CHAPTER FOUR
[  𝗦𝟬𝟭 𝗘𝟬𝟱 : 𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗼𝘂𝗹  ]

"We're here today to remember the victims of Trans-Oceanic Flight 37."

Juliet remained silent on the stage, where she stood beside Homelander as he addressed the audience filled with reporters and family members of every victim on Flight 37. People wore black attire for the occasion, meanwhile Juliet, Maeve and her brother wore their suits with a black ribbon pinned to the chest. None of the family members in the crowd had the strength to look up and pay close attention to what Homelander had to say, but instead focused on the pictures in their hands, since it was the last piece of remembrance they had.

"123 brave souls lost in an instant, in a senseless act of violence."

Juliet clenched her jaw at that comment and pretended not to notice how the cameras flashed when she did it. These people were always looking for reactions, and it was part of Juliet's job to give them that.

"Carolyn Kozinsky, a preschool teacher from Skokie," Homelander read out from the sheet placed on the podium. "Dr. Julien Barro, an esteemed French neurosurgeon."

"Susan Lopez from Evanston and her daughter Maya."

Juliet's eyes focused on the people in the crowd and saw how a young girl hugged the framed picture close to her body at the mention of them. She felt bile rising up her throat, feeling disgusted that she did such a horrible act to them and didn't even know their names. She'd never forget the way she easily let those people die; every scream, every plea, every cry ringing in her ears for all eternity. Her eyes focused on her brother, still reading out the names of the victims, and saw those infamous fake tears yet again.

"Samuel Brown, a teacher of physics from Los Angeles." Homelander's eyes looked up from the list to address the crowd. "We are all truly sorry for your loss."

Maeve, who seemed to be in the same state as Juliet, could not handle this farce any longer and walked off the stage. Nobody said anything about her reaction, but instead used this as an opportunity to snap more pictures. The memorial service ended minutes after that, and everybody left their seats with heavy hearts, taking their treasured pictures with them.

Juliet stared out into the distance with her hands clasped together, the wind blowing her red cape back. Her back was to the now empty chairs and stage, not having enough strength to stare at the leaving family members and the way they left a part of their grief in the area.

"Your face will wrinkle if you keep frowning like that."

Juliet closed her eyes at the sound of his voice. "What do you want?"

"Again with that tone," Homelander made a noise similar to a wince on the back of his throat. He stood beside her, staring in the same direction. A beat of silence went by before he spoke again. "Remember our first mission?"

Juliet looked up at him for the first time since he approached her. "The chemical plant?"

"No," He shook his head with a smile, quite amused that she did not remember. "Our first mission alone. The hospital, hijacked by terrorists. You found a young terrorist with a bomb detonator in his hand. You did not waste a second before you lasered the bastard in half and stopped the bomb from going off."

"What's your point?" she asked with irritability.

"My point is, you did what had to be done."

What he failed to mention about that mission was that he publicly took the credit for that. Juliet allowed him to bask in all the glory and fame because she thought that'd be the last time. But, oh, how wrong she was.

"There's not a single day in my life where I don't regret that," she clarified.

It seemed like every time she went out and did those kinds of missions, she'd close her eyes and see another minute to her never-ending nightmare movie. She slowly shook her head to get rid of the flashing images of those desperate people on the plane, and desperately wanted to get away from her brother as soon as possible. It felt like he amplified her guilt by just standing near her.

"Nobody wanted that airplane to go down the way it did, of course not," He reasoned, though Juliet believed otherwise.  "And now, we got to make the best of it. Otherwise. . .Well, otherwise, it was all for nothing."

Juliet's schedule for the remaining half of the day was to make an appearance in the Believe Expo, an annual Christian festival of all ages. It wasn't her first time attending, in fact, it was one of the only events Vought allowed her to attend in which she wasn't covering for any members of the Seven. She got there in a flash, landing on an unoccupied part of the field in which the Expo would take place. The people around automatically cheered at the sight of her, and Juliet waved in every direction as she walked through the grass.

She hoped this time wouldn't be as boring as the years before, especially after she texted Hughie with the intention to see him again after leaving their first hang-out early. Juliet continued walking through the field, stopping every now and then to take selfies with fans, but her attention was on finding Hughie amongst the large crowds. She cursed herself for leaving her phone back at the tower, but that was something she did often based on the fact that her suit didn't have pockets.

"Stronghold, hi!"

That wasn't the voice she expected to hear. Juliet turned around to see Starlight walking up to her with a joyous grin. She wore the same white and gold suit Juliet had met her with, but something that stood out was the identical black ribbon pinned to it.

"It's great to see you again," Starlight greeted, growing shy under Juliet's eyes. "I'm sorry for what happened with Flight 37."

Juliet momentarily froze at the mention of the incident, something she might have to get used to in the next few days. "Yeah. Thank you."

"I'm sure you did your best."

Juliet hummed in response, growing subconsciously tense when Starlight placed a comforting hand in her arm. Starlight noticed the involuntary action and got the wrong idea, taking a nervous step back and crossing her arms over her chest.

It took an entire minute for Starlight to gather enough courage to speak again. "I, um, have a few minutes of spare time, would you mind if I stayed with you?"

"No problem," Juliet shook her head.

"Thanks."

She and Starlight walked through the grass in newly found silence, passing through food and merchandise stands, while waving at enthusiastic fans. Juliet stared at the side of Starlight's head with intrigue, trying to figure out when she would drop the facade and show how she truly was when nobody was looking. Naturally, every other person in the Seven would smile to the crowds and then be the complete opposite behind the scenes – but not Starlight. She seemed genuine when taking pictures with fans and smiling at everybody she came across with. Maybe that was her trick – playing nice to gain people's undying adoration and for her to take advantage of that later on – it wouldn't be the first time Juliet witnessed it.

"So," Juliet decided to break the ice. "It seems like you know everybody here."

"My mom and I, we would drive coast to coast in her brown Honda Civic, just doing the whole Christian Circuit thing. You know, Power Fest, Capes for Christ, Believe Expo." A nostalgic smile washed over Starlight's features. She seemed relaxed to share this with somebody. "We wore the tires off of that car. These people are like family to me."

"What about you?"

"I, uh, the usual stuff," Juliet lied. "It's boring, so I'll spare you the details."

"I doubt anything in your life is boring," Starlight retorted with a grin.

Juliet copied her smile, doing her best to make it look genuine. She wanted to correct her assumption, to tell her that everything she might think about her life is wrong, but instead bit the inside of her cheek to restrain herself from saying anything.

They rounded a corner of another aisle of stands, crowded with people handing out pamphlets and some responding to any sort of question one may have while being in a place like this. An older woman in formal attire approached them, too relaxed to be another fan, but her gaze was particularly fixated on Starlight.

"Sweetheart."

"Mom!" Starlight exclaimed and immediately stepped forward to wrap her arms around her. When she pulled away, she started the conversation. "How was your flight?"

"Oh, it was a nightmare. I think we sat on the runway for 45 minutes, and then there was all the, you know, Flight 37 stuff," the woman's tone turned solemn for a second before she regained her chirpy voice. "But a Xanax and a couple of Pinot Grigio later, here I am."

The woman finally noticed Juliet's presence beside her daughter, eyes moving up and down the suit to figure out who she was. All Juliet could do was offer an awkward wave, feeling like an intruder to this conversation.

"Hi."

"Mom, this is — "

"Stronghold!" Starlight's mother realized with a gasp. "You're Homelander's sister, right?"

"That's me. It's so nice to meet you," Juliet smiled politely at the woman and extended her hand for her to shake. "You have a wonderful daughter, you should be proud."

"Oh, I am," Starlight's mother smiled at the compliment.

Before she could say anything else, Ashley approached the three in her usual strut, with a crew of makeup artists behind her. "Starlight, you hydrating?"

Starlight didn't give her a verbal response.

"Hey, Donna," Ashley flashed Starlight's mother, now known as Donna, a plastic smile. "How was your flight?"

"Oh, it was perfect — "

Ashley interrupted Donna's answer to her own question, eyes on Starlight. "You have that 'Teen Roundtable' in about 15, are you ready?"

"Oh, she was born ready," Donna answered for her daughter. "I should know, I was there."

"Great," Ashley faked a laugh before she focused on Juliet, clasping her hands together. "Stronghold, 'Faith Explorers' starts right after her. Hair and makeup will be expecting you 15 minutes before, got it?"

"Got it."

Ashley nodded in satisfaction at the response and gestured for Starlight to follow after her.  She headed in the direction of a large tent, not before she turned around to walk backwards in order to give Juliet a final wave. She copied the action until Starlight whirled on her heel and disappeared inside the tent. Juliet proceeded to politely excuse herself from Donna, in hopes to find Hughie before she had to do her own panel.

She searched through the dozens of stands in the Expo, but she didn't seem to find him anywhere. She rounded a corner to the last aisle in the field she was going to search in, when she recognized him in one of the many food stands. His back was to her, and he lowered his head to check something, completely oblivious to the fact that Juliet was behind him. She decided to use that to her advantage. She'd seen this many times before – friends scaring friends in a playful manner – they were friends now, why not do it?

Juliet sneaked up behind him with a smile, standing on her tiptoes despite her boots having heels to make sure he heard her before muttering, "Hey, you."

Hughie turned around, startled. His tense posture relaxed when he noticed who she was, although there was a written frown on his face that disappeared as quick as she noticed it. He let out an awkward laugh to recover himself from the jumpscare, and even placed a hand on his heart to add effect.

"Hey!" He placed his hands on his pockets, a gesture he always did when he was nervous about something. "I was just about to call you."

"Wouldn't have worked, I left my phone back home," Juliet explained, clasping her hands together on her back. "And I have a strict policy of not texting and flying."

She internally winced at that comment. Why did I say that? she thought to herself. Juliet might've thought he'd let her remark fly in an awkward silence, but she was surprised when he let out a chuckle.

"Good policy," he said, grinning. "I'm surprised I haven't seen a PSA of that yet."

Juliet smiled at his words and her eyes trailed down toward the shirt he was wearing, which was definitely something she'd never seen beforehand. She cleared her throat and looked back up to meet Hughie's eyes. "Nice shirt."

"Thanks," Hughie's grin was amplified because of the compliment. He tugged on the ends of it so the image on the graphic tee looked clearer. "You like Billy Joel?"

"Um, I, yeah," Juliet struggled for an answer. "He's great."

Hughie hummed and crossed his arms over his chest, as if he could see right through her. "You have no idea who he is, don't you?"

"Not a single clue."

"What?" He asked with a laugh, not offended by her confession but amused. "How could you not know who Billy Joel is?"

Juliet smiled apologetically to buy time for another lie. "My parents were pretty strict with what music my brother and I listened to. Only songs I know are the ones my mom used to play on the piano."

Juliet hated herself for lying to him. He was one of the nicest people she ever had the luck to encounter, and here she was, misusing the trust between their rising friendship. She despised it; the lies that Vought creatively fabricated in order to make their famous superheroes relatable to the public, instead of admitting the crude truth behind them.

"Really?" He placed his hands on his hips. "I mean, that's totally okay, but. . .Really?"

"Really."

"That is totally unacceptable."

She laughed.

"I'm afraid this friendship will have to end," he faked a serious expression. "I can't be friends with someone who doesn't know what a genius Billy Joel is."

"Fine," She raised her hands in surrender while still chuckling at his dramatics. "Maybe I'll give it a try."

"That's all I wanted to hear."

Juliet could not stop smiling through the entire interaction, finding it easy to let loose around him. She made a mental note to listen to Billy Joel just like she told him she would, and found his way of defending his favorite musician kind of amusing. Hughie's chuckles died out in a few seconds, and the two of them walked through the grass in a comfortable silence.

"I know this is stupid for me to ask," he broke the silence. "But, I've always wondered, what's it like to be a superhero? I mean, you're always out there saving lives, and I always wonder how you deal with it."

Juliet has heard that question millions of times in her life. Usually, that answer was scripted, but this time she took her time to answer. She wanted to give him a genuine one, contrary to the ones she typically gave when he asked personal questions, since she felt like he deserved it.

"I don't know," she pressed her lips to a thin line. "I feel like, uh, being a hero is a lot like carrying a double-edged sword. On one hand, you have the power to save lives and make a difference. But on the other, the responsibility and the losses can weigh heavily on you."

Her mind brought her back to Flight 37, and she bit the inside of her cheek to snap herself out of it.

"And I always force myself to do better, you know?" she glanced back at him and noticed he was already looking at her, eager for what she had to say. She noticed her words were not only being directed at him, but at her as well. "Because it's my duty to go back out there despite not succeeding all the time. And that's a price I'm willing to pay. Because if I don't do it, who says somebody else will?"

"Wow." He muttered in amazement. "You're literally the most persevered person I've ever met."

Juliet averted her gaze to the floor at his words.

"No, seriously," he continued. "Why aren't you in The Seven? Everybody else can pack up and go home because no one has said something like that."

She chuckled. "You and I wonder the same thing."

"Wait, what?"

Juliet mentally cursed herself for blurting that out. She could hear Stillwell's words in the back of her head, reminding her to keep quiet about that topic.

"Oh, it's nothing," she dismissed immediately. "Don't worry about it."

Hughie wanted to ask something more, but he was smart not to pry. He and Juliet fell back into a comfortable silence, passing through the rest of the Expo. They even stopped to buy drinks in one of the stands, although Juliet declined the offer and only Hughie left with a cold beverage in hand. They walked through a stand covered in balloons, and Hughie accidentally bumped into several of them, erupting a laugh out of them both.

"Hey. . ." It was Hughie's time to clear his throat. The relaxed smile on his face transformed into a serious frown, and the sudden change of mood surprised her. "Can I ask you something?"

"You have a lot of questions today," she teased, which only made Hughie let out a huff of a laugh. "Ask away." Suddenly, she was afraid this conversation might lead to the part she dreaded the most.

"Is there any way you could hook me up with one of those Diamond Club Passes?" There it was. Hughie mistook Juliet's silence as an invitation to continue talking.  "You know, to see Ezekiel? I mean, I couldn't get one unless I robbed a bank. But. . .you know."

She pretended to not be affected by it. "Ezekiel?"

"Yeah. Yeah," Hughie's awkward nature made it hard for her anger to increase, but it didn't sting any less. "Um, okay. Confession time. My dad is, like, Ezekiel's number one fan."

That was something she heard on a regular basis. "Right."

"So what do you think?" Hughie asked. "Pull a few strings, you know? Hook me up with some tickets?"

"Yeah, yeah," Juliet gave him the answer he wanted. "Sure, of course."

"Thank you."

Was that all she ever was to people? An easy way to get VIP tickets or personal autographs of other superheroes? Juliet thought that this time it might be different, that it wouldn't end up like every other time she tried to make friendships, where they always ended up prioritizing her status instead of her own person. Maybe this was the universe's sign to stop trying – reminding her that she would never be normal, no matter how hard she worked to change that.

Juliet was incredibly lucky to have missed her brother's speech on the main stage of the Expo, an event that went quite well with the audience but certainly had everyone back at the tower fuming. Based on what she heard from certain parents as they picked up their children after her 'Faith Explorers' panel, Homelander announced that the country was under attack and that he would do anything in his power to stop it. She passed by many people talking about what happened, and the way he flew in between the crowd like a god. All of this fueled his already enormous ego, and Juliet knew that was not good at all.

On request of Ashley, Juliet stood behind the stage to see Starlight's entire presentation. She hid away from view on the right wing of the stage, next to Ezekiel, Donna and Ashley, who were paying deep attention to every word she was saying.

"Hello, Believe Expo!"

The crowd applauded and cheered as Starlight made her way to the center of the stage, waving out to the hundreds of people huddled together to see her. 

"I am so honored to be here tonight," Starlight spoke after the cheers had died out. "Did you know that my first public appearance was right here on this very stage with Ezekiel and the rest of the family?"

The audience broke into applause at her words, and she waited until it faded to speak again.  "Today, I wanted to share with you how I accepted Christ. . .as my personal savior. How His way is the only way. . ."

Starlight paused and glanced to the side from the corner of her eye, where her mother was nodding at her to continue. The lights were shining down to her, and she raised a hand to cover herself from their demanding brightness.

"Just. . .Just, please stop the music. Please stop."

The crowd began murmuring amongst themselves, some letting out gasps at the sudden shift in her behavior. Ashley exchanged a shocked look with Ezekiel, equally shocked as the audience. Donna, on the other hand, mouthed something to her daughter, the disapproval written in her tone. Juliet crossed her arms over chest, eager to know what she would do next.

"You want me to just suck it up and do this for you?" Starlight's eyes were still focused on the right wing, specifically on her mother. "You have no idea what you're really asking. You have no idea what I've been through."

Starlight returned to address the crowd, stepping away from the screens she was previously reading off. "Every single word that I say up here, I'm reading from a script. I didn't write any of these words. I don't even know if I believe in them. I mean, I believe in God, I love God so much, but. . ."

"Honestly, it's just how goddamn certain everyone is around here." People gasped when they heard her say those words, but that didn't stop her. "I mean, tickets start at, what, 170 bucks, so that these people can tell you how to get to heaven? How do they know? How does anybody know? When the Bible was written, life expectancy was 30 years old. I mean, I'm not so sure you're supposed to take it literally. It also says that it's a sin to eat shrimp. What, if you're gay or if you're Gandhi, you're going to hell? I mean — And if you have sex before marriage, that's not immoral. That's human."

The look on Donna's and Ashley's faces were priceless. Juliet knew there was no stopping her, and genuinely, she was happy for her. This was the first time she'd seen someone break the rules around here for a good reason, and to speak up against something that they didn't believe was right. Where did Starlight find the strength and bravery to do this, Juliet did not know.

"What's immoral is the guy who shoved his dick in my face."

Those words were followed by gasps, including Juliet's. She covered her mouth to prevent anyone from hearing it, but it was still audible to everyone standing beside her behind the stage. It all clicked in her head – the peculiar smell and the ruined state of her makeup the very first day she saw her at the tower.

"Here's the truth. Anyone who tells you they know the answers is lying," Starlight continued her speech, eyes never leaving the crowd. "And I know, I know, I'm supposed to be this hero-idol-symbol-whatever, but I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I'm just as scared and confused as the rest of you. I'm done pretending, and I'm done taking any more shit."

The entire audience did not make a single sound when she finished talking. They all stared with judging eyes, a sight that Juliet did not wish upon anybody. Starlight must've known she wasn't going to get an applause from all those people and instead thanked the audience before heading toward the right wing. Everybody surrounded her almost immediately, scolding her for going off-script and for denouncing everything that they were promoting on the Expo, and Juliet could see the way Starlight did not pay attention to any of that, but locked eyes with her instead. All Juliet could do was give her an impressed look before she left the stage.

Juliet decided to speak to Starlight another time, since she witnessed first hand how she was surrounded and knew that Ashley's crazed rants would go on for hours. She walked through the field, left in complete darkness despite the stage and everything around it was surrounded by blinding lights. She thought about leaving; she had done what was expected of her for the day, and part of her did not want to risk coming across Hughie after the way he dismissed her earlier today.

"Hey," The universe was not on her side. She turned around to see Hughie walking up to her, hands in his pockets. "I was wondering if you'd, I don't know, might want to reschedule our bowling night for today?"

"I don't know, will that be before or after you ask me for a tour backstage so you can see Starlight?" Juliet asked sarcastically, her voice laced with frustration. "By the way, how was your quality time with Ezekiel? Huh? Any more VIP tickets I can get for you? Because, that's all I'm good for."

Hughie lowered his head in shame. "It's not like that."

"You sure? 'Cause I can get you a commemorative cup. Or I can get you an Ezekiel figurine, or a Homelander autograph – "

"My girlfriend died."

Juliet froze at that statement. All the words she prepared to say next were stuck in her throat, and all she could muster to ask was, "What?"

"Happened not too long ago, and I came here to get out of the shit that I'm in right now," He explained before he locked eyes with her. "And that wasn't fair to you, and I'm so sorry."

Juliet felt terrible for judging him when she didn't know the full story, trying to convince herself that it made sense with everything they talked about today.

"I really don't think there's anything that can help it anymore or fix it, or make it better," Hughie continued his rant to explain himself. "And everything I heard here? Well, that helped a total of jack shit. Except for what you told me."

She tilted her head to the side in confusion at that confession. That was the first time somebody ever told her that what she said mattered.

"And thats the only fucking thing I've heard all day that's made any sense at all, and that is the God's honest truth."

"I am so sorry," Juliet apologized, for jumping to conclusions and for the loss he had to experience.

"No, no, no," he shook his head. "I'm sorry."

Juliet gathered enough confidence to take a step forward and wrap her arms around Hughie's shoulders to provide some sense of comfort. It took him a minute to register what was happening, but he allowed the embrace and wrapped his arms around her body too. It was the first time in years since Juliet was hugged in this sense, as an intimate interaction between two people, instead of a fake embrace for cameras. And she could get used to it.

author's note !

hated the way i ended this chapter but i was on a brainrot so please forgive me. 

love homelander and juliet scenes because their dynamic its so funny to write them lol.

- see you soon, bex <3