OLDER.
━━━━━━ threat of joy

Most people don't dwell on their first memory. Whether people cannot recall what theirs was, or if it was too insignificant for them to waste time pondering over it, Alys will never know. She often went around the castle asking whoever crossed her path what their first memory was, wishing to find someone who fixated on theirs like the young girl did for herself. But all she ever got in response was non answers. Phrases such as "I don't remember" or "Not sure" or "It doesn't matter." Every one making the child feel more isolated than she already was, because the girl could remember hers.

She couldn't forget it if she tried.

"You killed mother," a voice whispered. "You ripped her open and stole her away from me." Alys couldn't pick out the surroundings, what colors were present, what objects hung on the walls, what background noise interfered, but she could remember the words. "I wish you were never born."

Of course, at the time, the girl didn't know what they meant. Didn't understand the vile being whispered to her in the dark as she tried to sleep. Didn't know any better to not believe them when she did learn. How old had she been? How many name days had she celebrated before the snake started to poison her mind? Alys would never know those details, but she knew the words, and she knew the person, and that was enough to fill her heart with sorrow.

Even though they never spoke of it out loud, Alys knew that her sister was the one feeding her poison. Knew that Alicent had been angry for a very long time, and no matter how much older Alys got, that would never change. She may not sneak into her chambers in the shadows anymore, may not spew those exact words anymore, but Alicent hated her little sister with every particle in her body that was not busy hating somebody else.

It took a long time for the young girl to come to terms with this. Many lessons of Alys asking the Maesters whether she killed her mother, many gasps of horror and lectures on where she had heard such a thing, many reassurances that it wasn't true. Years of confusion and hurt, her mind not being able to comprehend the idea of her own flesh and blood wanting her to cease existing, too young to know of the pains of the world. So Alys did the only thing she knew how to do, and believe what was told to her.

She killed her mother. Caused so many complications that the women bled out the day she came into the world. But the girl also came to terms that it was not her fault. What was she to do as a screaming crying babe? She did not choose to hurt anyone. She hadn't hurt anyone since. She would like to believe that she was a good person regardless of what her life had caused.

Though she doesn't like to admit it, she wasn't able to fully convince herself. No, it wasn't until she confided in her first friend she had ever made that she began to truly, honestly, believe that her mother would forgive her even when others couldn't. She remembers crying in one of the courtyards, overwhelmed with anguish at something her sister had said to her, but the sound of footsteps walking up to her was enough to distract her for a moment, no matter how brief.

"Are you sad because of your mother?" A boy asked.

"Yes," she had whispered. "She's no longer here because of me."

The dark haired boy had slowly sat down, back against the rough warped wood of the tree, and looked at her. He wasn't angry at her, not like her sister was, not judgmental or bitter. He just looked at her crying and gave her his hand to hold. "Even if that's true, you should know that your mother would be happy you're alive and well. She brought you into this word. She wouldn't want you to cry."

It was the feeling of his warm hand on hers, the sun beating down in rays, the leaves above them blowing in the breeze, tears slowly drying on her face. That's what she recalls when her fractured heart gained a little peace and quiet.

That's when she had met Jacaerys Velaryon.

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

Though Alys would never admit it, from that day forward she had sought out the boys company. Whenever her nephews hounded her, she would brush it off as chance encounters. Her and the young boy were around the same age, they were bound to cross paths. They lived in the same castle, it wasn't her fault that they occasionally shared the same lessons, or saw one another during feasts. Their families were intertwined, after all. It took only a few days for Alys to learn of his name, and who his family was. In hindsight, it seemed a little invasive, but the young girl didn't know any better. The only thing on her mind was the hopes of seeing him again, and the chance of finally, after all these years, making a friend, was enough to throw aside caution and approach the small prince whenever she had the chance.

Jacaerys never questioned the sudden appearance of the girl either, welcomed it even. He had known who she was when he approached her in the courtyard, but had never been given much of a chance to speak to her due to the girls nature of keeping to herself. But seeing the girls tears run down her cheeks, slowly dropping onto the light fabric of her dress, darkening it with the evidence of the grief running through her veins, he couldn't just leave her there. It simply just wasn't in his nature. And so from then on, a friendship started to bloom between them.

Their relationship started off simple. Moments of greetings in their shared hallways and common rooms, seats now placed next to each other during overlapping lessons, even short walks on the grounds of the Red Keep if they had happened to run into one another. Alys couldn't quite name exactly when it became more than that, but their pleasant friendship had quickly conspired into something neither of them had anticipated. Only a few weeks had passed by them, but a few friendly conversations every other day turned into multiple times a day, which then turned into the children seeking out one another whenever possible.

And then suddenly Alys Hightower couldn't even begin to fathom a day without Jacaerys.

Growing up in Kings Landing, her sister had made the girl feel beyond unwanted. Treating her like an illness that would spread if she was around for too long, Alys became accustomed to Alicent wanting nothing to do with her. The longest amount of time she was ever in her presence was when the young girl was with her older brother, Gwayne, who Alicent adored. Her brother hadn't ended their mothers life, the women was alive and smitten after the birth of Gwayne, there was no reason for Alicent to harbor any bitterness toward him. Most would expect her to feel jealousy toward her brother, but Alys had decided that she wouldn't let her sister create any animosity between the two, and would bare through the hardships and quick quips while she was with him.

Gwayne always told her not to think too deeply into it, and he always found a way to distract her after any confrontation he witnessed, but it was Jacaerys that always knew what to say. The boy was much too smart for his youth, but Alys didn't mind if it meant he knew exactly how to cheer her up.

Part of Alys felt like her struggles were beneath him. Why would a prince bother trying to make her feel better when he had many things to learn if he was to be future king? But after a while Alys hardly had to seek him out anymore, he simply was just always there when she needed a friend. He chose to be around the girl, day in and day out, and that was more than Alys could have ever hoped for.

When Alicent made her feel small, Jacaerys made sure to lift her up. He stopped her from sinking back into the devouring void that liked to rise within her, willing it away with every laugh, every smile, every story, and every game. When ice threatened to smooth over her aching heart, he was there showing the girl Vermax, his dragon that breathed fire hot enough to melt every dark, withering thought inside of her. Jacaerys made sure she was the best person she could possibly be.

That boy threatened to fill her with so much joy she hardly knew how to contain herself.

Unfortunately, the joy she felt emanated all around the girl. When she was with her friend, others swore she was practically glowing, and it was that knowledge that sent Alicent in a spiral. The summons was enough to fill the child with dread, but it was her sisters words that cut her deep, knife carving and hollowing out any possible feeling of happiness left in her bones.

"You are to stay away from Prince Jacaerys," Alicent ordered.

The cold leeched into her skin, clawing and tightening around her to the point she struggled to breathe. How could she possibly be this cruel? So casually saying the words that left Alys with a hole in her chest.

"For what reason?" Alys managed to ask. Never had she questioned her sisters authority. With her mother taken by the Stranger, and her father removed as Hand and sent back to their home in Oldtown, Alicent was her charge. She did whatever was asked of her, took everything that was spat at her. But this? No. Alicent would not take this, the girl would not let her.

"The Velaryons are a blight on our family. I will not have my own sister mingling with them, especially the prince. We do not associate ourselves with his kind," Alicent persisted.

The young girl couldn't tell which words shook her more, the fact Alicent had acknowledged her as kin, or what she could possibly be referring to when mentioning Jacaerys kind. "And what do you mean by that, may I ask?" Alys questioned, her voice bigger than before.

"You know what I am referring to, the entire court does. You're a smart child, Alys, I will not explain it to you. I am giving you an order, and as Your Queen, you will obey."

If it had been anyone else, Alys would back down. There were already many issues between the two sisters, the girl hardly wanted any more, but the fact that it was Jacaerys, the boy who had become her best friend in such a short amount of time, had the girl speaking words she doubted her sister was aware she knew the meaning of.

"No, I will not. And you are to never ask this of me again," Alys stated with her head held high.

Alicent opened her mouth, undoubtedly about to say things that would leave the girl crying for days, but Alys wasn't finished. "And if you ever speak of this manner again, I will go pay a visit to His Grace, and inform him that his wife is spreading foul rumors of his grandsons not being of true lineage. I will tell him that you willed me away from Jacaerys Velaryon, who is in the line of succession to inherit the Iron Throne, on the terms that he is a bastard, which in hand means that you have committed treason."

Alys had never seen Alicent Hightower as she saw her then. Unable to find words, pale, and for once, small. A shift across the room came from her sisters sworn protector, Ser Criston Cole, but he made no move toward the girl, seemingly knowing how fragile this conversation had become.

"You wouldn't," Alicent finally settled on.

"You have made my life miserable from the moment our mother took her last breath. And in the one thing, the one person, who I find happiness in, you wish to take away too. If you do not see it in me to do as I say, then I shall take my leave. I guess we will find out whether I speak the truth or not," Alys said, her fingernails cutting crescents into her palms.

Another moment of silence passed between the two siblings before Alicent swiftly turned away from the young girl, stiff in the back in a way no royalty ever should be. "You are the bane of my existence, Alys Hightower. I pray to the Seven Gods every morning that I am rid of you."

Alys would be haunted by her sisters words for a very, very long time, but she had stood up for herself, and in turn she received the gift of being able to continue her friendship that she could no longer see herself without. It was then that the girl realized she would do anything for Jacaerys, and the girl hoped he would do the same for her.

VANNA SPEAKS!
━━━━━━ hello! here is the first chapter of OLDER, it's a whole lot of backstory so i apologize but next chapter will be set in episode six and we will see much much more of jace and alys. i'm super excited for this story and hope you guys enjoyed this little glimpse.
━━━━━━ in this chapter alys and jace are 10, next chapter is set in episode 6 where i will age them to 12, and after the time skip they will be 18.
━━━━━━ a warning to all readers though that this is my first game of thrones universe fanfic, and so i am still learning all the phrases and wording. i am not used to writing different time periods so please be patient with me! if i make a mistake please kindly let me know! thank you to everyone reading <3

me reading fire and blood fully knowing i'm not gonna be accepting canon whatsoever: