Time was standing still. In his mind, and all around him. Silence was screaming at him, making his head hurt, and the writing on the small piece of paper in his hand blurred up, from the tears showing in his eyes.

Yeosang suddenly got up, storming through the apartment towards the bathroom. He slammed the toilet seat up, before falling to his knees and throwing up aggressively into the toilet. Everything was spinning around him, and he felt like he could see every single thought right in front of him. Like scenes from a movie, unfolding and played out, but all he wanted was for it all to go away.

All of his emotions, all his deepest wishes and the devastating memories of lost love that had been buried deep in his heart - everything was exploding all at once, merging into one big mess in his head.

He sat down on the bathroom floor, legs pulled up and with his arms hugging around his knees. For so many years he had thought back in time, he had missed San and what they had had. He had wished for them to be together.

But now, now that it actually seemed like a possibility, he felt scared.

What if it wouldn't work out? What if the only reason he had missed San so much, had been because of the unhappiness he was forced to stay in? Yeosang bit his lip, wondering how he ever had turned out to be so ungrateful. The one thing he had wanted the most for so long, was finally within his reach, and now he wasn't even sure that he wanted it.

Then, he slowly started to think back on the past couple of months - of the time after he and San met each other again.

He had been afraid that San had changed too much - that he had moved on years ago, as would've been completely fair - if time really did heal all wounds. The anger and hurt that the younger had shown him, had surely given off that San had left their memories in the past where they belonged.

But it didn't last long before his behavior had Yeosang feeling more confused than he had in years. The name of San's restaurant, the necklace still hanging around his neck. The way he had looked at Yeosang that one night in the kitchen.

With a heavy sigh, Yeosang dove his fingers into his hair, head dropping down and he pulled his brown locks while cursing under his breath.

He felt scared. What if it wasn't real love, but simply an illusion? What if their memories wouldn't be enough for them to fall in love again?

What if...

♡

The moon was out, and the street lamps on, when Yeosang walked through the city. He had thought things over so many times, too many almost, and when his head felt like it was about to explode for the second time that night, he decided to go for a walk.

He had told himself to get some fresh air, to give his mind a break and to think of something else. But when his feet seemed to listen more to his heart than his head, he soon found himself heading down the street towards a very special place.

Restaurants were closing, as he passed them by, and he hoped that he wasn't too late. It felt like a true now or never moment, and he was nervous that if he let it pass him by, he would end up doing something he'd later regret. Nothing at all.

He set up the pace for the last distance, but could thankfully breathe easy when he saw the light through the windows, at the small restaurant with the wooden sign above the door.

Something inside of him told him to turn around, to go home and sleep on it. To take things slow until he was certain he made the right decision. But once again it seemed that his body didn't listen to his brain at all. He felt numb when he opened the door and stepped inside, like he was dreaming.

San was wiping the empty tables, and his hair was dangling in front of his face when he stood bent over to reach the other side of the table. At the sound of the door opening, he looked up through the dark locks. Slowly, he straightened his back, and the cloth in his hand was soon left by its lonely self on the table.

"Hey..." Yeosang said almost in a whisper, when their eyes met.

"... Hey," San responded, just as quietly. "Did you, get the-?"

"Yeah..."

Yeosang knew he hadn't given himself much time to really think things through, and maybe he was making a big mistake, by letting his heart decide. He wasn't even divorced yet, and he had been quite the mess for too many years at that point. But then he realized something; for all those years, his heart had never gotten what it truly wanted. Maybe, it was only fair to let it have it now.

Both of them moved closer to each other, although slowly and hesitantly on both ends. Yeosang stole a quick peek at both of San's hands, and neither of them were wearing an engagement ring - not that Yeosang had assumed that there would be one after the note San had left him.

But he still needed to make sure.

"Why did you call me when I was in Bali?" he carefully asked, when they stood right in front of each other.

Yeosang had an idea, or a hope what the call had been regarding, as he knew San's birthday was around the same time as the trip with Seonghwa and the others. And Yeosang clearly remembered the conversation he had heard at Tiffany's prior to that.

"I... I just needed to talk with you," San whispered back, but he turned his head slightly to the side to look away. "Something happened, and I had to make sure I would make the right decision."

"Did you?"

"After we spoke, I was afraid I didn't... But even then, I knew in my heart what I had to do. What would only be fair to not only myself, but to others as well. Even if it would hurt at first..."

When San finally looked towards Yeosang again, a certain glimpse was showing in the pretty brown eyes - and it took Yeosang right back in time. The memory was as clear as day to him - that day in the restaurant bathroom, when San had showed up with his boyfriend to eat brunch at the same place as Yeosang.

Yeosang remembered the words the younger had said to him, but back when it happened he had thought of it being in a mocking manner. The look he was now seeing in San's eyes was the same as it was that day, but now Yeosang realized what it actually meant. The invisible wall San had put up between them, the shield he used to keep himself at a distance - it was gone, and all that was left, was just him.

*

"How long has it been, Yeosang?" San whispered, leaning in closer. "Since he last looked you in your eyes, like really looked into them - and actually saw you."

Something changed in San's eyes when he said those words out loud, something Yeosang couldn't quite explain - but he knew what he was hoping for. Still, it seemed so far away that such hope would be only a foolish wish of his fragile heart.

"Since he told you you are the most beautiful person he's ever seen."

Yeosang flinched when San suddenly touched his neck, the soft fingertips against his skin threw him right back in time, back to when he thought San could have been the one.

"How he thinks about you all day, every day, so much it hurts?" San didn't stop, and Yeosang didn't want him to either. "How even one day without you, would break his heart into pieces."

The way he was speaking now was soft and gentle, and his hand slowly moved down - but when it reached Yeosang's chest, San suddenly pulled away. His eyes changed again, and Yeosang stared at him, confused and with a lump growing in his throat.

"Fuck you, Choi," he whispered lowly, and in the corners of his eyes he felt how the tears were already gathering.

*

With a nervous hand, Yeosang reached out and placed it gently against San's neck. He looked him deeply in the eyes, falling into them and back to when they were young and so in love.

Maybe, they still were?

"Do you remember what you told me, in the bathroom that day we bumped it each other at brunch?" Yeosang asked carefully.

Back then, he thought San was mocking him, taunting him only to get a reaction. Yeosang had felt a sting in his heart, hoping that the younger had still felt something for him - but with the way San so coldly stared at him, Yeosang was convinced that those words were only meant to hurt him.

But now... He knew the true meaning behind them.

San nodded, and with tears forming in the corners of his eyes, he showed that he knew Yeosang had finally figured it out - that Yeosang finally knew that San hadn't been talking about Seonghwa, but himself.

"I never got to actually answer you..." Yeosang whispered. His voice was shaky, and felt as if it got caught in his throat.

Their noses touched first, gently and hesitantly - with their warm breath fanning over each other's skin. Eyelashes fluttering like soft wings of a butterfly, and heartbeats as fast as racehorses in their chests.

"You asked me how long it's been? ... It's been way too long."

Yeosang let his fingers follow the thin silver chain all the way around San's neck, until his hand finally found the place it has been missing for years. With his fingers diving through the dark hair and down the back of San's neck, he moved his face a bit closer - close enough for their lips to almost brush against each other.

"Don't ever let me wait this long again." Tears were streaming down Yeosang's face, when he whispered softly against San's lips. It was tears of relief, of joy, of finally being so close to the one he still loved, even after all those years.

He felt the younger's warm tears blending with his own, whenever their faces touched each other, everywhere but the lips.

But then, suddenly, San wrapped his arms around Yeosang's waist, pulled him so close that their heartbeats became one, and their lips melted against each other. And San's lips felt just as wonderful, as Yeosang remembered.

Silky soft, and fitting perfectly against his own. Yeosang put both of his arms around the younger as well, holding him close - never wanting to let him go again.

"I promise I won't," San whispered, as their lips slightly parted. His forehead rested against Yeosang's, and both of them were still crying their tears of happiness. "If you'll promise me the same?"

"I promise you."

♡