wants to have another family dinner." Benny complained, sitting up slowly. "He thinks it will fix whatever relationship my brother and I used to have."

"Wasn't he arrested and sent to rehab because he tried to kill your ex?" Gwen asked as Benny nodded. "How's he doing, by the way?"

"Nick? He blocked me after. Told me I had a family full of crazy and sooner or later, I'd end up in the looney bin, too." Benny set the penguin to the side as Gwen frowned.

"Well that's not... very nice." Benny slowly turned to Gwen, who shrugged. The two stood up, facing one another with expressionless faces.

"What are you thinking?" Gwen asked, eyes flickering between Benny's.

"I fake my death and move across the world." Gwen frowned, nodding with a shrug before shaking her head.

"Too much work. New plan."

"I kill my brother, fake my death, move across the world."

"Too risky. Your dad's a cop. New plan."

"I move across the world." Gwen snapped her fingers with a grin, still staring at Benny.

"It's perfect. I can help with the funds by selling my dresses. We can move together and get new names so our parents can't track us."

"I thought you loved your parents?" Benny frowned as Gwen shrugged again.

"If I get the chance to move across the world with my best friend, I'm making it a thrilling adventure." Gwen walked over to her closet. "After Jenna's party. I want to get shitfaced and put a pin on this plan."

"That pin is going to be yanked out when you can't walk straight." Benny grabbed a dress that had been tossed at her by Gwen, followed by more.

"Maybe. But we just turned 18. And we are going to our first real party. Not some hobo birthday bash that was set up by a couple of middle-aged christians." Gwen spun around and pressed a dress to her body, shimmying. "What about this?"

"Mmm... too flashy. Oh! Try this one." Benny dropped the dresses and took one off the rack, handing it to Gwen.

"I feel like it'll make my ass look like it was flicked off." Gwen pressed the dress to her back, a frown on her face, then hummed.

"It'll be fine. No one is going to be able to see your dress from the back because the gown will cover it, anyways." Benny picked up the other dresses as Gwen nodded, putting it on her bed.

"Alright. I think I should start heading home now. I'll see you tomorrow or at school." Gwen stopped Benny for a moment to grip her into a tight squeeze, the two standing like that for a moment before Benny started to leave.

As Benny started to make her way home, the slightly familiar blue Jeep started making its way towards her. Matthew and Harry paused their talking to look at Benny, who watched them as well, though her reasoning was so Matthew didn't hit her.

After the Jeep had passed, Benny continued on her walk down the street and to her house.

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Silence clung in the air of the Pickette home, except for the soft music coming from Nathan's bedroom. Oliver was away at work, and Benny was reading, once again, The Lion The Witch and The Wardrobe.

"Shit!"

Benny turned to her door quickly, slowly sitting up as she heard her brother curse. Setting the book down and creeping to her door as her brother continued swearing.

Benny opened her door the same time Nathan opened his, Benny's eyes quickly catching the large white dust cloud that covered Nathan's shirt. Benny's eyes widened.

"How the fuck did you afford an amount like that?" She asked, looking at Nathan as he scoffed, shaking his head.

"It's not what you think it is—"

"Then what is it? You baking a fucking cake in your room?" Benny crossed her arms as Nathan clicked his tongue, walking downstairs. "You know, I cannot fathom how people get addicted to that shit. I mean, it fucks up your brain so I'm just assuming you lost so many brain cells snorting that shit that—"

Benny's words were cut off by Nathan grabbing her by the throat, staring down at her viciously. "Stop. Talking." He seethed, watching the pained tears well up in her eyes. "I've had enough of you and I haven't even been here for a fucking week, Ben. I can do whatever the fuck I want, you understand me? You're still a kid. A lazy fucking kid that hangs out with one fucking friend and doesn't do anything else! You don't go to parties, you don't drink. Shit, you've probably never even had your first kiss! And here you are, telling me how I should and shouldn't live when you haven't even done that yet!"

Nathan shoved Benny away and she coughed, leaning against the wall as he walked to the laundry room. "Ass."

There was a small part of Nathan's rant that was right. She didn't go to parties, and she definitely didn't drink. But she wasn't lazy. Nathan has only been back for less than three days, and he hasn't seen his sister very much. Collectively, it was close to three hours.

Benny heard the rumbling of the washing machine start, Nathan walking out in just his pajama pants.

"At least out a damn shirt on, dude." Benny frowned as she walked to the living room, turning on the TV.

"I'll get around to it." Nathan grumbled as he grabbed cereal from the pantry, picking at it like they were Cheez-it's.

Benny shuffled closer to the side of the couch as Nathan sat down, slowly looking at her and gesturing to his neck. "Sorry. I didn't uh.. mrs to hurt you. You were just— getting in my nerves." Nathan laughed as Benny nodded slowly, her eyes flickering towards him before back at the TV.

There was a part of Benny wanted to just stay right where she was, to try and just talk to her brother like she used to.

The other part? Run away, and never look back.