Two days.

That's how long it had been since they ran out of food. Then again, minutes and hours and days all seemed to meld together down there. Without any signs as to what time of day it was, Rosie was sure John and her most likely were counting time wrong. Either way, it didn't really matter. All that mattered was they were hungry. And there was nothing they could do about it.

John had been surprisingly optimistic, which surprised Rosie. She was almost certain it was just an act to keep her spirits high. It was sweet, but underneath it, they both could feel the dread looming between them. It was impossible to just pretend everything was okay.

Some part of Rosie was thankful that she was already so weak from her weeks of fasting before. As much as she hated thinking about it, she was pretty sure John would last longer than her. Which meant she wouldn't, for even a second, have to live in a world where John Murphy was dead. Although she recognized that the thought was selfish and morbid, she couldn't help but feel a bit of relief from the thought, in a twisted way.

Although they never specifically spoke about it, Rosie could tell John knew it too. She could see it in the way he looked at her, the small grimace that he thought he could conceal. The way he seemed to tear up when he thought she was asleep at night. He could tell she was dying, slowly, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.

To take his mind off of it, he often found himself daydreaming about their future. Or rather, what it could have been. He'd spend his time thinking of all of the reasons they both should have said no to Jaha and stayed behind in Arkadia. Half of him would always chime in with the fact that Jaha and this trip were what brought them together, and he wouldn't really know her otherwise. The other half was sure they would have found their way to each other. No matter what.

"What do you think Bellamy will say about us?" Murphy questioned as they lay curled up in each other on the couch.

"What?" It always took Rosie off guard when Murphy spoke about the future with such certainty. She wondered how much longer he planned to keep up the act.

"Like, will he try to kick my ass?" Murphy suggested with a grimace.

"I don't know, probably," Rosie tried to think about it, but found her head hurt too much to really care. Her eyes lulled slowly, threatening to shut and result in her second nap of the day. "Why would you care what Bellamy thinks?"

"He's like the most important guy in your life, why wouldn't I care?" Murphy stared up at the ceiling, letting his imagination run wild.

"Not the most important," Rosie muttered against his chest softly, her eyes shutting for real this time.

Murphy let a small smile grace his face for a moment following her words, but the moment was fleeting. It was hard to constantly smile and feign optimism. Once her eyes were closed, the act was up and he immediately went back to worry mode. He had a lot to think about, and he found the only time his head was clear enough to was when she was sleeping.

His eyes remained planted on the ceiling as Rosie's breaths grew more shallow. He listened to her slowly drift into a deeper and deeper sleep, waiting to think about the looming question on his mind. It was foolish, waiting as if she'd ever been able to read his thoughts. He persisted through nonetheless.

Once he was sure she was in a deep enough sleep that would leave her out for some time, he granted himself the selfish moment he had been waiting for. He could finally, without interruption, consider his options down there. He had a lot to think about.

To anyone who knew John Murphy, when asked about him, they'd either describe him in one of two ways: an asshole, or a survivor. John liked to think of himself as the latter, for obvious reasons. But as the days melded into weeks trapped down there, Murphy's hunger for survival had begun to diminish.

He tore his eyes from their spot on the ceiling and let them trace over the small girl in his arms. Despite how peaceful she looked, he couldn't prevent the hurt in his heart when he took the image of her in. Her cheeks were sunken and dark circles loomed under her eyes. Not to mention how small her frame had become. It was no secret she wouldn't last long on no food.

But, how could John Murphy go on living down there with the corpse of the only person he'd loved in years? What was the point in surviving in a world without Rosie? He didn't want to be a survivor if that meant doing it without her.

As he thought through their bleak reality, his mind was pulled back in a direction it had gone to a lot lately. He often found himself thinking back on their first day down there, when they watched the video. Rosie had been too in shock to realize the gun was still down there, which meant he was the only one that knew about it.

His eyes lingered to the spot where it was hidden. Neither option was ideal, and ultimately both resulted in him dying. It was either end it swiftly, or watch the girl he loved slowly die. Which, honestly, would end up killing him.

He knew what he had to do. No matter how selfish or awful it was. He couldn't stand, for even a second, to live in a world without Rosie Goldsman.

❀

Rosie awoke slowly, her eyelids fluttering as she took in her surroundings. It was strange, she never seemed to get used to waking up somewhere that wasn't lockup. Even during her time in the delinquent camp, she found herself waking up with such confusion, unsure why she wasn't in a metal box.

As the realization of where she was slowly crept back in, a new sense of confusion replaced it. She sat up and glanced around, curious as to where her boyfriend had gone. It wasn't like they had a ton of space down there, and it wasn't like John to just get up and leave her alone while she was asleep.

She glanced back into the kitchen area, her eyebrows knit together in confusion when she didn't spot the boy there. There were only so many places he could be, and she didn't spot him in any of them. Worry began to take the form of a pit in her stomach as she sat up, looking around frantically. As she did so, she caught the faint sound of a voice- a whisper- coming from the stairwell towards the exit.

Rosie slowly rose to her feet and grabbed an empty bottle of wine from the kitchen, figuring it would have to be her weapon in the case of an emergency. She crept towards the stairs, slowly heading up them. The voice grew a bit louder with each step she took, and she recognized it as John's. But, she wondered, with no other voice, who was he talking to? Had he finally gone completely mad?

"... We ran out of food two days ago," He spoke slowly. Rosie took a few more steps, careful not to make a sound. "Really never thought I'd miss the ark, ever, but at least there we wouldn't have starved to death. Anyways, Jaha, if you're seeing this, that means you're still alive, so uh, screw you!"

His voice grew with the last two words, then he seemed to pause. Rosie paused on her step, hoping he hadn't heard her. When he began to speak again, she continued climbing the steps until she was at the top and could peer around to see him. She saw him on the floor with the camera they found the first day down there, speaking into it.

"Now, Jaha or anyone else who isn't Roseanne Goldsman, you can click off now. This parts just for her," The boy paused, as if allotting time to the imaginary viewers watching to leave. "Rosie, I'm sure it won't be long before you find this, but by then, I'll be long gone..."

His words made a lump form in Rosie's throat, but she waited to hear what else he would say.

"I wish... I wish I was stronger, for you. I wish I could push through this. But I can't. I can't do this any longer. I wish I could record for hours, so you'd have plenty to watch and hear. But, I'm sure you'll be up soon and..." He paused, drawing in a breath. "I want to be gone by then. So, I guess all I really need to say now, is I love you. In a way, I never thought I'd be capable. And we deserved a better shot."

Rosie's heart was pounding as he spoke. Her eyes stayed planted on him as he slowly closed the camera, not wanting to record the end for her to see. Her stomach did a flip as he pulled a gun out from his back pocket, one she didn't know he had. At this point, she couldn't hide any longer.

"Stop!" She yelled, flying from around the corner towards him.

John slowly lowered the gun from where it was pointed at his temple, a bewildered look on his face as the girl hurried to him. Then, the look of shock shifted to one of remorse. He was soon a puddle of tears. The gun fell from his grip and clattered on the floor.

Rosie rushed to him, kicking the gun away in the process. Her arms were immediately wrapped around him, pulling him into her chest. She felt such a spectrum of emotions that she didn't quite know how to convey, but the most important was concern, and fear. Fear of losing the one important thing she had left.

"I'm sorry," The boy sobbed against her. She raked her fingers through his dreaded locks, not saying a word. "I'm so, so sorry."

"Why?" Rosie mumbled numbly. The boy knew she wasn't questioning his apology, but rather his previous intentions.

"I'm weak," Murphy pulled back and answered. "I couldn't handle watching you die. I couldn't do it."

John was then in a panicky state, his breathing rapid. Some part of Rosie knew she couldn't be angry, seeing as she had on more than one occasion thought about how lucky she was that she would most likely die first. Despite feeling hurt, and scared, and sad, a nurturing side of her show through. Her number one priority at that moment was him. She let her hands untangle from his hair and rest on the sides of his face as she gazed into his eyes.

"John, you're the strongest person I know."

Just as the words left her mouth, the loud sound of the door clanging open rang out. In unison, John and Rosie's heads shot up to the door beside them, now slightly moved.

"Containment door released." A mechanic voice declared.

And just like that, they were free.

A/N: Rosie & John are both so emo this chapter but that's okay bc so am I.

Anyways! I want to apologize for the slow updates, this summer has been a busy one for me. I swear I'm trying my best and I haven't forgotten about you guys :')