THE CHAPTER I'VE BEEN WAITING A MONTH TO FINALLY PUBLISH

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b i l l i e

kaylani and i have been dating for four months.

we celebrated with dinner. we try a new place every month and it's good so far, kaylani just eats the same thing in every place and she claims it tastes 'different'.

she's made me really happy. i literally go to her house everyday. the haunting memory of her telling me about her ex still makes me mad. i've taken my anger out in other ways though. i smoked, drank and been punching the fuck out of shit, but it doesn't help. i need to find out who he is and i wanna hurt him, so bad.

so, i tried getting it from kylie and juliana, and i made sure to be slick with it.

"so.." i spoke as i laid down on the couch in kylie's house. it was just kylie, juliana and i. kaylani had to go somewhere with her moms, so i was just waiting. "i've been wanting to find out who kaylani's been talking about,"

"yeah..no billie," juliana said with a shake of her head and i frown. "we all know what's gonna go down if you find him. you'll go to jail for attempted murder and that's how long in jail? and could we even bail you out?"

"right," kylie agreed. "even jayden wants to beat shit outta na- i mean..him,"

"his names starts with a 'n'?" i asked and i heard kylie swear to herself. "his name starts with n, he's tall, tattoos and piercings. thank you for another hint,"

"really kylie? what is wrong with you!" juliana groaned.

"wait!" i yelled. "jayden knows who he is, but i can't?"

"bil.." kylie started. "you are crazy. crazy as fuck when it comes to kaylani and everybody knows that. you're not you when you're angry. you black out. i don't want you to go to jail bil. so, yes he knows, you just can't know,"

"that's bullshit," i chuckled. "i need to protect kaylani. god knows what he's doing to other girls. you can't just let him roam fucking free,"

they stayed silent knowing i was right. i didn't lie though. he could be out here doing this to other girls. they need to stop listening to kaylani and out this son of a bitch.

"i'll find him on my own. his name starts with a n, tall, tattoos and piercings and he's probably a senior since he was a sophomore when kaylani was a freshman," i said, getting up and the two girls got up quickly, standing in front of the door. "bro, move. seriously,"

"no billie. i do not want you to get hurt nor in trouble. we are graduating in a few days and i want you to graduate with me," kylie pleaded. she looked completely terrified and worried. she knew how i was. "we're gonna figure this all out, but you cannot go out here trying to find the guy and beat him till he bleeds,"

"i put it on finneas and i never lie on my brother like that," i told them. "and y'all not gonna keep me in here forever,"

"billie, please," the latina pleaded.

i rolled my eyes and i sat back down. the other two girls sighed in happiness and began going back to where they were sitting, when they moved away from the door, i got up quickly and tried to go to the door. kylie ran and she tackled me. i fell to the floor and i let out a loud groan, she's really built.

"kylie what the fuck!" i groaned as her and juliana sat on me. "both of y'all get up,"

i pushed up and juliana fell off of me, i turned around trying to get kylie off of me, but she sat on me and pinned my hands down while juliana held my feet.

"stop!" she yelled. "billie fucking o'connell, you're going to stay your ass right the fuck here. you leave that door and get yourself hurt, i will be mad and kaylani will be upset with you. so stop, okay! STOP,"

"okay mom," i responded. she was kind of intimidating like this.

"billie..you get me fucking heated," kylie said through gritted teeth and then she began punching my arms.

oh she wanna fight? i turned over in a flash and held her arms down. juliana got up and playfully began pulling my hair. one of my arms was hitting juliana's leg while the other was playfully punching kylie.

"you weak bitches is jumping me!" i yelled as i laughed.

juliana jumped on my back, so i tumbled over and she began hopping on my back while kylie had my hair and softly punched the back of my head.

they kept jumping me while i was still beating their ass and then we heard the door open, but we still kept fighting, rolling over on the floor like dogs.

"excuse me, what in the hell are y'all doing?" i heard aaliyah say.

"mama liyah, they jumping me!" i said.

"get off my girl!" i heard kaylani say and then of course, they listened to her and we all got up. "y'all act like children,"

"hi baby, i missed you," i greeted her as i pulled her into a kiss and i heard the two girls gag behind us. "y'all wanna fight me again? my girl is here to help me now and she'll beat y'all ass,"

"nobody's getting their ass beat but y'all four if y'all don't get y'all butts upstairs so liyah and i can make dinner!" mama lisa snapped.

we all looked at each other. i grabbed kaylani carrying her bride style while kylie carried juliana up the stairs. the other two went to kylie's room while kaylani and i went to her room.

"you're so beautiful," i whispered to her as i laid her down, towering over her, my hair falling over my face.

"like you," she whispered back, pressing a kiss against my lips softly. "what was y'all two fighting about?"

"because i wanted to know who the guy was. the guy who had the audacity to try and put his hands on you when you said no multiple times," i told her.

i sat up when i saw her face drop and she also sat up, her back resting against her headboard.

"billie what did i tell you?"

"baby, out of respect," i started and she arched one of her eyebrows. "everybody is listening to you and they're stupid as fuck for doing that. kaylani you don't understand how that shit pissed me the fuck off and i put it on finneas i was gonna beat his ass and i meant it till this day,"

"i get that you care," she responded softly. "but you do realize if you beat him up the way you said you would, you would get in big trouble for that? especially with your rings baby. i don't want you to get you in trouble because of him,"

"i care for you so much," i told her. "but i can't listen to you. i can't. kay, he can be out here doing these to other girls. if i have a chance to save another one, and if i do get in trouble and get thrown in jail, i'll fucking smile in my pictures. this is about you, of course, but think about other girls he would talk to,"

"okay i understand. but, you cannot go to jail. i'm not trying to sound selfish. i care about other girls too, but my moms will take care of it. it's step by step. it's not easy," kaylani responded but i just shook my head. "i know you don't agree–"

"–i don't fucking agree. at all," i snapped but she didn't flinch or anything, she understood how i was feeling. "he tried to do that shit to you. i couldn't sleep because it fucking played in my mind over and over. shit, you ran out the house with nothing but your fucking phone. somebody could've kidnapped you kaylani. it's his fucking fault. he deserves to be outed,"

"hey," she whispered, grabbing my face in her hands. "i know, but i didn't get kidnapped. i didn't get raped. we will figure this out, but violence isn't the answer,"

i moved back from the bed. i'm not mad at her, of course not. but i'm just mad, because i want to protect her. i want to protect her from every bad thing in the future, but what about if i can't? and that terrifies me.

"where you going?" she asked me.

"shower," i replied bluntly and she just nodded her head. she was so understanding and it killed me. terribly.

at dinner, i couldn't really eat. kaylani took the attention off of me because she knew why i wasn't eating that well and she began talking about graduation. i might not even graduate this year, because i'm going to find this dude and beat his ass just like i said. and i'm gonna do it respectfully.

after dinner was done, i went straight to kaylani's room and i changed into grey sweatpants, hanging it off my hips, putting on a sports bra and putting my hair into a bun. i had a little push-up bar hanging on kaylani's closet, so i walked towards it, turning around, my face facing the door and i began doing push-ups.

"god, you know i never pray, ever," i began talking as i continued doing my push-ups. "but please give me the fu–i mean please give me the strength, give me the strength to when i find this dude, to beat the crap out of him. if crap is a swear, i apologize. but, god, i know you don't tolerate with what he did to my girl. so please, let me find him soon so i can give him the beating he deserves,"

"who you talking to?" i heard a voice say, and when i opened my eyes, i saw kaylani standing there, her back against the door.

"god," i told the truth. i could never lie to kaylani.

"what? i thought you didn't pray? or i thought you didn't believe in god..what did you say?"

"i can't say. it's a secret between him and i," i smiled and she rolled her eyes jokingly.

"anyways, you look so sexy," she blurted out and my eyes widened, this was the first time she's ever said this. she usually calls me gorgeous or beautiful..but sexy? she comes over to me and presses her hand against my stomach and i looked down at her, her eyes big. she pressed her lips against mine and wrapped her hands around my neck, grabbing the back of my hair softly and i groaned quietly in her mouth.

i let go of the handle bar and picked her up by the thighs with one hand her legs wrapping around my waist and she deepened the kiss. my other hand grabbed the back of her neck softly and i walked to her bed, laying her down gently.

her hands softly scratched my back and i shuddered at the feeling. her legs were wrapped around my waist and my hands were now gripping her thighs. i don't know what got over her, this wasn't like kaylani at all.

"what are you doing?" i breathed out as she began kissing my neck. "are you trying to take my mind off of the dude? is that what you're doing? is that what you were talking to kylie and juli about?"

"shhhh," she whispered.

she turned us around so she was on top now. she grabbed my arms and put it over my head, intertwining our fingers together and she began planting kisses on my neck.

"kaylani," i groaned. "is there something wrong?"

"no.." she blushed, looking at me. "i just wanted to try something new. is that okay?"

how can i say no to her beautiful big pouting eyes. i smiled and began kissing her again, this time turning us around so i was on top of her again.

and that's what we did for about an hour, kissing each other and not going below the neck. she was usually soft with kissing, but i wouldn't say no to her trying something new. i could never say no to kaylani.

•

the next morning, kaylani's alarm woke us up and she jumped on me, waking me up. i groaned, but i couldn't resist her little 'baby wake up' so of course, my whipped ass got up and we took a shower together.

we've took showers together. all we did was wash each other's body and hair. i was waiting for her to give me the word of when she wanted to take things farther and if it took months, i wouldn't care. i would wait eternity for her.

after we finished, i got dressed and i watched kaylani do her hair in the mirror and she looked so flawless. she was a literal goddess. and i was so whipped.

juliana and kylie was already ready. we said bye to their moms and their moms said i love you and wished us a good day and today just seemed like an amazing day for some reason, i don't know why.

we got into my car and of course passed by dunkin's for breakfast. i only got a water and ice and i paid for the rest of their food even when kaylani tried to pay, but kylie and juliana yelled at her, it was so funny.

we got to school and that's when we split up. i gave kaylani kisses and told her to text me if anything happens. i gave juliana a hug and then we split up. them two going their separate ways and kylie and i going our separate way.

classes went by fast, and lunch came by. i don't know why it felt so good today, but it just did. i got taco bell, kylie and juliana got chipotle and then kaylani got chick-fil-a.

we ate and talked. mostly kylie and juliana talked to each other. if they liked girls and kylie wasn't taken, i would totally try to put them together. i lowkey think they have a girl crush on each other and it's so cute.

since we were in the parking lot of the school, after we literally finished eating, the bell rang. kaylani being a good student, she wanted to go before the second bell rang and of course we all listened to her.

i had study hall today which meant i had to be at the fucking library, but all i do is be on my phone or sleep, and today i'll probably sleep because these 6 burritos hit different today.

i said goodbye to all of them, and i made sure to kiss kaylani before she went to class and she kept trying to push me off, because she thought i was gonna make her late to class which was not true, because she went to class early anyways.

i waited till the second bell to ring and i made my way to the library. i said hi to the librarian who loved me so much. mrs.jane was my bitch for real, ever since freshman year.

i went to the back, where i would usually go. i put my bag on the seat and i sat down, and i began scrolling through my phone and i read messages between kaylani and i and i saw how she wanted me to read this book called the outsiders.

i put my phone in my back pocket and i got up, beginning to look at the library for the book. i heard a few guys talking and i scrunched my nose at what they were talking about. boys are so weird, that's why i'd rather date girls.

"bro..shorty acts like she don't know me anymore. acting like she didn't want me to fuck her on her birthday and at the party," i heard a guy say and i just shook my head and i couldn't hear what the other guy said. "yeah kaylani be buggin. she wanted me to fuck her so bad she was begging me. like i'm your ex, did she forget she broke up with me?"

what the fuck did he just say about my girlfriend?

"begging to be on this dick. she's such a fucking whore, just like her sister. she's dating a 20 year old in college. weirdo. i might go back to kaylani, i miss her and i know she misses me," i heard him say again.

"nathaniel, you're crazy," i heard another guy laugh.

nathaniel? nathaniel fucking sinclair. tall, tattoos, nose piercing.

and it clicked.

i walked over to his table and he looked up, staring at my now dark eyes. i was heated. i was fucking heated and i really wish kylie had this class with me, because there was no going back now.

"hey bi–"

and i punched him, right in his fucking jaw and his bro's gasped. he held his jaw and looked at me with dark eyes. i jumped over the table, pushing him back, and he fell back and landed on the floor and i began beating his face in, with rings on.

"you talk about my girlfriend like that once again," i growled as i grabbed him by his collar, making him stand up and pushing him against the wall and choked him tightly and began punching him again. he tried pushing me back but i was too angry. "i will fucking kill you, you understand! i will fucking murder you, fucking bitch. you didn't fuck kaylani, are you dumb?"

i slammed his head against the wall and threw him to the floor, his mouth was bleeding and my knuckles were busted open and it was bleeding, but it didn't hurt, it felt so good.

i walked to him and threw a kick to his stomach and made him groan. i went down, grabbing him by his collar and i slammed his head against the floor twice. one of his bro's came to me trying to pull me off but i got up and punched him also, and he didn't fight me.

i got on top of nathaniel and began beating his face in. i blacked out, because all i remembered was somebody shouting, i saw blood on the floor, i heard my ears ring and all i could hear was my blood pumping.

i looked down and saw nathaniel trying to push me off with blood all over his face. i felt somebody grab me, but i didn't get off. i wanted to kill him, i wanted to fucking hurt him.

"billie get off of him! you're gonna kill him!"

that's exactly my point. but sadly, it took about four people to get me off of him and when i got off, i landed a kick to his face. i heard the principals voice and i was trying to fight off the people that was holding me back.

"let me fucking go!" i yelled.

"that's why your girlfriend was on my dick you bitch," nathaniel spat at me, blood coming out his mouth.

and then i targeted him again, pounding his face in, but i was pulled off of him again and now here we are, in the principals office with ice on the table, which was supposed to be on my hand, but my hand was hurting.

"o'connell," principal harris started. "you haven't been in my office for a year. you're graduating in a few days and this is what you do?"

"i had my fucking reasons. and this scum bitch is gonna tell you exactly what the fuck he did for me to beat his ass!" i yelled.

principal harris knew i never got like this. usually when i fought, i always stopped myself, but he knew this time it was for a good reason. exactly why i liked him.

"how good is your reason billie?" he questioned.

"very fucking good. and this bitch boy is gonna tell you exactly why i beat the living shit outta him," i growled, clenching my jaw. "tell him bitch or i'll beat the shit outta you again and this time i'll put you in a fucking coma!"

"billie!" principal harris snapped. "now, nathaniel. explain yourself,"

"and if you lie, i'm busting your fucking ass and i put that on my brother bitch!" i spat. finneas is gonna be so proud of me. "go ahead, talk!"

"billie..please," principal harris sighed.

"last summer..i..i sexually assaulted a girl," nathaniel whispered. "i almost..almost raped her but she said no and she ran. i saw her at a party and i threatened her,"

"you did what?" principal harris growled. "and is this somebody special to you billie?"

"so fucking special," i responded with a shake of my head.

"her name is–"

"–you will not say her name without permission sinclair," principal harris snapped. "is that all nathaniel?"

"she..she goes to this school and i lied..i lied about having sex with her," the bitch boy continued.

i couldn't help but punch him again. principal harris shouted for me to stop and he got up and held me back.

"i understand your pain billie, but calm down. calm. down," he whispered in my ears. "calm down,"

i clenched my jaw and i sat down, nathaniel looking at me with fear and his face looked so fucked up.

"nathaniel, you will not be attending school for the rest of the year. you are officially expelled. your parents and the school board will have to hear about this, and if the young lady you sexually assaulted decides to speak up, you will be taken to court and it would put such a smile to my face to see you go to jail," the principal ranted. "do you have any injuries? i don't really care, but if you have a concussion, you have to go to the hospital,"

"everything in my body hurts," bitch boy said.

"i'll call an ambulance and your parents will be called. so, nathaniel, come with me. billie, you can stay here until school is over. don't go anywhere," he said and i just nodded.

he left with nathaniel and i just sat in that office. a girl brought me my bag and phone and she told me thank you for beating nathaniel up, because he's rude and disrespectful.

i guess nobody knew about the fight, because kylie, kaylani or juliana didn't text me. i laid back and texted finneas about the whole fight since i couldn't leave the room. we facetimed and i showed him my busted knuckles and he just laughed. he asked me if i was okay and i just told him yes and we just talked.

i heard the bell ring and i waited until the second bell and then i got a text from kylie.

imessage
" kylie jackson "

bil you're gonna
fucking hear it
when i see you.
we got an uber home.
i know you gonna wanna
talk to lani at home
rather than in the
school parking lot.

does she know?

no, but juli
and i know.
and you better
fucking tell her.

okay

i knew i was gonna hear it.

i walked out of school and many people stared at me, but i didn't care. i was proud for what i did and i'll always be proud.

i got into my car and drove to the jackson's. i parked outside and for some reason, i was so nervous to face kaylani, i knew she was gonna be upset. i feel like this was gonna be our first argument.

i unlocked the door with the key they gave me and i saw kylie and juliana sitting down in the living room, watching something on the tv.

"hey," i said, smiling wide.

"billie.." kylie said. "go upstairs and tell your girlfriend what happened. we'll be hearing everything from here. also, i'll tell my mother to fix up your knuckles. i see the dried blood. yours and his,"

juliana just looked at me with fascination in her eyes. i knew she wanted to be mad, but she knew how i was when it came to kaylani.

i waved bye to them and i walked up the stairs, going to kaylani's room. when i opened the door, i saw her in front of the mirror, putting her hair in a high bun and when she saw me, she smiled at me, but the smile turned into a frown a few seconds after.

"baby, what happened to your knuckles?" she asked in a worried voice, rushing to me. "who'd you fight? are you okay?"

"nathaniel. i fought nathaniel, kaylani," and my nerves left my body and i was angry again.

"you did what?" she asked me and i closed the door behind me. i felt an argument coming. "seriously billie? seriously. you couldn't at least be selfish for once and not fight and think about your education? you're graduating soon!"

"don't you dare fucking school me," i snapped. "i had every fucking reason to beat his ass. you could tell jayden who he is, but me..your own girlfriend, you couldn't tell me?"

"because look how it turned out baby. your knuckles look terrible!" she exclaimed. "and jayden handled it better than you. he didn't go off busting his knuckles open. billie, you could've gotten hurt. he's very aggressive and you're graduating,"

"you cannot tell me what i choose about how to go about my education. stop acting like you're my parent," i told her bluntly. "you know what kaylani..i'm glad i did what i did. now he's gonna get expelled because he told the principal why i beat his ass, but yet again, i'm in the wrong,"

"you told him what he did to me? you used my name without my consent?" she asked me.

"yeah kaylani. i sure the fuck did, because here comes the cops asking you for your story. i sure the fuck did give principal harris your name without your consent," i replied sarcastically. "you get me fucking heated kaylani. he was telling his bro's he fucked you, he took your virginity and i heard it kaylani. but i overreacted right?"

"no..i didn't say that," she said softly and i rolled my eyes. "baby you could've hurt yourself. you're capable of handling your own..as i can see, but i know you put all your energy in the punches. you could've fractured your hand, i knew you were gonna beat him up regardless, but i was just scared okay?"

i didn't answer. i still believed she thought i was overreacting and that pissed me off, i had every right to be upset.

"hey.." she whispered, grabbing my face in her hands, but i turned my head. "baby, please look at me, i'm sorry,"

fuck, i'm whipped of course and so i turn to look at her, and she's looking at me with pouty eyes and she's not even doing it on purpose.

"i'm sorry, okay?" she apologized, speaking in her soft voice that gets me every time. "thank you for protecting me. thank you for getting him to tell the truth, and thank you for not saying my name. just thank you, okay? i just was scared something bad was gonna happen. like you were gonna get jumped or something. i don't want you to get hurt, you mean so so much to me,"

i'm still mad, furious even. i put him in the hospital, but i didn't put him in the grave where he belongs.

i smashed my lips against kaylani's and pushed her up against the wall softly. i moved my lips against hers hungrily and she seemed to get the message. i softly pressed my hands against her neck, not choking her too hard, but choking her the way she likes it.

she wrapped her legs around my waist and pulled me close to her. my other hand grabbed both of her arms and put it above her head. so basically, the only thing that was holding her up was my body and the hand around her neck.

"baby," i heard her whisper as we disconnected our lips together and i hummed in response. "i wanna..i want to have sex. i want you to take my virginity,"

•

nathaniel finally got his ass beating. what y'all think gonna happen w him?

and please don't be mean to kaylani on this chapter. leave my baby alone )): she's going through enough already.

this was my favorite chapter to write, deadass. i was over here cheering billie on while she was whooping ass. and kaylani really got bold and told billie she wants to have sex..oouu spicy.

also, updates are going to get slow after this, cus i'm about to start making my own wigs AND my girlfriend and i finally found an apartment.

– armani 🦋