[author's note: k, pls don't hate me. filler chapters coming up. I had this saved in the draft, from when I took down my one-shot/short story book, and I'm posting it now while I have to re-read the entire story myself, before continuing working on the actual story line (since I've forgotten what happened). eeh, I still hope you'll enjoy. oops.]

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the backstory of

seonghwa & hyunjin

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"Anything interesting in the mail today?"

Reading through the news paper, Seonghwa didn't even glance towards his husband entering the living room, as he asked the question. He did, however, catch onto the sound of the sound of paper in the brunette's hand, revealing that Yeosang was looking through today's mail.

"No." The answer was short, and showed the mutual disliking of longer conversations between the two of them.

The six year mark of their marriage was getting closer, but it had already felt like a lifetime since they said their vows made of lies. Seonghwa only had himself to blame for the outright horrible situation, and he wasn't entitled to complain, how being married to the popular socialite, Kang Yeosang, felt like a prison sentence.

Some days were better than others though, nowhere near good, but at least slightly less horrible. Other days were... Difficult.

Park Seonghwa was a man built from pride, and he had always been proud of himself and the things he had accomplished. That being, with the exception of everything involving Yeosang. To say he felt regret, would be an understatement, but underneath the stone-cold appearance, Seonghwa still just a human-being, and there were forces in the world way stronger than him.

The prenup had been signed, rings on their fingers, and everyone else but the two of them had gotten what only seemed right. Seonghwa and Yeosang had known each other since high-school. The perfect match, in the eyes of the world outside.

A heavy sigh fell from Yeosang's lips, and just when Seonghwa expected his two years younger spouse, to throw the mail on the table and leave as he usually did - something made him stop.

"Oh, wait..." Yeosang said, and his voice lightened up, but only a bit, as he held up an ivory envelope, looking at it with suspicious eyes.

Peeking over the edge of the news paper, Seonghwa could feel his heart set up the pace, as he anxiously waited for Yeosang to speak up. It could only be one thing, the one thing Seonghwa had feared for months by then.

"They did it," Yeosang mumbled, when the envelope dropped to the table, and he held a dainty piece of paper with a golden border in his hand. "Hongjoong and Hyunjin really got engaged. Invitation for their engagement party."

But while such an invitation normally would spark some kind of excitement, the brunette simply slid the paper across the dining table, with a cold look on his face, and left the room. Yeosang knew what it meant, they both did. How he would have to force himself to smile, and act nicely next to Seonghwa. Pretend that they were so in love and happy together. But Yeosang wasn't the only one hating taking part in that.

Seonghwa waited until he heard the water turning on in the bathroom, before he neatly folded the news paper, and placed it down in front of him. Every little move was slow, as he tried to buy himself some time. But he already knew, that no amount of time would ever prepare him for what was waiting ahead.

Hesitantly, he got up and made his way around the table. His fingers stroked over the invitation in front of him, but every word, every little letter was blurred by tears.

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KQ Private School, 8 years prior

With eyes closed, Seonghwa let out a heavy sigh. One that could be felt through his entire body - while trembling hands held onto the windowsill in front of him. The sun shone brightly outside, throwing shades of orange and yellow through the dusty windows, and his closed eyelids.

Only a few weeks into his senior year, at the prestigious high-school, and the pressure had never felt any worse. The expectations had been set high from the day he was born, to do great things, in school and for the rest of his life - but now Seonghwa felt like he was reaching his breaking point.

He turned eighteen just one month ago, and with that he was gifted with the pressure of a new expectation. His parents had handed it to him, over breakfast that day, underneath chandeliers and to the tunes of Antonio Vivaldi, "Son, why are you still single? Isn't it time for you to find a suitable partner?"

And it wasn't a question, although it had been put out as one. It definitely wasn't. It never was.

Now, the problem wasn't that Seonghwa would have any problems, finding someone to date. Everyone both in and outside of school knew him. He was admired and adored, and the majority of his fellow students would do practically anything to get just one single date with him.

No, the problem was something completely different, something Seonghwa had never even dared to speak out about, act upon, and if he could he would much prefer to never think about it either.

But it was there, growing stronger as he grew older. The expectations of him being the leader, the dominant one in the front of everything in his life, even a future relationship - it all clashed with what his mind and body wanted.

As he stood there, alone in the old toolshed behind the school's track and field, he felt the tears coming. Seonghwa didn't like to cry, he had been taught from an early age it was a sign of nothing but weakness, but when he was alone he let the secret tears fall from his eyes.

The sudden sound of the wooden door opening behind him made him flinch, and he quickly dried away the tears and straightened his posture. He had used the shed as a get-away for the past two years, knowing whenever the janitor would use it, and when there was free access to some much needed alone time.

It wasn't the old janitor who looked at him with surprised eyes, when the door opened. A pair of brown eyes stared at him, while plump lips were being snapped shut at the sight of him. Long blonde hair, almost reaching the shoulders, twirling gently in front of the boy's face. One hand was hidden behind his back, and Seonghwa could only assume that this boy was up to no good.

Seonghwa knew who he was, one of those new freshmen who had already caused trouble at school, even after only a couple of weeks. Hwang Hyunjin, who usually would stick like glue to his two best friends Choi San and Han Jisung.

"Do you need anything?" Seonghwa asked coldly, hoping that his status and reputation, would help him out - as he had no real excuse to why he was in the shed himself.

But Hyunjin didn't react as Seonghwa had expected. While everyone else would bow politely, excuse themselves and run away, Hyunjin did none of those things. Instead, he slowly raised a brow, and the lack of reaction was not only shocking, but outright disrespectful.

"What are you doing here?" Hyunjin then asked, calmly.

"I could ask you the same," Seonghwa promptly responded, and given the freshman's already tainted reputation, he stood by his first assumption. "You know this school has a no-smoking policy, so if you are planning on doing something like that, I'd advice you not to."

Seonghwa made a nod towards Hyunjin's left hand, still hidden behind his back, but the item that the younger was holding was nothing near what Seonghwa had expected it to be.

"I'm not," Hyunjin said with a small roll of his eyes, as he pulled his left hand forward.

In his hand was a notebook and a pencil, and his face scrunched up in a strange grimace, possibly to make distraction from the way his cheeks were slightly blushing.

"I came here to finish a paper that is due today," he admitted, and his eyes fell to stare at the floor instead. "Thought this place was empty, so..."

"If it's due today, how come you haven't finished it sooner?" as Seonghwa let out the question, Hyunjin sent him a quick glare before he returned to stare at his own feet.

"None of your business," the blonde boy said, but his narrow cat-like eyes suddenly changed, and with a smirk he added, "I'll just go somewhere else, sorry for interrupting your private time."

Hyunjin turned around, about to leave the small shed, when Seonghwa took one step forward. The younger student had such a strange tone in his voice with his last sentence, and Seonghwa didn't like the sound of it.

"What do you mean?"

"What do you mean?" Hyunjin retorted, looking over his shoulder and blowing a lock of his blonde hair away.

"Sorry for interrupting your pri-? I wasn't doing anything like that."

"Then why are you here?"

The blonde surely lived up to his reputation, a good for nothing trouble kid, with a bad attitude. But at the end of the day, he was also still a Hwang, and even as a freshman, Hyunjin gave off such a dominant vibe, it even had Park Seonghwa feeling shivers down his spine.

"None of your business."

Hyunjin chuckled at the repetition of his own response from earlier, and instead of opening the door, he now leaned against it. He looked at Seonghwa with his brows slowly moving downwards, and so did his eyes. He stared at Seonghwa, studied him, curious eyes - but in a way Seonghwa had never experienced before.

In the small toolshed, Seonghwa felt smaller than he ever had, in fact, he had never felt that exact feeling before. It was new, and it was exciting. He had no power between the two of them, it was crystal clear.

And he kind of liked it.

"Hey," Hyunjin then suddenly said, breaking through a long, and awkward, moment of silence. "You're good with politics, right? I mean, you're Park Seonghwa."

"Yes, and?"

"Could you help me with this? My dad would be very happy if I came home with anything higher than a D this time."

The audacity had Seonghwa take a step back, and as his back hit the wall behind him, he quickly made a frown to cover up for it.

"What makes you think I would ever do that?" Seonghwa snorted. "Besides, it would be an A+, if I did, and that would definitely raise quite the suspicion."

"Well, you haven't left yet, so..." Hyunjin said with a shrug, "My free-period will end in like twenty, so are you going to help me or not?"

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six weeks later

It had been raining all week, and mixed with the humidity in the air, it made it almost insufferable to be outside. But the sun had come out, in a fleeting moment, perfectly timed with Seonghwa rushing across the school's green areas, not caring that his shoes were getting wet from the rain covering the grass.

"Hey..." As he stepped into the toolshed, closing the door behind him, he could finally let down his facade. The one everyone at school adored and respected - some with fear in their eyes, the one he had thought his entire life that he wouldn't be anything without. That no one would like his true self.

But he had found a kindred spirit, in the most unexpected person he could think of.

One who also put on a hard facade when he walked the hallways of KQ, and which was also put aside in Seonghwa's company.

"Hey." Hyunjin looked up, and closed the book placed against his thighs. He was sitting on the floor, back against the wall and legs pulled up in front of him.

It all started with a simple unfinished assignment on foreign politics, but somehow they kept running into each other in the small shed. If it was pure coincidence or not was unknown, but as time passed by, neither seemed bothered by the other's presence - and their supposedly coincidental meet ups soon became a daily thing.

The only thing Seonghwa was looking forward to.

Hyunjin needed a lot of help with his school work, and he would often pull his golden locks, with an agitated groan over what he furiously cursed out, as his own "fucking stupidity". He said he wasn't as smart as his friends, San and Jisung, who despite their rascal behavior had an easier time at school, study-wise, and who didn't need to spend hours at home studying. They would instead hang out after classes, go to the mall or get drunk on the alcohol they'd steal from their parents' bar cabinet, and finish their assignments the night before the deadline.

And Hyunjin felt pressured to do the same, to stay on good terms with them. They had known each other since they were kids, he said, and although all three of them already had gained lots of attention and popularity due to their looks, he was scared that no one would like him if he was just being himself.

The confession had come on another rainy day a few weeks prior, where he and Seonghwa had been sitting side by side reading, while the sound of the rain against the tin roof had played like a calming melody.

"It's still raining," Hyunjin had said, glancing towards the small windows near the ceiling, and while the blonde was busy watching the rain slide down the window, Seonghwa had stolen a secret peek at him.

And today he did the same. Every now and then he would let his eyes briefly sway towards the side the younger was sitting, but too afraid to linger for too long, he quickly looked away again. Seonghwa didn't know why, or what it was exactly that caused such a strange feeling to stir around inside of him, whenever he looked at Hyunjin - but he couldn't say he didn't like it.

He liked the way it made his heart skip a beat, when Hyunjin's eyes would look at him, as they met up in their secret place. He liked that strange feeling of not having to act so cold and dominant, whenever they were alone. He liked it, but he was also craving for more.

They were so close that their hands some times stroked against each other, as they sat next to each other, and watched the rain falling outside - and Seonghwa experienced something new, when his cheeks blushed by the fleeting touches.

"Is something wrong?" Hyunjin suddenly asked, and Seonghwa realized he had been spacing out with his eyes locked onto the younger blonde.

His cheeks went from a faint rosy shade to burning red within seconds, and he frantically tried to hide it by turning his head and ruffling his hair around in front of his eyes.

"What?" Hyunjin chuckled next to him, leaning in closer with a curious stare that Seonghwa could feel burning at the back of his neck.

Hyunjin's scent filled the air around Seonghwa, and he inhaled it slowly while a tickle spread in his stomach. The scent was strong, powerful, but calming at the same time. Seonghwa could only wonder how he hadn't noticed that before - perhaps because they hadn't been as close as they were in that given moment.

"What is it?" An almost childish whine came from Hyunjin, as he suddenly wrapped his arms around Seonghwa from the side, shaking him lightly to make him speak up.

The surprise of feeling the freshman's arms around him, startled Seonghwa who turned his head so fast that he didn't have time to calculate the distance between them. Or, the lack of same. Their lips brushed against each other, only for a second - but then, time was standing still.

Hyunjin didn't pull away, and his arms didn't loose their grip either. He sat completely still, staring into Seonghwa's eyes, while their lips were a simple breath from touching again. Then, Hyunjin's eyes began to flicker, from Seonghwa's to his lips, and a soft rosy shade was drawn across the blonde's cheeks - perfectly matching Seonghwa's.

Seonghwa nervously raised his hand, and he let his trembling fingers stroke through the blonde locks in front of him, before gently brushing them away from Hyunjin's face, earning a shy but pretty smile.

They both moved at the same time, closing the very small distance between them and let their lips meet in a real kiss. Hyunjin's lips were big and soft, and Seonghwa felt as if his own were melting against them. When the younger changed the angle of his face just slightly, before slowly parting his lips, Seonghwa did the same.

It was his first kiss, and he had no idea of what he was doing, which was a new to him as he always knew what to do and say. But with Hyunjin everything felt new, everything was a first, and everything was like an adventure into the unknown.

A warm, soft tongue slid against his own, making Seonghwa's heart race in his chest. He did his best to follow what Hyunjin did, and although he felt insecure, for probably the first time in his life, it also felt absolutely amazing.

When Hyunjin suddenly pulled him up to sit straddled over his lap, Seonghwa let out a small gasp. His body was heating up in the strangest of ways, but he definitely liked it. With a leg on each side of Hyunjin's thighs, their lips met again, and Seonghwa once again melted against the younger, while his fingers dove into the waves of the golden blonde hair.

He felt Hyunjin's hands against his back, stroking up and down so slowly, leaving his body longing for more.

"I've wanted to kiss you for so long now," Hyunjin whispered against his lips, as the kiss was broken off for a brief moment. The shining brown eyes were sending beams of happiness towards Seonghwa, making him smile like a fool.

"W-why haven't you then?" Seonghwa mumbled embarrassed, now being aware that he had wanted it as well for a long time, without even knowing.

"Didn't know if you felt the same way. You're Park Seonghwa, you can get anyone you want." Hyunjin's eyes shifted away as he spoke, and a tone of sadness was hiding in his voice.

Seonghwa untangled his fingers from the blonde hair, and he let his hands slide down the younger's neck and chest instead, with one hand he found Hyunjin's and let their fingers intertwine, but the other he kept held against the younger's chest. Right on top of his heart, picking up every heartbeat.

"What if... I just want you?" he then said, causing Hyunjin's eyes to dart directly back to his.

"Why would you?" Hyunjin mumbled, sounding almost in disbelief despite Seonghwa still sitting on top of him, and them making out only a minute ago.

"Because you calm my heart," Seonghwa responded, and he had never felt so certain about any other answer in his life.

He noticed how the corner of Hyunjin's lip was twitching, wanting to curl into a smile, but Hyunjin held it back. Afraid that he had said something wrong, Seonghwa was about to move away, until he felt the younger pulling him in closer.

"But what if I want to claim it as well?" Hyunjin asked, in a breathy whisper that tickled against Seonghwa's lips.

Had it been under any other circumstances, or coming from any other person's lips, Seonghwa would have cringed at such words. But coming from Hyunjin, with that low, husky tone his voice had turned into, made all kinds of butterflies flutter in Seonghwa's stomach.

"Then, why don't you?"

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[author's note 2: Well, as I had hoped, the European ATEEZ tour got me hyped again! And I'm currently reading this story through, but tbh I have forgotten where I wanted the story to go, so I'll have to figure out a new storyline lol. But at least I am working on it again!

I know it's been a long time, and I am sorry. If there's still anyone left reading this story, please let me know! likes and comments indicates the interest in my stories, so it really means a lot, so thank you in advance <3 haha. anyway, I hope you enjoyed, despite it all!

Ps. I also published a new story. If you like The Boyz, I hope you'll enjoy this story, it's called "The shades of love". My writing is way better in that one, I swear.]