.Shubman Gill.

There is something in her presence I can't stop thinking about. I am laying in my bed and looking up at the ceiling. Thoughts of Noor have been roaming in my head and I wonder what it would be if I would have said it to her.

Today when she came and stood in front of me I couldn't resist myself and I went back to the very first day I saw her.

She was my neighbour and maa had called her family to have dinner with us. She had a cheeky smile which I liked. She had soft laugh which I loved.

She is now a whole different person. She doesn't have her cheeky smile. It's the small smile that I am not liking.

She had become a gloomy person, unlike her past self which was a brighter version than she has now. She kept quiet while we walked and barely talked.

I was looking at her when she looked at her old house. She went silent and kept looking at it. The house have new owners and its the Sethi's. My girlfriend's house.

But Noor doesn't know it. She doesn't even know that I have a girlfriend.

Noor was 14 when her parents died in a fire accident. There was a gas leakage that led to the fire incident.

I remember we were in my room. I was looking at her only while she was laughing with Shahneel when maa came and called me and Shahneel.

Maa told what had happened and everything changed. Noor changed.

I remember how she had gone silent when maa told her, how she stood still when her parents were buried, how she didn't ate for a week, how she cried silently in her room and how she had moved from here to Delhi because she wanted to leave her past behind and start a new journey.

But not a single journey begins without a heartbreak. She wanted to leave her past but past is never left behind. It's with you at your every step. Lingered with your soul.

Her parents were her whole world and when they died, her whole world was destroyed in front of her eyes and she couldn't even do anything.

Even though I pretended that I hated Noor but only I know how I used to cry looking at her bloodshot eyes.

One day Shahneel had came running in my room and told me that Noor became a therapist. I was both happy and sad on that day.

Happy because she always wanted to become a therapist. She wanted to cure people's misery. But I was sad because she never cured the scars on her heart, never moved on.

Noor was startled by a dog's bark. Roy, Akira's dog. He came running to the gate and barked at her. Noor looked blankly at him and then moved towards him.

Roy whimpered and then Noor caressed him. Akira also came by and stood beside him. Akira looked up at me and I couldn't maintain a eye contact and looked away. I looked at Noor who was now engaged in caressing Roy.

Akira crossed arms and called me "Shub!" I looked up at her and slowly went to her. Not close to Noor.

"What?" I whispered "Why are you whispering?" She asked with a questionable face. I shook my head and asked what happened.

"Shub can we talk?"
"We are talking."
"I am sorry for that day." I looked at her.
"What?"
"Sorry Shub, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pressurized you for holding my hand. I am sorry." She said with a small smile.
"It's fine." I said with a stren face.

I looked at Noor hoping she didn't listened this.

___________

"Is it that easy Jugnu? Stop blabbering. You don't even know what you are talking." I nearly yelled at Khushpreet.

"What? Isn't it obvious?" He said.
"What? What is obvious?"
"That you are again in love with the same person, Noor? See you can't lie to me-"

"Stop this bullshit Jugnu, I have a fucking girlfriend. Akira. And I wasn't in love with Noor then and not even now. Enough." I slapped my hands on the steering wheel.

Khushpreet and I were in the car having our meal when He started this nonsense topic. 'Who I love.'

"And why the fuck do you care about my love life huh? I'll look whom should I love or not. Don't interfere."

"Oh so I am interfering now, I have been with you when you didn't even knew the spelling of 'interfere'. Don't talk shit. I was just...never mind. Go do whatever you want." He said.

None of us ate our meal and stayed silent until we reached back home. Khushpreet slammed the door of the car and ran inside the house.

While I stayed in the car, my face in my hands. I was startled by the sudden knock on the window and I looked up to see Akira standing there.

She came and sat in the passenger seat. "What happened Shub?" She asked as she placed her hand on mine.

I leaned back in my seat and sighed. "Nothing."