A/N: I'm kind of bummed that we never got to see what a Stars Hollow Halloween, or Stars Holloween, looks like, so here we are.

The title is borrowed from Dark Divine's song Halloweentown, where the lyrics go: "Welcome to Halloweentown, the party lies six feet underground."

Of course Jack didn't leave it alone and told Alex to lay off. How did Dylan know? Well because when Dylan went over to Alex's house, Alex struck a 'therapist' pose and asked, "Are you feeling okay? Are your feelings getting hurt by cruel things being said?"

And Dylan managed to say, "You'll be feeling my fist in your stomach in about two seconds." He glared at Jack slightly because how dare he make him out to be some kind of wimp whose feelings get hurt easily.

Alex turned to look at the others, "See guys? He's fine."

Mai looked at Alex, "You're an ass."

"When have I ever pretended to be otherwise?" asked Alex.

He had a point there. He had always made it known that he was an asshole and never shown otherwise.

Maybe the only time he had ever shown any amount of vulnerability was over his on-and-off relationship with his ex-girlfriend, Noella. Noella would constantly dump him to go fuck another guy because it was better than cheating on him, which, yeah. From what little Alex talked about, he and Noella would get into arguments, because Noella had a temper. 

Alex and the others agreed that Dylan's temper was worse than Noella's.

Dylan would've taken offense to that, but he kind of figured that he had a bad temper. When it was late summer in August, when he had this weird fixation on cleaning the entire house. He had gotten irritated at his mother and sisters for not being enthusiastic over cleaning the house like he was. 

When Rory had dared to get a little too close to him while they were cleaning, he snapped at her for throwing him off track, ("Okay, geez, sorry," Rory had muttered), that was when Lorelai had snapped at him 'Your mood swings are worse than your sisters when they're on their periods.' Of course the guilt had fully sunk in because they were just trying to help him clean the house because he had weirdly fixated on cleaning it and he really shouldn't have yelled at his sister for something stupid like getting near him and then after the day was over, he slid into depression. The swing from energetically cleaning right into this funk still made no sense to him.

So, whatever happened between Alex and Noella, Alex never elaborated on. 

However, over the course of Alex and Noella's off-and-on relationship, Cecilia had been jealous over the relationship. Sure, she and the others would tell Alex to dump Noella, because she was bad for him, but Cecilia would rant about her hatred towards the other girl. Once, she ranted to Dylan for ten minutes about Noella, and Dylan, whilst in his weird cross stitch hobby fixation, had snapped at them, 'Why do you care so much about them?' and Cecilia admitted, 'Because I would treat him better.'

Ricky asked Dylan, "What's the weirdest thing you have ever done?"

"Spent a week learning how to throw a tea party, learning all about British tea, and then threw an Alice in Wonderland themed tea party," Dylan replied. "Made so many tiny sandwiches to go with it and I'm obviously a guy." And I have no friends, so I didn't invite anyone. "And when my mom got mad at four hundred bucks being wasted on British tea and stuff to make sandwiches, Rory took the fall for me. Pretty sure that my mom knew it was me."

"That sounded like fun," Mai said. "How come we weren't invited?"

Dylan shrugged, "I don't know. I guess it didn't cross my mind to invite you guys?"

Jack gave Alex a glare for that, even though Alex had nothing to do with that.

Later that evening, Lorelai stopped by Dylan's room, who was doing homework.

"Hey, Dill," Lorelai started.

Dylan felt his eye twitch at the nickname. He hated that nickname and he looked at his mother, "Yeah?"

Lorelai said, "Okay, I just want to start by saying, if anything bothers you, you can tell me or your sisters, you know that right?"

Yeah, Dylan knew that, but when he talked about the movie thing, his mother slammed him because they had a 'voting system' and it wasn't their fault he got 'voted off the island'. So he forced a smile, "I know."

Lorelai came into the bedroom and sat on the bed, "Okay, so why didn't you tell me that you didn't like your birthday present?"

Dylan noticed that she was holding a plastic bag, "I never said I didn't like it." He was currently wearing the vest, mostly to make Lorelai smile.

"Okay, then what was with the glumness then?" asked Lorelai.

"Like you keep saying, I'm always doom and gloom," Dylan pointed out.

"You know we're just teasing you," Lorelai countered.

"I know," Dylan replied darkly.

"Okay, so to make up for the whole birthday present fiasco yesterday, I got you this," Lorelai said, handing over the bag to Dylan. 

Dylan took the bag and took out a box that contained a Nokia 8210 phone. It was red. It was on. "It's been used."

"I put my phone number in there along with Sookie's and the number to the diner so you can call Luke if you and your friends ever get started somewhere," Lorelai explained. "And that snake game really sucked me in. I was thinking of buying another one so I can play that snake game some more."

"Thanks," Dylan said. He awkwardly hugged his mother, and she did hug him back.

"I'm sorry for not considering how you would've felt when your sisters got something more expensive," Lorelai told him.

Dylan released Lorelai before it got too weird, "It's fine."

"You know, you can always tell me if something bothers you," Lorelai told him. "Like what happened yesterday."

"It's okay," Dylan replied.

Lorelai asked, "Anything else you want to talk about?" She gave him a look.

Dylan tried to figure out if he had done some weird shit – like dive into the lake or something; but half the time he barely leaves his 'cave'. "Rory didn't spend all that money on British tea. That was me."

"Oh, I know," Lorelai replied. "She's not that great of a liar."

Dylan had to agree with that.

He did later learn that his mother was right because Snake also sucked him in.

At school, Caroline had come up to Dylan and hugged him as a greeting. Rory and Christy just nodded their greetings to Caroline, before going into the school.

If he and Caroline were supposed to be dating, they were doing a shitty job of it with the lack of PDA. Dylan glanced over seeing Dugray making out with some girl, before looking at Caroline.

Caroline released Dylan, "Okay, so I'm throwing a Halloween party on the 28th. My parents are going to be out of town so I get the whole place to myself. And you're obviously invited." She paused, "And your sisters too, if they want."

Dylan nodded, "Do we have to dress up?"

"Only if you want to," Caroline replied. "You can invite your other friends too."

"They're probably coming," Dylan said. He knew his band-mates. They'll probably want to go to this Halloween party.

Caroline smiled, "The more the merrier."

One particular bad day, where it seemed like all the teachers were out to get him, Dylan knew it was because he wanted to stay up playing Snake, so after school, Dylan went to Emily and Richard's with a stack of movies to watch.

Emily, excitedly, let him in, "I'll make us some popcorn."

Dylan nodded and went to the media room to set up the first movie, The Nightmare Before Christmas. For some reason, the movie always cheered him up. The second movie that also cheered him was The Halloween Tree, the third was Hocus Pocus, the fourth was Beetlejuice, and the last two to round it off were the Addams Family and Addams Family Values.

Sure, he could understand why his mother and sisters didn't want to watch Halloween movies when it wasn't even October or Halloween, but Halloween was his favorite holiday ever since he was a young boy. It was like, 'Screw Christmas, I want Halloween.'

But now, he couldn't even feel excited for his favorite holiday.

Even now, sitting on the couch, waiting for Emily to show up, he could feel himself growing tired.

Was this growing up? Being exhausted all the damn time?

When Emily and Richard came in to join him, Dylan watched his grandparents. They seemed energetic – for their ages. He could always ask them if they ever grow tired by say, mid-afternoon. But he chose not to.

Emily asked, "What movie are we watching first?"

"The Nightmare Before Christmas," Dylan said.

Honestly, watching the movie was nice, especially since Emily and Richard didn't talk through it and didn't seem like they understood the movie, although Richard ended up asking, "What do you think St. Patrick's Day Town looks like?"

"Probably a bunch of stereotypical drunk Irish leprechauns," Dylan replied.

Spending the evening with his grandparents wasn't as awful as Lorelai seemed to make it out to be. He actually enjoyed their company. He should do this again.

Taylor had called for a town meeting.

While they sat in Miss Patty's Dance Studio, Dylan could feel himself falling asleep, from the warmth of the dance studio and also because Taylor was just boring in general. Taylor already got after him for playing Snake, which Lorelai was happy over, because it took the heat off of her bringing food in to eat with Christy and Rory.

"Moving on," Taylor started. "Last year, we had gotten complaints over the scariness of the previous year's haunted house."

Lorelai looked offended, because she had been the host of the previous year's haunted house, which had been at Twickham House.

"Who complained?" asked Kirk.

"Does it matter?" asked Taylor. "Kids had found it too scary."

"And by kids, do you mean you?" asked Luke.

"No," Taylor defended himself. "I'm just saying that some parents had complained that their kids had nightmares over the haunted house."

"I think he's talking about himself, Luke," Miss Patty agreed.

"I am not," Taylor said. "While we're on the subject of the haunted house, we need a new host, but I have compiled a list on what we can and cannot do in the haunted house."

"And by 'we', you mean you?" asked Dylan.

"And there will be no haunted babies," Taylor added.

"Hey, the sacrificial baby was a huge hit," Dylan told him, offended.

While stuck at home, Rory and Christy were a part of the haunted house (Dylan didn't want to be a part of it) he found one of Christy's old baby dolls, and covered it with ketchup as fake blood, found a plastic cradle and covered the cradle with a doll blanket, and set it on a table outside by the driveway. He put a walkie-talkie under the blanket, leaving the doll uncovered, hiding the walkie-talkie. Then he had Jack (who showed up to hang out because everyone else was busy) had out candy while Dylan watched the trick 'r treaters through the window and talked to them through the walkie-talkie.

Jack had the idea of surrounding the doll with candy so Dylan could see which kid was brave enough ("Come on, take the candy, unless you're a bigger baby than I am.") to take the candy.

Dylan and Jack had seen the same trick 'r treater three times.

Dylan was sure that house was extremely popular because of the doll since that was the first time in five years that there had been that many trick 'r treaters at the house. He and Jack had run out of candy because of it.

And now Taylor wanted to take that away from him?

"I'm just saying, there have been complaints," Taylor started.

Dylan tuned him out.

In the end, Taylor ended up agreeing to be the host of the haunted house. 

Dylan ended up telling his friends about Caroline's Halloween party. They, of course, jumped all over that.

Coustume-wise, Dylan chose to go as a clown, because he knew that he was a joke, and thought that he might as well look like a clown. He only put on the face-paint and thought 'screw it' and chose to wear regular clothes instead of going all out.

Christy was going as Little Red Riding Hood. Rory had declined on going, so she was staying home, but she did tell them to have fun. 

Cecilia was dressed as a female version of Chucky, complete with red wig. Mai was going as a female Freddy Kruegar. Jack didn't bother dressing up because he was 'scary as it is.' Ricky was going as a jester and Alex chose to go as a serial killer, which meant he was just being himself. Dylan thought that Alex stole that from the Addams Family.

"I thought you were going as a vampire," Dylan told Alex.

"Why?" asked Alex.

"Because you enjoy sucking the life out of people," Dylan replied.

Alex clearly took offense to that, "I'm not my parents."

"Well, to be honest, your mom is hot," Dylan stated, for reasons not even he knew.

Alex looked extremely pissed off at that, so Dylan and Christy decided to go. Jack, Ricky, and Mai decided to tag along because in Ricky's words, "I'd rather not hear Alex bitch about that for an hour."

Dylan agreed because he knew how much Alex hates losing, especially when it came to Dylan getting one over him.

When Dylan showed up, he was surprised by how big the mansion was compared to his grandparents' house.

Caroline, wearing a ghost costume, was showing a few guests inside before she came rushing over to hug Dylan. "I'm glad you came."

Dylan found it weird how a person can be so happy to see him. "Thanks?" He found it weird how a person can be so happy to see him. "Thanks?" He looked at his friends who were still standing there. He motioned to them, "You remember my friends, right?"

"Yeah," Caroline said. She kept one arm around Dylan's shoulders. She pointed at each one, "Jack, Mai, Ricky, Cecilia, and...Alex?"

"Yeah," Mai said, looking impressed at the fact that Caroline remembered them.

Cecilia and Alex however were giving Caroline strange looks.

Cecilia eyed Dylan's arm that was around Caroline's waist. In an oddly cold tone, she asked "You're Virginia, Dylan's friend, right?"

Dylan was confused at the tone Cecilia used. She was normally friendly to girls.

Caroline seemed to take it in stride, "It's Caroline and I've been upgraded to girlfriend." She kissed Dylan on the cheek.

Dylan felt embarrassed at that, because he didn't do well with PDA. "Don't say 'upgraded'. It makes it sound like you're a computer."

After a few minutes of being inside the mansion, Dylan found himself bored. He counted how many couples were making out – three, who was vomiting in a plant – one, and how many people looked to be wasted – he lost count.

His friends and Christy had swarmed inside the mansion, leaving Dylan to stand around, looking extremely out of place. It felt like others were judging him, which was ridiculous because not everyone was out to get him.

He went over to a table and was going to get some pretzels, but Caroline was at his side, holding out an unopened bag of pretzels.

Dylan took the unopened bag of pretzels.

Caroline asked him, "What are you supposed to be?"

"A clown, because I'm a joke already," Dylan replied. "What are you supposed to be?"

"A ghost, because it's as close as I'll get to being dead," Caroline replied.

Dylan was going to say 'what' but he knew what he heard. "Oh."

"Yeah, oh," replied Caroline. "I'll be back." She took off.

"I don't like her."

That was Cecilia.

Dylan looked at Cecilia, "You don't even know her."

"I know, something about that spooky bitch just rubs me the wrong way," Cecilia defended herself.

It was Noella all over again, but that was impossible, because Cecilia was with Alex, and who the hell would ever have a crush on him unless there was something wrong with them?

"You only spoke to her once and you called her Virginia," Dylan pointed out. He gave Cecilia a strange look, before walking away.

He sat on the stairs before Caroline came over and joined him.

"Not a party person?" asked Caroline.

"Not really," Dylan said.

"Me neither," Caroline said. "I only threw this party because I didn't want to be home alone."

"Thoughts getting too loud?" asked Dylan.

"Yeah," Caroline agreed.

Dylan looked at Caroline, "You want to come over to Stars Hollow on Halloween? There's going to be this festival thing going on."

"Sure," Caroline replied.

Fran had agreed to make food for the Stars 'Holloween' festival. They had made a bunch of Halloween themed food.

Dylan sat at the table, his chin resting on the table.

Fran looked at him, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Dylan lied. He wondered why everyone kept asking him that.

Fran put her hand on Dylan's shoulder, "Contrary to what you believe, whatever you're feeling will come to end."

Dylan nodded, "Thanks."

"Believe me or not, but remember that you will get through it," Fran told Dylan. 

"I'll try to remember it," Dylan told her.

Caroline did show up, although Cecilia and Alex didn't look happy at the sight of her. Mai had been excited to see her.

The highlight was seeing a 'reenactment of Sleepy Hollow' where someone dressed like Ichabod Crane on top of a horse running by. Kirk ended up getting clobbered by the horse.

And it turned out that some kids had egged Doose's house because his haunted house wasn't scary enough.