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b i l l i e

after kaylani had her panic attack, we baked some cookies, vegan ones for me and we watched halloween and christmas movies.

the rest of the weekend, it was kylie and i and then kaylani and juliana together. kaylani kept her distance from me and i didn't really act surprised because i did make her have a panic attack and i take full fault for that. i should've never tried to kiss her when she didn't even know who i was but just the fact that my name was billie and i was her sister's best friend.

right now, it was 7:20 in the morning and i'm outside waiting for kylie to come outside because she asked me to drive her to school today. they don't really live that far from school and school starts at 8:15 and usually i would like to come pick her up at 7:45 but i don't get why she wants me to come pick her up 25 minutes early.

finally, i see her getting out of the house and of course she's wearing something tight. black ripped jeans with a yellow off shoulder crop top that had long sleeves and it said 'fuck it up buttercup' and she wore black and yellow 1's.

her shoe game was immaculate. better than mine.

"wassup bitch," she greeted me as she got into the passenger seat.

i began driving and she connected her phone to my bluetooth and of course she started playing kehlani in the car. she loved her.

i couldn't help but think about kaylani. i don't know if kylie would be upset with me if i told her the real reason why kaylani had a panic attack. i really liked hanging out with kylie. some people talked shit about her saying she was snobby, and she liked to show off but i think she's really happy that she's fortunate.

but she's different around me. i see the difference between her hanging out with me and then her hanging out with her other weird friends i don't associate myself with.

"kylie?" i spoke up and she hummed in response. "does kaylani only have panic attacks when she's in the dark?"

"no," she responded, putting down the volume of the music in the car. "her panic attacks started happening recently in july,"

"why?"

"that i cannot tell you," she told me and i nodded my head. "she used to be scared of the dark when she was younger but when she got older, it stopped so i got really confused when she had a panic attack because of the darkness in my closet, but it's understandable,"

"that's not why she had a panic attack on friday," i confessed and kylie's head snapped to my direction and i felt my palms getting sweaty. "i..okay, so when we all split up, i ran to your room, i guess that was the first place that came to my mind and i saw the closet so i went in there and she didn't even notice i went in there until i said 'boo' and so when i did, she got scared and i brushed it off and went to go sit down next to her,"

i could just feel kylie's eyes on me and i knew when it came to her sister, she didn't play. so the fact that i was really nervous under her gaze made me more nervous to continue and i ain't want to crash the car.

"and i was just looking at her, because kylie .. your sister is so fucking beautiful. like so so fucking beautiful. and so, i held her face up by her chin and i was just like 'wassup with you ma' and she just asked me what was i doing right," i continued and kylie just hummed. "and i asked her what SHE was doing to me..and then i asked her if i could ki–"

"–billie no!" kylie snapped. "no okay?"

"what?" i asked innocently.

"for fucks sakes, you are NOT kissing my sister or touching her or dating her okay?" she responded harshly. "it's not your fault she had a panic attack though. i mean, it is, but like .. you didn't know. anyways, that doesn't matter. my sister is off limits. kaylani lynn mariah jackson is OFF limits,"

"okay jeez," i said.

from the corner of my eye, i saw her roll her eyes and then she put the music up. as we got closer to school, i looked at kylie who was just typing away on her phone. i reached over to the radio and turned the music down and she gave me a stern look.

"can i still flirt with her?"

"are you serious billie?" she asked me and i shrugged. "i'm being a protective sister for a reason. same reason why she had a panic attack when you asked her if you can kiss her is the same reason why i won't let her date you, or let you flirt with her. i won't let her date anybody any time soon. she's sixteen and plus she's straight, so .. "

"but kylie," i whined. "i don't know how i got so attracted to her in a few hours of knowing her but i did,"

"sucks to suck billie," she told me as i parked the car and she got out angrily because she shut the door hard.

i reached over to massage the car door softly because i knew that hurt my car. i applied chapstick on my lips and then my eyes saw the girl i've been wanting to see ever since i left kylie's house sunday afternoon.

kaylani had her blonde hair out and it looked so good out. she was wearing a spaghetti strapped crop top that had a butterfly in the middle of it with a light blue jean skirt that hugged her body perfectly and her black and white 1's and she paired it off with her big MK purse.

a coincidence that her and kylie were wearing the same shoe brand but different colors.

i was just simply wearing a burgundy sweater with a white tank top under, white sweatpants and my burgundy 12's and of course with my chains and rings.

i noticed juliana wasn't with her and i saw a few boys approach her and my eyebrows furrowed.

i got out the car and began walking to kaylani.

"why you so shy? i'm just asking for your number mama,"

"she's playing hard to get,"

"wanna skip school and y'know? study?"

i got in between kaylani and the boys and i pushed one of the guys back with force and the rest of the boys looked pussy.

"why y'all interrogating her for huh?" i asked angrily and i felt kaylani's hands wrap around my arm.

"you're fucking that?" the tallest one in the group said.

my nose flared in anger and i grabbed him by the collar and slammed him against the wall and he groaned in pain.

"billie stop,"

"watch your fucking mouth before i punch the shit out of you pretty boy," i threatened. "let you and your fuck boy group try and talk to her and say some slick shit, i won't hesitate to beat the shit out of all of y'all,"

"billie let him go. people are staring," kaylani pleaded.

"so, let me see you near her again and there's gonna be problems, you hear me?" i told him, holding his collar tighter and he nodded his head.

i let him go and he quickly walked away with his group and i turned to look at kaylani who looked at me with her beautiful big light blue/green eyes.

"you good?" i asked her and she nodded. "i hate boys like that, what the fuck,"

"you didn't have to do that," she said softly and one of my eyebrows rose. "i'm serious,"

"yes i did," i said to her. "they're disgusting. who the fuck says shit like that?"

"you were causing a scene,"

"i have every right to protect my best friends sister,"

"is it really because i'm kylie's sister?" she asked me and i smiled childishly and shrugged. "you don't know me,"

"so let me get to know you," i said to her, totally ignoring what kylie said to me in the car. "even though your sis–"

"–you talked to kylie about me?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"i told her the real reason why you had a panic attack and she told me you were off limits but i don't give a shit," i responded.

"billie no," kaylani told me and i pouted. "i'm straight and i can't have feelings for anybody, okay?"

"you can't or you won't?"

"i can't,"

and with that she walked away and began walking into school and the bell rang. i cursed under my breath and shook my head.

i hate having feelings for straight girls, but for some reason, kaylani just felt different but i wasn't going to pressure her, so i guess it just wasn't going to work out between her and i.

•

as y'all can see , billie caught feelings real fasttt! and my baby kaylani rejected her.

early update bc i love you guys so much and i wanna cuddle and kiss you all.

thoughts ? what you wanna see next ?

– armani 🦋