Book: Entangled Hearts
Author: jennierubyjanekisses
Reviewer: Gise_lliana
Chapters read: 10+

I. Content: 30/40
1. Plot/Storyline: 10/10
    - Originality and creativity
The concept and idea was something really new. It typically reflected behind the scenes of the celebrity lifestyle and the hidden struggles. 
     - Engagement and interest
The opening scene takes place in a cafe, where the young Author Breeh has been drafting her stories. Her encounter with the elites in that cafe and the scene caused between her friend Minho and one of the most influential figures Wang Jackson sparks an interest in the reader's mind. Other than that, Breeh's encounter with other famous celebs in events are crafted very beautifully that is an additional merit which enhances the overall interest of the reader and provides an optimistic view towards the story.
     - Well-structured and coherent
Structurally, the story is properly aligned. The paragraphs are arranged properly and the opening and closing lines are constructed carefully.

2. Character Development: 5/10
    - Believable and relatable characters
Breeh's lifestyle was phenomenally described in the beginning. Her struggles and the turmoil of feelings within her heart was able to resonate with typical young woman who is struggling in her life and fighting her own battles while her profession as a writer depicts her temporary escape from the realities of this world.
Taehyung and Jungkook in this case feels like 2d characters. Even though it's more on  a Fanfiction side and the reader's would know most details about their personalities since they're such an influential and great figures in real life, but you need to work more on providing descriptions of  their personalities and their backgrounds in relevance to this story which plays a huge role in their development as the story progresses.

3. Themes and Messages: 8/10
    - Clear and impactful themes
Themes of friendship, love and betrayal are portrayed effectively. Other than that themes like celebrity lifestyle, personal struggles and underworld are quite evident as well.
    - Well-integrated messages
Breeh's lifestyle is a clear cut message of a struggling person in his early twenties trying to fight his way out of the problems faced by him and returning victorious with a successful career.
Taehyung's life is a depiction of a lonely man who needs someone who would understand him and his feelings behind the facades of his arrogant personality.
Breeh's sudden runaway is the depiction of betrayal. Other than that the alliances between Jimin and Yoongi as well as Breeh's parents and Taehyung's parents gives a view into the underworld and behind the scenes of these popular figures.
     - Resonance with readers
The characters and their lifestyle resonates quite well with the reader. Even though most of the readers might not be from a celebrity background but a view into their lifestyle grows an inquisitiveness. At the same time the depiction of their daily lifestyles have proved to be successful in garnering the reader's attention as well as provides a resonating factor.

4. World-building: 7/10
    - Immersive and detailed setting
The world building and the description of the surroundings is awesomely curated. The settings and scenes are very detailed which makes the reader dive into a whole new world. The only part that lacks is the proper description of the characters as well as their actions, which creates a hindrance and doesn't do justice to such beautifully written settings.
    - Well-developed culture and society
Descriptions of events and other organizations, as well as the events like scandals example the scandal caused between Taehyung and Breeh shows the knowledge the author posses regarding the kpop and celebrity culture of South Korea.
     - Consistency and logic
Till a certain point the consistency of the story is maintained wonderfully. After that the story goes in a wrong direction. All the scenes and stuff looks just messy and quite illogical at times. Inshort it feels everything is everywhere.

II. Writing Style: 19/30
1. Writing Quality: 7/15
    - Clarity and concision
The paragraphs are very well written. They're neither too long nor too short, exactly the way it should be. Though most of the things are clear but it seems that you're confused between the povs.
Example: I approached with a hesitant smile, trying to hide her nerves.(Chapter 3, Unexpected encounters)
Here, you have mixed up the Breeh's perspective and the 3rd person perspective. Instead it should have been:
Edited: I approached with a hesitant smile, trying to hide my nervousness. (Breeh's perspective)
Edited: She approached with a hesitant smile painted across her face, trying to hide her nervousness. ( 3rd person perspective)
There are many such similar instances which fails to impress readers and creates quite a pessimistic perception towards the story.
     - Engaging and descriptive language
As I mentioned above the descriptions provided are very interesting and the use of language and words is impactful as well. Only the part where you need to work is the perspectives since you seem to be confused between them.
    - Grammar and mechanics
The vocabulary used was very good. Though you have a strong command on vocabulary but there are many grammatical errors in the sentence formation and phrases which fails to enhance the vibrancy of your content. The spelling errors are very evident and there are other complex errors as well, the blunder between the perspectives being one.
Example: nerves have been used instead of nervousness.

2. Tone and Atmosphere: 6/10
    - Appropriate tone for the genre
The tone and words used for the genre is very important and in this case it seems you have given it the importance it requires. Which successfully in return turned out to be advantageous for the story.
    - Effective creation of atmosphere
The creation of tense atmospheres and the events is done appropriately the only part that is lacking is its sequencing.
    - Consistency throughout
Consistency till chapter 5 was maintained amazingly but after that as I mentioned things started getting messy. The sequencing of the occurrence of the events is the problem. Sequencing the story as well as formatting and aligning them well can enhance the lacking factors.

3. Pacing and Tension: 3/5
    - Well-balanced pacing
Pacing of the beginning chapters was proper but after that it went with an unimaginable speed. The pacing is too fast. Breeh's engagement, her sudden disappearance and the time skip of 2 years was too much to take in. All of them was very abrupt and unusual. Putting in more efforts and introducing more scenes could help balancing the pace of the story.
- Effective tension and suspense
This part of the story is exceptionally rare. Yoongi and Jimin's deal as well as pacts between Lisa and Jennie are the part of the stories which piqued my interest greatly. Lisa eavesdropping about the huge planning between Yoongi and Jimin, as well as her meeting with an unknown person effectively creates suspense and tension in the story.

III. Technical Merit: 22/30
1. Editing and Proofreading: 11/15
    - Error-free writing
Proof reading is a must since there are some editing errors. Other than that most of the content seems error free in this context.
    - Consistency in formatting and style
Formatting and styling of the paragraphs and sentences is quite well maintained except for the organization of the scenes.

2. Organization and Structure: 8/10
- Logical chapter and section organization
The organization of chapters and the names used is accurate. It already provides an insight into what events would take place.
    - Effective use of transitions
Transition from one chapter to another is good but at places it becomes abrupt and confusing as well. Other than that it is not a problem in a long run.

3. Cover Design and Illustrations: 3/5
    - Relevant and appealing cover design
The cover design is appreciable but it falls short of the criterion that is required to attract a good audience. The characters on the cover feels more like a cutout amd doesn't blend well with the background.
    - Effective use of illustrations (if applicable)
Not applicable

Additional Considerations:
     - Emotional resonance and impact
Though the story is able to resonate with the reader's daily life but it falls short of making one experience an emotional rollercoaster. The story gives only one type of vibe that is pessimistic, other than that there are hardly any events which brings a change in the atmosphere regarding the emotions.

Total: 71/100
Rating Scale: 70-79% (Fair)

─⁠──⁠──⁠──⁠─ ⋄ ☾∘☽ ⋄ ─⁠──⁠──⁠──⁠─

Thank you for requesting a review from us. Do let us know what you think so that we can improve to better provide for authors like you.