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"Everything would be perfectβwe would be living our dream life, if only, if only, if only..." Pashmina said, her eyes welling with tears, her mouth slightly open as she moved her hand in a circular motion to her right, repeating the action and the words over and over.
"If only what, Pashmina?" Shubmam asked, giving her a gentle shake as he saw her repeating "if only" again and again, like a broken record.
Pashmina blinked, her gaze distant, as if lost in a world of her thoughts. She swallowed hard, her trembling voice finally breaking the silence. "I... made... my... Karan... break his promise," she said, looking at Shubman. Her face was expressionless, a void reflecting the emptiness she felt inside as if her heart itself had become hollow.
"How?" Shubman asked, his voice gentle but firm as he cupped Pashmina's face in his hands. He looked into her eyes, searching for the truth hidden behind her vacant expression. "Tell me, Mina. Let's be a little brave, shall we?"
She untangled his hands from her face, standing up and stepping forward with her arms outstretched as if trying to grasp something elusive. "If only I had turned around, I wouldn't have broken Karan's promise," she said, her voice heavy with regret as if she could reverse time with her words.
Shubman placed his hands on her shoulders, steadying her as he pressed a soft kiss to the side of her head. Pashmina continued to gesture as if turning something in the air, her frustration bubbling beneath the surface.
"Shubman, if only I had turned right..." she whispered, the words slipping from her lips like a prayer for a second chance.
Shubman met her gaze with intensity, his eyes filled with understanding. "Mina, you can't keep dwelling on what could have been.
Yanking his hands away, Pashmina shouted, her voice echoing through the valleys. "How can I not? I am the reason he isn't here anymore!" Her eyes turned red with anger and pain, and the intensity in her voice, along with the dark hue of her eyes, startled Shubman.
"Mina, listenβ" he began, but she cut him off, the turmoil within her spilling over.
"I don't want to hear anything!" Pashmina shouted, moving backwards and shaking her head as tears streamed down her face. "I think I finally realized I don't deserve any of thisβneither you nor my family. All I want is to be with Karan." As she spoke, her feet edged dangerously close to the cliff's edge.
Shubman's heart raced as he noticed her precarious position. "Mina, please! Step back from the edge!" he urged, instinctively reaching out for her.
Pashmina paused, looking down at the drop below, her heart pounding in her chest. "What does it matter?" she cried, her voice breaking. "I feel so lost without him. I can't face a world where he isn't by my side."
"Mina, listen to me," Shubman pleaded, his voice steady but filled with urgency. "Karan wouldn't want this for you. He wouldn't want you to give up on life because of him. You still have so much to offer, and so many people who care about you. You can't throw it all away."
She shook her head, tears blurring her vision. "But I feel so empty without him. He was everything to me. I can't just move on like it's nothing."
Shubman took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. "It's okay to feel lost and heartbroken. You're allowed to grieve, but you can't let that grief consume you. You have to find a way to honour your love for Karan while still living your life."
"No!" she shouted, shaking her head vehemently, tears streaming down her face. "How can I live when I threw his life away? No, I can't! Goodbye, Shubman. Thank you for being my friend. Tell everyone I loved them, but their Mina can't do it anymore."
With that, Pashmina closed her eyes and let herself fall into the valley, yearning to be with Karan again.
But in that moment, she felt a powerful force pulling her back. Shubman lunged forward, his hands gripping her tightly. "Let me go to my Karan! Let me go to my love! I want to be with him! Let me go!"
Her cries grew louder, each wail tearing at Shubman's heart and making his frustration boil over. He pulled back, holding her face firmly in his hands, forcing her to meet his gaze. "If you want your love, I want mine too!" he shouted, his voice cracking with emotion. "And I can't see her like this! I can't!"
Pashmina's breath hitched as she looked into his tear-filled eyes, the raw intensity of his plea hitting her like a wave. "Shubman..." she began, her voice trembling, but he interrupted her.
"No!" he insisted, shaking his head vehemently. "You need to hear me. Karan wouldn't want you to give up. I don't want my love to give up either! I can't stand the thought of losing you!" His heart raced at the idea of what she was about to do, and the fear coursing through him fueled his fury.
Pashmina looked at him, trying to process his words, her mind racing. Amid her pain, Shubman's fierce expression held her attention. "You're not alone in this," he continued, his voice softening. "I'm here, and I care about you."
Then, almost as if compelled by an unseen force, he added, "Yes, I love you, Pashmina Kohli! I fucking love you!" The confession hung in the air, raw and unfiltered.
Pashmina's eyes widened, the weight of his words crashing over her. Confusion mixed with surprise as she struggled to find the right response. "Shubman..." she whispered, feeling the gravity of his declaration seep into her heart.
"I love you," Shubman continued, his voice trembling with urgency. "I never intended to confess like this, but I can't wait any longer. I just want your darkness to leave you. My heart aches to see you like this."
Holding onto Shubman's collar, Pashmina gulped, her eyes filled with guilt and exhaustion. Every mental struggle had drained her of what little energy she had left. "I'm sorry, Shubman," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "But I cannot love you. No one can ever be there where Karan was."
Pashmina's body went limp, and she fainted in his arms, her head resting against his chest. Panic surged through him as he instinctively tightened his grip, catching her before she could fall to the ground.
"Pashmina!" he called out, his voice laced with alarm. He shook her gently, but there was no response.
Sighing to calm himself, he took a deep breath, reminding himself to focus. He remembered reading about anxiety and how it could overwhelm a person, sometimes leading to fainting spells.
Realizing that this could be a result of the emotional turmoil she had been experiencing, he carefully picked her up, cradling her against him.
He rushed to the bedroom, gently laying her down on the bed. The sight of her pale face made his heart ache, but he knew he had to act quickly.
Reaching into his bag, he retrieved the medicines that Paaji had given him earlier. He felt a mix of urgency and concern as he prepared the injection, recalling Paaji's instructions. "This will help you, Mina," he whispered, hoping that his words could somehow reach her even in her unconscious state.
Once he was done, he cupped her face in his hands, his thumb gently brushing against her cheek. He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "I won't expect love from you," he murmured, his voice trembling, "but please, don't slip back into darkness."
As he spoke, his lips brushed against her skin again, and the overwhelming emotions poured out of him. Sobs racked his body, shaking him to his core as he held her close. He felt utterly helpless, wishing he could take away all her pain.
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