.・。.・゜✭・.・

"even before i was touched, i belonged to you; you had only to look at me"
louise glück
.・。.・゜✭・.・

THE IDEA OF GENUINE HAPPINESS IS FOREIGN TO TEN YEAR OLD Stella of Solaria as she sits on her chair next to her mother at the annual royal meeting. There is a soreness in her bones, a soreness not of bruises, but a soreness of existence, a soreness of all that she does not know, all that she does not have.

Next to her is Sky of Eraklyon, the boy in which her mother had told her to get along with, that it was an integral part of her duty as princess of Solaria. He is giving her a grimace of a smile as she attempts to talk to him, to continue her duty as princess. Their conversation is halted when his little sister tugs on his shirt and looks away from the aquarium she was ogling at to whisper something in his ear. Jealousy boils in Stella's bones as she watches how he looks at her, like she was the fullest sunlight that laid gently on the dark bruises of december nights. The boy leaves and she is left with young girl with a toothy grin made of sunlit softness.

"They're bored." the girl whispers jutting a thumb towards the aquarium that sat in the corner of the hall "No one here is talking to them or even feeding them, poor things." she cooes and Stella blinks with surprise. "You.. you can understand what they're saying?" the younger girl pauses gives Stella the same toothy grin that she gave her brother as says "Don't be silly, princess. Animals can't talk."

"I suppose they cannot." Stella replies and the two girls sit in silence until the younger blonde turns to look at the elder once again and she meekly says "If they could talk they'll say you're really pretty." Eight year old Stella pauses, being told she was pretty is not something new yet somehow she feels her cheeks flush and she whispers back a small 'thank you'.

The younger girl rewards her with that golden smile of hers and Stella feels every inch of her skin ignite at the sight of it. There is an electrical surge, lighting her up from the inside out.

She can barely breathe at the sight of it but for the first time in her life she felt so alive.

AT TIMES ROXY BELIVED SHE WAS A PINE TREE DISINTEGRATED into the shape of a girl. She sits at the base of a tree, her shoes discarded and her feet planted deep in the earth with the roots of trees and wildflowers, drawing comfort. She listens to the trees as they attempt to comfort her, it is
not as though each of them have a voice just like how she listens to her animals there is subtle hum in the air. Some are high, some low, some are smooth, all with the cadence of a lullaby "you are okay, you are home now, you are okay" they say and all the leaves rustle in the wind and slowly, slowly her tears stop until she is merely sniffing.

At times Roxy belived she was a pine tree disintegrated into the shape of a girl. You see, Roxy may had been an earth fairy but her focus was animals, her ability to communicate like this with the forest should not be possible, the fact that there were times where she felt she was not separate from the forest was not supposed to be a regular occurrence but nonetheless she was forever grateful. it was moments like these, so soft, heather- scented moments, that she was forever grateful for.

After her ecounter with Stella she had sulked off to the forest to seek solace, it was now past sunset and the moon was peaking out of its hiding place, tear stained and hurt she continued to find comfort in the hands of the forest "Maybe we were lovers in a past life? Perhaps that is why the idea of losing her torments me so much" Kiko snarls and she could feel the annoyance rolling of him, she laughs  and places a soft kiss to his forehead "I know, I know, I deserve better." There was a soft breeze which alerted her the trees felt the same way, she huffed out a small laugh before getting up "As much as I love that you all think i'm the greatest thing to exist since cheese, I should probably get going."

She gathered Kiko in her arms and wished the forest a small goodbye before trudging towards her room trying to ignore the shaking of her hands, how they crack and crumble at the thought of seeing her again.

Alas she finds herself opening the door and she is met with the scent of nectarine and coffee, slender fingers and a somber face "Have you been crying?" Stella questions, lips twisted as though the thought of Roxy hurting hurt her. Roxy feels the ghostly echo of storm clouds in her throat but before she is forced to answer she takes notice to her other roommates who are frowning it what she deciphers as anger and impatience "What's wrong?" She asks instead of answering Stella's question.

"Your girlfriend-" Aisha begins only to be interrupted by the two blondes squaking with matching red cheeks

"We're not-"
"She's not-"

Musa gives them both a look as though she found those statements to be utterly false but she refused to comment simply continuing to explain what was happening "Bloom's missing and Stella knows something about it."

Immediately the dirty blonde whirls around to face the Princess, who was avoiding her eyes (Stella was certain that looking at disappointed Roxy of Eraklyon was like kicking a puppy, simply impossible) "Stella, where's Bloom?" The light fairy huffs faking nonchalance as she say "She was feeling homesick, so I did a nice thing, and I lent her my ring so that she could go back to the First World"

Silence weighs heavily in the room and Terra's face twists something akin to panic "Doesn't it only work outside the barrier?"

"Yes, and there's a gateway in the old cemetery" Stella replied, tone dripping with fake boredom and she focuses on her nails (and tries to dismiss the feeling of Roxy's eyes burning into her skull)

Panic nests in Roxy's chest, she may be a child of the forest but she knew the dangerous that lied between the pine trees, she had heard too many stories of girls who had thought themselves to be Alice and wondered too deep only to remerge all dead eyes and ripped laces and cigarettes. "We have to have to find her, it's really dangerous out there." Terra, Musa and Aisha seem to share the same sentiment already reaching for their jackets before she could finish the sentence.

Roxy reaches for her own jacket only to be stopped by Stella's hand. Silence filled the air and yet, at the same time, it was filled with so many other things- defeat, heartbreak, resignation, the regretful yearning, the need to be stupid and to kiss each other, the pain of knowing they couldn't. "I need to go, Princess" Roxy finally said, the old nickname easily rolling off her tongue like a reflex- a muscle memory so deep-seared and yet so strange and unfamiliar now.

Stella nodded and removed her hand.

This doesn't feel right

This doesn't feel right

All too painfully she removes her hand and finally lets go.

THE STORY OF ICARUS IS SOMETHING YOUNG STELLA KNOWS WELL to many others it's a tale of man's hubris and wanting. To Stella, the tale of icarus became of telling of her own life, her own need for pure pure opulence that came in the form of Roxy of Eraklyon

It's a early December night, they are on the fieldstone dancing barefoot in the fire-petaled gaillardias. Stella's mouth turns dry as she watches Roxy move dancing with the blue jays and humming to the trees, Roxy stops offers her hand and Stella decides to humour her swaying to the oscillating beat of her heart.

Love has already began to grow it's flesh- like wild grass spreading free in abandoned lawns, albeit carefully contained so as to not flood- to not spill at every sigh.

Roxy stops and smiles, and at that moment Stella swears the younger is not human, she knows it by her smile made of golden dust and starlight- she does not belong to the race of men "Y'know, according to greek mythology humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Zeus split them into two separate beings condemning us to spend our lives in search of our other halves... Stella I think you're mine"

Stella smiles at Roxy, soft like her souls demands "As you are mine Roxy, my best friend, my other half."

Ichor drips from her finger tips, gold glistens on her lips, She took to Roxy like icarus took to the sky and her fall will be just as sweet

STELLA FINDS HERSELF IN SKY'S ROOM THAT NIGHT, HEAD TUCKED INTO HIS BARE CHEST but she finds herself unable to fall asleep, she wonders when does she start letting go.

It's not in the ruminations.All they'll long for is simpler times back when loving Roxy was all she ever knew- back when sighing her name didn't hurt.

How could she let Roxy go when her shaking hands refuse to confront her absence. Her throat refusing to abandon all yearning, her skin tainted by the younger's lips, ghosting gently- forming into the sweetest smiles.

Rome didn't burn down in a day so she decides she can hold on to loving Roxy of Eraklyon for a little bit more.

word count: 1629

episode 01 (finished)

note:
nine year old roxy: *smiles*
ten year old stella: if anything happens to this child i will kill everyone in the room and then myself

ALSO

roxy: i am like totally in love with you
stella: same bestie but no homo tho

BARBIEs BLABS｡.｡:∞♡*♥
[did y'all like it? i'm feeling very meh on this chapter! don't forget to comment and vote loves!!]