I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF KSJFHDKJH

---

Theron: Would you take a bullet for me?

Caelum: ...yes?

*Daphne angrily bursts into the room*

Theron: *running away* Great, thanks!

---

Caelum: Just say when.

Theron: When.

Caelum: I-

Caelum: Now or later?

Theron: Oh.

---

*Daphne and Caelum are in a car teetering headfirst on the edge of a cliff*

Daphne: Oh geez, Caelum, go backwards!

Caelum, exasperated: Really, Daphne? I thought I might go forwards into the river, I thought that would be a FUN THING TO DO.

---

Daphne: Look at the BUNS on that guy!

Caelum: *lying on the floor, covered in hamburger buns*

Theron: This is the comedy police! The joke's too funny!

Daphne: I'm not going back to jail!

Theia, watching the whole thing: *slow facepalm*

---

Caelum: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Daphne: I know. Whenever I'm near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Caelum: But you're always acting stupid?

Daphne:

Daphne: Yeah, don't think about that too hard.

---

Daphne: Guys, Theron is missing.

Caelum: Good.

---

Caelum: *screams*

Theron: *screams louder to assert dominance*

Daphne: GUYS WHAT THE HELL

Daphne: IT'S 2 IN THE MORNING

---

Theron: So don't panic but one of us is possessed by an owl.

Caelum:

Azalea:

Daphne: Who?

Theron: That's the thing, we don't-

*everyone stares at Daphne*

---

Azalea: Do you always have to attack me with your words?

Daphne: Would you prefer me to use a brick?

---

Caelum: Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and...

Theron: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.

Azalea: Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said...

Daphne: You might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies.

---

Azalea: Can I have some water?

Daphne: *starts chugging her water bottle*

Daphne: *chokes from drinking too fast*

Daphne: *spills water all over herself*

Daphne, coughing: I don't have any water.

---

Theron: *closes a cabinet*

*a crash is heard behind the cabinet door*

Daphne: What was that?

Theron: The sound of someone else's problem.

---

Daphne: You guys worried about Theron?

Azalea: Totally!

Caelum: Yeah, he called me in the middle of the night and just yelled, "what do I do, what do I do, what do I do, what do I do?"

Daphne: And what'd you say?

Caelum: "I dunno, I dunno, I dunno, I dunno."

Azalea:

Daphne: He's lucky to have you as a friend.

---

Daphne: Aww, what's your dog's name?

Caelum: Cookie.

Daphne, yelling to Azalea: TRY COOKIE!

Azalea, on the computer: DIDN'T WORK!

Caelum:

Daphne: What's your favorite number?

---

Iskra: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them?

Theia, watching Theron screaming, Daphne trying to set a sleeping Azalea on fire, and Caelum choking on air: I don't know either.

---

Caelum, when Daphne walks in: Oh, hey, I'm just making pizza.

Caelum: *accidentally smacks Theron in the face with the baking sheet*

---

Daphne: Who's Theron to you?

Caelum: The reason I wake up in the morning.

Daphne: Aw, cute!

Theron, earlier that morning, storming through Caelum's room and hitting a pot lid with a stick: GOOOOOOD MORNING!! TIME TO WAKE UP! IT'S MORNING TIME, THE TIME TO WAKE UP! WAKE UP!!

---

Caelum: Please say words of encouragement to me so I don't murder someone right now.

Daphne: There are no books in prison.

Caelum: *sighs* Thank you.

---

Azalea: Can we go to a haunted house?

Daphne: What's wrong with the one you live in?

Azalea: Wh-what?

Daphne: Goodnight, Azalea.

---

Theron: honk.

Caelum: WHAT.

Theron: HONK.

Caelum: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF-

---

Theia: Where's Theron?

Caelum: Around.

Theia: Around?

Theia: You don't have any idea, do you?

Theron, dropping down from above: Did you know there's a space above the ceiling?

---

Caelum: I cannot believe I let you talk me into this.

Daphne: I literally said "I have an idea," and you just went along with it without question.

---

Theia: Alright, what pizza toppings should we order?

Caelum: Anchovies and pineapple.

Daphne: I like beets!

Theron: Have you guys ever had a cheese-less pizza?

Theia: I'm disowning all of you.

---

Caelum, texting Daphne: *sends a voice message*

Daphne, texting back: I'm a little busy, is it urgent?

Caelum: No, don't worry, just listen later.

*later*

Daphne: *presses play*

Caelum's voice message: THERE'S A FIRE-

---

next chapter is part 2 of this insanity because I have no self control :DDD