━━･❪ 🌸 ❫ ･━━

Daphne awoke to a terrible headache, even worse than the time she'd tumbled from the roof of the family barn one night playing hide and seek with Aedon.

"Daphne?" A voice pierced the fog in her mind. "Daphne- oh thank goodness. You've been passed out for hours. I swear, every day is going to be like this: one of us clocks out for some reason or another."

A hand was squeezing hers, she realized. As her vision stabilized, the blurry blob leaning over her morphed slowly into Caelum's face, twin sparks of green gazing down at her with a mixture of relief and concern. His cheeks were damp and flushed as if he'd been crying.

"Caelum- what happened?" Daphne winced as she sat up against the wall, her head pounding. Sunlight filtered in through the window, looking like late afternoon. "One moment, this thing slammed me against the side of the house and was reaching for my face, then now I'm here."

Caelum's brows furrowed. "You don't remember anything, do you?"

"No- why, what did I do?"

"I think the Gamemakers sent Cortex mutts after us." Caelum said. "I remember reading about them once. They can possess people to do their bidding, hence the name 'Cortex' after the part of the brain that they hijack."

Daphne blinked. This was not helping her headache. "I was possessed?"

"Did you attack me on your free will?"

"I attacked you??"

"Just try not to think about it," Caelum quickly jumped in. "Think about this instead: the Cortexes weren't just random mutts. The Gamemakers took the corpses of Theron and Azalea and reanimated them in a way, turning them into Cortexes. They were the ones who attacked us. Azalea possessed you."

Panic momentarily cleared Daphne's head. "Theron and Azalea are alive? Where are they?"

"Don't worry, I killed them." Caelum said, handing Daphne the water bottle from the supply bag to drink. "They're gone now. No need to be concerned about the undead creeping around to possess us."

Daphne's mind was reeling. The Gamemakers had brought Theron and Azalea back to life, and sent them to attack Daphne and Caelum. Was that even possible? And Azalea had possessed Daphne? Made her nearly kill Caelum?

Daphne blinked at him. There was a tear in his vest and shirt by his collar, revealing a thin red cut. He had long scratch marks across his cheek, looking as if they'd been made by claws. Purple bruises dotted his face, paired with scabbed skin here and there. It was obvious he had taken a beating. Had she put those bruises there?

"Caelum, I'm so sorry-"

"No," Caelum's voice was thick. He shook his head fiercely. "No, I'm sorry. It's my fault, it's all my fault."

Daphne's headache was slowly beginning to recede as she sipped water from the bottle, swishing it around in her mouth. She tilted her head in confusion. "How is the Cortex attack your fault?"

"No, not that." Caelum's eyes were fixed on her. They weren't fleeting, darting like startled minnows as they'd used to every time he was around her. His face was twisted with unreadable emotion. "I'm sorry, for everything."

Daphne felt it then; that thing that she'd sensed earlier. The feeling of something being held back, kept like a fragile lake in a dam made of the strongest stone. That dam was cracking now, the stable foundation so carefully crafted finally beginning to weaken. Daphne sensed it, sensed it as a distressed Caelum dragged his hands through his rumpled hair. If he'd been standing, he'd be pacing the soles of his boots off by how upset he seemed.

"It's all my fault," He repeated, his voice strained and quiet. His green eyes gleamed with fresh tears. "How I reacted, how I've treated you for the past year, just because I was so damn scared-"

"Wait," Daphne's chest was beginning to tighten, her heart beginning to race. "Wait, what are you talking about?"

Caelum exhaled, a single teardrop escaping the corner of his left eye. "You, Daphne. Us."

A pang struck Daphne then, reverberating through her body like a gong. So this was what he was talking about. Them. The thing that had haunted her for so damn long.

Her heart thudded loudly in her chest, and she suddenly found it hard to breathe.

"Us?" She whispered, the word feeling strange on her tongue.

"I owe you so much, Daphne," Caelum said, taking her hands into his. His fingers were quivering and slightly calloused from archery. "One of which is an explanation."

Daphne stared. All she could do was stare. It was a strange feeling, having words abandon her. She was used to being able to snap a quick response. Speechlessness had finally caught up to her.

"I need you to listen to me," Caelum pleaded. "I need you to hear me out on this one thing, and then you can react. Beat me up, stab me, whatever. I just need you to hear this, and know this."

Daphne nodded numbly.

Caelum took a deep breath, as if to compose himself. "You know my sister Ara, right?"

Daphne swallowed. Of course she knew Ara. Ara had come to Daphne begging for Caelum's protection during the visiting hour before everything had gone to hell.

Caelum continued, his voice unsteady. "Four years ago, she had a girlfriend. She was in love. Deeply in love. Jade was her world, her reason for waking up every morning, for living and breathing and working hard in hopes of one day moving out with her." Caelum chuckled slightly at the memory. "I remember she used to joke that she loved Jade more than she loved me, her annoying little brother. Thinking back on it, I wouldn't be surprised if she actually wasn't joking.

"That year, Jade was reaped. She and Ara were both eighteen. They were one year away from safety, one year away from being out of the threat of the Games, free to live their lives together. They fell one year short. Jade was one of the first killed in the Bloodbath.

"Ara was devastated. Absolutely devastated. She locked herself in her room upstairs for months on end, and all I could hear were these horrible sobs from the other side. Many times, when Mom and Dad were at work, it was me who had to break her door open to wrestle the kitchen knife out of her hands, or to take down the rope she'd made for herself by tying all her clothes together. You know that thick scar across her forehead? That was from a time I was too late to stop her from falling out of her window.

"Love wrecked her, Daphne. She tries, but I know she will never be the same after losing Jade. It was then I realized that love was dangerous as long as the Games still hung over our heads. Ara didn't think that Jade would be chosen, but she was. Anybody could be. Looking at Ara, the shell of who she was before, it's all because she let herself love under the shadow of the Games. It was hands-down the worst thing I've witnessed in my life.

"I couldn't bear to put myself through the pain that Ara went through, and will possibly never get out of. I was only thirteen, but I swore that I wouldn't let myself feel anything for anyone until my nineteenth birthday."

He paused with a weak chuckle, the edge of his lip quirking the slightest bit. "And then you came along, Daphne. You made it so, so hard to keep that swear.

"Thirteen was the age that I realized a lot of things... including how I felt about you. You and your energy, your infectious smile, the way you always seem to find your own special way to do things. You are everything that I wish I could be, and I love that. It was fine, at first, to keep my feelings suppressed below the surface, to be content in admiring you from a distance while I sat and read.

"And then Azalea brought it to my attention that you... cared for me. Frankly, it freaked me out. I have no excuse other than I was too scared to risk the pain. I didn't want either of us to end up like Ara, who's been like a ghost these past four years. So I turned cold. I forced myself to be dead inside around you. I couldn't let myself become attached. I pushed you away in hopes that our feelings might fade, for both our sakes. I was stupid enough to think it would work."

Tears were streaming freely down Caelum's face now. His nails dug so deep into his palms that they began to bleed. All Daphne could do was stare.

She'd dreamt of the day Caelum would admit he reciprocated her feelings, no matter how far-fetched the idea had been up until a couple minutes ago. She'd imagined she would feel giddy, bursting with happiness and ecstasy. And deep down, far in the corners of her heart, there was a mini Daphne bouncing around shrieking with delight.

However, something didn't quite sit well with normal-sized Daphne.

"Well, congratulations," she spat with surprising bitterness. "All that pretending to be dead inside just in case one of us were to be reaped, yet here we are. Sitting in the Hunger Games arena. Both of us."

Caelum opened his mouth to say something, but Daphne kept going. "Was it all worth it, Caelum? Making me think something was wrong with me, like you would rather jump off a cliff than be with me? Was it worth it, pushing me away when we both could've been just fine, only for both of us to end up in this damned arena anyways?

"You spent all these years focusing on the negative. What would happen on the slim chance that one of us were to be reaped. Both of us suffered because you were too damn scared, Caelum. And now look at us!" She gestured wildly to their surroundings. "Now we're stuck here. You should've enjoyed me when you had me, back home where we were both safe and happy. You would rather protect yourself, hurting me in the process, than take advantage of the good memories we could've had."

Never before had Caelum looked so small and defenseless. She could hurt him in so many ways in that moment, and she knew he would let her. But it would've brought her no joy. Daphne pushed herself to her feet, fighting the wave of nausea that had her stumbling against the wall for support.

"I need to clear my head," she muttered, stalking out of the kitchen and across to the front door. She slammed the door hard on her way out.

***

It took everything in Caelum not to spring after Daphne as she walked away, to grab her by the hand and beg her to stay.

He'd told her. Told her everything.

Everything.

What have I done?

He wrapped his arms around himself, feeling hollower than he had in a long, long time.

What the hell have I done?

***

The sun was almost finished setting by the time Daphne completed her stroll around the neighborhood, which included several kicked-over rocks and a smashed tree branch or two. The clear air blowing in from the sea helped calm the storm brewing inside her as she walked, staring out at the rolling waves. It was a big reason why she'd insisted on setting up camp in that particular house, because of the seaside view. She tracked along the gravel path carved beside the black, lava-like rocks that the waves lapped gently against.

Once, she brushed her hand across her forehead to clear a stray strand of hair, only to find the skin completely numb to the touch. A quick examination of her reflection on the water's ripping surface revealed a line of stitches bordering her eyebrow, sealing together a cut.

She remembered hitting her head after being flung aside like a ragdoll before passing out. It must've been Azalea who'd done it, she knew now.

Good. I deserve the pain.

Caelum had probably been the one to stitch her up. Him and his sweet, guarded little heart. Daphne picked up a stone and flung it into the water, shattering her reflection.

She eventually stumbled across a low, scrubby tree sprouting pomegranates as she made her way back, stopping to pick an especially large one. By the time she returned to the house, all the anger and bitterness within had fizzled away. Now, all she felt was a deep emptiness. A void she needed to fill.

But first, there was something she'd been longing to do for a while now.

She eased the door open as silently as she could, hoping she could get in without alerting Caelum. She heard him rustling around in the kitchen, hidden from view by the stairs. She slowly crept up those stairs, making sure her boots made no sound. After all, she'd had plenty of practice being silent while sneaking out of the house past nightfall without Esther or Rourke's knowledge.

The second floor of the house was layered with broken wood from the collapsed roof, but the floorboards seemed to be holding up just fine. Daphne cleared aside an empty area, sitting with her legs crossed as she tilted her head up towards the night sky.

The stars in the arena were artificial, she'd known that since day one. She couldn't pick out any of her familiar constellations among the twinkling dots up above, but just having any stars to look at whatsoever brought her a refreshing sense of peace. It made all her problems feel comically small, so insignificant in the grand scheme of things.

The memoriam briefly interrupted her stargazing. Two tributes had died today, though none of them she knew. That meant only six were left still prowling the arena, including Caelum and her. She knew Glory and her Career buddy were still alive. The only others she hadn't seen up in the memoriam yet were Sylla and Lua.

Great, Daphne rolled her eyes, the other four alive all rather dislike me.

Daphne sliced her pomegranate in half, digging out the seeds. They looked like little bubbles of blood, she noticed as she popped them into her mouth. They certainly tasted a lot better than blood, however.

There came a noise climbing up the stairs, from footsteps she would recognize anywhere. Her gaze shifted from the stars down to Caelum's face as he took a seat soundlessly beside her, equally as beautiful as the little lights overhead.

"Did you really think you could sneak back into the house without me noticing?" He teased, a small smile tugged across his lips.

"One can try," Daphne smirked. She offered him half of her pomegranate. They sat in silence for a while, snacking on seeds and watching the stars above.

Picking out the last of her pomegranate seeds, Daphne sighed. "Caelum, I'm sorry."

"No," he immediately shook his head. "You were right. I should've enjoyed what we could've had. I guess it took both of us being thrown into a battle to the death for me to get my head out of my ass and realize that."

"But it's completely understandable," Daphne said. "After what you went through with Ara, seeing her so destroyed like that because of love, how could you not want to protect yourself from that kind of pain?"

"But now," tears glimmered in his green eyes. "Now, we don't have much time. We could've had more."

"Stop," Daphne insisted, turning to face him. "Accept my apology, Caelum. I won't be happy unless I know you know how horrible I feel for going off on you like that. I was too focused on my own pain to realize that what you did–swearing off love and pushing me away–was what I would've done too if I were in your place. I had no right to tell you to act differently. So please, I am so sorry."

There was a gentleness in his eyes as he observed her, a gentleness that thawed Daphne's frigid heart. "I accept your apology, but only if you accept mine. Pushing you away was the worst decision of my life. If I could go back in time to fix anything, anything, it would be that. I would lay down my life for you, Daphne Feng. You can beat me unconscious, stab me in the chest, tear my wicked heart to shreds and I would die a happy man knowing that your beautiful face would be the last I see. I was young and dumb, and now I realize I must take advantage of the little time we have left. So if you're ready... I think I am as well."

Daphne knew in that moment why she had fallen for this quiet boy ever since she was eleven years old. His unfiltered honesty, the way he expressed his passions and desires through beautiful words that nobody else could've possibly thought to say. The way he loved so fiercely, whether it be for his unwell sister, the pages of a novel, the art of archery. She'd always noticed it, seen his devotion to those he cherished since day one.

So she didn't beat him unconscious. She didn't stab him in the chest. She didn't tear his heart to shreds.

She pulled him close.

She kissed him.

And down below, in the bushes by the front porch, a single white rose blossomed to life.

━━･❪ 🌸 ❫ ･━━