Summary: What if it was Ben who was captured and Lydia was married to Andre at the time. Not necessarily canon-compliant. But maybe. We'll see.

Lydia awoke to find an arm draped across her waist and her back pressed tightly against a body much warmer and bigger than her own. She turned to find John awake and looking at her with his blue eyes wide awake, his dark hair falling in his face. Lydia gently brushed the tendril of hair behind his ear and gently grasped the thin braid in his hair. He smiled before smoothing the curls around Lydia's face.

"Wife," he whispered, the smile never faltering from his face.

"Husband," Lydia whispered back a smile beginning to play on her face

They had been wed for nearly three years. Following the Battle of Setauket, her father had insisted on hastening them into marriage. While Lydia had adamantly tried to fight against it, John had promised her that they wouldn't truly live as man and wife until she was ready. While consmation would be required, it needn't go beyond that he had promised her. And he had kept that promise.

It was the months of loneliness that eventually drove her to him. The move to Philadelphia away from everyone she knew had driven her to seek refuge into the arms of her husband. And truthfully, she found herself enjoying his company. He would consult her about things. He would allow her to input. Lydia had never expected herself to fall for Major John Andre, but after several months of marriage, she found that love came quite softly.

John leaned forward and gently kissed her forehead, then each of her cheeks, her nose, her chin...

"For as high-ranking an official, as you are, you have terrible aim," Lydia giggled.

"I'm getting there," he mumbled against her jaw. He pulled back and looked her in the eye. "I just happen to be a patient man with a rather impatient woman for a wife."

Lydia laughed and playfully smacked his arm before he finally leaned in to gently kiss her lips. It had taken some time for her to feel something from his kisses, but she certainly did, something she knew never would have happened had her father married her away to Cooke as intended.

A stiff knock came at the door. "Major Andre, it's a matter of urgency," a male voice boomed, startling them. John rolled off Lydia and sat up, pulling the quilt over her for modesty's sake.

"Enter," John said after clearing his throat.

The soldier came in and spotted Lydia staring at him. His face turned the color of his coat as his eyes seemed to be very fixated on the ceiling. "There's a prisoner in which we require your assistance."

"Oh?"

The soldier pulled at his collar. "He says he's a Major Benjamin Tallmadge and he wished to be dealt with by you directly."

Lydia's heart dropped and her face blanched. Benjamin Tallmadge. Benjamin Tallmadge? It had been years since she had heard from him...her first husband. After he had refused to allow Lydia to leave Setauket with him following the Battle of Setauket, things had fallen apart between them. Richard Woodhull then began to rush the marriage plans between Lydia and Andre...and the next thing she knew Lydia was telling her father she couldn't wed John because she was already wed to another. But Richard Woodhull was a magistrate and he knew his way about such proceedings. Within a week, he had Lydia's marriage to Benjamin Tallmadge annulled and saw her wed to John Andre.

John had never been told the truth. He knew that she had been married to Benjamin Tallmadge, but he had thought it because she had been coerced against her will. Lydia made no notion to tell him otherwise. Especially not when things seemed to start to bloom between them. While it wasn't what she had had with Ben, it was different and in a good way...or so she had thought.

John glanced at his wife, who made eye contact with him grimly. He then turned toward the soldier. "I'll be down in a moment. You're dismissed." The soldier left and John stood up to ready himself. He didn't say a word to his wife.

Lydia sat up and hugged her knees tight to her body. "I want to see him, John," Lydia whispered.

"He's a prisoner, Lydia. And if he's asking to be dealt with by me, then I can only assume that the conditions involving his arrest are quite unpleasant. He might have even been caught as a spy, which will spell death for him."

Lydia flinched before she sighed. "John, please?"

"You're my wife."

"And I was once his."

"Don't let anyone hear you say that!"

"But it's the truth, John and I think he deserves the truth. I only ask a few minutes alone with him."

"Alone?" John scoffed. He rubbed his face roughly. She knew that he didn't like the idea. But she knew that he was going to think about it because he sighed greatly. "I'll see what I can manage, Lydia. I can make no promises."

"All I ask is that you try, John. For my sake."

It was hours before John came back. He was pale and his expression grim. He didn't even need to voice the words for Lydia to know that Ben had been given a death sentence. John quickly crossed the room and took his wife into his arms before she fell to the floor. He held onto her tightly as she sobbed. It was always hard to lose one's first love and it was even harder when you never stopped loving them. A piece of Lydia's heart had always stayed with Ben Tallmadge and while John had been able to muster something with the pieces of Lydia's heart, he had never fully had it...and he knew it.

John had managed to secure her a few minutes with Ben...alone. While he didn't like it, he knew that for the sake of his marriage going forward, it would be necessary. John opened the door for her and she walked inside.

The room was very dimly lit, but she could see Ben sitting on a cot in the corner his gaze focused on his crossed hands. He was praying. Lydia could tell just by looking at him. But it did frustrate her that he didn't even look up at her. Granted, he probably thought her just another soldier.

"It's me. Lyddie," she whispered before clearing her throat..

Ben's head snapped up and he looked at her. He was not dressed in his buff and blues. No, he was dressed in his civilian clothes. She wanted to yell at him and call him an idiot for being so careless, but she didn't. Instead, she flung herself at his feet and wrapped her arms tightly around his legs before he could say anything to her. She was surprised that he didn't say anything, instead, he brought a hand to her hair and began to run his fingers through it.

They stayed there silently for a few minutes before Lydia rose to her feet. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "That was wrong of me."

"It isn't wrong for a wife to cling to her husband," Ben whispered. He paused for a moment. "I don't care what the law or your father has to say about it. You're still my wife."

Lydia sighed. "No. I'm not." She twisted the gold band on her hand, realizing that she missed the way the silver one looked there.

"Before God you are and he's the only one that really counts, isn't he?"

Lydia's brow furrowed. How would God think of her? As Mrs. Tallmadge or Mrs. Andre? Perhaps such a thing would prevent her from heaven. She moved across the room and sat down in a chair across from Ben. "Since when have you cared what God said?"

Ben cocked an eyebrow. "You do remember I'm the preacher's son."

"Who was quite rebellious at times, especially concerning such matters."

"I've always cared what God said. I wouldn't have waited so long for you if I hadn't." Lydia blushed and Ben cleared his throat. "But I've become a little more dependant on him since..."

Since they had parted. She knew that's what he was going to say, even if he didn't say the words. They had always had an unspoken dialogue between them. And Lydia wasn't sure at the present if it was a good or bad thing it still existed.

"So, Andre, huh?" Ben asked.

Lydia nodded. "He was still willing to take me even after learning about you."

"Has he treated you well?"

She nodded again. It was true, John had provided everything she needed and more, which was more than Ben could have ever given her in his position. But it wasn't the same.

"I--I wanted to be sure. I needed to be sure. That's why I requested him once I was caught."

Lydia shook her head. She didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to hear that he was checking in on her before he met his maker. She abruptly stood from the chair and walked over to him. She dug into her pocket and pulled out a small leather pouch. That pouch had never strayed from her pocket, not even on her wedding day. It had always been with her. She opened it and the silver band fell onto her hand. She thrust her hand toward Ben.

"Take it. It's yours."

But Ben shook his head and pushed her hand away. "I gave it to you. It's yours."

"Benjamin."

"Lydia."

"Why do you have to be so stubborn about this?" Lydia hissed. She knew he wasn't being stubborn, but she couldn't think of anything better to say to him that properly conveyed all she was feeling.

"They're going to hang me, Lyddie," Ben whispered. She wanted to tell him that she already knew. That John had told her as much already, but she couldn't tell him. Not now. "But I'm not scared to die, not knowing that I got to see you one last time." He gave her a small smile, which did nothing to reassure her. "I never stopped loving you, Lyddie. Surely you must know that. Only you."

Tears pricked Lydia's eyes. She lowered her head so that she was face to face with Ben. She placed her hands on his cheeks. Ben reacted just as she had expected, he sighed and rubbed his stubbly cheeks against her hands. She then brought her forehead down and rested it on his. His breath hitched at her touch.

"I have one thing to ask of you," Ben asked hesitantly.

"Anything," Lydia whispered, still pressing her forehead against his, her eyes closed and her tears gently falling onto his face. She could tell that he was beginning to cry now, his salty tears mixing with hers.

"I know you're a married woman, but can you..."

Lydia choked back a sob. It might have been years since their last contact, but she still knew him well enough to know what it was that he wanted. And she would not refuse him. She lowered her head so that her lips were near his. She could feel his breath on her lips. Lydia moved into to kiss him, but he pulled back a little.

"Look at me please," Ben asked.

Lydia's eyes opened. Her vision was quite blurry, but she could still make out the beautiful blue of his eyes. A sob escaped her, but Ben quickly quieted her with his lips. The kiss started out gentle, much like their first kisses had been but it quickly grew fervent. Lydia couldn't remember the last time she had been kissed so fervently without drink involved and she couldn't help but respond, trying to pull herself closer to him. Her hand entwined in his hair and she wanted nothing more than to be even closer. But Ben gasped for air and pulled back.

"I thought so," he mumbled as he gently kissed Lydia again. "I lied, I didn't mean to, but I lied to you. I have one more thing to ask."

Lydia didn't say anything. She just sniffled.

"Please say it. Please let me hear it so that those words might be the last in my head."

"I love you. I still love you." With that Lydia quickly released him and fled from the room. John was nowhere to be seen, so she fled to their bedroom and closed the door behind her. She fell to the floor in a heap of sobs and stayed there until her husband moved her many hours later.

She hadn't wanted to attend the hanging, but there she was anyway. It wasn't for her that she was there. It was for Ben. So that she could be with him in his final moments. And while their marriage might have been annulled, Lydia still couldn't help but feel it necessary to keep that part of the vow: 'til death us do part.

The charges against Ben were read. Ben only looked forward at Lydia. It was as if he had found some sort of solace in this all. Ben extended his hand toward Andre. Andre accepted Ben's hand and they shook it. In so many ways they had been equals, just on the opposite side of the war. Lydia knew they would have gotten along very well had it not been for the war.

Ben climbed the ladder to the noose hanging for him. He put it around his neck and pulled the blindfold over his eyes.

"Does the accused have any final words?"

Ben lifted the blindfold from his face and quickly found Lydia. John stiffened beside her, but Ben gave him a nod. There was a lot behind that nod. But taking care of her was the majority of it. Andre nodded his head back. Then John did something that surprised Lydia, he glanced away for a few seconds to give Ben his final moments, locked eyes with the woman he loved.

"I'll be waiting, however long it takes," Ben said.

Lydia choked back a sob but mouthed the words "I'll find you. I love you."

At those words, Ben smiled and pulled the blindfold over his face. And he met his fate, smiling with only Lydia on his heart and mind.

Lydia's eyes flung open and she panted for air, screaming Ben's name. She looked around the dimly lit room to find Ben on his knees, holding tightly to her hand, and tears falling down his face. "Oh thank, God," he whispered rubbing Lydia's hand against his cheek.

"You're--you're alive," Lydia whispered, using her free hand to touch Ben to make sure he was real. "I--I thought you were dead. It felt so real."

"Me? Me?" his voice cracked and another tear slipped down his cheek. "You're the one who's been sick for days with fever, Lyddie. I--I thought you were going to..." Ben stopped himself, unwilling to say the word die lest it become a prophecy.

Lydia tried to sit up, but Ben's hand quickly found their way to her shoulders to keep her down. "You mustn't try to get up yet. You need to rest."

Her hands reached up and gently grabbed the arms that were pinning her down. She looked up at Ben, tears beginning to well in her eyes. While things had been difficult since Andre's death, she knew that where there was death, there would always be death. And the thought of Ben dying was far worse to her. Ben was her breath, her heart, her reason for living. He might be stubborn, but he was hers...or at least she hoped he still was. She had been downright dreadful to him.

"Benj," Lydia whispered the name she had called him since they were children affectionately.

"Lyddie?" Ben whispered back softly, he gently brushed her matted hair from her face.

A tear slipped down her cheek. "I promise to tell you everything once I'm well again. But for now...will you hold me. Please? I need you."

I need you. That was all Ben needed to hear for now. Those were the words his heart had been yearning for. He gently brushed Lydia's tears with his thumb before he carefully crawled over her, never taking his eyes from hers. He lay down on the empty spot in the bed beside her. He rolled closer to her so that his body pressed firmly against hers. He wrapped his arm around her, her hand wrapping around his. He rested his chin on the crook of her neck and he couldn't help but smile softly as Lydia sighed against him. It was as if they had been made perfectly for each other.

"I love you, Benjamin Tallmadge," Lydia barely got out before falling asleep again.

"And I, you, Lydia Woodhull Tallmadge," Ben whispered as he pressed a kiss against her temple with each of her names. He then closed his eyes and allowed sleep to overtake him with the comfort of his wife breathing steadily in his arms