Wednesday – Morning, photography class

You swore the hallway lights buzzed louder today.

Voices. Stares. Whispers that died out the moment you turned your head. It wasn't hard to piece it together, especially when some were so bold they didn't even lower their volume.

"Did you see her and Scaramouche walking together yesterday?"

"They were alone, right? After class?"

"She probably made him ditch, she seems like the type."

"Someone said they went home together."

"Seriously? Why him of all people?"

"Yeah I mean wasn't Heizou pinning for her?"

"Ohh I heard he was flat out rejected"

"Oh my..."

Your throat tightened.

Fischl had been out sick again, Childe was late, and Heizou was nowhere in sight. Which left you completely alone. Like bait on a hook.

The weight of your tote bag shifted across your shoulder as you made your way into photography, the one place that had started feeling safe, until now.

The classroom fell quiet for just a second when you entered. Just one. Enough.

You chose a seat at the back. Kept your head low. Pretended you didn't see Scaramouche glance your way. Pretended his slight frown didn't sting a little. He didn't come sit next to you.

The rumors weren't just about you anymore.

They'd started pulling him in too.

"Didn't think he'd go for someone like that..."

"Maybe she's just clinging to whoever tolerates her."

You bit your inner cheek hard. The taste of metal followed.

𝘍𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘩 𝘗𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘥 – 12:15 PM

You couldn't eat. You couldn't sit still. So you skipped lunch. Sat under the stairwell behind the gym, where no one usually goes.

Pulled your knees to your chest. Opened your phone.

Ei
[1 New Message]

You open the message

Ei: Yoimiya. I have something you might want to see. She's closer than you think.

Your heart stopped.

Thumb hovering over the call button. You then paused and locked the screen.

You couldn't. Not now. Not when your chest already felt like a rubber band being pulled tighter and tighter and tighter

You were thrown back.

—————
The same hallway. Different rumors.

"I heard she had to go to therapy. Got caught crying in the girls' bathroom."

"She fakes it for attention."

"Pathetic."

Back then you stopped eating too.
Back then you shut off.
Back then, you broke.

Now it was happening all over again.
—————
The panic crawled up your spine. Cold sweat. Light-headed.

You stood. Walked. No.

ran.

To the front office, Signed yourself out. You didn't even text Xiao. You just needed to leave.

1:26 PM

Ei's place was quiet. Too quiet.

"Y/N?"

Her voice came from the kitchen. Calm, warm, unknowingly terrifying.

You didn't respond. Just walked past. Bag still slung over your shoulder. Eyes forward. You shut the guest room door behind you.

Locked it.

You slid to the floor. Back pressed against the wood. You tried taking a deep breath, nothing came in. You tried again and again but your lungs weren't listening.

Knock knock

"Y/N? Is everything alright?"

She sounded concerned. She sounded genuinely worried. That only made it worse.

"I..."

Nothing came out.

You slapped your hand over your mouth. Curled into yourself.

"Sweetheart.. you're safe here."

No you're not. Not from your own thoughts. Not from your memory. Not from your past. You wanted to scream.   

3:17 PM

Click

You heard the front door open.

"Ei?"

It wasn't Ei's voice. It was his. You froze.

"Where's Y/N?" Scaramouche asked, voice flat.

"She left school early. I assumed you knew?"

"I didn't." Silence. "Where is she now?"

"In her room. She locked the door."

You pressed your forehead to your knees, not moving. Not breathing.

Knock knock knock

"Y/N. Open the door."

You couldn't, Not yet. He'd see you like this. There'd be nothing more embarrassing than showing him weakness like this.

"Open the door," he said again, softer this time.

"I don't want you to see me like this," you croaked, voice raw and small.

"I already have."

You didn't respond, hoping he'd go away.

"Open the door, or I'm breaking it down."

You hesitated at first but then, trembling, you stood and unlatched the lock.

The door creaked open, and there he stood arms crossed, shadows under his eyes, his jaw set like he was mad at the world.

Until he saw your face. Your eyes were puffy and red. Hands still shaking. You couldn't meet his gaze.

"...Oh."

He stepped inside, slowly. Showered with worry and regret, he was careful not to show it though. Attempting to keep up his tough guy persona.

"I'm sorry," you whispered, voice cracking. "I shouldn't have left. I....just....couldn't breathe, and people were saying things and I didn't want to burden you with—"

His hand cupped your cheek.

"You're not a burden."

Your knees gave out and he caught you, arms wrapping around you like a net as you fell into him.

You buried your face in his chest.

"I didn't know where else to go," you sobbed.

"Then always come here."

His fingers threaded through your hair, and you clung tighter.

That difficultly you had breathing before was gone now. You spent a while just crying as he held you.

————-
After what felt like forever, the two of you ended up on the bed. You in his hoodie now, curled up under a blanket, him sitting beside you.

He'd barely said a word since, but his presence alone was anchoring.

"Are you still scared?" he asked.

You blinked.

"Yes," you admitted.

He took a deep breath and sighed, his voice barely audible when he spoke.

"You don't have to be..."

He paused.

"You make me feel things I didn't think I could feel again. And I don't know what the hell to do with that, Y/N."

You opened your mouth to respond, but you didn't know what to say.

"I don't care that you don't remember much of me, what matters is right now. You're a strong girl... and I'm sorry it's taken me so long to say this"

You turned to look at him only to see his face flushed and eyes darting around the room, looking everywhere but you.

He was trying to hold it together. You could see it with the way his fingers trembled in his lap, how his jaw tensed every-time your eyes met.

He had spoke so softly, you smiled.

"Scara you're kind of a dick... you know that ?"

He looked startled for a second, and you couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of you. Then gently, you reached forward and cupped his face, your hands cool against his warm skin. Tilting his head until he had no choice but to look you in the eye.

"You always look away when it matters," you whispered, your thumb brushing lightly along the edge of his cheekbone. "Don't do that right now..."

You brought your face closer to his, slowly, giving him a chance to pull back, to say something, anything. But he didn't. He just stared.

Then you kissed him, and everything stilled.

His hands instinctively found your waist, pulling you just slightly closer, careful, almost hesitant. The kiss wasn't rushed. It wasn't desperate. It was... grounding. Like he'd been waiting for this moment for longer than he even realized.

You tilted your head, deepening it just slightly, and he responded with the softest exhale, like the tension he carried in his shoulders was finally, finally letting go.

When you pulled away, the silence between you was soft. Intimate.

His hand rested gently behind your neck, fingers spread like he was scared you'd disappear.

He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. "You and your stupid cat names and messy lipstick and chaotic texting and...everything. I want it."

You laughed, really laughed, and kissed him again.

That one was shorter. Sweeter. But it still made your heart stutter.

"Oh yeah? Well I want you"

Scaramouche blushed slightly at your bold words, rolling his eyes.

"I.. have homework to do so..." he cleared his throat "call me if you need anything.."

You hummed in response as he got up to leave, you felt much better.

"Hey y/n?"

You turned to meet his eyes.

"Just so we're clear, you're mine?"

You smiled at his words, "yes, I am yours as you are mine"