||

k a y l a n i

billie and i have been texting everyday since monday. juliana doesn't know her and i were texting and neither did kylie. i mean, did i have to tell them i was texting billie? she did say she was going to put her feelings aside for me and we would be friends and she texted me the same way a friend would.

do lesbians really catch feelings that fast though?

i learned so much about billie in five days.

she hated the color blue but she has dyed her hair blue about twice. like a light shade of blue and than a more vibrant blue. she's vegan and the thought of people killing animals and eating them just made her sick to her stomach and she told me she has a dog named pepper. she has an older brother named finneas who's into music who she lives with and she told me she didn't live with her parents because they didn't approve of her tattoos, piercings and her outfit choices and that they gave birth to a girl for a reason. she also told me she started getting tattoos at 16 and couldn't stop and then got her nose pierced at 17. also learned that she's turning 18 on december 18th and she told me she doesn't know what college she wants to go to.

i listened to her carefully. she would tell me more serious things over the phone then on text and i would just listen to her talk. she had a calm and smooth voice and sometimes she would think i'm sleeping by how quiet i would be, but honestly i'm really just a good listener.

funniest story she told me was about her first kiss. i think i laughed for ten minutes and she just looked at me with a straight face.

i told her some things about me but i never went in depth with the deep things because honestly, there was nothing really deep about me but one thing that i didn't want anybody to know but my moms, kylie and juliana and i knew billie but i barely knew her to the extent where i could trust her with this information.

she respected it. just like i respected her when she didn't tell me certain things.

we connected deeply on another level and when we had our talks, i couldn't help but feel warmth in my heart whenever i heard her laugh or seen her smile on the screen.

i didn't know what the feeling was, but i knew i didn't want it.

billie was completely different around kylie, juliana and i. she claimed us as her only real friends and we accepted it. she was more free with us, but between us three, she told me she was more herself around me and i honestly felt like i was betraying kylie because billie was her best friend and not mine.

but billie to other people, she was intimidating. she just had an 'i don't give a fuck' type of energy and people was scared of her of course because she had such power which was crazy, honestly.

i would notice that her eyes got lighter when she was happy, and got a little darker when she just normal but when she was mad, like the day those guys tried hitting on me, i noticed her eyes got black.

but, i couldn't explain the shade it turned the first time she saw me and i was in booty shorts and a tube top.

tonight was the night of the party and to be honest, i've never went to a high school party, that was never my scene.

i liked staying inside, ordering takeout and binge watching shows, while juliana laid down right next to me, kylie was out partying, my mother was being an amazing doctor and my mom was being an amazing model.

so, i was nervous. so don't judge me. please.

"fuck i don't know what to wear!" i yelled out in anger as i looked through all my clothes.

what does one wear to a party?

"kaylani lynn! why are you swearing in this house?" i heard my mother say as she came into my room.

she had a day off today and so did my mom so i knew exactly what they were going to do when kylie and i left.

mentally gags.

"ma, i don't know what to wear," i groaned out, jumping on the big bean bag next to my closet.

i heard her chuckle and she closed the door behind her and walked towards the closet.

"lani, you have so many clothes and you don't know what to wear? seriously?" she said and i just shrugged.

"i've never been to a party like this, so no i don't know what to wear," i told her.

"you can wear anything!" she said and i rolled my eyes.

my phone began ringing, telling me somebody was calling me. i jumped up and walked towards my bed and saw billie's contact name and she was facetiming me.

i picked up the call and she had a smile on her face while i had a frown.

"hey miss jackson," she greeted me and i felt my mom's eyes on me when she heard the familiar voice.

"i don't know what to wear", i whined and she just chuckled.

"it's warm tonight, so just wear some shorts with a cute crop top and one of your designer ass shoes and hurry the fuck up because party starts in thirty and i'm about to go pick up juliana first," billie spoke.

my mom began looking through my closet looking for the exact outfit billie said.

"okay, let me know when you're here," i said to her and she nodded her head and then she hung up the phone.

"talking to billie now hmm?" my mother said, looking through my shorts and i gave her a death glare even though she couldn't see me. "i can feel you glaring, i was just asking a question,"

"can we not," i groaned out.

i walked to my closet and began looking through the crop tops and then i smiled when i found the right one about five minutes later and then my mom showed me a pair of shorts and i nodded my head and she began looking through my shoes that would go great with my outfit.

i already took a shower an hour ago so i didn't have to worry about taking a quick shower before billie got here.

after a lot of searching, my mom and i picked out an outfit.

it was a white crop top that said "dior addict" in red with light blue shorts that i attached chains to and let it dangle and i paired it off with my black, white and red 1's with my nike socks and the nike sign was red and i wore a silver necklace that matched the chains that were on my shorts. for my hair, i let it out like usual but i fluffed it a little and i went barefaced and just put eyelashes and lip glosses.

"i think i should pick out your outfits more often," my mother told me as she looked at our final masterpiece and i laughed. "have fun at the party. no drinking, no drugs and make sure you're not alone, understand?"

i nodded my head and then she kissed my forehead and left my room.

i waited a few minutes before i heard billie pull up and on cue, kylie bursted through my room door and told me billie was here.

i grabbed my dior purse since my shirt said "dior addict" and i put my essentials in my purse and i sprayed perfume on me again and i grabbed my phone and keys.

kylie and i said bye to our moms and then we left out the door and there was billie standing outside, pressed against her car and had both of her arms on top of her car.

she was wearing a red shirt with a white playboy bunny logo in front of it, black and red shorts and also had black, white and red 1's but the colors were in different spaces, if you know what i mean and then she had a black beanie on that only showed her black part of her hair and goddamn if she only had black hair she would look so sexy.

kaylani why are you thinking like this? stop.

billie pulled kylie into a hug and she smiled so big once it was my turn to give her a hug. she pulled me into a big hug and our height difference was crazy so i literally reached up to her chest.

"hi princess," she greeted me.

"hi billie," i greeted back and i pulled back from the hug. "why you gotta copy me with my shoe color and brand though?"

"i was ready before you, so you copied me," she told me and i rolled my eyes.

"hurry up and get y'all asses in the car!" juliana yelled, sticking her head out the window.

we laughed and i sat in the backseat with juliana while kylie sat in the passenger seat.

billie drove carelessly in the dark to where the party was and the streets weren't that busy, surprisingly, but i did see everybody's head turn at the sound of billie's car engine when she sped down the street.

"where do you live bil?" i asked her.

"highland park. thirty minutes away from beverly hills. i drive about forty minutes to school everyday," she responded and my eyes widened. "i like driving though. sometimes when i'm angry in the morning it takes me twenty five minutes to get to school instead of forty minutes,"

"you're always angry in the morning though," kylie said.

"exactly," billie said to her with a wink and i cracked a smile.

the rest of the car drive, juliana told me about her texting the chipotle guy she met on monday and how he was so sweet to her and she's never been excited to talk about a guy like this.

and then a few minutes later, billie pulled up to the party and you can hear the music from inside. people were outside, drinking, smoking, kissing and dancing on each other.

billie found a park and then we all got out of the car and the green haired girl didn't waste no time getting next to me and wrapping her arms around my waist and then we walked inside and the music was way louder and the smell of weed instantly hit our noses.

i looked at billie and she seemed to have a smile on her face. of course she liked the smell of weed, why wouldn't she? i never once in my life smoked or drank and i don't plan on it anytime soon.

"we're staying with each other at all times, okay?" billie yelled over the music and we all nodded.

her grip on my waist became a little tighter as we got deeper into the house and there was a lot of people and the smell of weed just became stronger.

"it stinks," i groaned out, scrunching my nose in disgust.

"smells delicious," billie said with a smile and i looked at her with a disgusted face and she smiled at me and placed a kiss on my forehead.

there was a couch that was empty and juliana and kylie rushed over there and sat down and then there was only one spot left.

before i could even say anything, billie sat down and pulled me on to her lap and i felt my cheeks turn crimson red. kylie and juliana was dancing, vibing to the song and of course they were playing old school music.

"boyyyy i been watching you like a hawk in the sky," juliana sang.

"who sings this song?" i asked her and she looked at me like i was dumb.

"aaliyah bitch. are you dumb?"

"keep it that way," i joked with her and she rolled her eyes jokingly.

unintentionally, i began rolling my hips to the music, forgetting i'm sitting on billie's lap and then she gripped my waist that stopped my movement and then that's when i remembered i was sitting on billie and not the couch.

"sorry," i whispered to her and turned my head to look back at her.

"it's fine," she responded and her voice seemed to get raspier and a bit deeper.

juliana and kylie were just hugging and touching on each other and if i didn't know them, they would look like a lesbian couple.

the song stopped and then kylie's and i favorite song 'can't get enough' by j cole began playing.

she looked at me and grabbed my hand making me get up and then juliana grabbed billie's and we made our way to the floor.

kylie and i loved j cole. i mean honestly who didn't? he goes crazy and he spits. he speaks about real problems, doesn't always talk about ass and fucking and money and people look at his music wrong.

we kept dancing to the song, all four of us. and of course kylie and i knew the whole lyrics to the song. as the song was getting to an end, i felt thirsty and i couldn't dance any more.

"i'm boutta go get a water, y'all want any?" i asked them over the music.

"gimme one," billie responded and i nodded my head.

kylie and juliana ignored me so i didn't bother asking them again. i told them to stay there and then i made my way out of the crowd and into the kitchen.

i walked to the fridge and i opened it and grabbed two water bottles. one for billie and one for me since the other two didn't say anything, so sucks to suck.

as i bent down to grab the water bottles, i felt a presence behind me. i quickly got up, shut the fridge and i turned around and my eyes met a black shirt and when i looked up, i was met with a familiar face i haven't seen in a while.

"hi kaylani. miss me?" he asked me with a smirk on his face.

"nathaniel .. "

"hi princess," he greeted me again with that same smirk he always wore on his face.

"i- don't. don't call me that," i stuttered.

"why're you so shy around me now huh?" he asked me, getting closer to me and i shook my head.

i tried walking away but he grabbed my arms and pushed me against the fridge and he pressed his body against mine and at this point i felt so small and so fragile compared to him and it scared me. nobody around seemed to notice this and i wanted to scream but i hated when everybody's attention was on me.

"i asked you a fucking question," he snapped.

"please," i begged, my voice shaky.

i felt my eyesight getting blurry. of course i was about to cry at this point, i'm such a fucking crybaby.

"oh baby," he cooed, bringing his left hand up and putting my hair behind my ears and he grabbed the back of my neck forcefully. "you didn't tell anybody about last summer did you kaylani?"

i shook my head in fear and a tear slipped down my face and brung my free hand to my face to wipe it, but instead he grabbed both of my arms with one hand and held it against my body tightly while the other one was still holding the back of my neck.

"look how much of a crybaby you are? are you seriously crying because of this?" he chuckled. "i thought you liked it rough like this,"

"stop, please," i begged.

"if you tell anybody about last summer kaylani," he started and then brought his lips to my ears. "i'll fucking kill you,"

and then he gave me a hard push and he walked away.

i sped walked out of the kitchen quickly with the two water bottles in my hand and i wiped the tears that fell down from face and then i reached the three i came with.

"thank you i was so th–"

"–i wanna go home," i told billie and handed her the water bottle forcefully.

"what? why?" kylie asked.

"you can stay here i just wanna go home," i said, tears falling down my face and they all looked at me with confusion.

"what happened kaylani?" juli asked.

"please," i begged.

the room started becoming hotter and my breath quickened. billie noticed and she grabbed me and wrapped her arms around my waist. she said some things to juliana and kylie and then she led me out of the house and then to her car.

as soon as i got in the passenger seat, i started crying. tears falling down my face quickly and breathing seemed to be hard for me. billie quickly sat in the drivers seat and she grabbed my face and looked into my eyes like the first time i had my panic attack.

"breathe lani. breathe with me," she said softly.

i tried copying her breathing but i couldn't so i got frustrated and threw my water bottle against the window.

"hey, hey, it's okay, it's okay," billie cooed and she grabbed me and pulled me into her lap. i buried my head against her chest and i began crying harder but my breathing got better since my ears were pressed up against her chest and i started copying her breathing. "i'm here, it's okay. you're okay kaylani, i'm here,"

and she just held me as i cried in her arms.

•

poor kaylani :( such a precious baby and with billie caring about her so much makes my heart melt.

what do you guys think about nathaniel ?

thoughts on this chapter?

anyways, let's get to know each other. ima say things about me and i want you guys to respond back okay?

my name is armani.

i'm 18.

i'm 5'3.

i was born february 4th which makes me an aquarius.

my favorite color is yellow.

i'm lesbian asf.

i'm in a relationship. 1 year, 6 months and 17 days.

i live in bronx,new york.

my favorite artists aside from billie are, g herbo, pop smoke, lil baby and the weeknd.

– armani 🦋