"Hey, Nor!" Liana enthusiastically said. "I got us food too."

I smiled and put my stuff down in her hut. It looked the same as my hut, but just a bit smaller and made for one person instead of two. "Nice, Liana."

"Alright. Sit down!" Liana ordered. Her bed was smaller than my and Newt's, but big enough for two. "Now you better tell me everything that happened."

I laughed. "Okay. You need to tell me everything too."

Liana nodded in response. "Come on! Tell me stories from the Glade."

"Hmmm." I thought of the funny moments I had in the Glade. "One time the Box send me up some tampons and pads and Newt asked what it was for."
Liana let out a giggle.
"And he believed it was for nosebleeds, so he kept believing that for weeks." I chuckled. "Until he finally got explained what a period was."

"We never had that problem. Well, Aris was still there, but he was a bit shy." Liana shrugged. "Tell me the rest!"

"Now I think back about it, it's kind of funny, but Newt and Logan fought each other," I explained.

Liana laughed again. "Why?"

"Newt was jealous because Logan was 'flirting' with me, but that wasn't even true! Of course, he went to confront Logan, but Logan has some issues with anger, so he blurted out something stupid."

"Anger issues? Logan?" Liana repeated, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Yep," I replied, popping the p.

"What else happened? Did they make it up to each other?"

"Not really. They're nicer to each other, but Newt doesn't forgive him yet. He hates the way Logan treats me, but he does the exact same." I explained without even realizing what I was doing.

"How do they treat you? Cause don't worry, I'm ready to fight." Liana sternly replied, balling her fists in front of my face.

I laughed through my pain. "They made these stupid rules. I have to come to them when I feel like harming myself, which is alright, but the second thing is the worst. They check my wrist every day and I hate it."

Liana looked at me in disbelief. "I'm sorry to hear that." She pouted. "We could talk to them. Tell Newt that you feel like he treats you the same as Logan."

I shrugged but then nodded. "I'll think about it. How did you stop doing it, Liana?" I looked at the girl.

"Hold up." Liana got up and grabbed something out of her drawer. Pens. I frowned, why would she bring pens? "Alright. So this helped me a lot. Of course, it won't work for everyone, but we can try."

"Okay. Show me." I moved my scarred wrist in front of Liana's face.

"So what you do is whenever you feel like cutting, burning, whatever, you draw a butterfly." Liana started drawing on my arm. "You have to name each butterfly after a loved one, someone that wants you to get better."

I took a deep breath and tried to control my emotions. Clint and Jeff wanted me to get better.

"You must let the butterfly fade away naturally. So no scrubbing it off! If you harm before the butterfly is gone, you killed it. If you don't it will live."

It was a nice idea, but I wondered if it would work for me.

"If someone else draws the butterfly or butterflies on you, then those are extra special. Like this one." Liana motioned at a blue butterfly on my wrist.

I smiled through my tears. "Thank you, Liana." I paused. "Why did you do it? Why did you hurt yourself?"

"Thought I deserved it. I always talk, talk, and talk. Literally, I never shut up. None of the girls really wanted to be friends with me. They all thought I was a hyperactive freak. So I thought it was my fault, so I kind of punished myself with it." Liana explained.

"I feel sorry for you." I apologized. It really hurt me. No one deserved to hurt themselves like that only because they don't like their personality. And besides, Liana had a great personality. I loved how she always talked.

"What about you? What's the reason?" Liana carefully asked.

"Guilt. I always felt guilty about the smallest things. I did it even before the maze. When I was ten. I did it because I felt guilty for Newt. I remembered the stories he told me about his past, that he had a sister, but they took her away from him. I felt guilty because I did have family left. Chuck. I saw him every day.
Later I remembered all of that again, so it started over again. And every time something upsetting happened, I did it. Every time I made a mistake, or someone told me something sad about their past or themselves. And one day... it got out of hand." Tears fell on my cheeks. Quickly I wiped them away.

"It's alright." Liana slowly rubbed my back.

"So when it got out of hand, Newt saved me. He broke into my hut and got me into the med-hut. For days I was unconscious. When I woke up again, they wanted the rules." I carefully explained. "What happened in your maze?"

"Nothing special. We got picked up by a group of people. The Right Arm. I've been with them for months already. What about you?"

"We escaped from WICKED, and as I said, I was with Newt and Logan. The tension between them was still there and they fought about everything. And then one day I felt guilty for the boy we lost a few days earlier, so I cut again. Newt caught me and got angry. Started yelling and stuff."

"That's the worst." Liana sighed, knowing how I felt.

"Yeah, but he finally told me what it was like for him. He said he was getting sick of the fact he tried to help me but I didn't want help and never tried to stop. But we made it up a few days later." I quickly added. Then I hesitated. Was I going to tell her about my attempt? I decided that I wouldn't tell her yet. Maybe later.

"And then I got taken by WICKED again. With Minho. I was there for a few months, but then Newt saved me. Minho was still there. Eventually, we made a plan to break into the city, but I caught the Flare. Got stabbed in the chest, but again, Newt saved me." I smiled through my tears.

"Damn." Liana sighed. "That's a lot."

"Yeah," I mumbled, tears streaming down my face by now. I didn't get why I was so emotional, maybe just because I finally told someone about everything?

"It's alright." Liana pulled me into a hug. Slowly her shoulder turned wet from my tears and I felt mine getting wet too. Liana was also crying. Our sobs were the only thing I could hear.

"You guys okay over there?" A familiar voice asked.

"Why are you here, lizard?" I sniffed.

"I was just checking!" Newt defended from the outside of Liana's hut.

"We're fine, Newt. Leave! It's our sleepover." I replied, slightly annoyed.

"I can't sleep without you."

"Then go sleep next to Thomas, Slinthead." I joked with a laugh. Liana muted her laughs with her hand.

"Alright." Newt agreed. "Night, love, and... Liana."

I chuckled after Newt walked away.

"Well, at least he's protective." Liana smiled.

"That for sure."

~

I think the butterfly method is really good if you struggle with self harm. I hope y'all are alright. My messages are always open if you want to talk!

Credits to/thanks for the butterfly idea book_add1cted ❤️